"It's easier to change a body than to change a mind."
October 26, 2013 8:27 PM   Subscribe

Cowell had been a racing driver, a Spitfire pilot and a prisoner of war – but her biggest challenge was to become the first person in Britain to undergo gender-reassignment surgery. Two years after Roberta Cowell's death, an obituary in the Independent.

"Two years ago, a 93-year-old woman died alone. She was found lying on the bedroom floor of her sheltered-housing accommodation in west London. The flat was so cluttered that the wardens struggled to remove her body. Half-a-dozen people attended the cremation, and news of her death did not spread beyond Twickenham. This is not how Roberta Cowell should be remembered. Yet, in a way, it was the ending she chose, after leading one of the most extraordinary lives of the 20th century. Before withdrawing from the world, she had been a racing driver, a Spitfire pilot and a prisoner of war. She had also been a man." Previously 1 (includes a link to Cowell's autobiography), 2.
posted by jokeefe (25 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
 
Second link includes a link to her extensive Wikipedia entry, which has been updated to include the announcement of her death.
posted by jokeefe at 8:30 PM on October 26, 2013


.
posted by Canageek at 9:01 PM on October 26, 2013


.
posted by aoxomoxoa at 9:16 PM on October 26, 2013


Brave on so many levels, but it is so sad that she felt it necessary to disassociate from her children when making her transition.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 9:48 PM on October 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 10:24 PM on October 26, 2013


.
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 10:49 PM on October 26, 2013


.
posted by hazyjane at 1:44 AM on October 27, 2013


Christ a lot of that language is fucking horrible.
posted by Dysk at 2:24 AM on October 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Like, the pronouns and names are all over the place, even within the same eras of Roberta's life (not that that would really excuse anything) which just makes it horribly confusing as well as insulting. Not fucking good enough, Independent.
posted by Dysk at 2:34 AM on October 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


The only pronoun issue I could see was calling her their father after she had transitioned - but I think that reflected her rejection of her daughters. She was their father, and not their mother, and so couldn't accept her role as their parent when she couldn't be their father.
posted by goo at 4:13 AM on October 27, 2013


Calling her 'her' is never an issue.
posted by Dysk at 4:20 AM on October 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


When the article discusses her time in the war, it variously uses both he and she, for example.
posted by Dysk at 4:26 AM on October 27, 2013


.
posted by ArmyOfKittens at 4:26 AM on October 27, 2013


Yep, I've reread it and you're right. At the beginning they use 'she' for the pre-war period and later, 'he' for the same period. It is confusing.
posted by goo at 4:29 AM on October 27, 2013


What a wonderful heroic lady. I'm so glad The Independent published this, sad she died alone when she had family who would have loved to have been a part of her life.
posted by oates at 4:48 AM on October 27, 2013


You are spot on Dysk, it is all over the shop:

"Before the war, as Bob, she (Cowell herself joked in her autobiography that one of the trickiest parts of undergoing gender reassignment was knowing which pronoun to use) had been a racing driver, competing at Brooklands in Surrey and in the Belgian Grand Prix. Later, Cowell became a fighter pilot, flying Tiger Moths and Spitfires. When her plane was shot down, she was captured and interned in Stalag Luft I."

WTF? They even have it there in black and fucking white in the quote from her autobiography and still they fuck it up.
posted by marienbad at 5:10 AM on October 27, 2013


Yeah. I don't know what happened here. But I can tell from that guardian article, that the elderly adult daughters still have issues with this.

Total dick move.


It's entirely possible/likely that it wasn't her choice, at least not completely. Historically, trans people were encouraged (and/or forced, given the power dynamics involved) to move and try to start entirely new lives when they transitioned. I would expect remaining in her daughters' lives was not perceived as an option by anyone involved in 1948. Likewise, choosing not to resume contact is a thing people do--people who were adopted find biological parents who don't want contact, for example--and I'm not really equipped to judge what one does when receiving a letter from a child one last saw forty years previously.
posted by hoyland at 5:42 AM on October 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


marienbad, the part you're quoting isn't an example of what I consider problematic pronoun use. If they were consistent with using female pronouns - addressing her as her chosen gender - I would not have a problem. Their use of male pronouns is problematic for me, and the fact that it isn't like it's consistently for her pre-transition life means that that justification (which I disagree strenuously with, but it is fairly commonplace in mainstream reporting of trans lives and identities) doesn't even work.
posted by Dysk at 5:48 AM on October 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


.
posted by yeoz at 5:54 AM on October 27, 2013


Don't you just love the way that instead of discussing this persons extraordinary brave and adventurous life that all we can do is insert ourselves into the story by squabbling about pronouns.
Stalag Luft I alone deserves further exploration.
posted by adamvasco at 6:48 AM on October 27, 2013


don't you just love the way that instead of feeling it's important to respectfully acknowledge this person's gender throughout the article you think we need to just stop "squabbling"
posted by titus n. owl at 7:09 AM on October 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


Mod note: One comment deleted. Maybe let's go ahead talk and about what is interesting here, rather than about whether other people are talking about the part we find interesting?
posted by LobsterMitten (staff) at 7:18 AM on October 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


.
posted by Foosnark at 8:01 AM on October 27, 2013


Both daughters wish they could have met Betty in later life. "I just think it's sad we could never be friends," says Anne, "especially now we know that at the end she died alone in sheltered housing."

"She was an extraordinary woman," says Diana. " I would have loved to have been with her before she died, and said, we are your family, and whatever happens there is a bond that nothing can change."


That's so sad. Not only that her daughters couldn't find her, but that they seem like they would have been both a comfort to and comforted by knowing this extraordinary woman.
posted by xingcat at 8:42 AM on October 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


What an interesting, sad and brave life.

.
posted by billiebee at 10:20 AM on October 27, 2013


« Older Cat Power: Super Mario 3D World preview   |   Ransomware & Rogues Galore Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments