if P and Q are polynomials, let O1 be the order of blessed
December 5, 2013 1:09 PM   Subscribe

King James Programming – "posts generated by a Markov chain trained on the King James Bible and Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs." SLTumbler
posted by tss (17 comments total) 25 users marked this as a favorite
Reminds me of LoseThos's stuff. Songs from God.
posted by curuinor at 1:20 PM on December 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Damnit I was just writing this post (I even chose the exact same title quote...)
posted by aspo at 1:22 PM on December 5, 2013

Now to do a version with Haskell and the Quran.

"And verily we have written in the Scripture, after the Reminder: My righteous monads will inherit the earth"
posted by pwnguin at 1:24 PM on December 5, 2013

Type Checking the Prophet.
posted by benito.strauss at 1:39 PM on December 5, 2013 [1 favorite]

Didn't there used to me a Markov thing using Metafilter comments? I miss that.
posted by exogenous at 2:11 PM on December 5, 2013

Righteous Monads is a most excellent 90s band name. Totally.
posted by eviemath at 2:18 PM on December 5, 2013

This is hilarious.
posted by pulposus at 2:23 PM on December 5, 2013

This is really awesome.
posted by GuyZero at 2:33 PM on December 5, 2013

This inspired me to whip together some perl (and an off-the-shelf Markov chain module) to mash up the King James Version Bible and the Complete Works of H. P. Lovecraft.
the Necronomicon. I had no remembrance of us not; and I have received the linen clothes, even the small piece of architecture to be for ever. And this shall be with him, and the figure robed men which was finally free ...

the woman was now of fiendish subjects I had spoken unto me as Sodom, it as merciful that hadn't ought to be speakin' at all. "Steve he within the castle below. Then unexpectedly my present one – for its staring surveillance ...

the strangely open doorway with the generation of poets is enormous. These objects were waddling busily about were five and shall become heaps, and the mountain of the Philistines was badly and to withstand thee? And she brought forth out of ...
I think it needs some fine tuning, but it shows promise.
posted by cstross at 2:50 PM on December 5, 2013 [6 favorites]

22:14 The mouth of strange women is a deep and wonderful property of computation.

True dat.
posted by billiebee at 2:52 PM on December 5, 2013 [2 favorites]

Didn't there used to me a Markov thing using Metafilter comments? I miss that.

I'm sure such a thing exists, but I find the deleted posts trained markov chain more amusing. Or did, until it became offline. I may have to demand the source code and input so I may cram it into a heroku/openshift gear.
posted by pwnguin at 4:59 PM on December 5, 2013

Looks like MarkovFilter passed into the ether some years back. cortex, paging cortex to the white courtesey phone
posted by exogenous at 7:39 PM on December 5, 2013

The results sound just like my programming language professor.

Seriously, he regularly talked about how Standard ML was a gift from god
posted by destrius at 9:31 PM on December 5, 2013

I like to imagine this as a coding standards document from a post-apocalyptic future, where they have to maintain some software but go about it in a cargo-cultish way.
posted by Harald74 at 12:23 AM on December 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

symbols, whose values are looked up in the court of the LORD’s glory

I suspected as much. Does this mean that lisp-2 languages are Manichean heresies?
posted by hattifattener at 12:57 AM on December 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

arrange for primitive-apply to dispatch to an appropriate package according to the word of the LORD in that day

Are we sure about the Markov chain thing? Because it looks like they just got my customers' requirements document and replaced CEO with LORD.
posted by Dr Dracator at 4:29 AM on December 6, 2013 [1 favorite]

cstross: "I wonder: if I run it for long enough, will it emit a fully-formed draft of the Necronomicon?

Only one way to find out—open source it! Blasphemous esoteric knowledge not meant for human minds wants to be free!
posted by Doktor Zed at 3:28 PM on December 7, 2013

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