Every morning she reads the comic and kinda gives me critique
February 4, 2014 12:15 PM Subscribe
Ordinary Bill is a perfectly good comic strip loosely based on creator Will Wilson's and his girlfriend's lives. Last Sunday that connection was more noticable than usual, as Wilson used his cartoon stand-in to propose to her. Fortunately, she said yes.
Dawww...precious! Congratulations!!
posted by michellenoel at 12:40 PM on February 4, 2014
posted by michellenoel at 12:40 PM on February 4, 2014
This is HUGE NEWS. For those two people.
posted by mrnutty at 1:00 PM on February 4, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by mrnutty at 1:00 PM on February 4, 2014 [10 favorites]
I always find proposal stunts like this rather distasteful. Doesn't the public nature of the thing place a certain weight of emotional blackmail on the woman to accept?
Just imagine the storm of boos and catcalls that would greet a woman who refused a proposal shown live on one of those stadium crowdcam things. Or, worse yet, live on TV in front of a pumped-up studio audience. It's not romantic, it's creepy and somewhat bullying.
And, yes, I know in this case it's only a comic strip with (I would imagine) a fairly small audience, but the principle's the same.
posted by Paul Slade at 1:10 PM on February 4, 2014 [5 favorites]
Just imagine the storm of boos and catcalls that would greet a woman who refused a proposal shown live on one of those stadium crowdcam things. Or, worse yet, live on TV in front of a pumped-up studio audience. It's not romantic, it's creepy and somewhat bullying.
And, yes, I know in this case it's only a comic strip with (I would imagine) a fairly small audience, but the principle's the same.
posted by Paul Slade at 1:10 PM on February 4, 2014 [5 favorites]
I've said this before, but stunt proposals are always about guys who crave attention.
posted by davebush at 1:13 PM on February 4, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by davebush at 1:13 PM on February 4, 2014 [6 favorites]
I'm glad someone else mentioned how creepy public stunt proposals are before I got in here. I would like to think the guy was sure she'd say yes before he did this because it would be a lot of pressure if she hadn't already made up her mind.
posted by immlass at 1:21 PM on February 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by immlass at 1:21 PM on February 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm glad four consecutive commenters found it necessary to shit on this sweetness.
posted by blue t-shirt at 1:24 PM on February 4, 2014 [13 favorites]
posted by blue t-shirt at 1:24 PM on February 4, 2014 [13 favorites]
He's happy now, but wait 'til she dumps him for Prince Valiant.
posted by delfin at 1:38 PM on February 4, 2014 [19 favorites]
posted by delfin at 1:38 PM on February 4, 2014 [19 favorites]
Yes, for some reason people are always "Well, *I* would hate a public proposal, so they're awful!" Comes up every time.
All that matters is what the proposee thinks of them, and hopefully the proposer should know that if they're considering marriage and be tailoring their proposal accordingly.
posted by wildcrdj at 1:42 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
All that matters is what the proposee thinks of them, and hopefully the proposer should know that if they're considering marriage and be tailoring their proposal accordingly.
posted by wildcrdj at 1:42 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
"He's happy now, but wait 'til she dumps him for Prince Valiant."
I wish I could give that 1000 favorites.
posted by sutt at 1:46 PM on February 4, 2014
I wish I could give that 1000 favorites.
posted by sutt at 1:46 PM on February 4, 2014
I usually hope for the woman to say no in a public proposal, but this is very different. She clearly didn't know she was being filmed (He says at the very end "it's on film, too" as he turns off the camera"). I thought I was seeing a genuine, private moment that he chose to share publicly after* it happened, as one aspect of the comic, which is already (evidently) full of their real-ish life.
*I think the fact that we didn't see it live, it didn't take place in a public venue, and there wasn't an enormous audience or dress up or a flash mob or what have was what made me like this one.
posted by janey47 at 1:52 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
*I think the fact that we didn't see it live, it didn't take place in a public venue, and there wasn't an enormous audience or dress up or a flash mob or what have was what made me like this one.
posted by janey47 at 1:52 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
A lot of these make me feel kinda weird, but my inclination is to believe that if they've been together eight years, they probably had pretty much mutually settled on this well beforehand.
posted by Sequence at 1:53 PM on February 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Sequence at 1:53 PM on February 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
I, too, can't help but think of how this could have gone horribly awry.
