Prolly I’ll just flush all this soup down the toilet. . .?
November 20, 2013 11:12 AM   Subscribe

Actor Michael Cera invents a twisted text message relationship between actor Michael Cera and the unsuspecting "Jeremy" in a Shouts & Murmurs piece for the New Yorker.
posted by Clustercuss (72 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
(i will admit to laughing so hard my stomach hurt while reading this)
posted by mwhybark at 11:15 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


I assumed this was fiction- he's claiming it's real?
posted by kanewai at 11:24 AM on November 20, 2013


True fact: at the Brooklyn IRL with flapjax at midnight this past weekend, Michael Cera was sitting at the table next to us.
posted by 1970s Antihero at 11:25 AM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]


I thought Michael Cera's range was limited. Then I saw him in This Is The End and absolutely loved his unexpectedly messed-up, coked-out, misogynistic pig of a character.

note: they kill him in the first 15 minutes, and the rest of the movie is terrible.
posted by sixohsix at 11:29 AM on November 20, 2013 [4 favorites]


"...he's claiming it's real?"

No, Michael Cera isn't real. He's a fictional character created for the TV show "I Was a Sixth Grade Alien" in 1999. Had a heck of a great run, though.
posted by Kevin Street at 11:30 AM on November 20, 2013 [5 favorites]


This made me weirdly uncomfortable.
posted by aramaic at 11:36 AM on November 20, 2013 [18 favorites]


I thought Michael Cera's range was limited. Then I saw him in This Is The End and absolutely loved his unexpectedly messed-up, coked-out, misogynistic pig of a character.

note: they kill him in the first 15 minutes, and the rest of the movie is terrible.


Man, I'm glad someone else said it. I wish the movie had been a redemption arc for Cera with the same apocalyptic backgrounding instead of the extended game of "riff and slap-ass" with Seth Rogan's superfriends.
posted by codacorolla at 11:37 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh come on, man, really? I don't want to totally derail but my wife and I thought This is the End was hysterical. I am sad other people on the internet have opinions that differ from my own.
posted by kbanas at 11:40 AM on November 20, 2013 [10 favorites]


I thought Michael Cera's range was limited. Then I saw him in This Is The End and absolutely loved his unexpectedly messed-up, coked-out, misogynistic pig of a character.

note: they kill him in the first 15 minutes, and the rest of the movie is terrible.


Someone clearly did not smoke enough weed before watching.
posted by alpinist at 11:43 AM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


.... and my streak of never being able to make it through a Shouts & Murmurs piece is broken!
posted by brand-gnu at 11:43 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Did this take place on a Brooklyn rooftop?
posted by dr_dank at 11:57 AM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Jeremy should have FaceBlocked him.
posted by ian1977 at 12:06 PM on November 20, 2013 [9 favorites]


Man, if this is real (which I doubt), it was so brutally condescending.

I'm not familiar with the Shouts & Murmurs thing; is this supposed to be real or is it expected to be fake?
posted by staccato signals of constant information at 12:18 PM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]


what?
posted by nathancaswell at 12:23 PM on November 20, 2013


like, if this is real, then "what?"... and if it's fake, then "why?"
posted by nathancaswell at 12:26 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


You never know which Cera will show up. In this case, it seems to be the Magic Magic Cera.
posted by Bunny Ultramod at 12:29 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


This reminds me that, despite having never met or spoken to him, I have Jason Schwartzman's number in my phone. It definitely was authentic at one point, though odds are good he's changed it by now.
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:31 PM on November 20, 2013


I really like Michael Cera as an actor, but he should know better than this.

Besides the fact that he's being kind of a dick to an innocent person, he's printed "Jeremy's" writing verbatim, presumably without permission and without giving him credit. The authorship of this is at least 50% Jeremy's, he just has the misfortune not to be the famous guy pulling the not-very-clever joke.
posted by drjimmy11 at 12:36 PM on November 20, 2013


There is no Jeremy.
posted by mochapickle at 12:36 PM on November 20, 2013 [10 favorites]


"like, if this is real, then "what?"... and if it's fake, then "why?""

