"Once, there was a boy from a small pueblo … "
October 10, 2013 11:45 AM   Subscribe

"He's the most enthusiastic actor I've ever worked with, and it makes you wanna make roles for him." According to Rodriguez, "Everyone calls him Machete now. Even his mom calls him Machete." He's had hypodermic needles jabbed into his neck. He's had a power drill run through his brain. He's had an immolating crucifix speared into his vampire heart. Charles Bronson and Robert De Niro have killed him. Stone Cold Steve Austin and 50 Cent have killed him. Mickey Rourke has killed him twice. In 2010, after nearly three decades of bit parts as brutal, doomed toughs, Trejo finally starred in a movie. In a couple of days, the gonzo sequel Machete Kills will hit theaters, cementing Trejo as just about the least likely Hollywood franchise star you can imagine. (previously)
posted by mannequito (42 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
Machete don't FPP.
posted by arcticseal at 11:47 AM on October 10, 2013 [3 favorites]

Currently at 38% on Rotten Tomatoes (Machete got 72%)... But I have faith!
posted by Artw at 11:49 AM on October 10, 2013

Loved Machete. Cannot deal with Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen in the same movie. As much as I want to see Gaga as a nun, I'm taking a powder on the sequel.
posted by pxe2000 at 11:53 AM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Machete had Steven Seagal...
posted by Artw at 11:54 AM on October 10, 2013

Danny Trejo is also in the Spy Kids series as "Uncle Machete", which is kind of wonderful.
posted by Artw at 11:56 AM on October 10, 2013 [14 favorites]

Machete had Steven Seagal...
And Lindsay Lohan.
Dressed as a nun.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:02 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

The Ten Best Danny Trejo Film Titles:

10. Kinjite: Forbidden Subjects
9. Tennis, Anyone...?
8. Whiteboyz
7. No Mothers Crying, No Babies Dying
6. Bro'
5. Carnal Crimes
4. Sex Crimes
3. Blood In, Blood Out
2. Eyeborgs
1. The Haunted World Of El Superbeasto
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:09 PM on October 10, 2013 [7 favorites]

I really want to make him my Saints Row character, but I'm afraid without the voice it wouldn't be the same.

Note to Volition: I would pay between $5 and $10 to have Danny Trejo's voice as the voice of my Saints Row character.
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 12:11 PM on October 10, 2013 [9 favorites]

Even if this middle one isn't as good, I really want it to do well enough that we get Machete Kills Again...In Space!
posted by JauntyFedora at 12:16 PM on October 10, 2013 [7 favorites]

In the first Machete, he kills despicable racist politicians. In the sequel he's working for them...
posted by nikoniko at 12:17 PM on October 10, 2013

I feel like this is the kind of movie where .gifs and the soundtrack will be sufficient.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:19 PM on October 10, 2013 [3 favorites]

Machete is what the inside of my mind looks like. Hells yeah.
posted by Harvey Jerkwater at 12:30 PM on October 10, 2013

I liked him on King of the Hill.
posted by box at 12:33 PM on October 10, 2013

If for no other reason, this movie will be remembered for this brilliant line from the first trailer: "...and introducing Carlos Estevez." That's gold.
posted by The Tensor at 12:39 PM on October 10, 2013 [6 favorites]

I liked him on King of the Hill.

He was hilarious on that show.

HANK: So you're telling me that for the last twenty years you've spent all your money on parties?
ENRIQUE: And funerals!

And I still can't order fish without thinking of the way he pronounces "salmon." "They put sal-moon in the fish tacos, Hank! SAL-MOON!"
posted by MrBadExample at 12:50 PM on October 10, 2013 [3 favorites]

The great thing about King of the Hill is how they USED Danny Trejo. Their characters include Octavio, a shady, somewhat violent Latino "fixer" who associates with Dale--a perfect type for Trejo.

Instead, Mike Judge does that voice. Danny Trejo plays Enrique, the dopey, hapless family man who works for Hank at Strickland Propane and has trouble relating to his moody 15-year-old daughter.

It's pretty brilliant.
posted by DeWalt_Russ at 12:53 PM on October 10, 2013 [9 favorites]

King of the Hill was pretty brilliant in general. The last season was a bit weak, but I miss that show.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:55 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Trejo was also very funny in the Harold and Kumar Christmas movie. I guess what I'm saying is Machete has chops.
posted by Atom Eyes at 12:57 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

What I loved about Enrique was that, yeah, there's the novelty of casting Danny Trejo as a put-upon family man, but then he just absolutely NAILS it. It is a legitimately great piece of voice characterization.
posted by MrBadExample at 12:58 PM on October 10, 2013

Also pretty great as the Skymall obsessed El Tortuga in season 2 of Breaking Bad.
posted by Ham Snadwich at 1:02 PM on October 10, 2013 [2 favorites]

Absolutely, MrBadExample. I didn't mean merely to reduce Trejo's role to novelty. He's fantastic as Enrique, and it's probably one of the only chances he'll get to portray anything except an utter badass.

(Speaking of brilliance, The Card Cheat, KOTH's "The Redneck on Rainey Street" is one of the best skewerings of the American Dream that I've ever seen on network TV.)
posted by DeWalt_Russ at 1:02 PM on October 10, 2013

I saw his face in my mind's eye the moment I saw the first sentence of this thing, no link-clicking required.

Good for him!
posted by droplet at 1:02 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm still having trouble believing the man is nearly 70. I had to read it twice before I believed I saw it the first time.

