Good ol' Captain Kirk, he no like Miley's twerk

September 3, 2013 6:04 AM

Spock ain't none too pleased, neither.
posted by flapjax at midnite (48 comments total)

As funny as that was, I cannot wait for the Miley/VMA thing to pass.
posted by BustedCatalyzer at 6:11 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

As funny as that was, I cannot wait for the Miley/VMA thing to pass.

Yeah, never would've imagined I'd be one to bring it to Mefi, but, yeah, I found that pretty fucking funny, so, what the hell.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:16 AM on September 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

Chekov's reaction is spot on
posted by photoslob at 6:25 AM on September 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

::ship explodes::
posted by fantabulous timewaster at 6:27 AM on September 3, 2013

Chekov's reaction is spot on

A sentence I never thought would be written, anywhere.
posted by mazola at 6:31 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

In the first couple shots, she looked quite like a standard star trek alien, fake forehead horn sensors, odd makeup, cheesy costume.
posted by sammyo at 6:32 AM on September 3, 2013 [11 favorites]

That was more entertaining than Star Trek: Into Darkness.
posted by KHAAAN! at 6:38 AM on September 3, 2013 [23 favorites]

Better writing, too.
posted by KHAAAN! at 6:40 AM on September 3, 2013 [15 favorites]

"In the first couple shots, she looked quite like a standard star trek alien..."

Actually, her walking down the steps was, to me, very reminiscent of Susan Oliver as "Vina" in The Cage — I'm thinking a scene where Vina steps down some rocks? Or it could have been another episode.
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 6:46 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

As funny as that was, I cannot wait for the Miley/VMA thing to pass.

But right now we've got Teen Buying Power™ >and< super long internet thinkpieces. It's a very groovy time.
posted by mintcake! at 6:49 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

That was really funny. The way Lt. Uhura covers her eyes and looks away from the screen - like she was embarrassed by what she was seeing - was perfect.
posted by three blind mice at 7:03 AM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Kirk looks like he's figuring the odds on whether he can hit that jiggling sexy alien ass.
posted by Nelson at 7:18 AM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

If it's not blue, Kirk's not interested.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 7:30 AM on September 3, 2013

Actually, her walking down the steps was, to me, very reminiscent of Susan Oliver as "Vina" in The Cage — I'm thinking a scene where Vina steps down some rocks? Or it could have been another episode.

"Do I please you? Do you find me pleasing?" NO AND HELL NO.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:30 AM on September 3, 2013

How we deal with death is at least as important as how we deal with life.
posted by nubs at 7:33 AM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Better writing, too.
posted by KHAAAN!

You would say that, you bloodsucker!
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 7:38 AM on September 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

It was so distressing he had to change shirts half way through!
posted by Curious Artificer at 7:41 AM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

Kirk looks like he's figuring the odds on whether he can hit that jiggling sexy alien ass.

To be fair, Kirk always looks like this
posted by edgeways at 8:14 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

If it's not blue, Kirk's not interested.

This is, like, the furthest possible thing from true.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 8:16 AM on September 3, 2013

I also came across this version (contains not-quite-a-spoiler content from Breaking Bad S05E11), comparatively understated but pretty sublime.
posted by kaytwo at 8:24 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

Kirk: This is Admiral James T. Kirk, request security access. Computer, Destruct sequence 1, code 1-1 A.

Mr. Scott: Computer, Commander Montgomery Scott chief engineering officer. Destruct sequence 2, code 1-1 A-2B.

Chekov: Computer this is Pavel Chekov, acting science officer. Destruct sequence 3, code 1 B-2B-3.

Computer: Destruct sequence completed and engaged. Awaiting final code for one-minute countdown.

Kirk: Code zero zero zero. Destruct. Zero.
posted by AElfwine Evenstar at 8:37 AM on September 3, 2013

I prefer Whorf's approach to unpleasant music.
posted by zaelic at 8:48 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

See also: all of YouTube user gazorra's TNG edits. Data's painting is making me dizzy.
posted by usonian at 8:56 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

So.. uh.. this is the next Downfall right? And how long until those two are mashed up somehow?
posted by edgeways at 8:58 AM on September 3, 2013

The way Lt. Uhura covers her eyes and looks away from the screen - like she was embarrassed by what she was seeing - was perfect.

I think/hope that was Robin Thicke's reaction if he watched it later too.
posted by VTX at 9:05 AM on September 3, 2013

This was pretty much just exactly what I needed today. Thanks, flapjax!
posted by allthinky at 9:11 AM on September 3, 2013

I prefer Whorf's approach to unpleasant music.

Hmm, that seems oddly familiar...
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:22 AM on September 3, 2013 [3 favorites]

tribbles
posted by mule98J at 9:45 AM on September 3, 2013

So.. uh.. this is the next Downfall right?

Or, as I was going to phrase it, Kirk is the new Hitler.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 9:48 AM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

I cannot wait for the Miley/VMA thing to pass.

I've never been able to laugh at the Cyrus trainwreck and I think can articulate a couple of new reasons why I've felt that way (new to me at least).

Part of Miley Cyrus' thing has always been audience inclusion. A big part of her skill set as a teen star was trying to make the audience want to join her onstage. That skill is still in use here and it's backfiring badly. This screams "join me in my degradation!" That moves it from terrible to revolting.

