Your face might melt before the popsicle.
October 2, 2013 2:04 PM Subscribe
Dean Martin used to make a joke in his stage shows: "I don't drink anymore. I freeze it and eat it like a Popsicle". But how exactly does that work? It's not exactly as simple as whipping up some Koolaid, poring it in a mold and sticking it in the freezer. And though summer is over and autumn is here, that's no reason not to indulge in a Tequila Lime Margarita Pop or a Havana Mojito Popsicle. And if you're feeling really daring, how about some Absinthe Pops?
I am making all of these.
Well, not those absinthe ones.
And not all of them.
But weekend project! We are experiencing some summer-like heat, after all.
posted by darksong at 3:15 PM on October 2, 2013
Well, not those absinthe ones.
And not all of them.
But weekend project! We are experiencing some summer-like heat, after all.
posted by darksong at 3:15 PM on October 2, 2013
How could you not call it the absinthsicle?
posted by boo_radley at 3:32 PM on October 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by boo_radley at 3:32 PM on October 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
Soooo. . . a friend of mine, M, is a filmmaker, and he went on vacation a few years back to a remote location with his camera and his friend R, with the intention of making some short documentaries about the culture of this rural location.
So they are driving along and come to a small town and notice a sign in the window of the small drug store (the kind with a soda counter). The sign says "Beersicles," and M slams on the brakes and turns to R and says "I have gotta get a video of you eating a beersicle."
When they enter the drug store and ask the drug store clerk, the clerk informs them that beersicles have to be ordered a day ahead of time and a dozen at a time. Bummer! M has the brilliant idea at this point that the video shouldn't just be R eating one beersicle, but to see how drunk R gets after eating 4 dozen beersicles. The order is placed, M and R get a room, and they plan the film.
The next afternoon, M and R show up at the drugstore and the clerk pulls out the 4 dozen beersicles. Surprisingly, the beersicles turn out to be milky white in color. The clerk explains that since beer won't freeze by itself, they mix it with milk. At this point R tells M there is no way he is eating 48 beer/milk popsicles. No amount of persuading by M convinces R to go through with it. So M decides the only thing to do is eat the beersicles himself and have his friend film it.
So M sits at a table with the beersicles and starts to dive in. After the first one he says "that's not so bad." After 6 he is starting to not be so happy. He starts getting queasy, then outright nauseous, and he turns to R and says "you'd better get a bucket." Sure enough, after only a few more beersicles, he lunges for the bucket and barfs up a solid stream of milky white liquid.
According to M, he didn't get even a little bit drunk, and refused to eat any more beersicles. I frankly don't remember how many total he had - somewhere around 24 I think. I've seen the video, but I can't find it on his vimeo page - I have a feeling he doesn't want to make it public.
posted by ianhattwick at 4:23 PM on October 2, 2013 [6 favorites]
So they are driving along and come to a small town and notice a sign in the window of the small drug store (the kind with a soda counter). The sign says "Beersicles," and M slams on the brakes and turns to R and says "I have gotta get a video of you eating a beersicle."
When they enter the drug store and ask the drug store clerk, the clerk informs them that beersicles have to be ordered a day ahead of time and a dozen at a time. Bummer! M has the brilliant idea at this point that the video shouldn't just be R eating one beersicle, but to see how drunk R gets after eating 4 dozen beersicles. The order is placed, M and R get a room, and they plan the film.
The next afternoon, M and R show up at the drugstore and the clerk pulls out the 4 dozen beersicles. Surprisingly, the beersicles turn out to be milky white in color. The clerk explains that since beer won't freeze by itself, they mix it with milk. At this point R tells M there is no way he is eating 48 beer/milk popsicles. No amount of persuading by M convinces R to go through with it. So M decides the only thing to do is eat the beersicles himself and have his friend film it.
So M sits at a table with the beersicles and starts to dive in. After the first one he says "that's not so bad." After 6 he is starting to not be so happy. He starts getting queasy, then outright nauseous, and he turns to R and says "you'd better get a bucket." Sure enough, after only a few more beersicles, he lunges for the bucket and barfs up a solid stream of milky white liquid.
According to M, he didn't get even a little bit drunk, and refused to eat any more beersicles. I frankly don't remember how many total he had - somewhere around 24 I think. I've seen the video, but I can't find it on his vimeo page - I have a feeling he doesn't want to make it public.
posted by ianhattwick at 4:23 PM on October 2, 2013 [6 favorites]
On a hot hot day, there is nothing better than an alcopop / winecooler that has been supercooled below its freezing point, but has not frozen (due to the pressure seal and/or flawless glass surface).
The instant you open the bottle it starts rapidly solidifying in front of your eyes, within seconds the entire thing will be a solid crystalline lump. So that's how long you have to get as much down your throat before it all freezes solid and stops pouring.
At that point you can nolonger feel your throat. But it's a hot hot day and you're suddenly a whole lot cooler, so it's totally worth it. :)
posted by anonymisc at 4:34 PM on October 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
The instant you open the bottle it starts rapidly solidifying in front of your eyes, within seconds the entire thing will be a solid crystalline lump. So that's how long you have to get as much down your throat before it all freezes solid and stops pouring.
