Judgmental maps

March 5, 2014 6:40 PM

Judgmental maps of cities/areas including Los Angeles (featuring “botoxed cougars in luxury condos”), Northern Virginia (including “closeted Hispanic husbands”), Richmond, VA (where one finds the “scary Walmart”), Memphis (where there are “people proud, yet ashamed, to be from Memphis"), Chattanooga (see “rich white people & gnomes”), Nashville (one part is “gentrified to a great level of inconvenience”), Phoenix, San Antonio, and “Canada, prolly.”
posted by goofyfoot (115 comments total)

Here's one by Lisa Spaulding for Madison. I live in "Yuppies," which, yup.
posted by escabeche at 6:45 PM on March 5, 2014

Boston's missing! Somebody better get on that. I'm only an expat from the South so I wouldn't have the nuances down.
posted by Countess Elena at 6:46 PM on March 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

I was looking forward to seeing what Long Beach, "The 6th best city for gays in the USA", where I live would be judged as in the LA map.

It didn't make it.
posted by bswinburn at 6:47 PM on March 5, 2014

That L.A. map is pretty much perfect. It says I live between Struggling Actors and Super-Creepy 1950s-Looking Area, which? OH MY GOD, EXACTLY.
posted by scody at 6:49 PM on March 5, 2014 [7 favorites]

I was wondering if this was the same guy who did the Judgmental Map of Austin Neighborhoods a year or two ago, but it looks like someone else. (I am in "ultra poor students" though actually I'm probably a gentrifier, and I shop at the scary HEB, which is not at all scary.)
posted by immlass at 6:49 PM on March 5, 2014

No New York yet. Queens alone would keep them busy for a month and by the time they were done, it'd all have changed.
posted by jonmc at 6:54 PM on March 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

I want to do one for Milwaukee, because I love maps, but I'm not judgmental enough. Conundrum.
posted by desjardins at 6:55 PM on March 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

There's no post for Baltimore yet, but if there were, I'm pretty sure I'd be living in "black people with mortgages" and working right in the middle of "Jews."
posted by Faint of Butt at 6:55 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Toronto [core] neighbourhoods by stereotype.

Toronto neighbourhoods stereotyped by subway, subway, subway stations.
posted by maudlin at 6:56 PM on March 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

Baltimore map posted a few months ago on /r/baltimore.
posted by vathek at 6:59 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Is there no San Francisco? Or can I just not find it because I am an Old who can't navigate tumblrs?
posted by purpleclover at 7:01 PM on March 5, 2014

I live at the intersection of Gays, Russians, and Pretentious Dicks.

I am not gay or Russian :(
posted by Justinian at 7:03 PM on March 5, 2014 [32 favorites]

Kind of terrible and racist.
posted by cazoo at 7:07 PM on March 5, 2014 [17 favorites]

Baltimore map posted a few months ago on /r/baltimore.

Heh. Poop factory.

(And I was pretty much spot-on-- check out the upper left.)
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:07 PM on March 5, 2014

Pretty sure the reason that SF doesn't have a judgmental map is that we've made so many of them for ourselves.
posted by janey47 at 7:16 PM on March 5, 2014

I like how in the Los Angeles one, the font makes it looks like South Central is populated by poor folks factories and discount furniture gangs.
posted by mhum at 7:16 PM on March 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

Here is San Diego. Paints the city with a broad brush but hits the mark in some places.
posted by birdherder at 7:19 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Hipsters and KBB, sounds like home to me!
posted by carsonb at 7:22 PM on March 5, 2014

There is one for New York but I don't think it's very good. I could have done it, and I've never even been to New York.
posted by Flashman at 7:27 PM on March 5, 2014

I'm from the Los Angeles area but I am very intrigued by the "odd rural area bordering ghetto" that's way up north between the 210 and the 5. I have this (totally bizarre) image of donkeys, pigs and chickens wandering in and out of check-cashing shops with bars on the window.
posted by andrewesque at 7:29 PM on March 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

I live between Neck Tattoos and Homeless White People with Dogs, which they probably should have put in the craigslist ad
posted by theodolite at 7:30 PM on March 5, 2014

cazoo: "Kind of terrible and racist."

You can kind of tell from the Minneapolis one where the person who made it has never set foot. And I am in no way shocked.

(Amusingly, a substantial portion of the people I know live in areas that apparently aren't worth judging.)
posted by hoyland at 7:35 PM on March 5, 2014

Is there no San Francisco?

