Funny business names
October 8, 2013 7:18 AM   Subscribe

 
#21 - Melon-Cauli
posted by MuffinMan at 7:25 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


LOL
posted by Teakettle at 7:25 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


#22 Pho King Delicious
posted by jquinby at 7:26 AM on October 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Pynchon's "Marquis de Sod" lawn service beats all these
posted by thelonius at 7:26 AM on October 8, 2013 [10 favorites]


No Thai Tantic? It's a DC landmark!
posted by The Whelk at 7:26 AM on October 8, 2013


Powergen Italia.

Also the simplicity of "I'll Cut You" has made my day.
posted by griphus at 7:27 AM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I remember coming across the name of a business that was something like "Drop Dead Pest Control" and thinking how much fun it would be to be their receptionist. Just think, you'd be answering the phones with a sweet, "Good morning, Drop Dead!"
posted by orange swan at 7:29 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Goin' Postal
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:31 AM on October 8, 2013


Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Bunghole Liquors.
posted by dirtdirt at 7:32 AM on October 8, 2013 [9 favorites]


I sort of collect hair salon puns, but I admit that "I'll cut you" has a stark beauty.
posted by vacapinta at 7:32 AM on October 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Looking forward to people on Facebook forwarding this link. So I can unfriend them.
posted by Outlawyr at 7:32 AM on October 8, 2013 [19 favorites]


Really mad that I can't find the name of that place in Chicago I saw a few years back... It was on (or just off of) Devon Street. Wocky Flocky something-something?

And no, I'm not mistaking one of Devon's zillion ethnic restaurant's names for a nonsense names, it really was nutty and nonsensical.
posted by Rykey at 7:34 AM on October 8, 2013


Are you thinking of Wocky Flocky Flume, the log delivery service?
posted by griphus at 7:36 AM on October 8, 2013


"Tequila Mockingbird" was also a Ramsey Lewis album, and I used to have great fun bringing it up to a friend of mine who couldn't stand puns.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:37 AM on October 8, 2013


I regret to inform you all that Pu Pu Hot Pot has closed after 20 years in business. It has been replaced by a souless, yet clean, looking dumpling place.
posted by maryr at 7:37 AM on October 8, 2013


There's a cafe in Brooklyn called Baguetteaboudit! I'm not sure if that's the worst business name, or the best.
posted by toxtethogrady at 7:37 AM on October 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


Here in Chattanooga, we have Stubbs Prosthetics.
posted by lost_cause at 7:38 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Right around the corner from The Found Sock laundromat is The Missing Sock.

I wish they had included the cryptically-named Montpelier establishment That's Life Soup. To me, that name sounds like something out of Seinfeld.
posted by overeducated_alligator at 7:38 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


"Florist Gump" was used as a joke in a recent "Modern Family" episode along with "Floral and Hardy"
posted by briank at 7:39 AM on October 8, 2013


Real place. Long closed when I moved to the neighborhood. It took the property owners at least five years to take the sign down.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:40 AM on October 8, 2013


Just over the town line from Bunghole Liquors, you'll find one of the two S&M Liquors.
posted by maryr at 7:41 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Also Beaver Liquors of Beaver Creek, Colorado.
posted by Crease Lambada at 7:41 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have several times heard the apocryphal tale of a Muslim butcher in London trading under the name Halal, Is It Meat You're Looking For.
posted by permafrost at 7:41 AM on October 8, 2013 [15 favorites]


That is one big ass fan. Do not miss their pitch for the LED light kit.
posted by localroger at 7:43 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Twenty of the funniest business names of all time.

Twenty of the Punniest business names of all time.

FTFY.
posted by blue_beetle at 7:44 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Leaning Tower of Pizza
posted by Dragonness at 7:44 AM on October 8, 2013


Are you thinking of Wocky Flocky Flume, the log delivery service?

No, and the more I think about it, the more I'm thinking I'm way off with "Wocky Flocky." But it was that kind of nutty name, four words total I think. Ignore me, I'm suffering from premature posting syndrome (PPS).
posted by Rykey at 7:45 AM on October 8, 2013


London probably has its fair share of punsome business titles, but I'm a particular fan of oddly (mis)named businesses. Like "Favourable Chicken" in Hither Green.

