You only get one shot, do not miss your chance
September 22, 2013 6:52 PM   Subscribe

Team Remington has won the 70th Annual One Shot Antelope Hunt in Lander, Wyoming. Team Remington defeated several other teams including Team Wyoming which lost after former Vice President Dick Cheney missed both his chosen Antelope and his fellow hunters. The annual day long hunt consists of three man teams who take turns attempting to kill a buck pronghorn antelope with a single shot. The winning team is the first to return with all three having made a successful single shot kill. The pronghorn, although not actually an antelope, is a small ruminant approximately 3 feet tall, and holds the distinction as the world's second fastest land animal, capable of running for extended distances at speeds over 50mph.

Following a template established in 1946, hunters gather in Lander, Wyoming prepare their riffles and participate in shooting contests followed by a traditional feast, where the "Legend of the Hunt" is recounted by the local Shoshone Indian chief. Following the contest a victory banquet is held where hunters talk of their success or failure.

Past hunts included cosmonauts vs. astronauts, General Norman Schwarzkopf, Chuck Yeager, Roy Rogers and Steve Allen. Those who miss are forced to wear lipstick and a dress and "Dance with the Squaws."
posted by humanfont (44 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
as the world's second fastest land animal

I now feel very strongly that participants must be dressed as cheetahs in order to compete.
posted by elizardbits at 6:56 PM on September 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


I will listen to any hunt failure story for $50,000! Call me up, Dick!
posted by cjorgensen at 7:00 PM on September 22, 2013


What if you *wound* the animal? This sounds out of touch with the sportsmanship I grew up with.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:12 PM on September 22, 2013 [2 favorites]


humanfont: "Those who miss are forced to wear lipstick and a dress and "Dance with the Squaws.""

Oh, what delightful old timey racism.
posted by Apropos of Something at 7:37 PM on September 22, 2013 [21 favorites]


What if you *wound* the animal? This sounds out of touch with the sportsmanship I grew up with.

A gang of privileged white assholes blasting the life out of wild animals for fun and profit (whether they accomplish their goal with a single shot or not) while co-opting the local native community to lend some sort of legitimacy to the sad spectacle doesn't seem like any kind of sportsmanship to me and it strikes me as a particularly flaccid sort of manliness as well.
posted by islander at 7:42 PM on September 22, 2013 [17 favorites]


This is, like... normal pronghorn hunting. It's always "you only get one shot, do not miss your chance" because the whole herd will take off like rockets if they're even remotely spooked and you're hunting them from waaay further away than deer.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:43 PM on September 22, 2013 [6 favorites]


I mean, obviously the weird shitty trappings of the event aren't like normal pronghorn hunting. But the whole one shot thing is.
posted by jason_steakums at 7:44 PM on September 22, 2013 [2 favorites]


This is how our rich and powerful citizens choose to spend their time. Killing things.
posted by JHarris at 7:48 PM on September 22, 2013 [6 favorites]


The history and context here is equal parts gross and interesting. Thanks for posting.

Handsome little animal, though. (gotta say, my first instinct isn't to try and make it die.)
posted by postcommunism at 7:55 PM on September 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


Those who miss are forced to wear lipstick and a dress and "Dance with the Squaws.

Oh, what delightful old timey racism -- Apropos of Something

And don't forget the sexism! Because of course it is embarrassing for a man to dress up as/act like a woman.
posted by bfootdav at 8:03 PM on September 22, 2013 [12 favorites]


What a fascinating animal. Let's kill it!
posted by brundlefly at 8:33 PM on September 22, 2013 [5 favorites]


Agreed misogynistic and racist. Hunters are also given "indian names" and become "blood brothers" with one of the local tribes. This all happens in 2013.
posted by humanfont at 8:50 PM on September 22, 2013 [5 favorites]


Pronghorns, man...they're fast, yeah. You know the videos of the cheetah, and if it doesn't get the prey on the first spurt of speed, try again later? Pronghorns are nearly that fast - on the open range there's so little *stuff* that they seem even faster - but they can run like that to the horizon.
I've only tried to get pictures of them once. I merely hit the brakes and they were out of sight.
posted by notsnot at 8:50 PM on September 22, 2013


They also amusingly, for a fast, light, relatively high-jumping animal, choose to cross *under* fences almost every time.
posted by jason_steakums at 8:59 PM on September 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hunters are also given "indian names" and become "blood brothers" with one of the local tribes.