I mean what if Marmaduke broke into the strip and stole the ring? That would have been terrible!
posted by griphus at 2:08 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
I mean what if Marmaduke broke into the strip and stole the ring? That would have been terrible!
posted by griphus at 2:08 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
I am now entertaining the idea of someone getting served divorce papers via a Lockhorns strip.
posted by griphus at 2:24 PM on February 4, 2014 [8 favorites]
posted by griphus at 2:24 PM on February 4, 2014 [8 favorites]
Yes, no one in the entire world actually likes receiving a creative public proposal or considers one to be a grand romantic gesture, because everyone in the world is exactly like you!
Therefore, no one who makes one could possibly be thoughtful and deeply knowledgeable about whether or not the intended recipient might truly desire such a thing, because that would raise the dark possibility that NOT everyone in the world is exactly like you!
And that's crazy talk!
posted by kyrademon at 2:30 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
Therefore, no one who makes one could possibly be thoughtful and deeply knowledgeable about whether or not the intended recipient might truly desire such a thing, because that would raise the dark possibility that NOT everyone in the world is exactly like you!
And that's crazy talk!
posted by kyrademon at 2:30 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
I just thought it was a little weird that they'd been together eight years and she was so obviously taken aback, like she never expected him to propose. Like this was really a huge shock (though not unwelcome) that she couldn't believe.
posted by rikschell at 2:32 PM on February 4, 2014
posted by rikschell at 2:32 PM on February 4, 2014
I don't get why the whole proposal ritual still exists, and I don't get why it is 100% (okay, 90%) male initiated in hetero couples. Personal perspective: I am an old and when I got hetero married, the idea that a man must "propose" and a woman must patiently wait for said proposal was considered to be an laughable relic of a sad, sexist time gone by. Is it because of the wedding industry, a swing back to prescribed gender roles, or is it that "irony" thing you kids are into? No shitting on the sweetness is hereby intended; I'm just puzzled.
posted by Wordwoman at 2:32 PM on February 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Wordwoman at 2:32 PM on February 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
> "I am an old and when I got hetero married, the idea that a man must 'propose' and a woman must patiently wait for said proposal was considered to be an laughable relic of a sad, sexist time gone by."
Among my circle of friends, "marriage proposals" seem to have most frequently taken the form of "honey, we should really talk about health insurance."
I have actually wondered if Obamacare is going to cause some kind of massive generational gap in how, why, and whether U.S. couples choose to get married.
posted by kyrademon at 2:41 PM on February 4, 2014
Among my circle of friends, "marriage proposals" seem to have most frequently taken the form of "honey, we should really talk about health insurance."
I have actually wondered if Obamacare is going to cause some kind of massive generational gap in how, why, and whether U.S. couples choose to get married.
posted by kyrademon at 2:41 PM on February 4, 2014
...the idea that a man must "propose" and a woman must patiently wait for said proposal was considered to be an laughable relic of a sad, sexist time gone by.
While most of the hetero married couples I know had the dude proposing, the ladies saw it coming from a mile away. Not because they had been patiently waiting for the dudes to express their intent, but because the "are we getting married?" part was already settled and the proposal was just the starter pistol: surprising, but expected.
With the people I know, the let's-do-the-traditional-thing ritual of the proposal was, pardon the phrasing, divorced from the decision to get married, which was an egalitarian process. The proposal was a Grand Romantic Gesture because why not start marriage off with a Grand Romantic Gesture if that's the thing you want to do?
The couples I know who didn't want to take part in proposals or weddings or any of that stuff didn't bother. They just went down to city hall one day and came back married.
posted by griphus at 3:16 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
While most of the hetero married couples I know had the dude proposing, the ladies saw it coming from a mile away. Not because they had been patiently waiting for the dudes to express their intent, but because the "are we getting married?" part was already settled and the proposal was just the starter pistol: surprising, but expected.
With the people I know, the let's-do-the-traditional-thing ritual of the proposal was, pardon the phrasing, divorced from the decision to get married, which was an egalitarian process. The proposal was a Grand Romantic Gesture because why not start marriage off with a Grand Romantic Gesture if that's the thing you want to do?