I'm not sure what it is about that street and fairly weak adjectives. A few doors down is "Typical Kebab Express".
posted by TheAlarminglySwollenFinger at 7:49 AM on October 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


Not a funny name, but I have a vendor named "Danco". Really? Your name is Dan, so naturally? Google your first name with "co" tacked onto the end. Odds are someone named their company that.
posted by Brocktoon at 7:49 AM on October 8, 2013


It's not the business name, but there's a paving company around here that specializes in concrete and asphalt repair whose motto is "Your hole is our goal." It's on the trucks and everything.
posted by echo target at 7:51 AM on October 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


There's a cafe in Brooklyn called Baguetteaboudit! I'm not sure if that's the worst business name, or the best.

Okay I have to take issue with this simply because if you're going to be selling your elongated, crusty bread while pretending to be all down-home Brooklyn for your French (?!) bistro, you damn well better know that elongated, crusty bread tends to be referred to as "Italian bread" and not "baguettes."
posted by griphus at 7:51 AM on October 8, 2013


Twenty of the funniest most painful business names of all time.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:53 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


BreadPitt Bakers

British Hairways, a barber shop

Just Falafs, a fast food place in Covent Garden, closed down

Chez Guevara, Mexican restaurant
posted by Dragonness at 7:55 AM on October 8, 2013


Dr. Harry Beaver - OB /GYN
posted by COD at 7:55 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, and let's not forget, "Dong-Ah Food" in Lincolnwood, IL
posted by Outlawyr at 7:55 AM on October 8, 2013


Remind me of the food truck episode of Bob's Burgers:
Ghengis Flan! Ain't Muffin To It! Ode to Soy!
Basically, what I'm telling you is if you ever the Dragon's Den and your business plan is wordplay underlined in chunky magic marker followed by "so genius" and "brilliant", also in magic marker, you are in for hell of pursed lips and tented fingers.
posted by boo_radley at 7:57 AM on October 8, 2013


Rykey, maybe you've just got the wrong idea. Your thought process is a bit muddied. You need a trip to Concept Cleaners.
posted by maryr at 7:57 AM on October 8, 2013


Oh! My Nappy Hair Salon in Los Angeles

And the TERRIBLY named 9021Pho in Beverly Hills.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:57 AM on October 8, 2013


In my neighborhood we have Beaver Mower
posted by cottoncandybeard at 7:58 AM on October 8, 2013


Here in KC, there's a Vietnamese-French bistro currently in development called iPhoTower.
posted by chara at 7:58 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sellfridges.
posted by fight or flight at 7:59 AM on October 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


I always wanted to open a doughnut store called A Holes. It's yours, use it in good health.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:59 AM on October 8, 2013


maryr, a shame to hear that about Pu Pu Hot Pot. Not long ago I lived near the Medford-Somerville border, and the nearest strip of storefronts featured, as near-neighbors: Woody's Liquors, Pini's Pizza, and Wang's Chinese. It was affectionately referred to as "The Cock Block".
posted by unregistered_animagus at 7:59 AM on October 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


Oh man this thread is going to be freakin epic.

I have a list around here somewhere of my favorites, but all I can remember offhand is Get Nailed nail salon in Long Island.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:01 AM on October 8, 2013


Specialists?
posted by pjern at 8:01 AM on October 8, 2013


There used to be a hairdressers in Dalston called It Will Grow Back.
posted by motty at 8:03 AM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Chainstore Massacre (pronounce in a British accent)
posted by Rock Steady at 8:03 AM on October 8, 2013


It is a matter of considerable disappointment that there was never a North London Japanese cafe called Miso Hornsey.
posted by Devonian at 8:05 AM on October 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Unintentionally funny: my friend had an office across from a counseling center called New Directions. I really would not go to therapy at a place that was phonetically Nude Erections.
posted by The Deej at 8:06 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Vasectomies by Dr. Richard Chopp
posted by dirtdirt at 8:08 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


it's like real life this!
posted by fuzzypantalones at 8:10 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I always wanted to open a used record store called Grand Thrift Audio.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:14 AM on October 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