Hmm. I suppose the whole affair can be considered a childhood fantasy kind of thing. Except these are powerful people enacting these cartoon cowboy adventures. And, of course, killing an animal. It's all very Lord of the Flies-ish.
posted by JHarris at 9:49 PM on September 22, 2013


This is how our rich and powerful citizens choose to spend their time. Killing things.
posted by JHarris at 7:48 PM on September 22 [1 favorite +] [!]


To be fair, it's how a good number of poor people spend their time too. The difference is, some of these rich people have recently retired from killing people. Maybe they're just out to tackle some more challenging fare...
posted by klanawa at 10:11 PM on September 22, 2013 [2 favorites]


Hunters are also given "indian names" and become "blood brothers" with one of the local tribes.

Hmm. I suppose the whole affair can be considered a childhood fantasy kind of thing. Except these are powerful people enacting these cartoon cowboy adventures. And, of course, killing an animal. It's all very Lord of the Flies-ish.

There can be some positive outcomes from this, though. It is in its own way a traditional ritual practice to aid in seeing the world from a different perspective than their own (however ham-handedly interpreted it may be). For example, during the few years I was a Boy Scout, there were a few Native Americans who would come out with us during extended outings and teach the kids all sorts of things about living in the natural world, and by using this kind of "play-acting ritual," where we were, in some small way, given a name and role outside of the one back home, it made us more open to experiencing nature in a different context, and learning and appreciating so much more because of it.

On one hand, it absolutely could be seen as some entitled, racist appropriation of a culture. On the other hand, that little bit of playacting opened up a greater appreciation of another culture, and with that knowledge, opened the door at an early age to analysis and criticism of my own culture's views and practices.

So I guess I'm making a bit of a baby/bathwater argument here.
posted by chambers at 10:14 PM on September 22, 2013


Only interested if they put some pronghorns on old Dick and let him loose.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:43 PM on September 22, 2013 [2 favorites]


The clear takeaway from these antelope shooting incidents is that some of the antelope should always be armed.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:32 PM on September 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


There can be some positive outcomes from this, though. It is in its own way a traditional ritual practice to aid in seeing the world from a different perspective than their own (however ham-handedly interpreted it may be).

But when you're talking about "blood brothers," it's not really a different perspective, it's cultural tourism at best, and utilizing other cultures to further your own sense of superiority at worst.
posted by JHarris at 1:26 AM on September 23, 2013


That linked article from 1946 is incredible.
Gubernatorial chests and tummies are then bared for the anointment of sacred herb juices, the Indian dance farewell, the hunters depart -- everybody feels good and is ready for the big day.
P.S. Governor Hunt [WY] is reported to be ticklish in his midriff -- so he may put on an unscheduled and impromptu dance while being anointed.
posted by spamandkimchi at 2:15 AM on September 23, 2013


Ahhh, the outrage that antelope are hunted which shws a lack of knowledge about management of wildlife in our country from folks who mostly I suspect live in the city.
posted by OhSusannah at 3:09 AM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Two's pussy.
posted by hwestiii at 3:14 AM on September 23, 2013


I bet Cheney didn't put on lipstick, etc. That crap is for the peons.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:46 AM on September 23, 2013


The pronghorn is only the second fastest land animal on earth, but the fastest in the entirety of North America. Why would a grazing herd animal evolve to run so fast? It only needs to be faster than what eats it on the slightly-better-than average.

http://phenomena.nationalgeographic.com/2013/01/08/did-false-cheetahs-give-pronghorn-a-need-for-speed/

Pronghorns are relicts from the Pleistocene extinction, and their predators didn't make it through the bottleneck, which maybe is sad? No super fast big cat for the Americas.
posted by Made of Star Stuff at 4:02 AM on September 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


"Ahhh, the outrage that antelope are hunted which shws a lack of knowledge about management of wildlife in our country from folks who mostly I suspect live in the city."
posted by OhSusannah

No one is concerned about the careful, planned culling of a species for its own survival. Turning it into a bizarre culture-appropriating blood-sport and awarding medals to the winners, and feminizing the losers as some sort of punishment is what we are concerned about.

Also, I bet they secretly love wearing the dress.
posted by marienbad at 4:25 AM on September 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


(n.b. I used to live in Mortlake nr Richmod Park in London, so am well aware of deer culling)
posted by marienbad at 4:25 AM on September 23, 2013


"Ahhh, the outrage that antelope are hunted which shws a lack of knowledge about management of wildlife in our country from folks who mostly I suspect live in the city."

