Princess Diana of Themyscira

October 4, 2013 7:30 AM

Wonder Woman, a short by Rainfall Films.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (33 comments total)

Yessssssss. This is a trailer for an action film I want to see, dammit.
posted by rmd1023 at 7:46 AM on October 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

Any chance this is a trial balloon sort of thing? Because this is awesome, and they should feel awesome.
posted by jquinby at 7:51 AM on October 4, 2013

Yeah, this was pretty good. Probably-actually the best depection of female super heroes in live action that we're likely to see for a long time (and since this will never be a movie, *sads*).

That said, here's hoping for Guardians of the Galaxy.
posted by Poppa Bear at 8:11 AM on October 4, 2013

I want to know who would be the villain in the perfect Wonder Woman movie that everyone is desperate for (but doesn't ever seem to be in the works.) As much as I clamor for one, the baddie has to be just as great as Wonder Woman herself for it to live up to any hype. Who would it be? Ares? Kinda meh.

Give me Gina Torres for Wonder Woman or give me death
posted by Mizu at 8:12 AM on October 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

You know, I've said it before, since the WW canon is equal parts confusing and stupid, we should just drop it and do an Olympian riff - the threat are all the Olympian Gods returning to Earth to take back control.. Ares as a more subtle God Of War, whispering in the ears of world leader as the cold war threatens to turn hot (because in my perfect universe the WW movie is a 70s period piece, Diana herself is confused and troubled by the World Of Men and needs a smooth, wisecracking military liaison to guide her through it ..and Silver Swan is totally a Trojan horse gift given to the Soviet who want their OWN Paradise Island diplomatic contact, damnit.)
posted by The Whelk at 8:20 AM on October 4, 2013 [5 favorites]

I was kinda meh because watching Wonder Woman beat up thugs when she's normally a Superman class metahuman just seems kinda like she's slumming it. Yeah I know that Lynda Carter Wonder Woman wasn't nearly so powerful and that's the version of the character most people are familiar with but I want her to be basically Neo from the Matrix movies. Just give the project to the Wachowskis and Yuen Woo-Ping and let her kick immortal and metahuman ass.

Unfortunately for the most part her traditional rogue's gallery is garbage (Cheetah and Giganta being the most well known) so I think you'd definitely have to play up the Mythic Greek elements like the NU 52 reboot.

Oh and if you absolutely have to use Steve Trevor reverse the standard tropes and have Diana rescue him repeatedly.
posted by vuron at 8:21 AM on October 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

who would be the villain in the perfect Wonder Woman movie

Medusa.
posted by rocketman at 8:24 AM on October 4, 2013

Or Circe.
posted by rocketman at 8:25 AM on October 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

Circe is the one who makes Silver Swan for the Soviets!
posted by The Whelk at 8:28 AM on October 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yeah I know that Lynda Carter Wonder Woman wasn't nearly so powerful and that's the version of the character most people are familiar with...

Gail Simone, a writer of Wonder Woman, has an interesting theory which disagrees with that line of thought.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:30 AM on October 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

Oh, I'm sure a grimdark Zack Snyder style Wlnder Woman movie will happen someday, and I'll want no part of it.
posted by Artw at 8:36 AM on October 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Give me Gina Torres for Wonder Woman or give me death
posted by Mizu at 11:12 AM on October 4 [1 favorite −] Favorite added! [!]

Tumblr agrees with you.

And so do I!
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:41 AM on October 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

I actually like the grimdark WW that Azzarello is putting out but I wouldn't follow his plotlines. Basically merge the DCAU version of Diana with a more mythic focus and tone down some of the campier sci-fantasy elements (no invisible jet) and I think you'd have a good fit.

I really wouldn't mind if it's the new Xena in terms of avoiding having a superhero that is still emotionally dependent on a male hero (lesbian subtext or text is optional). Keep the Bruce/Diana and Clark/Diana shipping to the pages of Justice League please WB/DC.

But I'm afraid they'll go down the Bruce/Clark/Diana love triangle for a Justice League movie...
posted by vuron at 8:45 AM on October 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Wonder Woman beats up a bunch of SWAT guys who are just trying to end her hallucination-induced arson spree through downtown Los Angeles?
posted by under_petticoat_rule at 8:46 AM on October 4, 2013 [4 favorites]

Just do the DCAU thing and call it a day. No reason to fuck with perfection.
posted by mikelieman at 9:01 AM on October 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Everyone who wants to see a decent Wonder Woman movie should run (not walk) to the 2009 DC animated Wonder Woman movie (starring Keri Russell, Nathan Fillion and Rosario Dawson!), because it is beautiful and brilliant. I want to throw it in the face of everyone who says Wondie is "too difficult" to make it in a standalone film.
posted by fight or flight at 9:02 AM on October 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

The core problem of Wonder Woman as I see it is the nature of her core mission. Look at the basic idea: "Superhero Princess from Magical Girl Island Comes to Our World to Help." Okay, fine, good, my daughters would eat that up.

