"Just trying to make all these things work, okay?"

January 8, 2014 2:04 PM

Here is a baby polar bear trying to take its first steps and not quite succeeding.
posted by mightygodking (48 comments total)

From Toronto Zoo. It's probably during one of his drunken stupors.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 2:06 PM on January 8, 2014 [21 favorites]

Oh Jesus Christ, I've just been reduced to nothing but "OHMYGOD THAT BELLEH. LET ME RUB THAT BELLEH. LITTLE LOLAR BEAR I LUUUUVVVV YOU"




I used to be a serious motherfucker, you know. A real badass.



Damn you, polar bear.
posted by Katemonkey at 2:08 PM on January 8, 2014 [24 favorites]

Note: listen with sound on if possible because it is the joyous noise of a tiny animal trying to sound like a big animal and failing miserably
posted by MCMikeNamara at 2:11 PM on January 8, 2014 [8 favorites]

Biggest, toughest bear in the world. Some day.
posted by Kevin Street at 2:11 PM on January 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

But for now, cute and small and cuddly.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 2:12 PM on January 8, 2014

where's za MOMMEH BEAR?
posted by janey47 at 2:15 PM on January 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

By far the cutest top level predator our planet has to offer.
posted by workerant at 2:15 PM on January 8, 2014 [4 favorites]

The thing that might have been an attempt at vicious clawing maneuver or might have just been flailing to maintain balance did me in. RAWR!
posted by EvaDestruction at 2:17 PM on January 8, 2014

Keep trying, little polar bear! Soon, you will be able to rip the arms off of a human too!
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:19 PM on January 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Legs are hard!
posted by Johnny Assay at 2:20 PM on January 8, 2014

Nature red in tooth and Awwww!
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:20 PM on January 8, 2014 [25 favorites]

janey47, as I recall they had to handraise the cub because he was growing weaker despite the mother bear caring for him. I think the other two cubs born had already died, so they pulled the last one and put him in intensive care.
posted by tavella at 2:24 PM on January 8, 2014

och I knew I was crying for a reason

I can only watch lolcat videos now.
posted by janey47 at 2:25 PM on January 8, 2014

where's za MOMMEH BEAR?

Lying wait for whoever it was who left the apostrophe out of the video title.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:26 PM on January 8, 2014 [9 favorites]

It was the "oh heck no, imma give up and take a naps" at the end that got me.
posted by susiswimmer at 2:30 PM on January 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

Adorable watching empty neural networks try to make sense of all their inputs and outputs.
posted by NiceKitty at 2:35 PM on January 8, 2014 [4 favorites]

I had the exact same reaction Katemonkey did. That belly! I think I need to go watch it again.
posted by darksong at 2:39 PM on January 8, 2014

Who's a cute little fierce polar bear? You are!
posted by Anne Neville at 2:42 PM on January 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

Adorable watching empty neural networks try to make sense of all their inputs and outputs.

And with that, NiceKitty loses yet another game of Spot the Replicant.
posted by Atom Eyes at 2:43 PM on January 8, 2014 [19 favorites]

where's za MOMMEH BEAR?

Here, fetching a snack.
posted by Wet Spot at 2:43 PM on January 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

WRITE FAULT ON DISK I/O

(old skool TRS-80 replicant yo)
posted by NiceKitty at 2:49 PM on January 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

Someone need to hand him a bottle of Coca-Cola, stat!
posted by dobbs at 2:54 PM on January 8, 2014

Who do I need to kill to become one of these zookeepers that care for cute exotic baby animals?

I will do it, just tell me who.
posted by Aizkolari at 2:56 PM on January 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

LOOK AT HIS LITTLE EYES! HIS PAWS!
posted by gauche at 2:59 PM on January 8, 2014

He looks just like a little puppy! And apparently bears and dogs are related so he might as well be one! COME HERE PUPPY
posted by showbiz_liz at 3:00 PM on January 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

Future fierce.
posted by cman at 3:02 PM on January 8, 2014

"What the fuck! No no no. These are BROKEN WHAT THE FUCK. Okay... okay... Nope. I AM FILING A COMPLAINT."
posted by Tomorrowful at 3:06 PM on January 8, 2014

I'm going to slip it into a BABYBJÖRN and carry it around with me. It will be the cutest sweater evar (until it rips my throat out).
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:06 PM on January 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

He gets even cuter.
posted by fallingbadgers at 3:11 PM on January 8, 2014 [5 favorites]

they had to handraise the cub

What I'm seeing is the cub raising its hands.