We'll be at the movies on Saturday, two on the aisle.

I'll just boo and throw popcorn when Mel Gibson comes on.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 1:04 PM on October 10, 2013

I've loved Danny Trejo ever since I saw him dial a phone with a knife in Desperado.
posted by COBRA! at 1:06 PM on October 10, 2013 [3 favorites]

From the depths of the Wayback Machine.... Hey! It's That Guy!
posted by ApathyGirl at 1:09 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

I would call Machete a guilty pleasure of mine, except that I don't feel the least bit guilty about loving it. Danny Trejo is a national treasure as far as I'm concerned.
posted by vibrotronica at 1:16 PM on October 10, 2013 [3 favorites]

Wait, wait, wait. Danny Trejo is Enrique from "King of the Hill?"

I honestly had no idea.

"Bark! Bark! I'm a dog! No, no, I'm a chicken! Chickens are what you like! I've...I've got presents."
posted by infinitywaltz at 1:25 PM on October 10, 2013 [2 favorites]

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you were reducing his to performance to novelty, DeWalt_Russ. I was just saying that it works on the level of sheer novelty, but it is also really good character performance.
posted by MrBadExample at 1:25 PM on October 10, 2013

I always enjoy seeing (or in the case of "King of the Hill," hearing) Danny Trejo, even if the movie or TV show he happens to be in isn't all that great. Also, he seems like a pretty good guy in real life, too.

I thought "Machete" mostly delivered on what it promised, though I really wish they'd figured out a way to include the bit from the "Grindhouse" fake trailer that had Trejo wearing a trenchcoat/duster lined completely with machetes, knives, swords, etc. That coat was bad-ass, and I'm hoping it'll be in the sequel.
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 1:48 PM on October 10, 2013 [2 favorites]

I got to hear Trejo speak about getting sober, in a room of about 300 people. And he was funny, and he was relatable, and when he talked about his love for his mother, who had just recently passed away, there was not a dry eye in the place. It was beautiful to see how much he loved her.

I have a huge soft spot for Danny Trejo.
posted by thankyouforyourconsideration at 2:02 PM on October 10, 2013 [10 favorites]

It looks like it will be fun, although from the trailers it seemed like it lost something from the original. But really the main reason I'm going to see it is to make sure that the character of the president is properly credited.

Also, checking to see if that's listed right I noticed IMDB has made it easy for you to find movies with bullet-firing bras in them.
posted by ckape at 2:15 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Danny Trejo rocks.
posted by JHarris at 2:16 PM on October 10, 2013 [2 favorites]

What's the premise on this one? Did he sell out like Rambo?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:19 PM on October 10, 2013

The fuck is this?
posted by Rat Spatula at 3:25 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

The fuck is this?

Your worst nightmare, butthorn!
posted by Halloween Jack at 3:42 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

Didn't care for Machete but I like Trejo usually. Loved him in heat, where they use his real name for his character's name, which is kind of badass.
posted by dobbs at 6:28 PM on October 10, 2013

As great as he is on film, he was amazing on TV as a head riding a tortoise in Breaking Bad.
posted by threeze at 7:15 PM on October 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

So my cousin has a complete grossout sense of humor and he loves schlock. He came over the other night and I told him to put on whatever, since I was reading Metafilter, and of course the whatever was Machete on cable. Our viewing was punctuated with my cousin occasionally saying, very excited, "Snarl, Snarl, look, it's the guy's intestines!"

I HATE horror and gore so I would have to be like "I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT THE INTESTINES" and my cousin would crack up laughing and say, "But it was AWESOME!" We continued in this vein for 45 minutes or so, with the look/don't want to look object being variously a surgical saw, an exploding house and a crucifixion.

My cousin was over again for dinner a couple days later and yelled to me all of a sudden that he'd seen a trailer and ergo we were going to the movies together next month. I asked him, to see what, Thor 2? (I am actually excited about Thor 2.) No, I had to guess. Wait, something that I wanted to see or something that he wanted to see?

No answer. I don't know, Danny Trejo must have gotten to me because in the spirit of the thing, I started jumping up and down and yelling, "MACHETE KILLS! MACHETE KILLS! MACHETE KILLS!"

n.b. I am not fucking watching Machete Kills in a theater, the intestines are going to be 10 feet tall NO THANK YOU.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 4:01 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

I saw Machete Kills last night, and I'm sad to say that it was kind of a mess. I know it's an odd thing to say that an exploitation pastiche is TOO crazy, but... I guess I'm saying it.

It's like Rodriguez came up with a list of 50 completely off the wall elements to include in the movie, and instead of picking the best 10 or 15 he just sets the controls for the heart of the sun and tosses all 50 in there, shakes the box up and hope something good comes out. Sadly it didn't for me at least.

And I loved the original Machete and just rewatched it a few weeks ago in anticipation of the sequel. That still holds up splendidly.

At the very least you do see a full trailer for MACHETE KILLS AGAIN IN SPACE, and that's pretty fun.
posted by Aznable at 5:39 AM on October 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

I recently read his Wiki entry for some reason (Zombie Peacher, maybe?) and his life is amazing.
posted by Mezentian at 7:35 AM on October 11, 2013

No love for his first film? Runaway Train?
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 8:43 AM on October 12, 2013

I'm sure we would have gotten around to mentioning it eventually 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a, if that indeed is your name.
posted by JHarris at 6:34 PM on October 12, 2013

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