Hello yes this is a bird
September 26, 2013 11:18 AM   Subscribe

 
Oh I'm sorry that is too LOGIC for me
posted by scratch at 11:22 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


This is totally flightest. Bird needs to check their privelige.
posted by srboisvert at 11:22 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


GIVE ME A BREAD
posted by The Whelk at 11:23 AM on September 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


I can't wait to find out what product this is promoting in 2 years.
posted by borkencode at 11:23 AM on September 26, 2013 [32 favorites]


srboisvert: "This is totally flightest. Bird needs to check their privelige."

Bird already have answer:

I am the master of (1) the air (2) the ground (and 3) the sea (with a boat) i am superior. And the best. #itNotBigotryIfIsTrue

posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:24 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


I can't wait to find out what product this is promoting in 2 years.

bird product so best product it is LOGIC #true
posted by The Whelk at 11:25 AM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


NO KFC IS NOT MADE BIRD. FREE MARKET WOULD NEVER LET THAT HAPPEN.

I've had that conversation on so many occasions. unfortunately.
posted by kaibutsu at 11:25 AM on September 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


Is win! Someone set us up the medicine drug. Overdose!
posted by blue_beetle at 11:25 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


I can't wait to find out what product this is promoting in 2 years.

Bread obvs
posted by 2bucksplus at 11:26 AM on September 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


two legs bad four legs good.
posted by jquinby at 11:29 AM on September 26, 2013


Wings best
posted by The Whelk at 11:31 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


i am not think I am evolutioned to eat worm. I have destiny to eat pancake.
posted by jinjo at 11:32 AM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


Is it birdist to flip someone the bird?
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:32 AM on September 26, 2013


This twitter is the best twitter and I will accept no substitutes and I don't even care if it's a real bird or a human bird or a robot bird or a human robot bird.

Also I like RealCarrotFacts and I don't care if it's a real carrot or not.
posted by elizardbits at 11:34 AM on September 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


hot chocolate is BAD IDEA :((((((((
The bird lies; hot chocolate is always a good idea.


elizardbits: I had to go look up RealCarrotFacts and found the more flesh color a carrot is , the more likely it is your fingers which could have saved me so much confusion and pain if I'd known this before!
posted by RainyJay at 11:41 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


No, bats can not fly. Bats just not very good at falling.

Gold.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:41 AM on September 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


I found this the other day and it felt like I had hit the jackpot of humor.

My fave: "Hello squirrel. Is it called squirrel feeder? No. bye."
posted by michellenoel at 11:45 AM on September 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


Birds are really weird creatures, if you think about it. (Not just the flying thing)
posted by 2bucksplus at 11:45 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


uhm so why is it call a ""MURDER"" when it is just a group of crows? INNOCENT BEFORE PROVEN HABEAS CORPUS. #crowbono
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 11:47 AM on September 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


"im going to popsiscal my head" heh
posted by mullacc at 11:50 AM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


This ones a good one.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 11:52 AM on September 26, 2013


I can't wait to find out what product this is promoting in 2 years.

"I could live in a costco"
10:20 PM - 24 Sep 13
posted by Dasein at 11:54 AM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


They're TWEETS! Get it?

TWEETS!
posted by goethean at 11:57 AM on September 26, 2013 [17 favorites]


Yes but bird also mentions Ikea at least once, and muffins, pancakes, and bread quite often.

It could be a big-box/baker's consortium I guess.
posted by elizardbits at 11:58 AM on September 26, 2013


dear science: how is it be that a bird and a pillow both have feather?? Where is your darwin now???? #areyouafraidofthetruth????

posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:59 AM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Bird now have corporate sponsorship: BREAD ®©™. "You put it in your mouth and you eat it."

I would buy the hell out of that t-shirt.
posted by WidgetAlley at 11:59 AM on September 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


In high school, I was an inside player in the avian economic system. This crow and I had an arrangement - food for shiny things. Sometimes when I would give him too many berries when he sat on my shoulder, he would put some in my ear. Whether that was an act of trust that I would hold onto them for me, or that he saw my ear as a some other mouth to feed, I can't say.

But I can say that he never pooped on me during our business meetings, and I think that is a sound foundation for any economic system.

A previous comment concerning that crow can be found here
posted by chambers at 12:00 PM on September 26, 2013 [8 favorites]


I got lost in a sweater

we're all in this together, Bird
posted by jetlagaddict at 12:01 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Enlightened Birdmen
posted by Ad hominem at 12:02 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Though obviously he's never been introduced to President Bird: he is the president.
posted by jetlagaddict at 12:03 PM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


uhm so why is it call a ""MURDER"" when it is just a group of crows? INNOCENT BEFORE PROVEN HABEAS CORPUS. #crowbono

That should have been HABEAS CORVUS.
posted by dhens at 12:08 PM on September 26, 2013 [22 favorites]


I am not sure that bird has the necessary gravitas for the Presidency.
posted by elizardbits at 12:09 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Bird is tiny dinosaur.
Dinosaur kill us all.
Run from bird.
BURMA SHAVE.
posted by blue_beetle at 12:11 PM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Poom!