It's a little story about human connections. We have the technology to be instantly connected with a billion people at any time, but we almost never use it. (Cold call or text strangers, that is.) Our lives and different experiences isolate us still.
posted by Kevin Street at 12:37 PM on November 20, 2013


I was Jeremy.
posted by Caskeum at 12:37 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is not real. This is a made up joke. Jeremy is imaginary. Also THIS IS TOTALLY HILARIOUS.
posted by capnsue at 12:38 PM on November 20, 2013 [5 favorites]


I've been reading the New Yorker for 10+ years and I've never seen a non-fiction Shouts and Murmurs piece.
posted by griphus at 12:39 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Leave it to the New Yorker to use this garbage-ass typography for a supposed text message conversation. Seriously use iOS speech bubbles or at least red/blue AIM style.
posted by scose at 12:40 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


Now I am wondering if people read Dracula and then started knocking on Bram Stoker's door demanding to know why he did not hand these letters over to the police.
posted by griphus at 12:42 PM on November 20, 2013 [37 favorites]


Or at least Arthur Conan Doyle! He'd know what to do.
posted by Kevin Street at 12:44 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've been reading the New Yorker for 10+ years and I've never seen a non-fiction Shouts and Murmurs piece.

It's kind of a creative writing grab bag, isn't it? For example, I don't think the 72 virgins Steve Martin wrote about actually exist. (But if they do, I am going to name them all Jeremy.)
posted by mochapickle at 12:45 PM on November 20, 2013


Totally, profoundly mystifying to me that people could be confused about whether or not this is fiction.
posted by the bricabrac man at 12:59 PM on November 20, 2013 [7 favorites]


This was super awkward to read, but I liked that Cera included all the obviously late night talk show standard phrases like "“Year One”! a comedy I made with Jack Black. really cool guy", like even in a completely unplanned, random interaction with a stranger, he's stuck in publicist-mandated celebrity-speak.
posted by yasaman at 1:01 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love the ways he plays with his persona, every time he plays himself. Like how in this one he keeps to the humble character but then he always capitalizes Me. Love.
posted by Mchelly at 1:15 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Wow. I don't get it. I agree that it's fake, but where is the funny? It is just a bunch of goofy back and forth that is mostly awkward.

Also, you missed the haha tag.
posted by Clinging to the Wreckage at 1:20 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


MichaelCera: Just a bunch of goofy back and forth that is mostly awkward.
posted by griphus at 1:21 PM on November 20, 2013 [6 favorites]


I literally just read this on the train. Now I feel smug because I understand Shouts and Murmurs and its associated culture.

Fun fact: Jesse Eisenberg is a contributor too.

But still...they really should have asked Jeremy's permission.

That is a joke, by the way!
posted by bquarters at 1:23 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


Totally, profoundly mystifying to me that people could be confused about whether or not this is fiction.

Are you saying it's obviously fiction? Why?

I honestly can't tell.
posted by dgaicun at 1:23 PM on November 20, 2013


Well, I mean, it's the New Yorker, not Maxim. They don't generally make it their business to publish pranks people pull on one another unless it's like a 10 page investigative reporting piece on the concept and history of a "prank."
posted by griphus at 1:29 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


this was really great. Quite good. It's just... I think that actors using Capital Letters to talk about themSelves is laying it on a liiiiitle too thick.
posted by rebent at 1:32 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


Okay, I'll bite. It's obviously fiction because it's flat-out absurd.

Its premise is that Michael Cera is so needy and friendless that he gloms onto a random stranger who texted him by mistake, and pesters him for months with increasingly desperate requests to hang out...inverting what you would expect to happen should some random stranger obtain the ability to text with a famous person.