Bad as that is, for me there's something worse. This isn't just a horrifyingly failed attempt at sexy dancing, it reflects a complete lack of self awareness. It's the sort of dancing I'd expect to see from someone at a club who is so drunk that they're barely standing up but still throwing themselves out there sexually. That's not what's going on but it's the only context in which I've ever seen dancing go this far wrong. It looks like she's the person on the dance floor who's not even making bad decisions, she's incapable of consent. Laughing at her right now is cruel and she will feel humiliated in the morning, but what's worse is that I know the predators in the room are smelling blood in the water. I see this and I want to wrap a coat around her and tell her friends to take her home.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 9:50 AM on September 3, 2013 [6 favorites]

Kirk looks like he's figuring the odds on whether he can hit that jiggling sexy alien ass.

It's TOS; the odds are 1.
posted by yoink at 9:50 AM on September 3, 2013

Not to be missed: Hank and Marie Schrader's reaction.
posted by Halloween Jack at 9:53 AM on September 3, 2013 [2 favorites]

One cool thing about the Breaking Bad version is that there was a bit more work put into it. The Star Trek one, you could drop any old video footage in, but the BB video needed some tweaks to work in the twerks.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:57 AM on September 3, 2013

Laughing at her right now is cruel and she will feel humiliated in the morning, but what's worse is that I know the predators in the room are smelling blood in the water. I see this and I want to wrap a coat around her and tell her friends to take her home.

I feel bad for her too (as bad as one can when she makes more in a day than I'll make my entire life). I don't envy any kid or their parents navigating hollywood. But I don't believe she's lost (though this could end badly, of course), and certainly not humiliated.

She's a mediocre pop star that needs more than her talent to get people talking about her. And she succeeded. And the dancing is bad because she simply can't dance. So I guess if you can't dance, might as well stick your ass in the air and wiggle it.
posted by justgary at 1:50 PM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

This was a fan-friendly edit, too (sorry, Blaze) -- loved the shots of Kyle and Galloway (the two-shot with Scotty).
Hey, when you've seen them dozens of times, you start keeping track of those guys. Woohoo! A DeSalle episode!

I don't believe she's lost

Exactly, this is far, far from a Britney-shaved-head moment (which inspired this tremendously contrapuntal piece of empathy).
posted by dhartung at 2:56 PM on September 3, 2013 [1 favorite]

This isn't just a horrifyingly failed attempt at sexy dancing, it reflects a complete lack of self awareness. It's the sort of dancing I'd expect to see from someone at a club who is so drunk that they're barely standing up but still throwing themselves out there sexually.

And that's kind of a strange thing to see in a performer - they usually have an enhanced ability to see themselves from the outside. I wonder why no one helped her out with some constructive criticism.
posted by AnnElk at 3:40 PM on September 3, 2013

So, this is the slut-shaming thread?
posted by Ivan Fyodorovich at 4:29 PM on September 3, 2013

Kyle is the best.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 7:54 PM on September 3, 2013

I feel bad for her too (as bad as one can when she makes more in a day than I'll make my entire life). I don't envy any kid or their parents navigating hollywood. But I don't believe she's lost

I don't think she's actually lost, but the performance was a pretty good simulation of what being lost looks like, which is what I was responding to.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 8:16 PM on September 3, 2013

Am I the only one that thinks her failed attempts at being sexy are, in some strange inexplicable fashion, quite alluring? I get the hate, but I still feel like her fumbling attempts to appear as if she is the bleeding edge are amusing as well as sensuous in their own right. The whole mechanism behind popular music is selling of hyper-perfect sexual creatures. Why not take some delight in a girl that fumbles and falters, trying to be in the belly of the beast as snapple our lord demands..

In a sense she's the most amazing pop star I have yet to set my wayward eyes upon.
posted by vantam at 10:31 PM on September 3, 2013

So I guess if you can't dance, might as well stick your ass in the air and wiggle it.

Well in my day one put one's hands in the air, and waved them about without a care in the world.
posted by obiwanwasabi at 1:12 AM on September 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Well, I was finally conned into watching this.
Was that what you Earth people call "music"?

So, this is the slut-shaming thread?
It is now.

ALL THOSE PEOPLE WHO WERE NOT IN STAR TREK SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED.
That was, bad.
posted by Mezentian at 2:13 AM on September 4, 2013

"Commonly misconstrued as a vivacious summer "party anthem," there's something insidious going on in Miley's big hit.

See, the song isn't happy.

It's a song about being stuck in a cycle, and being unable to leave. The key line isn't "we won't stop" or "don't stop," it's "we can't stop." "
posted by dragonsi55 at 4:23 AM on September 4, 2013

"She was going too far. She's trying to twerk, but don't know how to twerk." : Bounce Queen Big Freedia Slams Miley Cyrus' Twerking
posted by flapjax at midnite at 10:59 PM on September 4, 2013

So, this is the slut-shaming thread?

I thought it was the horrible performance shaming thread?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 8:19 AM on September 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

"Captain Kirk... what is this thing you call 'twerk?' Please... show me..."
posted by zaelic at 5:50 AM on September 6, 2013

If Miley Cyrus or anyone else wants to shake their booty, more power to 'em.
posted by zippy at 6:36 PM on September 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

But, if you must Twerk, Twerk safely.
Like, not in front of a door, where you are between the door and candles, where someone might come in.

Only you can prevent Twerking combustion.
posted by Mezentian at 12:48 AM on September 7, 2013