At that point you can nolonger feel your throat. But it's a hot hot day and you're suddenly a whole lot cooler, so it's totally worth it. :)
posted by anonymisc at 4:34 PM on October 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
Summer is not over
Summer is coming
Daylight saving in three days
Manna from heaven
posted by pjm at 4:47 PM on October 2, 2013
Summer is coming
Daylight saving in three days
Manna from heaven
posted by pjm at 4:47 PM on October 2, 2013
The mojito-pop has a 1:25 booze:mixer ratio, making it a whopping 1.6% alcohol. Ain't nobody gettin even a little loopy on that stuff.
posted by gregor-e at 4:48 PM on October 2, 2013
posted by gregor-e at 4:48 PM on October 2, 2013
I go just the opposite direction. Get some ice cream that is frozen as hard as a rock. Add a splash of whiskey. Mash together. If you get the proportions just right, the alcohol will serve as an antifreeze, and the temperature of the ice cream will actually go down, even though it is soft. Be careful of brain freeze.
posted by charlie don't surf at 4:53 PM on October 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by charlie don't surf at 4:53 PM on October 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
This is relevant to my interests.
posted by Jacqueline at 5:13 PM on October 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Jacqueline at 5:13 PM on October 2, 2013 [1 favorite]
You can also use bull semen dewars to make ice cubes out of pure vodka. They will melt fairly quickly in your glass, making it both colder and *more* alcoholic.
posted by poe at 5:25 PM on October 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by poe at 5:25 PM on October 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
According to M, he didn't get even a little bit drunk, and refused to eat any more beersicles.
Indeed, this is the problem with alcoholic popsicles - it's virtually impossible in my experience to get enough sweet, sweet alcohol in the little bastards to make it worth while eating them. Either you have a vaguely alcoholic flavoured popsicle, or you have a sludgy mess that - whilst delicious, and good enough to get a buzz on - is more like a slurpee than a popsicle. The closest I've been able to get is granita texture, and that was not particularly alcoholic.
Also, I dunno if it's just me or what I've made, but I've found alcohol tends to taste stronger like this, too.
posted by smoke at 5:45 PM on October 2, 2013
Indeed, this is the problem with alcoholic popsicles - it's virtually impossible in my experience to get enough sweet, sweet alcohol in the little bastards to make it worth while eating them. Either you have a vaguely alcoholic flavoured popsicle, or you have a sludgy mess that - whilst delicious, and good enough to get a buzz on - is more like a slurpee than a popsicle. The closest I've been able to get is granita texture, and that was not particularly alcoholic.
Also, I dunno if it's just me or what I've made, but I've found alcohol tends to taste stronger like this, too.
posted by smoke at 5:45 PM on October 2, 2013
Some years ago, I worked at Thule AB: on the west coast of Greenland, about 790 miles from the North Pole. We got almost everything shipped in once each summer, and so even though it was a very small base we had a very LARGE beer warehouse.
One awful day, the heater in that warehouse broke down --- and that was a major problem, because the ambient temperature was about minus 30 that day. Even though we all worked like dogs (it's an emergency: save the beer!), we still lost several pallets' worth to freezing: and when those bottles of beer froze, they just pooped their caps and the contents rose in tall sticks we called 'beer-sickles'..... Sort of a grow up version of Popsicles.
posted by easily confused at 5:59 PM on October 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
One awful day, the heater in that warehouse broke down --- and that was a major problem, because the ambient temperature was about minus 30 that day. Even though we all worked like dogs (it's an emergency: save the beer!), we still lost several pallets' worth to freezing: and when those bottles of beer froze, they just pooped their caps and the contents rose in tall sticks we called 'beer-sickles'..... Sort of a grow up version of Popsicles.
posted by easily confused at 5:59 PM on October 2, 2013 [2 favorites]
I found a really nice ice cream maker thrifting one day. Booze sorbet is the best.
posted by thylacine at 8:00 PM on October 2, 2013
posted by thylacine at 8:00 PM on October 2, 2013
bull semen dewars
I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how to parse this. I mean I know what bull semen is, I think. I know what Dewar's is, but together, and somehow using it to freeze vodka?
posted by Literaryhero at 10:59 PM on October 2, 2013
I'm sorry, but I'm not sure how to parse this. I mean I know what bull semen is, I think. I know what Dewar's is, but together, and somehow using it to freeze vodka?
posted by Literaryhero at 10:59 PM on October 2, 2013
anonymisc that sounds like a sure fire brain freeze recipe to me; how the heck do you avoid that horrible pain?
posted by Mitheral at 8:22 AM on October 3, 2013
posted by Mitheral at 8:22 AM on October 3, 2013
I'm not sure.
I can offer some guesses - it may be that it freezes solid and stops pouring so quickly that the pour isn't sustained long enough for the coldness to penetrate deeply? (Once it stops pouring, that's it, you're done until it melts, which happens very slowly over the next half hour). In my experience, regular frozen stuff doesn't give you brain-freeze on the first, second, or third mouthful; you've got to eat some first to cool your mouth before it becomes a risk.
But it might also be that drinking a liquid means it pours past the roof of your mouth in a way thermally different from swallowing a mush?
I haven't tried simply letting it fill my mouth and not swallowing it. And now I don't intend to :)
posted by anonymisc at 4:08 PM on October 3, 2013
I can offer some guesses - it may be that it freezes solid and stops pouring so quickly that the pour isn't sustained long enough for the coldness to penetrate deeply? (Once it stops pouring, that's it, you're done until it melts, which happens very slowly over the next half hour). In my experience, regular frozen stuff doesn't give you brain-freeze on the first, second, or third mouthful; you've got to eat some first to cool your mouth before it becomes a risk.
But it might also be that drinking a liquid means it pours past the roof of your mouth in a way thermally different from swallowing a mush?
I haven't tried simply letting it fill my mouth and not swallowing it. And now I don't intend to :)
posted by anonymisc at 4:08 PM on October 3, 2013
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posted by troika at 2:16 PM on October 2, 2013