Oh SNAPULARITY, Slavoj!
October 20, 2013 2:09 PM Subscribe
Not too into the Singularity? Here's a Powerpoint-style presentation featuring several Alternatives to the Singularity, such as The Discombobularity and the dreaded Zizekularity!
Actually if you click the down arrow next to the slide number (move your mouse to get it to appear at the bottom), there's a list of slide numbers and titles.
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:45 PM on October 20, 2013
posted by Pope Guilty at 2:45 PM on October 20, 2013
The Discombobularity? Inevitable.
The Wankularity? By 2036? We're way ahead of schedule.
The Fungularity? Maybe, but no fungus required, it'll all be jellyfish.
The Californularity? Sorry, dudes, but Time Magazine just declared that Texas is the Future of America, so it's The Texularity.
But all that really proves is that, 15 minutes after the list is 'finished', it's outdated. It's the Arityarity.
But seriously, this could've used a picture of Hypnotoad for half of the -ularities depicted.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:21 PM on October 20, 2013
The Wankularity? By 2036? We're way ahead of schedule.
The Fungularity? Maybe, but no fungus required, it'll all be jellyfish.
The Californularity? Sorry, dudes, but Time Magazine just declared that Texas is the Future of America, so it's The Texularity.
But all that really proves is that, 15 minutes after the list is 'finished', it's outdated. It's the Arityarity.
But seriously, this could've used a picture of Hypnotoad for half of the -ularities depicted.
posted by oneswellfoop at 3:21 PM on October 20, 2013
Then there's the listicularity, in which a listicle is posted and the blogosphere/twittersphere comes up with new additions faster than any human can read them.
posted by George_Spiggott at 3:45 PM on October 20, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by George_Spiggott at 3:45 PM on October 20, 2013 [3 favorites]
The 3DFaBankruptularity seemed so plausible that I become too sad to keep reading.
posted by erlking at 3:55 PM on October 20, 2013
posted by erlking at 3:55 PM on October 20, 2013
The MetaFilterularity, being the point at which any post on any conceivable subject will be a double.
posted by islander at 3:56 PM on October 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by islander at 3:56 PM on October 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
The Lanceularity- increased acceptance of performance-enhancing drugs in sports, combined with improved techniques in genetic manipulation leads to the emergence of a human subspecies of scrawny 7-foot-tall mutants with the VO2Max of a harp seal, who can climb Ventoux in under 30, and have an implacable hatred of crossover alt-country-pop singers.
The Arabstrapularity- everyone starts wearing cardigans and being mildly anxious about their increasingly fluid sexualities.
The Hulotularity- as we begin to rely more and more on digital applications to manage every aspect of our lives, these applications achieve a sort of collective sentience, and begin to dictate our every movement in what will eventually become a subtle yet tightly choreographed French physical comedy routine.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:23 PM on October 20, 2013
The Arabstrapularity- everyone starts wearing cardigans and being mildly anxious about their increasingly fluid sexualities.
The Hulotularity- as we begin to rely more and more on digital applications to manage every aspect of our lives, these applications achieve a sort of collective sentience, and begin to dictate our every movement in what will eventually become a subtle yet tightly choreographed French physical comedy routine.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 4:23 PM on October 20, 2013
Sorry, dudes, but Time Magazine just declared that Texas is the Future of America, so it's The Texularity.
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a cowboy boot stamping on a human face -- forever.
posted by Celsius1414 at 4:26 PM on October 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a cowboy boot stamping on a human face -- forever.
posted by Celsius1414 at 4:26 PM on October 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
The MetaFilterularity, being the point at which any post on any conceivable subject will be a double.Speaking of which, Bwithh linked to this presentation in reference to the Thomas Friedmangularity almost a year ago. This thing's got legs.
posted by Llama-Lime at 4:29 PM on October 20, 2013
The Stingularity: As the seas are taken over by jellyfish, the land is overrun by mutated descendants of the Giant Asian Hornet. They may not be able to get into your house unless you do something foolish like open a window, but every breath you take, they'll be watching you with their infrared-sensitive compound eyes.
posted by sfenders at 4:57 PM on October 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by sfenders at 4:57 PM on October 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
The Singularity is a pretty darned good stout, if a little richer than need be. Nevertheless, I am keeping one on hand in a cool dry place ... just in case.
posted by philip-random at 5:13 PM on October 20, 2013
posted by philip-random at 5:13 PM on October 20, 2013
The Symbiopsychotaxiplasmarity, the point at which more than a year's worth of documentaries-about-documentaries are produced in a single year, whereupon it becomes evident that our lives are merely director's commentaries happening over a real universe somewhere else
The Neologularity, in whench brandspanking slanguid wordblasms are incrained at a speedspiral megamore metastasupersizingly than is poshable to quashtion or deepfine
The Infographicularity, in which 99.9% of all human communication is conveyed with 90% fewer words in fonts 900% larger than necessary
posted by oulipian at 5:21 PM on October 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
The Neologularity, in whench brandspanking slanguid wordblasms are incrained at a speedspiral megamore metastasupersizingly than is poshable to quashtion or deepfine
The Infographicularity, in which 99.9% of all human communication is conveyed with 90% fewer words in fonts 900% larger than necessary
posted by oulipian at 5:21 PM on October 20, 2013 [2 favorites]
@sfenders: The Stingularity?
Wouldn't that be the point at which music begins drawing on influences that don't even exist yet? Something something Feyd-Rautha wearing a cod piece.
posted by Maugrim at 6:54 PM on October 20, 2013
Wouldn't that be the point at which music begins drawing on influences that don't even exist yet? Something something Feyd-Rautha wearing a cod piece.
posted by Maugrim at 6:54 PM on October 20, 2013
The Stigularity: The Stig, as seen on Top Gear, discovers a way to reproduce by building copies of himself from Volkswagen engine blocks and iPhone batteries. After six weeks of exponential growth there are 15 billion of them, mostly just standing motionless looking in the direction of Cupertino. The world is transformed in ways we can't even begin to imagine, due to the lack of working iPhones.
posted by sfenders at 7:19 PM on October 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by sfenders at 7:19 PM on October 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
"Everyone lives in their own world and has a million followers on Twitter (none of whom are real)"
They say this as though it wasn't already the case
posted by ook at 7:20 PM on October 20, 2013
They say this as though it wasn't already the case
posted by ook at 7:20 PM on October 20, 2013
They had me at "grumpy futurists."
posted by [insert clever name here] at 9:22 PM on October 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by [insert clever name here] at 9:22 PM on October 20, 2013 [1 favorite]
There's material for about a dozen science fiction novels in there,because 80% or more of the elements of all these ularities are plausible.
posted by lhauser at 5:52 AM on October 21, 2013
posted by lhauser at 5:52 AM on October 21, 2013
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posted by George_Spiggott at 2:26 PM on October 20, 2013 [5 favorites]