Hope that helps.
posted by the bricabrac man at 1:33 PM on November 20, 2013 [13 favorites]




When the Obama campaign gave me the number of a Florida "undecided" voter to call in 2012 I totally should have maintained the relationship beyond the election. We had a nice long talk, we bonded, I learned about his hopes and dreams. I think I could have gotten a Shouts and Murmurs out of it, had I been a little more condescending and much, much more famous.
posted by stupidsexyFlanders at 1:39 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's obviously fiction because it's flat-out absurd.

I don't know, this Cera guy does seem pretty pompous and self-centered.
posted by burnmp3s at 1:48 PM on November 20, 2013 [4 favorites]


I'd quite like to see someone less lazy than me put together a best-of-shouts-and-murmurs megapost. Here's my favourite: "What We're Doing"
posted by Pre-Taped Call In Show at 1:58 PM on November 20, 2013


I couldn't help but hear the article in the voice of, for some reason, Jack McBrayer.
posted by lore at 2:02 PM on November 20, 2013


drjimmy11: "I really like Michael Cera as an actor, but he should know better than this.

Besides the fact that he's being kind of a dick to an innocent person, he's printed "Jeremy's" writing verbatim, presumably without permission and without giving him credit. The authorship of this is at least 50% Jeremy's, he just has the misfortune not to be the famous guy pulling the not-very-clever joke.
"

You think that's bad? Wait until Michael Cera finds out about this Michael Cera guy. Because, he wrote, like, the other 50% of the material, and he has enough money to hire the lawyers and metafiltering sue the metafiltering pants off this Michael Cera.
posted by IAmBroom at 2:03 PM on November 20, 2013 [8 favorites]


Its premise is that Michael Cera is so needy and friendless that he gloms onto a random stranger who texted him by mistake, and pesters him for months with increasingly desperate requests to hang out...inverting what you would expect to happen should some random stranger obtain the ability to text with a famous person.

And then, once he actually does manage to make human contact with this stranger, he abuses his trust by doing... something with his girlfriend.

It actually reminds me of the sketch comedy that Cera did before/while blowing up with his inescapable George Michael role, Clark and Michael, where a completely weird and unfit person (or pair, in the case of the series) either tries to become famous or deals with the consequences of that fame.

According to Wikipedia's Michael Cera page, his idol is Bill Murray. I'd like to see a similar career arc where Cera can break out of his type-casting and is able to grow as a comedic actor. My other dream project is where Jesse Eisenberg and Michael Cera co-star in a movie about identical twins.
posted by codacorolla at 2:07 PM on November 20, 2013


I have it on good authority that this piece was actually written by George Maharis.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:15 PM on November 20, 2013 [13 favorites]


Him?
posted by Twain Device at 2:18 PM on November 20, 2013 [5 favorites]


Ha! I'm seeing Michael Cera on Friday at a Q&A. What should I try to ask him?

(And yeah, I'm going to take it at face value that Jeremy is fictional.)
posted by tooloudinhere at 2:32 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


unless it's like a 10 page investigative reporting piece on the concept and history of a "prank."

Oh gosh, I would read THE HELL out of that.

Get on it, wouldya?
posted by Elsa at 2:37 PM on November 20, 2013


If you listen to any given commentary track on the Arrested Developmemt DVDs, eventually you'll hear everyone talk about how Michael Cera was the most brilliant cast member of all.
posted by Room 641-A at 2:41 PM on November 20, 2013


This Is The End is not a horrible movie, just really spotty. A series of sketches with a vague apocalypse theme. But Cera's performance was the performance of his career so far. He is so often criticized for playing certain types (namely: himself) that it makes one wonder if those people have forgotten about the concept of character actors. So in the movie where he actually plays Michael Cera, it's an entitled coked out douchecanoe who gets the living fuck slapped out of him by Rhianna. That totally makes up for Year One.
posted by mediocre at 2:44 PM on November 20, 2013


Oh gosh, I would read THE HELL out of that.

Was there a period in time when pranks were a Thing? I bet there is something in the archives from when the Jerky Boys or Jackass peaked in the zeitgeist.