I want to start a continental bakery called "House of Pain."
posted by MuffinMan at 8:15 AM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


There are dozens of places in the US alone called Curl Up & Dye.
I always thought that Cycle Analysis was an odd name for a bike shop, not realizing until today that it was a pun.
posted by Tool of the Conspiracy at 8:15 AM on October 8, 2013


The Grassy Knoll Lawncare.
posted by azuresunday at 8:16 AM on October 8, 2013


unregistered_animagus, that is my neighborhood. I really like Wang's. Maybe I'll get some Wang's delivered tonight. Wang's can be a little salty though.
posted by maryr at 8:17 AM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


Sadly not a real chain, but there's a fast food joint in episodes of Metalocalypse called Dimmu Burger. I would definitely eat there.
posted by skycrashesdown at 8:18 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm in Philly, and if I don't get off the stick soon, my new restaurant Pho Pho Pho is not going to make any sense to anybody.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 8:18 AM on October 8, 2013


What about the abbreviated Chinese Restaurant, where you probably want to shovel it in as quickly as possible before you notice - the No 1. Taste House in Dracut, MA?
posted by Nanukthedog at 8:20 AM on October 8, 2013




Maybe I'll get some Wang's delivered tonight. Wang's can be a little salty though.

And if your Wang doesn't come in 30 minutes you get a free Wang.
posted by permafrost at 8:23 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm not giving my money to a hairdresser named "I'll Cut You".

Here's Lino Richie
posted by iotic at 8:25 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sadly, missing my personal fave: Phuc Long Coffee & Tea House in Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam.
posted by eenagy at 8:26 AM on October 8, 2013


I have always wanted to open a recycling center called Bottles and Cans, Just Clap Your Hands.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:27 AM on October 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


I used to pass Pizza Punani on my way to work every day. I don't know if it's a pun, but really what on earth were they thinking?
posted by iotic at 8:28 AM on October 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


Right next door to my second-hand Indian clothing store, Whose Sari Now?
posted by jbickers at 8:29 AM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I like the wine shop called Big Nose Full Body, which happens to be down the street from Pita Pan (pictured in the main link). Never actually bought any wine there, though.

The Chirping Chicken chain gets me every time. CHICKENS DON'T CHIRP.
posted by moonmilk at 8:30 AM on October 8, 2013


I can't even tell what kind of business Thistle Do Nicely is. A flower shop, maybe? Garden supplies? Scottish goods?
posted by Copronymus at 8:34 AM on October 8, 2013


I always wanted to open a barbecue joint and call it Big S BBQ.

"Now that's a Big S plate of ribs!"
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:36 AM on October 8, 2013


There used to be a wonderful, top-notch Thai place near me with the unfortunate name of Kan Pou.

However, the best worst name idea for a store I ever heard was for a bike shop named Pedalfiles.
posted by chambers at 8:36 AM on October 8, 2013


There was a Leaning Tower of Pizza 50 years ago in Cambridge, MA. We had to go there from quite a ways away if we wanted pizza, because there was no pizza parlor in my town or in the adjacent towns.

I think the people who came up with "Lawn & Order" are lacking imagination, because the ampersand is superfluous. Sorry, Alvy.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:36 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


No Grand Opening ? (NSFW unless you work at Good Vibrations)
posted by zippy at 8:37 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was positively gleeful, several years ago, to end up in traffic behind a car marked with Sweeney Todd Medical Waste Disposal.

And around the corner from me there's frequently a car parked with the signage for a florists called Bialystock and Bloom.

The punny name way to my heart seems to be with musical references.
posted by gadge emeritus at 8:37 AM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


I have always wanted to open a recycling center called Bottles and Cans, Just Clap Your Hands.

I'd love to visit, but I don't know where it's at.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:38 AM on October 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


”Here in Chattanooga, we have Stubbs Prosthetics.”