Probably preparing for a Liszt performance, big paws…
posted by Namlit at 3:27 PM on January 8, 2014

I'll see your stumbling polar bear cub and raise you three panda cubs on a slide.
posted by gottabefunky at 3:53 PM on January 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

"Squee... SQUEEE...!" = "YOU LOOK TASTY CAN I EAT YOU"
posted by not_on_display at 3:55 PM on January 8, 2014

I like the part where he falls down on his chubby little butt and also the many times he appeared to consider napping instead.
posted by elizardbits at 4:05 PM on January 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

Someone need to hand him a bottle of Coca-Cola, stat!

Got a whole bunch of coke over here.
posted by not_that_epiphanius at 4:44 PM on January 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

He's actually doing pretty good compared to the Giant Panda cub that can't pick his fuzzy butt up off the floor.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:26 PM on January 8, 2014 [1 favorite]

WetSpot: OMG, what happened next?
posted by susiswimmer at 5:54 PM on January 8, 2014

Got a whole bunch of coke over here.

And here I thought you were going to link to this.
posted by mykescipark at 6:20 PM on January 8, 2014 [4 favorites]

Translation:

WAAAaaa: What are you doing over there?
aiAAA...waaAA: Is that a camera?
mroa...wAA : Gimme a sec here.
aaa...aIA: One more sec, be right with you.
mWRAw...mraW...eauu...eeeuw: I am a bear and I will see that evidence destroyed...
(chop licking): ...after this nap.

(not shown): Revenge of the Cub.
posted by timfinnie at 6:27 PM on January 8, 2014

I am extremely impressed at the restraint exhibited by the person filming. I would have thrown the camera down within 5 seconds to commence snorgling. Those Canadians are tough.
posted by tafetta, darling! at 6:31 PM on January 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

Because of my job (no, really!), I've spent quite a bit of time watching polar bear videos. And while this was squeee-inducingly adorable, what I found most interesting was the moment at around :55 where he steadies himself on his feet, looks straight-ahead, and almost has that chilling, terrifying predator look grown polar bears have.

And then he settles down again and looks lost and confused and is super-adorable again. So fascinating to see that tiny glimpse of terrifying predator in that cuddly little baby bear.
posted by lunasol at 9:57 PM on January 8, 2014 [3 favorites]

if your job has ever involved hugging little babby polar bears you are contractually obligated to tell us right now this instant in great detail and also post pictures
posted by elizardbits at 10:11 PM on January 8, 2014 [2 favorites]

I wish! But sadly, my career path does not involve hugging any baby bears.
posted by lunasol at 3:48 AM on January 9, 2014

That's just what you would say if you were trying to keep all the bears for yourself.
posted by dismas at 5:02 AM on January 9, 2014 [5 favorites]

Incredibly, he's even cuter at 3 months.

That video shows even more belleh and also the cub doing that thing that Sterling Archer does when he's guzzling booze and holding up a paw I mean fingers to show that he is not done guzzling booze.
posted by angrycat at 6:48 AM on January 9, 2014

My monkey brain caught that split-second look too, lunasol. There's a different look in that fat baby's eye just then, along with a little sniff. This bear knows what's up with the food chain.
posted by pajamazon at 8:32 AM on January 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

This is an incredible facsimile of my dancing coordination.
posted by Sunburnt at 9:58 AM on January 9, 2014

Ich möchte ein Eisbär sein, im kalten Polar...
posted by asterix at 5:19 PM on January 9, 2014

Slightly earlier, the same cub attempting to roll over.

Warning: MIGHTY ROAR
Warning: ENORMOUS FEETS
Warning: FUZZY BELLY
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 9:20 PM on January 13, 2014 [2 favorites]