Probably by Calvin Trillin.
posted by griphus at 3:08 PM on November 20, 2013


best-of-shouts-and-murmurs megapost

So it would be about 5 articles long? :-o

I love the New Yorker and have subscribed for years, and in my opinion Shouts and Murmurs is funny about once every 2-3 years!
posted by cell divide at 3:09 PM on November 20, 2013


I just want to know why no one noticed Woody Allen has since 1978 been submitting the same piece with the silly Jewish names and topical references changed.
posted by griphus at 3:14 PM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]


It actually reminds me of the sketch comedy that Cera did before/while blowing up with his inescapable George Michael role, Clark and Michael, where a completely weird and unfit person (or pair, in the case of the series) either tries to become famous or deals with the consequences of that fame.

IMO Clark and Michael is the best thing he's done so far outside of Arrested Development. I wouldn't mind a glimpse into the world in which it's Cera and not Rogen at the center of a close circle of friends who keep making movie after movie together, if it meant more of him and Clark Duke on screen together.
posted by jason_steakums at 3:18 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Okay, I'll bite. It's obviously fiction because it's flat-out absurd.

Its premise is that Michael Cera is so needy and friendless that he gloms onto a random stranger who texted him by mistake, and pesters him for months with increasingly desperate requests to hang out...


Further, it would be really weird if it were non-fiction, because it would mean that, for some inexplicable reason, Cera decided to publish it in the New Yorker, who also agree to publish it, also inexplicably.

I thought this was kind of brilliant but not very funny, mainly because it was just so uncomfortable to read. I had to stop a few times because the "Michael Cera" character was just so awkward and needy and desperate. Sometimes I like that sort of "uncomfortable" humor, a la the British Office, but this was just too much.
posted by lunasol at 3:48 PM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]


(A bit off-topic, but I do wish the New Yorker wouldn't incorporate the cartoons with the articles online. It never happens when I read the print version, but I keep expecting them to be relevant to the text.)
posted by Lou Stuells at 3:51 PM on November 20, 2013 [3 favorites]


"Actor" Michael Cera?
posted by ReeMonster at 4:14 PM on November 20, 2013


I guess the actual comedic conceit here is that random people glom on to celebrities by assuming that a casual connection equals friendship (and it's not unheard of for these random people to invite celebs to parties or casually suggest the celeb stop by) and Cera is riffing on this idea by turning the tables. It's actually funnier if you imagine a different celebrity (even a regular S'n'M writer) writing this: Steve Martin, or Woody Allen, or David Sedaris, or...

I think this actually backfires on Cera because his persona is so awkward/vulnerable. And I think that that's the intent, weirdly.
posted by mochapickle at 4:24 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Sometimes I like that sort of "uncomfortable" humor, a la the British Office, but this was just too much.

I had the same reaction and I'm usually a fan of "cringe comedy". For me, I think it had to do with the fact that it's in print, and print may be (for me) too inherently intimate of medium to maintain a necessary emotional detachment.
posted by treepour at 4:44 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Well, I mean, it's the New Yorker, not Maxim. They don't generally make it their business to publish pranks people pull on one another unless it's...

The New Yorker publishes comedic non-fiction all the time (e.g. David Sedaris).

Okay, I'll bite. It's obviously fiction because it's flat-out absurd ... Its premise is that Michael Cera is so needy and friendless that he gloms onto a random stranger who texted him by mistake...

I assumed he was doing it to amuse himself. Because he's friendly. Because it's something interesting to do. Because it makes an interesting story. I once developed a friendship with someone who dialed the wrong number for all these reasons. This isn't much different save the additional celebrity/civilian aspect (which makes it more interesting, but not less plausible).

