"The man who told me it had a moustache."

November 21, 2013 8:52 AM

I can't rightly vouch for this story but a fellah told me when he was a young'n, didn't his mother wake him early on a weekend...

Norm MacDonald has spent the last 9 hours tweeting a set of rambling Faulknerian jokes.
posted by Iridic (23 comments total)

"I bet the 'board' is spelled 'B-O-R-E-D.'"
posted by Ghost Mode at 8:55 AM on November 21, 2013 [3 favorites]

well, it ain't no horse_ebooks, that's fer sure.
posted by k5.user at 8:56 AM on November 21, 2013

I'll need a storify of this, stat.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:56 AM on November 21, 2013

Also didn't he used to have over 500k followers? What a goddamn genius.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:56 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

If Norm MacDonald had revealed he were Andy Kaufman's secret offspring, I would have believed it.
posted by Etrigan at 9:07 AM on November 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

It's far too easy to hear him relating these in his voice, with Conan and Andy trying and failing to keep from cracking up. I'm actually reading them slowly to match his cadence.
posted by phong3d at 9:12 AM on November 21, 2013 [3 favorites]

The fun thing is that 99% of his Twitter is sports and poker livetweets.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:18 AM on November 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

I follow Norm. He tweets in bursts. He has given the play by play of football games, and now this. I keep waiting for the really funny stuff, but alas, not yet.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:32 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'll need a storify of this, stat.

There's still 9+ days in NaNoWriMo, get on it! (Says the fella with 600 words scrawled out so far.)
posted by filthy light thief at 9:43 AM on November 21, 2013

Norm's a complicated fellow. Sort of a reactionary misogynist douche.

But that Saget roast. And the moth joke. And this....
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 9:44 AM on November 21, 2013

In case you weren't aware, Norm also occasionally hosts a book club on Twitter.
posted by Toekneesan at 10:01 AM on November 21, 2013

Sort of a reactionary misogynist douche.

Ugh, I'm probably better off not knowing aren't I?
posted by Hoopo at 10:33 AM on November 21, 2013

Read these in the voice of Garrison Keillor delivering the News from Lake Wobegon and they're even better.
posted by jason_steakums at 10:48 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Spoiler: Turns out, his mother is a fish.
posted by maryr at 11:00 AM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Sort of a reactionary misogynist douche.

To be fair, he at least admits that he's ignorant about most things (politics in particular), which is more than can be said of most people.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:40 AM on November 21, 2013

Sort of a reactionary misogynist douche.

Calling someone a "douche" is a sexist insult, so check yourself.
posted by Brocktoon at 12:46 PM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is like watching him tell the moth joke in a million little parts. Minus the nasal Norm monotone, and me laughing like a madman.
posted by Rykey at 12:51 PM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Calling someone a "douche" is a sexist insult, so check yourself.

douche (n): a thing that is at best useless and at worst harmful to women and so should not be used in or near a vagina
posted by phunniemee at 1:17 PM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Norm MacDonald has been on a career-long Kaufmann-esque experiment of seeing just how many people will laugh at essentially anything as long as it is said by someone that they've been told is a comedian.
posted by badstone at 1:50 PM on November 21, 2013 [6 favorites]

I love Norm's twitter feed. He's intelligent and has carved out a distinct niche for himself, often venturing into some pretty strange and experimental territory.
posted by Flashman at 2:22 PM on November 21, 2013

I clicked over in my web browser and was reminded that I haven't figured out a good way to read 'long-form' tweets. Right now I scroll down and sort of speed read slash guess where a joke starts, then scroll back up as I read it. There must be a better way.

For anyone in a similar position to mine, the first joke in the series starts I can't rightly vouch for this story but a fellah told me when he was a youg'n, didn't his mother wake him early on a weekend. And from like the day before, just a few below the 'Faulknerian' stuff, there's I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger and then suddenly it hit me. Which is classic Norm.
posted by carsonb at 2:26 PM on November 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

I retweeted the entire joke about the three guys who die and go to heaven (which, to be fair, is very much worth it) simply to provide context for the amazing Easter egg throwaway line (dead guy to Saint Peter):

Hanging his head in shame phil says, "Honestly,Pete, I was with maybe 2 or 3 broads a week.I'm a dentist and it's a promiscuous line of work
posted by kittens for breakfast at 3:34 PM on November 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

I've generally tuned him out based on first person reports from two very kind and decent acquaintances of mine who worked with him years ago and independently described him as a first class asshole, but in reading over this recent material I find its scattered bizarreness rather enjoyable - who knew?
posted by jalexei at 7:18 PM on November 21, 2013