Cattle Are Booming

January 29, 2014 12:16 PM

Those wacky but socially responsible burrito pushers at Chipotle (previously, perviouser) are sponsoring a 'satirical' miniseries on Hulu, debuting February 17th: "Farmed and Dangerous" (official trailer) about a plan to make cattle feed from petroleum (fake website) and its unfortunate byproduct: exploding cows. Ray "Twin Peaks" Wise plays the obviously-evil PR guy in charge of damage control in this show "that explores the outrageously twisted and utterly unsustainable world of industrial agriculture." Opinionated much?

Not that "exploding cows" are a totally absurd concept. At a reportedly normal dairy farm in Germany, a herd of 90 cows were crowded into a farm shed when their cumulative flatulence was accidentally ignited by static electricity, damaging the roof and causing burns on ONE of the cows.
posted by oneswellfoop (19 comments total)

Not that I personally disagree with the sentiment, BUT it must be noted that if Chipotle can sponsor this kind of agitprop on behalf of Sustainable Agriculture, imagine the shows that could be “brought to you by” the deep pockets of companies like Tyson. Maybe not a good precedent.
posted by oneswellfoop at 12:17 PM on January 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ray Wise has been playing that guy for so long that I have come to actually believe that he is exactly like that.
posted by nevercalm at 12:22 PM on January 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

It looks pretty good, though a concept and some great lines that can carry a trailer may wear out their welcome in a series.

However it is exceedingly strange and faintly troubling to see "An original CHIPOTLE miniseries".
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:23 PM on January 29, 2014

Chipotle has a weird brand message. Between this and the stop-motion farmer spot, it seems they're against industrial agriculture, but not the one that's actually practiced in our world, a fantasy one that nobody could ever justify.
posted by the jam at 12:25 PM on January 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

Who could forget such classic shows as "The Day the Clown Fed the Children (presented by McDonald's)" or "That Sure is a Nice Hat, Mister (an Arby's Joint)" or "Where'd the Mayo Go? (joint production of Hardee's and Rax)"? Companies making television series is a super great idea and that's why they all do it.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 12:27 PM on January 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Also what few industrial agriculture settings actually glimpsed in the trailer look pretty clean and presentable -- but maybe we didn't see anything non-laboratory. One wonders if the series will depict anything like real industrial production and if so, would it backfire by making people presume that that too is satire? That aspect at least seems no-win: either they sanitize it and give the wrong impression, or represent it accurately and inadvertently pull the fangs from the truth.
posted by George_Spiggott at 12:28 PM on January 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

One day we're going to find out that all of Chipolte's menu options, even the vegetarian ones, contain ground up children. Mark my words.
posted by dortmunder at 12:44 PM on January 29, 2014

burrito-pushers

man in a suit opens coat "want to buy a burrito? only $6.95 plus tax"
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:57 PM on January 29, 2014

At least they put their pork where their mouth is.
posted by mr vino at 1:06 PM on January 29, 2014

However it is exceedingly strange and faintly troubling to see "An original CHIPOTLE miniseries".

Replace "Chipotle" with "Hallmark" and it's considerably less odd-seeming.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:19 PM on January 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

"That Sure is a Nice Hat, Mister (an Arby's Joint)"

I thought that was the Grammys?
posted by ilana at 1:38 PM on January 29, 2014

However it is exceedingly strange and faintly troubling to see "An original CHIPOTLE miniseries".

Is it so far from (for example) Johnson Wax and Fibber McGee and Molly or Pacific Coast Borax and Death Valley Days? (I suppose it could still be troubling--but it is, in a way, the American serialized drama returning to its mid-20th century corporate patronage roots).
posted by iceberg273 at 2:09 PM on January 29, 2014

You're talking about the old sponsorship model, but you never saw Fred Flintstone get into an argument with a prehistoric Surgeon General (even though C. Everett Koop would've made a cool caveman)
posted by oneswellfoop at 2:23 PM on January 29, 2014

You think that exploding shed was bad, you should feel for the poor cows whose flatulence launched their whole shed, cows and all, into orbit! They are known as "The Herd Shot Round the World."
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:51 PM on January 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

At a reportedly normal dairy farm in Germany, a herd of 90 cows were crowded into a farm shed when their cumulative flatulence was accidentally ignited by static electricity, damaging the roof and causing burns on ONE of the cows.

So you're telling me the cow didn't exactly jump over the moon?
posted by kirkaracha at 3:58 PM on January 29, 2014

a plan to make cattle feed from petroleum

Cattle feed, like much of human feed, is kind of a petroleum product. In a way, humans are a practically a petroleum product.

Another mind-blowing way to think about it: On average, half of the nitrogen in your body was synthetically fixed.

Petroleum is used in the Haber Process to make ammonia for fertilizer.

One of the most important uses of petroleum is in the production of ammonia to be used as the nitrogen source in agricultural fertilizers. In the early 20th century, Fritz Haber invented a process that allowed for industrial scale production of ammonia. Prior to that, ammonia for fertilizer came only from manure and other biological processes.

posted by mullingitover at 10:00 PM on January 29, 2014

I thought Chipotle was owned by McDonalds?
posted by agregoli at 6:10 AM on January 30, 2014

agregoli: "I thought Chipotle was owned by McDonalds?"

From the FAQ on the Chipotle website: McDonald's was once an investor in the company, but divested in 2006.
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:07 AM on January 30, 2014

It's funny they call them burritos...
posted by judson at 9:24 AM on January 30, 2014