The couples I know who didn't want to take part in proposals or weddings or any of that stuff didn't bother. They just went down to city hall one day and came back married.
posted by griphus at 3:16 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
When I proposed to my now-wife we'd already jointly set a date, and booked a church and a reception venue. And she still didn't see it coming.
posted by Hogshead at 3:40 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Hogshead at 3:40 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
I don't get why the whole proposal ritual still exists
I have seen people who dated for years and mutually agreed to get married before the proposal burst into tears when their guy proposed, so really I think it's just a powerful thing for some people, though not a surprise.
posted by stoneandstar at 3:41 PM on February 4, 2014
I have seen people who dated for years and mutually agreed to get married before the proposal burst into tears when their guy proposed, so really I think it's just a powerful thing for some people, though not a surprise.
posted by stoneandstar at 3:41 PM on February 4, 2014
I always find proposal stunts like this rather distasteful. Doesn't the public nature of the thing place a certain weight of emotional blackmail on the woman to accept?
So I'm, like, 90% sure that that wasn't a livestream, that he just recorded the whole thing and edited it later before posting it, that there was absolutely no public blackmail involved since he didn't even tell her it was filmed until after she said yes, and that if she HAD said no, he would've probably thrown out the comic and deleted the video because who keeps that around after a failed proposal?
I mean, otherwise I kind of agree with you, but I don't think this is that.
posted by chrominance at 3:43 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
So I'm, like, 90% sure that that wasn't a livestream, that he just recorded the whole thing and edited it later before posting it, that there was absolutely no public blackmail involved since he didn't even tell her it was filmed until after she said yes, and that if she HAD said no, he would've probably thrown out the comic and deleted the video because who keeps that around after a failed proposal?
I mean, otherwise I kind of agree with you, but I don't think this is that.
posted by chrominance at 3:43 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
> I don't get why the whole proposal ritual still exists, and I don't get why it is 100% (okay, 90%) male initiated in hetero couples.
My theory is that women are more likely to want to bring the topic up first, which they do. Something along the lines of "how committed are you?" or "what is your timeline?" This gives the guy a chance to make up his mind, and then when he finally does, he proposes.
As for the cases where the guy is actually ready to bring it up first, I think that men tend to have less of a focus on social contexts etc. etc. so instead of tactfully raising the possibility, they just pop the question on the second date.
Give these tendencies time to simmer, and they become traditions and cultural mandates that bring compliance up near to 100%.
posted by brenton at 3:43 PM on February 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
My theory is that women are more likely to want to bring the topic up first, which they do. Something along the lines of "how committed are you?" or "what is your timeline?" This gives the guy a chance to make up his mind, and then when he finally does, he proposes.
As for the cases where the guy is actually ready to bring it up first, I think that men tend to have less of a focus on social contexts etc. etc. so instead of tactfully raising the possibility, they just pop the question on the second date.
Give these tendencies time to simmer, and they become traditions and cultural mandates that bring compliance up near to 100%.
posted by brenton at 3:43 PM on February 4, 2014 [1 favorite]
So they should totally get married on the fifth day of May.
posted by octothorpe at 3:44 PM on February 4, 2014
posted by octothorpe at 3:44 PM on February 4, 2014
> "My theory is that women are more likely to want to bring the topic up first ..."
I, however, think it is an attempt to protect us from the blood-drinking aliens.
posted by kyrademon at 4:02 PM on February 4, 2014
I, however, think it is an attempt to protect us from the blood-drinking aliens.
posted by kyrademon at 4:02 PM on February 4, 2014
My reading of the video was pretty awkward. She really gave off the vibe of not having thought of marriage at all - at least to this guy - until now. Every time she'd try to back out of the situation - presumably to think about it - he'd sweep her up into a hug and ask again.
It was really uncomfortable to watch.
posted by egypturnash at 4:32 PM on February 4, 2014
It was really uncomfortable to watch.
posted by egypturnash at 4:32 PM on February 4, 2014
egypturnash, I saw something different -- OK, i keep deleting this because plausible-but-not-stated-outright, so let ME state outright that this is heavily colored by my own experience. I was with someone who was deeply ambivalent about getting married; I was NOT ambivalent about getting married, I wanted to be MARRIED. However, I didn't want to set ultimatums, so I just kind of gritted my teeth and tried to harden myself to reality. Finally I tearfully confessed to him that I wasn't setting an ultimatum, but that I wanted to have kids, that I didn't think I could have kids with someone I wasn't married to, and that if he wasn't gonna be that guy, then I needed to leave so I could go find that guy. He saw where I was coming from, and we've been married for almost eleven years now.