Yeah I'm not super concerned with the hunting aspect so much as I'm appalled by the racism and sexism casually sported and promoted by leaders of politics and industry.
posted by jetlagaddict at 4:59 AM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


The rate of biotechnology advances being what it is, we can't be that far off from the capability to create innately neuter animals that stand even odds of killing an armed human out in the wild. Given the option, though, I strongly suspect none of the bored and wealthy would opt for that sort of hunt. It's for that reason - and rather less any ethical considerations - that this whole thing comes off as a sickening exercise in cowardice.

Maybe animals really are just organic robots and killing them is ethically "meh," maybe not. But even within that context a denial-rooted exercise in killing with impunity is fucking disgusting.
posted by Ryvar at 8:53 AM on September 23, 2013


I do like the charming idea expressed above, implying that hunters are effective managers of game populations. I say charming, because this notion doesn't come into play anywhere I've seen it in action. My only example, though is: the number of tags actually filled every year is a bare fraction of those bought. I'm talking only about deer population in the Sierras, the California Coast range, and the Sysikiyous. Going after other animals is a different thing, and I don't know about that, but my notion is that habitat encroachment and predator controls affect the antelope population (each in its own way) more than hunters do.

Hunters come in several flavors, though. I respect a couple of versions, but the rest are just assholes with guns who want to kill something without having to risk their own hides to do it. They are pathetic, and I'm sure the Cosmic Muffin will have a special place reserved for them when its time for them to shuffle off to that big game preserve in the sky.

This article actually covers a fair spectrum of the assholes I view with disgust. Not only do they transcend my personal values regarding the taking a life (any life), but they drift into areas that scream out their hubris: anything, anything, that comes to their minds is permitted; let the little folks worship them. Or eat cake. Or fuck off and die.
posted by mule98J at 9:05 AM on September 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


Hunters come in several flavors, though. I respect a couple of versions, but the rest are just assholes with guns who want to kill something without having to risk their own hides to do it.

And the version that just buys into a manufactured lifestyle and the whole industry that caters to that, talking a great game about the ethics and ecological responsibility of hunting and then walking the exact opposite direction when they're out in the field, because they really only care about the image and having their little dudebro hunting party - which is reason number one that I stopped hunting despite being raised with it and totally okay with it when it's done ethically and responsibly. No more drunken idiots in pricey elaborate gear road hunting and sending bullets whizzing over my head for me, thanks, no more dealing with irresponsible hobbyists wounding animals and being too lazy to track and humanely finish them. It's become a culture of hypocrisy, far too many otherwise responsible hunters won't say word one about the rot publicly, despite having personal disdain for it, because they find the numbers the idiot crowd brings to the table politically useful to block any bills on hunting and gun law no matter how much they'd actually benefit everyone (hello drunk carry laws).
posted by jason_steakums at 10:18 AM on September 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Kirth Gerson: "I bet Cheney didn't put on lipstick, etc"

No, but his lips where red nevertheless.

Reddened by the blood squirting from the still beating antelope hearts he devoured one by one as they were offered to him by the other hunters in the group.
posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:21 AM on September 23, 2013


bfootdav: "Those who miss are forced to wear lipstick and a dress and "Dance with the Squaws....

And don't forget the sexism! Because of course it is embarrassing for a man to dress up as/act like a woman.
"

It is, if they don't like to do that, much the same as forcing a TG woman to wear men's clothing.
posted by IAmBroom at 11:55 AM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Anyone who buys a hunting/fishing license or bird/fish stamp contributes to the management of wild life whether they are successful or not. All gun, ammo and related purchases have an excise tax that funds all wildlife management and preservation activities. The same is true of fishing related purchases. The money realized this way is not just a contributing factor, it is the total funding for such activities. So silly and racist rituals aside, if you don't contribute in this way you don't contribute AT ALL to wild life preservation. A concerned individual can buy hunting/fishing licenses or the stamps without having the intention of filling the tags, some do.
posted by shnarg at 12:24 PM on September 23, 2013


shnarg: " if you don't contribute in this way you don't contribute AT ALL to wild life preservation. "

Because there's only one possible way in the world to further the cause of wildlife preservation. Right.
posted by IAmBroom at 1:19 PM on September 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Ahhh, the outrage that antelope are hunted which shws a lack of knowledge about management of wildlife in our country from folks who mostly I suspect live in the city.