Chattanooga is also home to Sofa King Juicy Burger
posted by Harpocrates at 8:39 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


If you're near Boston and consider classic jazz a bit fishy, try Thelonious Monkfish.
posted by sammyo at 8:40 AM on October 8, 2013


I'm still waiting to see if Jim'll Mix It will be getting a rebrand.
posted by fight or flight at 8:40 AM on October 8, 2013


"Now that's a Big S plate of ribs!"

It's not a pun but Big Ass Fans, which some may recognize from their advertisements in the New Yorker.
posted by griphus at 8:41 AM on October 8, 2013


"Now that's a Big S plate of ribs!"

No, no, it should be a French bistro that delivers snails (in a speedy little VW Bug) so we can say "Look at that S car go!"
posted by moonmilk at 8:41 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


My parents used to live near a salon called "The Head Shoppe."

They never understood why my brother and I laughed about it...
posted by rock swoon has no past at 8:42 AM on October 8, 2013


Submitted for your approval: Outhouse Springs Bottled Water and a restaurant called A Taste of Greece. Yep.
posted by scratch at 8:43 AM on October 8, 2013


My parents used to live near a salon called "The Head Shoppe."

Man, that is flagrant false advertising!
posted by griphus at 8:43 AM on October 8, 2013


Came in to say Ash Wipes chimney sweeps, whom I have hired. Beaten to it. Totally called because they had a funny name.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:44 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Pynchon's "Marquis de Sod" lawn service beats all these

Not to mention Pynchon's fictional strip club called Joie de Beavre.

I would also be remiss not to appall you all with the nearby clothes shop called "Change of A Dress".
posted by forgetful snow at 8:47 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


The Chirping Chicken chain gets me every time. CHICKENS DON'T CHIRP.

Maybe it's a Bluth family money-laundering front.
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:48 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


funniest business names of all time.

Well... in the context of "funny" being Garfield comics or Dave Barry columns, sure, I guess these are pretty good. Still, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your Tumblr.

I have always like the name of a middle-eastern food place on Queen Street West in Toronto: Syriandipity.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 8:48 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Thelonious Monkfish is decent Asian fusion cuisine and almost across the street from the former Pu Pu Hot Pot.

My sister and her friends have always loved, loved, loved visiting me a discussing what they could trade to obtain food at Finagle A Bagel.
posted by maryr at 8:48 AM on October 8, 2013


Of course now I know it's ethnic, but the first time I came across the name Kinky World Of Hair I had no idea what (or where) it was, and I snorted a bit.
posted by lhauser at 8:48 AM on October 8, 2013


In the Logan Square neighborhood of Chicago, there's a hairdresser called "Hairetics", with the subhead of "Dye for your beliefs."
posted by eriko at 8:49 AM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


There's a place in Toronto called Cleptomania Shoes. If it's a joke I don't get it but it always makes me laugh so maybe I do.

(and on preview of lhauser's comment it's in the same plaza as a store simply called 100% Human Hair)
posted by yellowbinder at 8:50 AM on October 8, 2013


I've always thought that the A. Duie Pyle trucking company should specialize in hauling manure. They don't, but we still laugh at the trucks when we see them.

My town used to have the Hotel Hooker (named for founder Seth Hooker). Took quite a few years for the old sign to be taken down and the place to be renamed Windham House.
posted by dlugoczaj at 8:51 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Unintentionally funny: my friend had an office across from a counseling center called New Directions. I really would not go to therapy at a place that was phonetically Nude Erections.

I'll see you and raise you trucks/vans with "www.therapistschoice.com" on the back.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:53 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Still missing the Wok of Fame formerly of Burbank, CA
posted by davros42 at 8:54 AM on October 8, 2013


I want to start a continental bakery called "House of Pain."

You'll have to get in line behind me and biscotti. Or at least stay far from Pennsylvania.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:54 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


That is one big ass fan.

I love Big Ass Fans. They seem to have let the registration lapse, but a few years ago they gave me the exquisite pleasure of explaining to the IT department that in fact, yes, I did have a legitimate business need to visit bigass.com.
posted by nickmark at 8:59 AM on October 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


I just want to say that I didn't realise until I was about 28 that 'Whiskas' is a trademarkable way of spelling 'whiskers'. It just looked like a new word, maybe a multiple of Whiska?
posted by mippy at 9:00 AM on October 8, 2013


I came up with "Surelock Homes" when I was like 5, and my parents told me it was funny, but too silly to be a real company name.