Anyway. With that in mind, that's what I saw -- I saw a woman who wanted this but who was really, really afraid to make it clear how much she wanted this, in case it was a joke that would hurt her with how much she wanted it. And I think he knows that, too -- he said "This is real, this is happening." And she certainly seems pretty enthusiastic about it at the end.
posted by KathrynT at 5:21 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
Anyway. With that in mind, that's what I saw -- I saw a woman who wanted this but who was really, really afraid to make it clear how much she wanted this, in case it was a joke that would hurt her with how much she wanted it. And I think he knows that, too -- he said "This is real, this is happening." And she certainly seems pretty enthusiastic about it at the end.
posted by KathrynT at 5:21 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
Shlub-tastic. Hope he at least took her to a nice restaurant after proposing to her in the computer room. And how soon do you think she knew it was a marriage proposal?
posted by ReeMonster at 5:51 PM on February 4, 2014
posted by ReeMonster at 5:51 PM on February 4, 2014
I feel a lot weirder about how directly related to Bill Watterson's style this guy's is. I mean, I don't like to jump to yelling "rip-off," but that's some hardcore homage going on.
posted by cmoj at 7:17 PM on February 4, 2014
posted by cmoj at 7:17 PM on February 4, 2014
I want a public proposal. I don't care if other people think that's gross or creepy. It won't be any of your business. I have spent all my relationships being hidden and kept secret by my partners. I look forward to having a partner willing to shout it from the rooftops when he wants to marry me -- because I would do the same for him if he wanted me to. I would be honored if he incorporated me into a comic if he were an artist. This is wonderful to me.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 7:26 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 7:26 PM on February 4, 2014 [3 favorites]
It won't be any of your business.
Actually, that's part of what I object to about big spectacle proposals. When you make a big public proposal like that, you you require other people to witnesses and (presumably) celebrate (which is part of the ew factor of potential pressure: I don't want to be involved in pressuring someone to accept an unwanted proposal). Everyone is supposed to see and applaud. If the person making the proposal didn't want public notice, they'd be doing it in private.
I will give the comic strip writer two points: he has implicit permission from the girlfriend to publicize aspects of their life by virtue of her agreement to be a supporting character in the strip. And at least the people who read the strip are presumably mildly interested in the author because of the nature of the strip. Not so with all public spectacle proposals.
posted by immlass at 8:03 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
Actually, that's part of what I object to about big spectacle proposals. When you make a big public proposal like that, you you require other people to witnesses and (presumably) celebrate (which is part of the ew factor of potential pressure: I don't want to be involved in pressuring someone to accept an unwanted proposal). Everyone is supposed to see and applaud. If the person making the proposal didn't want public notice, they'd be doing it in private.
I will give the comic strip writer two points: he has implicit permission from the girlfriend to publicize aspects of their life by virtue of her agreement to be a supporting character in the strip. And at least the people who read the strip are presumably mildly interested in the author because of the nature of the strip. Not so with all public spectacle proposals.
posted by immlass at 8:03 PM on February 4, 2014 [2 favorites]
I cannot get whatever this is to load for crap. Is it a video?
I don't get why it is 100% (okay, 90%) male initiated in hetero couples.
Having read various books on brides, it sounds like women are terrified to usurp the man's manliness, or "scare him off" by doing it themselves. Or in some cases, bringing up the topic at all. Basically, if it's HIS idea, it's okay, but if it's hers first....trouble.
Oh, gender stereotypes, you never do end.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:05 PM on February 4, 2014
I don't get why it is 100% (okay, 90%) male initiated in hetero couples.
Having read various books on brides, it sounds like women are terrified to usurp the man's manliness, or "scare him off" by doing it themselves. Or in some cases, bringing up the topic at all. Basically, if it's HIS idea, it's okay, but if it's hers first....trouble.
Oh, gender stereotypes, you never do end.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:05 PM on February 4, 2014
« Older Chanel, Dior, Lagerfeld, Givenchy, Gaultier | STRENGTH YOUR BLOOD AND SHADOW Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 12:16 PM on February 4, 2014