It's already extensive.
November 5, 2013 6:27 AM   Subscribe

 
Rats. I thought this was going to be about birds.
posted by jquinby at 6:38 AM on November 5, 2013 [14 favorites]


Sample...

#419: Oprah Winfrey

Diagnosis: One of the most dangerous, vile beings in the US, and the universe.

posted by fairmettle at 6:39 AM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh?

Oh!

Oh. :(

People work so hard at wanting to believe something unique and special because the alternatives are rather echoingly sad. (not depressed, just empathizing)
posted by tilde at 6:39 AM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


Nice to see George Deutsch here, but I don't think "loon" is strong enough. It's definitely not strong enough for Newt Gingrich.
posted by ryanshepard at 6:41 AM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


Why are they all Caucasian?

...?

Because this SITE of the "AMERICAN LOONS," who are really WARRIOR HEROES is nothing but MORE CONSPIRACY promoted by the SATAN WORSHIPPERS hiding on the electronic bits floating between your ROUTER and your STREET, to DESTROY the reputation of the proud ivory skinned children of Universe. Wake up SHEEPLE!

seriously, though... why are they all white?
posted by Debaser626 at 6:52 AM on November 5, 2013 [5 favorites]


There are some POC on here, but yeah, it's overwhelmingly white.
posted by josher71 at 6:55 AM on November 5, 2013


So, when I was a very small eriko, which was a *very* long time ago, my grandparents took me to Minnesota to go fishing, because, well, we're Scandinavian, that's what we do. And there are two kinds of fishing Scandinavians do.

One, you sit at the end of a pier. We weren't doing that.

The other, you sit in a slowly moving boat with a line in the water, hoping beyond hope something bites your lure. This, btw, is where the word "trolling" come from, because that's what it's called. So, we're trolling.

I finally get a bite. Very small (I mentioned this was a long time ago, yes?) me gets excited, starts reeling, and the rod is *yanked* out of my hand. Grampa grabs it, and busts out laughing.

Why?

(The next sentence is the literal truth.)

Because, while trolling, little eriko caught a loon.

A very loud and pissed off loon, mind you. Grampa finally gets the loon close enough, and tired enough, to unhook it. The loon floats there for a minute, gives me a look that says "someday, I will kill you" and then swims away.

To this day, I don't trust waterfowl. Somewhere, one one them has sworn revenge for his father.
posted by eriko at 7:08 AM on November 5, 2013 [18 favorites]


Rats. I thought this was going to be about birds.

Ditto. I read it as being about looms.

I have a problem with vintage machinery obsessions ok? Leave me alone.
posted by RolandOfEld at 7:24 AM on November 5, 2013 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: Elegantly combines conspiracy theory with numerology and free use of capslock to derive many, uh, novel results.
posted by 445supermag at 7:36 AM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


the alternatives are rather echoingly sad

Or so it seems to those brought up on religion and superstition. It is sad when we find out that the Tooth Fairy doesn't take our teeth away to build her magical castle and that Christmas presents really come from our parents, but really the limitlessness of the universe and science is plenty exciting and should keep people happy in knowing that human endevour may yet create technology that obeys the laws of physics but is indistinguishable from magic.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 7:40 AM on November 5, 2013


Loons are pretty interesting. In addition to their loony call, they do a loon dance that makes them look loony. Far preferred to many of the loons in the posted site.
posted by theora55 at 7:45 AM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


Arizona, Tennessee, Texas, Florida, Georgia, California, Oregon, Idaho, California, ?????, Ohio (out of action) and Illinois/Indiana( I forget). I was just curious where some of the fine folks on the first several pages come from. A little googling and searching the text. Disappointed to see Oregon and the mid-west (though only marginally) represented.
posted by rmhsinc at 7:55 AM on November 5, 2013


The loons, Norman, the loons!
posted by briank at 7:57 AM on November 5, 2013


their loony call

When I'm up in the north country on a cool, misty morning sitting on the banks of some river or lake listening to the loons, I always think they sound like a rotund, Victorian lady taking a dip in the chilly water.
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 8:02 AM on November 5, 2013


This is like a Peterson's Guide to North American Nutjobs!
posted by Thorzdad at 8:08 AM on November 5, 2013


It is sad when we find out that the Tooth Fairy doesn't take our teeth away to build her magical castle

Oh is that was she was supposedly doing? That's just made me realise I never cared enough to ask why she took them, as long as she left me the cold hard cash.
posted by billiebee at 8:11 AM on November 5, 2013 [2 favorites]


I don't have the heart to search and find out how many of them are in some state's legislature.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:26 AM on November 5, 2013


It is sad when we find out that the Tooth Fairy doesn't take our teeth away to build her magical castle

Thanks a lot. I haven't even watched the first season yet.
posted by octobersurprise at 8:28 AM on November 5, 2013 [2 favorites]


It is sad when we find out that the Tooth Fairy doesn't take our teeth away to build her magical castle

Thanks a lot. I haven't even watched the first season yet.



"Hello there. I'm the Tooth Fairy. And I doth come --" *slam*

 
posted by Herodios at 8:53 AM on November 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


No William Cooper? That seems kinda of a big miss for an "encyclopedia".
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 9:04 AM on November 5, 2013


I miss Dickipedia.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:07 AM on November 5, 2013




No. No no no no no!

I have work to do!
posted by nerdler at 9:17 AM on November 5, 2013


My grandmother used to do a loon call to tell everyone it was time for dinner. This would be in the Summer when we were all staying at a place together by a lake.
posted by Area Man at 10:23 AM on November 5, 2013


The Beast's 50 Most Loathsome People came early this year?
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:45 PM on November 5, 2013


One of my favorite things about camping is falling asleep to loon calls. Other birds have shrill, bubbly songs, but the loon is very soothing.
posted by foobaz at 1:25 PM on November 5, 2013


- “Biblical spanking” ?
posted by The Whelk at 3:26 PM on November 5, 2013


Thorzdad: This is like a Peterson's Guide to North American Nutjobs!

Needs more classification though, and maybe a key. Having them all in one big alphabetical list makes it hard to use in the field.

"Internet Trolls - page 23"
"Obsessive capslock users - page 65"
"Politicians - page 2"

That kind of thing.
posted by sneebler at 6:46 AM on November 6, 2013


- “Biblical spanking” ?

It's called "burning the other cheek."
posted by octobersurprise at 7:03 AM on November 6, 2013


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