He's got 99 Jobs (but Steve ain't one)
September 11, 2013 7:31 PM   Subscribe

Jason Statham (previously) has many, many jobs to do.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI (16 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
 
Also no Bob Hope or Johnny Cash. :(
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 7:38 PM on September 11, 2013


I think he needs to update his resume.
posted by arcticseal at 7:48 PM on September 11, 2013


Wasn't Statham discovered by Guy Richie selling jewelry on the street?

That's a job.
posted by The Whelk at 8:10 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wasn't Statham discovered by Guy Richie selling jewelry on the street?

The story I heard (I don't know if it's true) is that he (Statham) would buy a bunch of cheap costume jewellery, then hang around in alleyways near high end jewellery stores. Since Statham is a somewhat shady looking fellow, people would assume that the jewellery was stolen from the nearby store, and that they were getting a bargain. If any do-gooders called the cops, he'd just show the legitimate receipts, and go back to his business (or maybe get pushed on to a different alley).

If anyone knows this story to be false, please don't tell me, because I much prefer living in a world where this actually happened.
posted by GrumpyDan at 8:15 PM on September 11, 2013 [17 favorites]


agreed, that's a much better story.
posted by The Whelk at 8:16 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


I wish I were on Statham's To-Do list...

Oh, wait. that's not what this post is about, is it?
posted by hippybear at 9:26 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


"I think he needs to update his resume."

That would be quite a job in itself.
posted by Kevin Street at 9:30 PM on September 11, 2013


Here's the Statham jewellery "scammer" background story (search for "beemer" to get to the right place)

I remember these auction events in London as a kid - most common around the Christmas and New Year's shopping season. They'd rent some empty storefront and be auctioning little bundles of items in plastic bags.... not just jewellery... perfumes, watches, electronics... anything cheap that they could convince the excited crowd might be a quality product worth ££££ going for an amazing bargain price without ever actually stating for fact that it was really worth that....
posted by Bwithh at 9:38 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Shouldn't that be "jub". At least that what I hear.

;-)
posted by humboldt32 at 12:54 AM on September 12, 2013


I think its time to call a moratorium on Supercuts, Oral Histories, and Long Reads as internet memes. They're all played out.

But, Jasan Stratham has one true job, and that's holding on to Rosie....

Daily Mail Rosie Huntington-Whitely on break from long term boyfriend
posted by C.A.S. at 1:19 AM on September 12, 2013


I like how his voice merely suggests an American accent in certain films, rather than committing to it. Maybe they should just call all his characters 'Jason Statham' and have done with it, to clear up any residual confusion.
posted by pipeski at 4:25 AM on September 12, 2013


Wasn't Statham discovered by Guy Richie selling jewelry on the street?

Well while modelling for French Connection... also a job

Have to admire the Stath for watching some divers when he younger and then thinking 'I'll have a go at that' and ending up in the British squad.
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 6:55 AM on September 12, 2013


"Statham’s fully in character now: “Right, forget 500 pounds, and 450 would be cheap. If I said 300, you’d be stealing the bugger, and at 250 I’ll have you shouting ‘Bull, beef, and carrots, the man’s gone barmy?’ Forget 100 pounds, forget 50, forget 40, forget 30. Should I keep going, Miss? Yes? That’s what she said last night. Never mind a tenner, never no fiver . . ."

Statham: a better actor in text than in person?
posted by forgetful snow at 7:13 AM on September 12, 2013


Maybe they should just call all his characters 'Jason Statham' and have done with it, to clear up any residual confusion.

In all fairness I have seen pretty much all of his movies and couldn't name more than maybe 2 of the characters because to me he's "Jason Statham" in everything.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 8:17 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Don't forget Statham's most glamorous gig: dating Cordelia Chase in The Expendables!
posted by nicebookrack at 8:28 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Plus a bordering on self-parody performance in Seven Psychopaths.
posted by The Whelk at 8:35 AM on September 12, 2013


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