I don't know. It wouldn't be surprising if it's fiction, but it doesn't strike me as obviously fake.
posted by dgaicun at 4:54 PM on November 20, 2013


Uhhhh... did you get to the end where it's implied he sleeps/fools around with another man's girlfriend and is caught in the act? It's fiction.
posted by codacorolla at 5:23 PM on November 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


Already I had become fascinated with Jeremy. It was clear that he was unsure exactly where the boundaries lay between celebrity and civilian, and he was afraid of accidentally overextending himself.

I misread that as "overtextsending himself" and was made very pungiddy. Now I realize my mistake and am furious.
posted by sarastro at 5:35 PM on November 20, 2013


OMG Michael Cera is acting like a totally desparate stalker creep from the get-go. Look how many times he texts Jeremy vs. how many times Jeremy responds. Jeremy won't give him his last name, tells him he's acting crazy... not sure why this seems like a real thing, unless Michael Cera wants everyone on the planet to know that if you accidentally make contact with him he's making copious soup, guilt trippin your ass, and inviting himself to your sister's on Christmas even when you tell him 'no'.
posted by oneirodynia at 5:36 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


It seems like the thrill of the thing derives from a kind of suspended judgment about what Jeremy thinks is going on and what he makes of it. Does he actually believe he's got THE Michael Cera on the line, is he just taking things at face value, or WHAT? And then do we think the report (which takes the reader into a further intimate context, which is about Jeremy but excludes him, literally the setup is that we're the buddies of Michael Cera hearing tales of the fascinating Jeremy) is authentic or not? So the reader is in a kind of parallel situation there, albeit with different facts and asymmetric access to Cera. So that's kind of interesting I guess. But doesn't all that more or less boil down to it being the case that an improbable casually intimate brush with celebrity is, like, very exciting? But is it actually very exciting? Cera isn't especially obnoxious or anything, and some of the twerpy dialogue is kind of funny in and of itself, but this is basically just celebrity fetishism right? Wow, Michael Cera is a celebrity!
posted by batfish at 6:37 PM on November 20, 2013


I sort of took it like a flip of such a standard situation. The celebrity stalks the nobody instead of the other way around. It's like sketch comedy in txt form. Taking an extremely absurd premise and seeing what the logical conclusion of that is.
posted by codacorolla at 6:49 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


Very funny and well written good job "Michael Sera".
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:19 PM on November 20, 2013 [2 favorites]


I sort of took it like a flip of such a standard situation. The celebrity stalks the nobody instead of the other way around. It's like sketch comedy in txt form. Taking an extremely absurd premise and seeing what the logical conclusion of that is.

I read that thing (celebrity pesters nobody) more as the pretense Cera is putting on within the story rather than the pretense of the story itself. As I read it, the pretense of the story itself is that it's semi-plausibly true (there's a kind of andy kaufman-ish tone of putting-on), and I think that is in some sense the desired reading, since it does actually provoke people to speculate about whether it's true (although it's clearly not).
posted by batfish at 8:35 PM on November 20, 2013


We are all Jeremy
posted by From Bklyn at 11:29 PM on November 20, 2013


wait, no, I take that back
posted by From Bklyn at 11:40 PM on November 20, 2013


I guess the actual comedic conceit here is that random people glom on to celebrities by assuming that a casual connection equals friendship (and it's not unheard of for these random people to invite celebs to parties or casually suggest the celeb stop by) and Cera is riffing on this idea by turning the tables. It's actually funnier if you imagine a different celebrity (even a regular S'n'M writer) writing this: Steve Martin, or Woody Allen, or David Sedaris, or...

I think this actually backfires on Cera because his persona is so awkward/vulnerable. And I think that that's the intent, weirdly.
posted by mochapickle at 7:24 PM on November 20 [1 favorite −] Favorite added! [!]


I think this is exactly the right reading.
posted by OmieWise at 6:34 AM on November 21, 2013


I read Jeremy as Tracy Morgan. I don't know why.
posted by stormpooper at 6:57 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


FYI Michael Cera in person looks exactly like you'd picture him, plaid shirt, skinny jeans, and all.
posted by tooloudinhere at 5:32 PM on November 27, 2013


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