There's this: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m66twbXCM91rwlatto1_1280.jpg
posted by slater at 7:35 PM on March 5, 2014

L.A.'s "odd rural area bordering ghetto" might reference Pacoima, which I don't know well but can say it's where muralist Levi Ponce has been doing a lot of work.
posted by goofyfoot at 7:39 PM on March 5, 2014

It's unpossible that my old NoVa neighborhood is still " milfs", 'cause my wife and I moved.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 7:41 PM on March 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

I saw a variation of the Minneapolis one awhile back, which was rightly criticized for being pretty racist. This one wasn't really different in that regard. It also had my neighborhood listed as "Probably Republican" which is just one big WTF.

However, the "nothing interesting whatsoever" label east of the Mississippi was pretty accurate.

I kid, St. Paul, I kid.
posted by triggerfinger at 7:45 PM on March 5, 2014

I live in the "TOURISTS" part of Santa Monica and it really should be "TOURISTS/PEOPLE WITH YOGA MATS."
posted by Room 641-A at 7:45 PM on March 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

Am I the only one who noticed that the northern Virginia map has quite a few gay groupings scattered throughout?

Arlington/Arlington Cemetery --> "gay bjs": I assume he means gays cruising? Otherwise I'm mystified
Bull Run: single bisexual dudes
General Ridge Golf Course: closeted hispanic husbands
Prince William Forest Park: bjs from military dudes
Franconia: gay dads
posted by andrewesque at 7:52 PM on March 5, 2014

Am I the only one who noticed that the northern Virginia map has quite a few gay groupings scattered throughout?

Lots of self-hating upper class Republican closet cases and the military guys on their way to becoming self-hating upper class Republican closet cases that they love. Don't believe me? Troll through Craigslist Men for Men here in a couple weeks when CPAC is in town.
posted by T.D. Strange at 7:59 PM on March 5, 2014 [8 favorites]

effort + talent = humour
horribleness + irony = humour
effort + talent = horribleness + irony
:(
posted by LogicalDash at 8:23 PM on March 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

Apparently Chicago west of California and north of North is not even worth judging.
posted by PMdixon at 8:28 PM on March 5, 2014

I take that back. West of Kedzie.
posted by PMdixon at 8:29 PM on March 5, 2014

The L.A. map doesn’t even have the 101 on it. I therefore have no point of reference and doubt the whole enterprise.
posted by bongo_x at 8:35 PM on March 5, 2014

I'm from Memphis. That part that says "Absolutely nothing is here, seriously" is not sarcasm. There's really nothing there but trees and gross-ass riverwater. And probably lots of bodies.
posted by epilnivek at 8:35 PM on March 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

as an east coast elite, i took one look and immediately thought "who cares about any of these cities".

so obviously they need to step up their Judgement game.
posted by young_son at 8:39 PM on March 5, 2014 [23 favorites]

you're not actually judgmental unless your first thought on loading the blog was who the fuck even cares about all these terrible Olive Garden cities in Tennessee and Virginia
posted by threeants at 8:39 PM on March 5, 2014 [15 favorites]

or basically what young_son said in the VERY SAME MINUTE
posted by threeants at 8:39 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

My LA downtown neighborhood is allegedly drugs, which proves to me that the map maker has never been here. So cute, so parochial.
posted by Ideefixe at 8:43 PM on March 5, 2014

I don't care if these are over-simplistic or offensive. These maps are horrid-looking, surely someone can make them more presentable and less MS Paint-like.
posted by Apocryphon at 8:48 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

as a long time resident of Moms Ignoring Children I should mention the Poor Gays actually live in Astoria and Caroll Gardens.
posted by The Whelk at 8:51 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

(although I feel like there needs to be a strip running down Columbus Ave: ELDERLY WELL-OFF ALCOHOLICS)
posted by The Whelk at 8:52 PM on March 5, 2014

Am I the only one who noticed that the northern Virginia map has quite a few gay groupings scattered throughout?

D.C remains the only city where I was hit on, on average, twice a day.
posted by The Whelk at 8:54 PM on March 5, 2014

The Wolf: Maybe I can give you guys a ride. Where do you live?
Vincent: Redondo Beach.
Jules: Inglewood.
The Wolf: It's your future... I see a cab ride. Move out of the sticks, gentlemen.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 9:01 PM on March 5, 2014 [5 favorites]

this is what an actual judgment map would look like. Richmond? ...please.
posted by threeants at 9:06 PM on March 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

I love the fact that Glendale, CA, is listed as "Mall City", because that's basically how I think of it.

Need some jeans, flat-pack furniture, a colander, and a weird cable for your home entertainment system? Get on the 5 and head out to MALL CITY.