Oh, for crump's sake. I DO NOT live in the city, and I DO disapprove of this. Because this isn't culling, this is a hunting competition full of bizarre faux-indian trappings run for rich folk. It's glamorizing it. And whether I live in NEW YORK CITY?! or Timbuktu, I can still express sorrow when something is killed, for whatever reason, even a sadly necessary one.
posted by JHarris at 1:31 PM on September 23, 2013 [4 favorites]


My point is that any other contribution is advisory at best. The methods I iterated are the only way to contribute directly to those activities in the US.
posted by shnarg at 2:16 PM on September 23, 2013


So silly and racist rituals aside, if you don't contribute in this way you don't contribute AT ALL to wild life preservation.

As it turns out, you're wrong, mostly by being overbroad. Bats are wildlife, for instance, as are whales and numerous birds. If you're saying that all conservation funding for game animals comes from hunting & fishing licenses, you might be on the mark. I think it's entirely possible that you're mistaken about that, too, but licenses probably do provide the bulk of conservation funding for those animals.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 3:59 PM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Excluding marine mammals I'm absolutely right. A national wildlife preserve protects all the living things (animal and vegetable) within it and they are totally funded from the sources I mentioned. As does the protection of game animals, they are part of the ecology and all in the chain benefit from their vitality.
posted by shnarg at 6:34 PM on September 23, 2013


I'm extremely skeptical that this obscure bit of Americana where at most a dozen hunters compete to kill a handful of animals has any impact on management of the pronghorn population and their range. That being said, I expect that there is a fairly significant local impact to the local human communities.
posted by humanfont at 7:02 PM on September 23, 2013


It may only have a slight effect on an animal population. But it does have an indirect effect, for reasons I mentioned above -- it's glamorization, it's culturally insensitive, and it's cruel to an individual animal, because death is a cruelty. It is interesting to hear about, and thank you for posting about it, but I would shed no tears if this thing ceased operation.
posted by JHarris at 7:12 PM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


a ... flaccid sort of manliness...
Love the phrase, islander.

Antelope are intensely curious and will circle 'round and peep over a rise to watch me when I'm out riding my horse in the desert. People who bow hunt antelope have my complete admiration. It takes patience, stealth, quiet, and accuracy to bag an antelope with a bow.

Hunters who chase antelope with a 4-wheeler until they're exhausted then shot them? They can rot in hell.
posted by BlueHorse at 7:53 PM on September 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


shnarg: "My point is that any other contribution is advisory at best."

You're still wrong. Leaving a salt lick out for deer is not advisory. Leaving a section of land forested is not advisory. Culling invasive plant species is not advisory. The list goes on.

shnarg: "Excluding marine mammals I'm absolutely right. "

Not clear on why you think "bats" and "numerous birds" are marine mammals... but that's in line with your other assumptions about wildlife preservation.
posted by IAmBroom at 9:27 AM on September 24, 2013


Pronghorn are beautiful creatures, which by every inch of the imagination, must have taken the wrong turn and completely missed the exit for Africa. They have the form and appearance of African savannah creatures, virtually unlike any other North American creature. I remember as a child being bewildered by the fact that such animals lived in the United States and had to wait until a year ago to see my first living pronghorn on a trip into Montana and Wyoming. When driving down the road, they begin to appear off the sides of the road, often silhouetted on the crest of an adjacent hill.

It was in Yellowstone where I was able to capture my first close up photo of one, as we were leaving the park and magic hour had descended. We had driven through the buffalo herd in Lamar Valley and with great regret watched the golden hued countryside slip by the windows. My camera, which I had clutched to my eye for much of the drive, sat on the seat next to me. Why? There was heavy road equipment just ahead and I figured the likelihood of an animal being close to such loud noise and racket was slim.

It was of course then that we saw the pronghorn standing just a few dozen feet from the road and out of surprise and panic I fumbled at my camera to try and get just one good photograph of the elegant creature. Rushed by the press of traffic behind us and the need to make our destination by night fall, stopping was not an option, and so I squinted into my viewfinder while at the same time slowly turned in my seat to compensate as our car moved past and away from the pronghorn. I knew I only had one shot, two at best. CLICK! CLICK!

They aren't perfect, but I shall cherish them.
posted by Atreides at 10:22 AM on September 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


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