But why does she come to help? Why only her? Why only now? What makes Diana different?

In the original stories, from what I recall, she came as an emissary from Paradise Island to show the World of Men how things should be. She came to show us the way to a better future. Okay, right there we have a problem. She's literally preachy. A literal Amazon coming to America to kick ass, take names, and tell us we're doing it wrong and should do it her way instead? Yeah, that's gonna be popular with audiences. Most of us will grumble and wonder what nasty parts of her world she's choosing to ignore and what good in our world she's choosing not to see.

That's the story. Diana is sent from the Land of Amazons to the Man's World because there's some great cosmic hullaballoo about to hit. The Land of Amazons believes it will be fine, and the World of Men will be devastated. The Amazons don't particularly care, or consider it justice. Diana, ever the idealist, volunteers to go into the World of Men to prepare the blinded fools, to help them survive the transition.

She discovers that the World of Men isn't quite what she was told it was, some in the World of Men also saw the threat coming and made very different preparations, and that the Threat from Beyond or whatever the hell it is (Zeus passing a kidney stone, I don't know) doesn't work the way the Amazons or the, uh, "men-worlders" expected. Through her adventures and exploration, Diana becomes a part of both worlds, and has to protect them both, because it turns out that neither is truly ready. The Rage of the Gods is crashing down upon the world, and Diana's all we have.

Well, Diana and Etta Candy. WOO WOO!

Basic popcorn movie stuff.

(Please pardon the "what I'd do" derail.)
posted by Harvey Jerkwater at 9:13 AM on October 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

I'm with Vuron. Also, throwing a spear at a big thing while in Themyscira-vision and having it fall right over seemed sort of anti-climatic. I was really expecting her to come out of Themyscira-vision and stick it right into pistol boy's throat.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:13 AM on October 4, 2013

Mizu: "Give me Gina Torres for Wonder Woman or give me death"

Nice choice. But why not Rhona Mitra?
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:35 AM on October 4, 2013

we should just drop it and do an Olympian riff - the threat are all the Olympian Gods returning to Earth to take back control.. Ares as a more subtle God Of War

Am I reading a different Wonder Woman to the rest of you?
The current threat is the Olympian Gods. Ares is a more subtle God Of War.
posted by zoo at 9:37 AM on October 4, 2013

Here's The Brave and the Bold ironically embracing the old world Wonder Woman as seen through the eyes of an unlikable Steve Trevor.
posted by zoo at 9:54 AM on October 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

Because you know this is how Hollywood thinks:

Wonder Woman should be DCWarner's Thor ripoff: Themyscira is Asgard, Hippolyta is Odin, Ares is Loki, Diana has a bunch of hot Amazon sidekicks who help her fight mythological monsters, she has wacky fish-out-of-water adventures in America (with tame mocking of sexism), and saves the world from the scheme of Ares to kick off WW3. She reluctantly teams up with Ares in the sequel to defeat Medusa and the Titans.

Also, Superman should be DCWarner's Captain America ripoff.
posted by straight at 9:56 AM on October 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

Considering how surprisingly enjoyable Arrow is, I kinda wish DC would just cede the film biz to Marvel and concentrate on tv shows. Their upcoming Flash sounds good. And the Amazon pitch for a Wonder Woman series was pretty promising, too... though, like everything WW, it has stalled out for the moment.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:58 AM on October 4, 2013

Wonder Woman should be DCWarner's Thor ripoff:

Yes. All of this. I want Wonder Woman to be completely confused by everything in her blunt Yes-I-Am-A-Warrior-Princess way. (I also want it set in the 70s because of reasons)
posted by The Whelk at 10:00 AM on October 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

Well, that was pretty much awesome.

if you absolutely have to use Steve Trevor reverse the standard tropes and have Diana rescue him repeatedly.

That was Steve Trevor's whole schtick. He's a brave guy but he knows he's the weak one in their relationship and he's cool with that. He's all about masculinity not being threatened by the strength of women.

The Olympian Thor-esque mythological version of WW can make for an interesting story but Wonder Woman was originally primarily about weirding gender roles. She was an anti-patriarchy crusader before it was cool. Admittedly those old comics are a bit...odd (hey boys, why don't you try some submissive bondage, you'll like it) but there's room in the possibility space of the character to write a hardcore modern feminist movie that Hollywood would never, ever make.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:04 AM on October 4, 2013 [2 favorites]

(Now that I think about it, Chris Evans's portrayal of Captain America owes quite a bit to the way Christopher Reeves pushed his Superman's earnestness past corny into charming and inspiring.)
posted by straight at 10:05 AM on October 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

fight or flight: "Everyone who wants to see a decent Wonder Woman movie should run (not walk) to the 2009 DC animated Wonder Woman movie (starring Keri Russell, Nathan Fillion and Rosario Dawson!), because it is beautiful and brilliant. I want to throw it in the face of everyone who says Wondie is "too difficult" to make it in a standalone film."