That said, I am sad that Atwater Village gets "hipster wannabes from Orange County", because there's a yarn store, a couple good thrift shops, and a nice coffee place all right near each other on Glendale Blvd.
posted by Sara C. at 9:09 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

"Sane people eating sushi."
posted by ovvl at 9:14 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

This Calgary one gets it incredibly wrong- Mt Royal and Elbow Park are very much old money and not "yuppies" among other sins- but here it is.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 9:16 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

"Mexico!" "Rednecks!" OH MY GOD IT'S SO FUNNY HAHAHAAHAHAHA!

And the beauty is, it has "Judgmental" in the name, so that makes all the racism, ignorance and general lack of insight totally fine!
posted by drjimmy11 at 9:21 PM on March 5, 2014 [7 favorites]

Along the same lines: Urbane (e.g. Philadelphia, NYC, D.C.)
posted by tonycpsu at 9:25 PM on March 5, 2014

Calgary was established in 1875. I don't think Old Money means what you think it means. I'd love to see a map of Edmonton, there's nowhere quite as ripe for a painful ribbing.
posted by Yowser at 9:39 PM on March 5, 2014

I live at the border of Gay Guys With Beards and Hipsters, which should probably actually be a thin wedge between the two of Mercedes, Pugs and Strollers to be really up-to-the-minute.
posted by thedaniel at 9:49 PM on March 5, 2014

Mercedeses? Merceden? Benzen... Benzes.
posted by thedaniel at 9:49 PM on March 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

Having lived at the intersection of russian and gay (and currently in exile at points east with meth heads, desert rats, disease-inducing pollution and foreclosures) I can vouch for at least that percentage of the LA map.
posted by Space Kitty at 10:05 PM on March 5, 2014

I live in Minneapolis in what's labeled "suburban wannabes," although if I really wanted to be suburban, I could have just bought a house in Richfield next door. And really, is living in Edina something Minneapolisites aspire to? Most people I know think Edina is full of snobs.
posted by jonp72 at 10:25 PM on March 5, 2014

Wow, that Richmond map was surprisingly useful. I'm looking on craigslist for apartments near gay dads, meh, and Pho'ked up.
posted by oceanjesse at 10:38 PM on March 5, 2014

I'm in C-list celebrities, near the (clearly marked [do you not see it, bongo x?]) 101 in L.A., but the Russian neighborhood in WeHo isn't mentioned which gives the map demerits for accuracy.
posted by goofyfoot at 10:57 PM on March 5, 2014

I had some serious Russian realness in West Hollywood. Full on whole cooked fish in a stack sour cream vodka realness.
posted by The Whelk at 11:08 PM on March 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

I live in the "TOURISTS" part of Santa Monica and it really should be "TOURISTS/PEOPLE WITH YOGA MATS."

80 YEAR OLD JEWS / WHITEY BULGER / TOURISTS
posted by zippy at 11:50 PM on March 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

One of my best friends in high school lived in Odd Rural Area Bordering Ghetto, AMA. Lots of meth as I recall.

I now live right by the botoxed cougars.
posted by town of cats at 11:51 PM on March 5, 2014

I propose DOGS RECEIVING MASSAGE for the section of Santa Monica right near Ocean Park, along the beach. Because, yes, I saw this, and yes, I am silently judging you for it.
posted by Alterscape at 12:32 AM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

L.A.'s "odd rural area bordering ghetto" might reference Pacoima, which I don't know well but can say it's where muralist Levi Ponce has been doing a lot of work.

He/she is referencing Sunland/Tujunga, which is kinda near Pacomia. It's still horse country.


..but the Russian neighborhood in WeHo isn't mentioned..

There is giant "Russians" on Santa Monica Blvd just east of the "Gays", about Sunset and Gardner.
posted by sideshow at 12:50 AM on March 6, 2014

bongo_x: The L.A. map doesn’t even have the 101 on it. I therefore have no point of reference and doubt the whole enterprise.

Uhhh...it's right there, where the 101 is. Or were you joking?

Ideefixe: My LA downtown neighborhood is allegedly drugs, which proves to me that the map maker has never been here. So cute, so parochial.

I don't think they're referring to that recently-gentrified strip just to the west of the 110 (which is the easternmost part of the area marked "drugs" and the only part I'd really call "downtown" rather than Westlake.), but rather the area around MacArthur Park (which has been host to a lot of gang action by MS13 and various other gangs in the last 30 years.) When they drained the lake for installation of the Purple Line they found a bunch of guns in the '80s.

Personally I'm between Rich White Folks, KBBQ+Hipsters, Poor Pocket, and Not Quite Gentrified....which is pretty accurate.

