Papa continues to preach, relentlessly

October 11, 2013 7:34 AM

'Though I made some tough demands / I'll be proud to hold your baby in my hands.' In 1986, actor Danny Aiello, who played 'Papa' in the video for Madonna's song Papa Don't Preach, released an answer song called Papa Wants the Best for You. As reported at the time of the song's release, 'the tragedy of the father at first turning his back on his daughter haunted Aiello and he decided he'd make some kind of new statement on his own'. (Via Dangerous Minds.)
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED (44 comments total)

I totally remember when this came out. It was big news on MTV.
posted by xingcat at 7:46 AM on October 11, 2013

....I'll admit it's been years since I've seen the video, but doesn't it end with "papa" giving Madonna a big hug? Not sure where he's getting the idea that "papa" turned his back on her.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:46 AM on October 11, 2013

I remember some weird answer song with a bunch of gangly, awkward priests and laypeople called "Madonna Don't Preach." Can't tell you how I saw it, but it existed.
posted by infinitewindow at 7:47 AM on October 11, 2013 [4 favorites]

The 80s were a weird time, man.
posted by entropicamericana at 7:48 AM on October 11, 2013 [9 favorites]

Empress, the key words here are "at first."
posted by Pistache at 7:48 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Besides, the hug was only three notes long! He clearly felt the need to make more notes' worth of amends.
posted by Pistache at 7:50 AM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

I have no idea how I have lived this long not knowing that this existed. Like I didn't believe this was real and responded, initially, to the Google News link as if it was a Hawaiian newspaper announcing Barack Obama's birth and I was the Birther in the situation.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 7:51 AM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

the key words here are "at first."

yeah, for like 10 seconds. And it came across more like "lemme wrap my brain around this" than "begone and never darken my door again."

Danny doth protest too much, is what I feel like now.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:53 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

I think more of the theses so persuasively adumbrated in Madonna's work deserve this kind of thoughtful response.
posted by Segundus at 7:53 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

I have long wanted to pen an "answer song" detailing the myriad good reasons for changing this bird.
posted by Navelgazer at 7:57 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

I like to imagine Madonna had a song in the can just in case this took off called "Chrissakes, Papa Would You Just Shut the Hell Up Already?"
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:59 AM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

Did Captain Lou Albano ever make a video admitting that yes, girls just want to have fun?
posted by three blind mice at 8:00 AM on October 11, 2013 [18 favorites]

No. But Leon made a video called, "Yes, Black Jesus Loves You."

Not really.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:02 AM on October 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

I think more of the theses so persuasively adumbrated in Madonna's work deserve this kind of thoughtful response.

Will Ferguson's Hokkaido Highway Blues chronicles a hitchhiking trip across Japan. During one ride, the author finds himself trying to explain Madonna's (early 90s, probably) lyrics to his driver (with, I think, not entirely-adequate Japanese). Some hilarity results.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:11 AM on October 11, 2013

I want Spike Lee to throw a trash can through the front window of this video.
posted by Optamystic at 8:11 AM on October 11, 2013 [15 favorites]

Fun fact: The baby in question grew up to be Ke$ha.
(Born in March of '87...raised by a single mother...it all fits)
posted by rocket88 at 8:11 AM on October 11, 2013 [8 favorites]

Did Captain Lou Albano ever make a video admitting that yes, girls just want to have fun?

It may be on here somewhere.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 8:12 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

May as well go full "Hudson Hawk". Ladies and Gentlemen, The Return of Bruno.
posted by Optamystic at 8:16 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

I can relate to being the villain in a song who wants to not be a villain. After a bit of Jack Daneils straight up one night, I wrote a sequel to the country song "Jolene" - a scathing, contemptuous rejection of Jolene's attempts at seduction by a stand-up guy deeply in love with a woman who considers herself plain. Because let's be frank - it's not Jolene's fault if the man leaves someone for her because of her looks, it's the man's. If I ever make it big in country, it will be because of that song, just so you know.
posted by Slap*Happy at 8:20 AM on October 11, 2013 [16 favorites]

Ooh, bad answer songs! How about (MC) Brian Wilson's collaboration with the Dust Brothers(?), telling folks that Smart Girls are where it's at, after all his years as a Beach Boy singing about ditzy, pretty ladies.

According to Questlove, this was after Paul's Boutique in 89, when Brian Wilson had let the heads of Capitol Records talk him into making a rap record with the producers of the Beastie Boys album, though WFMU's Beware of the Blog and the Wikipedia page for Sweet Insanity paint a different picture.

Here's a clip about the promotional cassette for the track, with credits reading "BRAINS & GENIUS presents SMART GIRLS Produced By: Brian Wilson & Eugene Landy" and it's co-engineered by Jeff Lord Alge, lesser known brother of Tom Lord Alge.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:24 AM on October 11, 2013 [7 favorites]

Whole lotta answer songs listed over on Wikipedia; by far, I think the best one would be This Land Is Your Land. Because, hell, who even knew it was an answer song?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 8:30 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

"I'm Really Not That Vain, So Stop Writing Songs About Me"
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:32 AM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

Man, there sure are a lot of secretly-great singers in Hollywood.

