This game sucks
September 22, 2013 10:53 PM   Subscribe

Robot Vacuum Simulator 2013 is a groundbreaking simulator taking place in the incredible world of Robot Vacuum cleaners, with additional 2-player duel mode

From the makers of Robot Vacuum Simulator 2012
posted by Blazecock Pileon (19 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
get on my level, noob scum

posted by boo_radley at 11:11 PM on September 22, 2013

A review of the 2012 game:

When i sat down on my computer today I did not expect to get my life turned up-side down, especially not by a game. This game got recommended to me by a dear friend, who said it was something witch had to be played. Ok, i thought to myself, this is probably just a standard Robot vacuum simulator game. I was wrong. I have now spent hours playing this game, I could simply not just break the level of immersion, i was really there, I was that vacuum cleaner, cleaning the living room, bedroom and kitchen! This is something more than a game, this is an experience. This "game" (I prefer to call it interactive art) brought out unimaginable levels of creativity and existentialism in me I never thought I had. What if we were all vacuum cleaner, cleaning the houses we had gotten, but we had the brain of a human? what if all life really is comes down to this, we go around cleaning up after our previous life, correcting mistakes, and when we die we get to do it all over again, correcting the mistakes we made on that clean-up round? To get the full experience of this drug of a game, you will have to play it, dont miss out on this opportunity of self-realization.
posted by el io at 11:25 PM on September 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

jumped the shark imho
posted by TwelveTwo at 12:04 AM on September 23, 2013

No cats?
posted by D.C. at 12:31 AM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

This is truly the most exciting janitorially-oriented game to come along since Viscera Cleanup Detail.
posted by neckro23 at 1:05 AM on September 23, 2013 [11 favorites]

dubstep version
posted by Philosopher Dirtbike at 1:15 AM on September 23, 2013

Well, I was excited to see this, and then neckro23's link just blew my mind. I'm going to go outside for a while.
posted by Literaryhero at 1:23 AM on September 23, 2013

Viscera Cleanup Detail.

Disaster! An alien invasion and subsequent infestation have decimated this facility. Many lives were lost, the facility was ruined and the aliens were unstoppable. All hope was lost until one survivor found the courage to fight back and put the aliens in their place!
It was a long and horrific battle as the survivor dueled with all manner of horrific life-forms and alien mutations, but our hero won out in the end and destroyed the alien menace! Humanity was saved!

Unfortunately, the alien infestation and the heroic efforts of the courageous survivors have left rather a mess thoughout the facility. As the janitor, it is your duty to get this place cleaned up.

I've been waiting for this game my whole life. Or at least, I want a game where you get to know the family of the DOOM monster the hero just killed. But this is a good start.
posted by EnterTheStory at 3:00 AM on September 23, 2013

Finally! A relevant place to drop this link.
posted by emptythought at 3:09 AM on September 23, 2013 [4 favorites]

Add in some people with brooms and it would make a fine curling simulator.
posted by chavenet at 4:37 AM on September 23, 2013

Love the tags - this is going to look weird in someones Google porn search results.
posted by marienbad at 4:53 AM on September 23, 2013 [2 favorites]

They were really thinking, "Boy, if I could get the monotony of every day life and somehow automate it, and then take that automation and somehow put it in a video game, and then unautomate it, that is the golden dream right there, that is the Holy Grail of video gaming."
posted by swift at 5:57 AM on September 23, 2013 [5 favorites]

swift - this would be Monster Hunter Tri (IIRC). My wife got me this game and after being forced to experience a minigame wherein a had to control turning meat over a spit in order to get it to the exact doneness point and a number of other minigames, I decided that the class rather than the specifics of the game and subgames were indistinguishable from my daily life and therefore were antithetical to the point of playing a game.
posted by plinth at 7:01 AM on September 23, 2013

The website is maddeningly light on details. Does it simulate Neato-style laser-guided robots as well as dumb Roomba-style ones? Configurable brush styles? Can you program the navigation routines yourself? Does it hump furniture appropriately? Can you add pets that ride on top?
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:03 AM on September 23, 2013 [1 favorite]

Flight simulators never made me wish I were a pilot, but this? This makes me wish I were a robot vacuum. VROOOOOM
posted by asperity at 7:50 AM on September 23, 2013

Oh damn it. I've been working on a robot vacuum action/stealth game for over a year now (I'm being completely serious) and I even demoed it with dubstep music behind it last year at a talk I gave about why musicians shouldn't ever try to become programmers or artists

I feel so scooped
posted by jake at 8:33 AM on September 23, 2013

Two words and a disclaimer that I am not, repeat not, responsible for the earworm you're about to get: Katamari Damacy.
posted by seyirci at 9:16 AM on September 23, 2013

Oh damn it. I've been working on a robot vacuum action/stealth game for over a year now

There is no way this market is saturated yet. Keep hope alive!
posted by asperity at 9:39 AM on September 23, 2013

So, I take it this game is to video games what the amazon three wolf t-shirt is to apparel?
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 6:57 PM on September 23, 2013

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