YES. That was AWESOME. It's so awesome, in fact, that it's sort of maddening, if you see it, to repeatedly hear the "How will we solve the story problems inherent in the WW premise?" argument over and over, because seriously: that animated feature feature already wrapped that shit up with a neat bow. Use those ideas. They're GOLD.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:06 AM on October 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yes. All of this. I want Wonder Woman to be completely confused by everything in her blunt Yes-I-Am-A-Warrior-Princess way. (I also want it set in the 70s because of reasons)

You'll get to see DC's take on this in the next Justice League animated feature; it's based on the first arc of the New 52 comic, which plays Diana's fish-out-of-water element to the hilt.

Spoiler warning: it's terrible.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:35 AM on October 4, 2013

Wonder Woman should be DCWarner's Thor ripoff:

Sif movie! Sif movie!
posted by Artw at 12:21 PM on October 4, 2013 [1 favorite]

You'll get to see DC's take on this in the next Justice League animated feature; it's based on the first arc of the New 52 comic, which plays Diana's fish-out-of-water element to the hilt.

Spoiler warning: it's terrible.

I forget which was the recent DC animated movie that made me swear off their grimdark offerings, but I remember thinking, no, I really don't want them to do Wonder Woman any more either. Maybe the Flashpoint Paradox? In which she was murdering people.

This, on the other hand, might not be the only take on Wonder Woman that would be fun, but I'd watch a full movie of this version of the character.
posted by immlass at 12:32 PM on October 4, 2013

Geez, a Wonder Woman movie is difficult to do my ass. It's real simple: you do two hours of Wonder Woman beating up Nazis, monsters and gods, bam, done. You can even call it Wonder Woman Beats Up Everybody.

The real problem is DC can't find its ass with both hands and a map, and like Marvel, it's terrified of doing anything involving women. It's just sad.
posted by happyroach at 3:33 PM on October 4, 2013 [3 favorites]

Add me to the list of people who thinks a live-action version of the animated movie is all they need to do. I mean, it manages to explain her American flag costume and everything.

That was Steve Trevor's whole schtick. He's a brave guy but he knows he's the weak one in their relationship and he's cool with that. He's all about masculinity not being threatened by the strength of women.

Also, he's probably the key to having the Invisible Jet make sense. The guy's an Air Force Colonel; how do you not tie them together? Like, maybe Steve gets a moment to help Diana prepare for the climactic battle, so he goes to Hephaestus (who he knows can make anything) and asks for a stealth fighter, but doesn't get quite what he was imagining -- "A state-of-the-art F-22 Raptor, like I flew over the Gulf ... and make sure it's invisible!"

Honestly, I think Warner/DC's live-action movies have been utter shit for the most part, and I see no reason Wonder Woman would be different, but I've said it before: if anything, that's all the more reason they shouldn't be afraid of giving WW her shot. Oh, you can't do Wonder Woman because of the high standards you've set with your other movies, like Man of Steel and the third Nolan Batman? Get real.

and like Marvel, it's terrified of doing anything involving women. It's just sad.

Maybe, but at least Marvel has pretty much said, "Yeah, we had a slow start, but we really want to do better." And they've done well with Black Widow, the Agent 13 DVD short, casting for Captain Marvel in Avengers 2, lots of female characters in Guardians of the Galaxy, etc. So no, not perfect, but way better than DC at the moment, which is pretty much just Catwoman across three Batman movies, Green Lantern, and Man of Steel.
posted by Amanojaku at 7:37 AM on October 5, 2013

I left out the important bit:

The real problem is DC can't find its ass with both hands and a map,

Yeah, the issue is really that David Goyer can't figure out how to write Wonder Woman (given his grasp of Superman in Man of Steel, he's probably right), and since Warner is so unbelievably lost about how to make its superheros into good movies, it just keeps going back to the same well, over and over. They don't hate Wonder Woman; they're just incredibly creatively bankrupt. "Hrm. This guy wrote the Blade movies. Let's get him to write Batman. Oh, Batman's a success? Let's get him back for Man of Steel. And Superman vs. Batman. And The Justice League ..."

It's the Nu52 blown up to Hollywood budget proportions. And make no mistake, the shit movies and shit comics are absolutely connected.
posted by Amanojaku at 7:45 AM on October 5, 2013