Too bad Danny Aiello is not one of them.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:32 AM on October 11, 2013

I was 22 when this song was released in 1986. I have bad habits older than you.
posted by vapidave at 8:37 AM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

I remember some weird answer song with a bunch of gangly, awkward priests and laypeople called "Madonna Don't Preach."

Yes yes yes thank you thank you thank you, I knew I didn't hallucinate this. They showed an excerpt on Entertainment Tonight or one of the other magazine shows that were popular at the time.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 8:40 AM on October 11, 2013

Ah man, I love Danny Aiello - he's one of those "Oh, it's THAT guy" actors for me. I think his answer song is really sweet in a deeply uncool way.
posted by muddgirl at 8:41 AM on October 11, 2013

I am working feverishly on my Greater Danny Aiello Unity Theory, in which Danny Aiello actually only plays a single character, who for various reasons keeps changing names, in everything he appears in.

Here, we see a younger Aiello trying desperately to keep his family together. Eventually tiring of the seemingly fruitless life of a bandannaed pickaxe swinger, he reconnects to his criminal roots, finding that his velvet voice (he can hit five tones!) and proclivity for banter makes him the ideal partner for an international jewel thief called "Hudson." Later, he turns his ill-gotten gains into a more secure investment in the restaurant business, both a pizza place where he frequently clashes with his employees and children, and also an Italian restaurant where he provides wise counsel and banking services to world-weary French assassins.
posted by Shepherd at 8:42 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

All songs should be legally required to have answer songs at the ready. Like Billi Jean could be paired with " That's fine but we're still doing the court mandated paternity test." or Jolene could have the rousing drinking anthem comeback " I'm sorry, I'm just too hot to hear you."
posted by The Whelk at 8:42 AM on October 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

I think the best one would be This Land Is Your Land. Because, hell, who even knew it was an answer song?

Bruce Springsteen, and anyone who has listened to Live 1975-1985.
posted by ogooglebar at 8:46 AM on October 11, 2013

Elsewhere, concerned '80s parents Caroline and Willard Smith, Sr. cut a song to let everyone know that they understand all too well...
posted by Strange Interlude at 8:47 AM on October 11, 2013 [5 favorites]

I was 22 when this song was released in 1986.

I was 26 or 27. And missed it completely. I guess I must've been off in a corner somewhere, indulging my inner shadows and angst with Einsturzende Neubauten and Current 93. The 80s were actually a brilliant time for music and culture in general if you were lucky enough to see a way through all the surface bullshit, of which Madonna was contributing way more than her share. But I can't write her off completely. Live to Tell was a great record that unlike much of her stuff, still sounds strong today. Even the 80s production cliches work for it.
posted by philip-random at 8:52 AM on October 11, 2013

Is this the thread where I mention The Yeastie Girlz "You Suck?"
posted by zippy at 9:03 AM on October 11, 2013 [3 favorites]

My favourite story about Danny Aiello is that he wouldn't let anyone in makeup touch his hair when he was on the set of Hudson Hawk—and that when his wife turned up on set at some point, it emerged during conversation that she, too, was forbidden to touch his hair (even during lovemaking) and had been for the duration of their marriage. (Admittedly, story is from in Richard E Grant's book With Nails, which I read fifteen years ago and am probably misremembering.) One imagines he was protecting the secrecy of his weave, but... maybe not? What, exactly, was up with Danny Aiello's hair? I like to think it was cursed.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 9:03 AM on October 11, 2013 [2 favorites]

it didn't do him any good on Hudson Hawk
posted by philip-random at 9:10 AM on October 11, 2013

Are you dissing Hudson Hawk? I swear to god I will cut you.
posted by EXISTENZ IS PAUSED at 9:13 AM on October 11, 2013 [5 favorites]

After you cut him, say "I guess you won't be going to that hat convention in July!"
posted by Pistache at 9:17 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ain't no threadfight like a Hudson Hawk threadfight because a Hudson Hawk threadfight involves lots of bizarre singing and dancing.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 9:22 AM on October 11, 2013 [5 favorites]

You asked for it...
posted by Optamystic at 9:25 AM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is all a much more satisfying intellectual current than we often get around here.
posted by brennen at 2:35 PM on October 11, 2013

OK, so I'm sitting down to re-watch Hudson Hawk in a few minutes. You all are evil.
posted by muddgirl at 6:43 PM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Somehow even better than I remembered. Danny Aiello is a national treasure.
posted by muddgirl at 8:55 PM on October 11, 2013 [1 favorite]

Okay, am I the only one who can't get the video player to play on that link?
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:09 PM on October 11, 2013

You know, I clearly remember watching that video (on MTV. hah!)as an adolescent boy and my memory seems to have selectively decided the entire video was Madonna in that bustier.

But now, watching it with my own daughter asleep in the next room, well, man, is it dusty in here or what?
posted by madajb at 11:52 PM on October 11, 2013

Why is the mama in this video like 70 years old? And why does her face pop up out of nowhere like a moon over the NYC skyline?? Creepy!
posted by torticat at 7:04 AM on October 12, 2013