Poom! beats bird.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:17 PM on September 26, 2013


Well, mostly Poom! wins.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:19 PM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


BIRD NEEDS PAPER MUNEY, HUNNY
posted by Drexen at 12:29 PM on September 26, 2013


Though obviously he's never been introduced to President Bird: he is the president.

Oh god I love President Bird so much and the inspiration for President Bird is like freebasing adorableness.
posted by jason_steakums at 12:30 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


All the stuff in this vein reminds me of Graham Roumieu's In Me Own Words, Me Write Book, and I Not Dead. Which are great.
posted by that's candlepin at 12:43 PM on September 26, 2013


MetaFilter: You put it in your mouth and you eat it.
posted by brundlefly at 12:46 PM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


At this point, I feel these posts should have a SLWT note.

Single Link Weird Twitter
posted by Chrysostom at 12:48 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


"more like opposable dumbs"

(yes I scrolled back to July and when I get home from work I will scroll back even farther)
posted by headnsouth at 12:56 PM on September 26, 2013


Mortal enemy of Dog, no doubt.
posted by jbickers at 1:00 PM on September 26, 2013


Oh this will so totally turn out to be written by a human and disappoint us all again.
posted by JHarris at 1:01 PM on September 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


This reminds me of the one time we had to make a powerpoint presentation that was related to a cause but they gave us weird requirements halfway through so I made this presentation that was half about Some Important Topic Of Relevance (I was like 15 at the time) and then there was a slide in the middle that was a clipart of bread that just said BREAD!!!

The students in that class the next year found it on the computer and were apparently entertained
posted by NoraReed at 1:05 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also, please no one tell Sockington about this. I doubt it would turn out well, unless maybe there were a pane of Twitter-glass between them. Then it might be fun to watch.
posted by JHarris at 1:06 PM on September 26, 2013


This reminds me of the one time we had to make a powerpoint presentation that was related to a cause but they gave us weird requirements halfway through....

Wow, most schools don't do that good of a job at teaching you to function in the modern corporate workplace.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 1:08 PM on September 26, 2013 [9 favorites]


Every bird on my street, and there are many, would have this exact twitter account if it had a twitter account. I know this to be true.

One thing I like to do when I'm walking down my street and there are a lot of birds is imagine that they're singing "Get Low" by Lil' Jon except instead of "skeet skeet" they're saying "tweet tweet".
posted by capricorn at 1:10 PM on September 26, 2013


"You might also want to follow:
Horse ebooks @Horse_ebooks"
posted by dhartung at 1:17 PM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


why is ebooks horse should always be bird ebook for good bird #bird
posted by capricorn at 1:18 PM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


Someone invented the INTERNET so we could have this.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 1:19 PM on September 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


I guess Jonathan Franzen got over his objections to Twitter after all.
posted by Cash4Lead at 1:21 PM on September 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


For novelty Twitter accounts by birds, I prefer Street Crow.
Pry up flattened mouse. Car. Wait. Pry. Car. Wait. Pry pry. Car car car. Wait wait wait. Sigh
posted by egypturnash at 1:39 PM on September 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


I'm glad to see someone finally stand up for bird rights. Bird law in this country... it's not governed by reason.
posted by demonic winged headgear at 2:41 PM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


deal librels: if you so smart, how come it isn't all bread?????? your move obama.

Gold, Jerry.
posted by rocket88 at 2:49 PM on September 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


why not birds studies classes like if u agree #misaviary #LiberalArtsIsASham
posted by dialetheia at 4:15 PM on September 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hee!
posted by turbid dahlia at 4:33 PM on September 26, 2013


I have been following this twitter for some time. These are things my cockatiel would say!
posted by Calzephyr at 4:38 PM on September 26, 2013


This bird has been tweeting since 2011.
posted by pretentious illiterate at 8:57 PM on September 26, 2013


This is just sublime:

I am feel uncomfortable when we are not about me?
posted by jack_mo at 1:33 AM on September 27, 2013


I think if a chicken tweeted it would be something like

peck. scratch. crap on this thing. crap on that thing. run. stop. crap. crap. crap. #lavidaloca
posted by jquinby at 5:36 AM on September 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


i wonder what weard tweter would look like if it was 'curated' by out-of-shape upper-middle-class white people with glasses
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 2:45 PM on September 27, 2013


he sounds Angry. #RunPigs
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 10:28 PM on September 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


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