With it went my dreams of being a locksmith, and now, the wound is ripped open once again...
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:00 AM on October 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


Dr. Harry Beaver - OB /GYN

I wonder if he knows Dr. Richard Chopp.
posted by iotic at 9:00 AM on October 8, 2013


Pork Slope deserves a mention, if only because their pork is delicious despite the atrocious pun of a name.
posted by grumpybear69 at 9:01 AM on October 8, 2013


Somewhere in the Pittsburgh region, a plumbing company exists with the slogan of, Don't go to bed with that drip tonight!
posted by Slackermagee at 9:03 AM on October 8, 2013


Knobs and Knockers, a home furnishings store.
posted by Ndwright at 9:04 AM on October 8, 2013


Meanwhile, in London...
posted by Decani at 9:05 AM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Davros!!! Me too! It was terrible, but I still loved it.
posted by Sophie1 at 9:07 AM on October 8, 2013


Halifax has an intersection downtown which for a long time had pizza joints on three corners, and is affectionately called Pizza Corner. The fourth corner is a church, and an ongoing joke when I lived there was that the church was being converted into a fourth pizza place, called Jesus Crust.
posted by oulipian at 9:08 AM on October 8, 2013 [7 favorites]


There's a plumbing company in my (college) town called the Drain Brain.
posted by zeptoweasel at 9:12 AM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


There's a laundromat in my neighborhood called Lather Daddy.
posted by palomar at 9:23 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


For all your scaffolding needs: Mammoth Erection.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 9:29 AM on October 8, 2013 [6 favorites]


Here in Roanoke we have Turd Busters.
posted by PHINC at 9:59 AM on October 8, 2013


There used to be a restaurant in Edinburgh called Beef Encounter. It closed before I ever had the funds to eat there.
posted by gnuhavenpier at 10:12 AM on October 8, 2013 [5 favorites]


There was the San Francisco Polk street store Sukkers Likkers.
posted by lathrop at 10:16 AM on October 8, 2013


In Chapel Hill, N.C., in the late '90s was a carpetlaying business named Fuzzy Side Up.
posted by key_of_z at 10:17 AM on October 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


His specialty seemed an obvious choice.
posted by hmo at 10:26 AM on October 8, 2013


Portland, OR has the famous Hung Far Low Chinese restaurant, whose neon remains in historic Chinatown, but the actual food service has relocated to outer SE 82nd Ave.
Seattle has Pho King.
We also have the incredible pescine market Mutual Fish, where they have an entire kosher section, and offer pre-ground fresh gefilte fish mixtures for Passover. They're Japanese, though.
Growing up, I had an orthopedic surgeon named Dr. Crutchlow.
Mefite Ottereroticist and I had a little side business for a while called Pussy Psychics, inspired by a real-life Cat Psychic in Portland. I'll let Ottereroticist tell the story theirself, since I wasn't there.
posted by Dreidl at 10:43 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


If you're crazy about bikes you can go to Toronto's CyclePath.
posted by Kabanos at 10:46 AM on October 8, 2013


The original and still, uhm... unbeaten: Big Boy Steel Erection.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 10:49 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


You may or may not know that New Orleans has drive-through daiquiri stands. Around 2000, there was one on the main drag in Central City, I can't remember the name of it. But I'll always remember the name of the liquor store next door: the Hit & Run.
posted by Errant at 11:08 AM on October 8, 2013


The original and still, uhm... unbeaten...

Their address? Missouri Bottom Road.
posted by zippy at 11:18 AM on October 8, 2013


There is a dumpy little used tire shop near Andrews, NC with the name Tire Zan. I don't know how many times I went past it without getting it. People with the local southern Appalachian accent say "tire" like "tahr," hence the store's name is pronounced "Tarzan."

Here in Tennessee we're slightly more literate: we have Cycology Bicycles.
posted by workerant at 11:28 AM on October 8, 2013


I have no idea how it is suppose to be pronounced (I've heard all sorts of variations,) but clearly some of these pho puns only work if you mispronounce the word "pho."
posted by griphus at 11:30 AM on October 8, 2013


My orthodontist was Dr. Mundt, which is the German word for mouth, while my dentist was Dr. Paul Wild. When he retired, his son took over the practice: Dr. Wild, Junior.

And the guy who cleans our septic tank has this motto painted on his trucks: "A good flush beats a full house."
posted by wenestvedt at 11:34 AM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]




My gay neighbor always tells me to go to Pho Kim Long whenever I travel to Las Vegas.

Closer to home we have Dianne's Hair-Em.
posted by slogger at 11:44 AM on October 8, 2013


In Chapel Hill, N.C., in the late '90s was a carpetlaying business named Fuzzy Side Up.

I think this comes from a home building industry in-joke that refers to the businesses that lay sod on lawns as "green side up crews."
posted by joechip at 12:09 PM on October 8, 2013


No no no. Tequila Mockingbird is a drink that involved shooting a raw egg from half an egg shell and chasing it with tequila, which must be drunk from the other half of the shell. Obviously.
posted by that's candlepin at 12:40 PM on October 8, 2013


In the Seattle area: What The Pho
posted by zardoz at 12:44 PM on October 8, 2013


G. Will Liqours
posted by nickmark at 12:56 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


A local favorite of mine is a picture framing store named "Framer vs. Framer".

(And my fantasy Pho restaurant name: "Down to Pho")
posted by kprincehouse at 1:01 PM on October 8, 2013


Years ago, a family member approached me with the idea to open a lunch kiosk/hot dog stand near the library of the downtown area he was living.

I agreed to take over the management of the kiosk if he would allow me to name it "Hot of Dogness" and paint a scene of a group of stick-figures piloting a floating hot dog (in a bun, with relish and mustard and ketchup) up an ominous jungle river into the horizon.

Ya know, for the literary crowd. The library patrons would've swarmed us each lunchtime for our signature Chili Conrad Carne Dogs.

Never happened. :(
posted by Alonzo T. Calm at 1:08 PM on October 8, 2013 [8 favorites]


You're a shrewd negotiator, Alonzo.
posted by forgetful snow at 1:12 PM on October 8, 2013


For all your scaffolding needs: Mammoth Erection.

The animated wooly mammoth on that site very briefly made me wonder what I was in for. I should really stop surfing this site at work...
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:13 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


#22 Pho King Delicious

Pho' Shizzle.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:14 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


#22 Pho King Delicious

Pho' Shizzle.


Pho Kim, more like it.
posted by Flamingo at 1:16 PM on October 8, 2013


There's a salon in Brockton, MA ominously named "Man Trap."
One place that has always given me pause is "Knobby Krafters." I never did figure out what they were krafting, and I was never able to say the first word without pronouncing the K. Alliteration doesn't really work when you're dealing with silent letters.
posted by Biblio at 1:17 PM on October 8, 2013


Or if you're an Austin food truck, Pig Vicious.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 2:21 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ya know, for the literary crowd. The library patrons would've swarmed us each lunchtime for our signature Chili Conrad Carne Dogs

I'll take one "Verlocked and Loaded" to go.
posted by jquinby at 2:30 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was in London last week for work, and was outside where I was staying on the Kilburn High Road for a smoke. Watching the traffic go by, in between the No 16 buses was a flatbed Transit full of scaffolding. The name on the side? "Scaffolding by Poles" - in both English and (slightly smaller) in Polish.
posted by Len at 4:14 PM on October 8, 2013


There's a "Sweeney Todd's" barber shop in Edmonton.
posted by Zozo at 6:11 PM on October 8, 2013


I will always be a fan of Mutual Screw and Supply, a/k/a MutualScrew.com ("It's Better When It's Mutual").
posted by bakerina at 6:49 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


We used to have a "Wok N' Roll" here. We still have Pho King 4.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:58 PM on October 8, 2013


I really liked the businesses with English names that I saw in Japan. Here is a list I collected:

Hysteric Glamour [clothes shop]
Octopus Army [clothes shop]
Reggings Fair [a shop that sells socks and leggings]
Decoy Coffee Shop [made me wonder where the real one was]
Anomaly Structure [furniture shop]
Magical Cheese Cheese Bar
Giggle [no idea what sort of shop that was]
Zi-co'ck West [no idea either, but I have to assume the proprietor was Klingon]

More recently in Vietnam I saw a book shop with a sign out the front that said, "To read intellectually".
posted by lollusc at 6:58 PM on October 8, 2013


There used to be a wonderful, top-notch Thai place near me with the unfortunate name of Kan Pou.

There was an OK south Indian restaurant in Calgary called Mysore Palace (it's Raj Palace now). Yes, I know it's referring to a palace in the city of Mysore. But still.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 7:15 PM on October 8, 2013


I live two blocks away from this one: Hold The Nuts! (photo)
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:16 PM on October 8, 2013


The Mee Heng Low Chop Suey/Noodle Shop has been a San Luis Obispo landmark since the beginning of the 20TH Century and marks what's left of what had been the city's "Chinatown". Even when the place was closed for several years, the sign has stood (hung?) proudly over Palm Street.
posted by oneswellfoop at 7:36 PM on October 8, 2013


I mentioned in MeTa recently that there was a place near me that sold women and children's discount footwear called That's Shoe Biz. They had all these "Going out of Business" signs, and I kept wanting to pop in to say, well, that's shoe biz! but since they didn't sell men's shoes, why would I be in there? and once I delivered my quip, what the hell would I do? Just turn around and leave silently?
posted by klangklangston at 7:56 PM on October 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


"We used to have a "Wok N' Roll" here. "

There used to be a place on I-75 in, uh, I wanna say Tennessee, that was called "I Know It's Only Wok And Go But I Like It."
posted by klangklangston at 7:57 PM on October 8, 2013


In Tucson these days we have Planet of the Crepes. Delicious.

I do miss B&D Mattress. Didn't try them, though.

D&D Insurance just changed their name to D2 Insurance or something bland like that. I wonder if they just had too many people coming in to try and insure their trusty warhorse, or to take out trip insurance for their journey into the Tomb of Horrors.
posted by MrVisible at 10:57 PM on October 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I see the truck for Danielsan Electric parked downtown sometimes- the joke isn't so much in the name as it is the slogan: "Lights off? Lights on!"
posted by maus at 12:09 AM on October 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


If I ever did open a storefront-type business, it would be a karaoke coffee shop called Mocha Choco Latté Yaya.

Or a Japanese takeout lunch place called Get Bento.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:08 AM on October 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'd open a bistro-style joint that serves steak tartare, carpaccio, and ceviche. It would be called Écoli.
posted by moonmilk at 7:05 AM on October 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, we're going to do places in foreign countries now? Here's the Beijing Hub of Tour Dispatch serve the people heart and soul Ticket Office. Also in Beijing, here's the A Small Town in Rhine Theme Bakery.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 8:11 AM on October 9, 2013


Forbeadin was a beading/craft jewelry store in San Francisco. I like puns that make you have a funny accent when you say them. Looks like the store is closed down now.

My friend told me about a pet groomer called Doggie Style, but I can't remember were it's located.
posted by bienbiensuper at 8:39 AM on October 9, 2013


D&D Insurance just changed their name to D2 Insurance or something bland like that.

There's a place nearby called AD&D Pizza and I'm like, yeah, I could go for both those things.
posted by griphus at 8:51 AM on October 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


There's a Doggy Style in Edinburgh, Scotland, and there used to be a hydroponics store in Leith called Sunshine on Leaf (after the Proclaimers song). I have also had the joy of calling both The S & M Roofing Company, and the Bury branch of a charity called People First, who actually pick the phone up and say 'Bury People First' without a hint of irony.
posted by Chairboy at 3:28 PM on October 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


My friend told me about a pet groomer called Doggie Style, but I can't remember were it's located.

We have one of those in my town (Willimantic, CT)! Actually, here it's "Doggy Stylez." Close enough.
posted by dlugoczaj at 7:14 AM on October 11, 2013


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