There should also probably be a huge transparent "Marijuana Dispensaries" over most of LA.
posted by JauntyFedora at 12:53 AM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also, The Whelk: "Russian Realness" should be WeHo's City Motto.
posted by JauntyFedora at 12:55 AM on March 6, 2014

sideshow, you're right: WeHo is here between "very small theaters," Russians, doucheballs on cocaine, and tourists. I didn't recognize that fainter east-west yellow line as Santa Monica Blvd.
posted by goofyfoot at 1:03 AM on March 6, 2014

Formerly: LA's "Rundown Homes, Factories and KMart"

Currently: NoVA's "Basements for Rent"

I was going to complain about the NoVA map not being very spot on but...I actually do live in a basement. Oops.
posted by rue72 at 1:15 AM on March 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

The "gay dads" one in Franconia is a head scratcher. That's actually Rose Hill, it's a neighborhood with older single story homes from the 1960s-1970s. Kind of a blue collar neighborhood. I'm sure there is at least one gay dad there but not regarded as a place full of them.
posted by smoothvirus at 3:46 AM on March 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

Speaking of racist maps, the Chicago one. Haha, let's label half of the city gangs, the airport, and U of C fuck you.

Though the fact that they put the NOBODY WHITE WALKS DOWN THIS STREET AT NIGHT over Evergreen Park is unintentionally hilarious. Even if they moved it into the city, 95th street is in Beverly for at least a mile. Ooh, rich people and cops. So frightening.
posted by dinty_moore at 4:12 AM on March 6, 2014

Kind of terrible and racist.

Yeah, I thought this would be maps of where judgmental people live and judge, not the thoughts of judgmental people directly.
posted by 0 at 4:16 AM on March 6, 2014

Okay, the cops can be kind of frightening, but less so for white people than everyone else.
posted by dinty_moore at 4:20 AM on March 6, 2014

Yeah... I know the whole point is that this is supposed to be mean-spirited (judgmental maps!), but I'm not sure if it's always mean-spirited and funny. In part that may be about familiarity (I got a chuckle out of "eat authentic Chinese food here" over Rosemead, because it's not a joke about how Chinese and Vietnamese people live in Rosemead so much as a joke about how white people in Silver Lake think about Rosemead). OTOH, as you page down through the maps, it starts to feel like a lot of euphemisms for "black people' (ghetto, "burner phones and mouth grills", actual clip art of a pimp)...
posted by running order squabble fest at 4:26 AM on March 6, 2014

I was looking forward to seeing what Long Beach, "The 6th best city for gays in the USA", where I live would be judged as in the LA map.

It didn't make it.

Yeah, I gotta say, cutting off at the 91 is really annoying. We didn't live in Highest Gunshot Risk or Somewhat Less Scary Area, we were on the other side of the 91! Dangerously close to Lakewood, and who wants to admit to that, but at least we weren't in Lakewood.
posted by Katemonkey at 4:41 AM on March 6, 2014

The L.A. map doesn’t even have the 101 on it. I therefore have no point of reference and doubt the whole enterprise.

Yeah I'm very confused. Not only is the 101 on it, it even has route shields (which is what I thought you were referring to.)
posted by andrewesque at 4:43 AM on March 6, 2014

You can kind of tell from the Minneapolis one where the person who made it has never set foot.

Yeah, this. Bits of that map are amusing, but there is not a single square block in the city that is "probably Republican".
posted by gimonca at 5:39 AM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Toronto [core] neighbourhoods by stereotype.

I live at the exact junction of Times Square, Almost, Sculpture Garden, and Needle Exchanges.

Not entirely un-accurate, but 'Times Square, Almost' is really just that micro-area of Yonge/Dundas.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 5:50 AM on March 6, 2014

MetaFilter: Kind of terrible and racist.

(Or not, but it seemed the obvious next step.)
posted by jferg at 6:04 AM on March 6, 2014

Pretty sure a judgmental DC map would just be sad. Most of our snarky maps end up being racist and inaccurate (most likely made by students who have never ventured east of 14th St...)
posted by schmod at 6:04 AM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

All the NY Map you ever need. Okay, maybe also this one.
posted by Mchelly at 6:13 AM on March 6, 2014

Also, these are all outclassed by the excellent New Jersey Stereotype Map.
posted by schmod at 6:33 AM on March 6, 2014

I looked for a judgemental map of St. Louis, and the first hit was an article titled "St. Louis Doesn't Suck." So there's that.

(There are definitely some zones I could label though; I live in "Racial Diversity And Coincidentally Lots Of Cops" for instance.)
posted by Foosnark at 6:46 AM on March 6, 2014

I'm in Northern Virginia: apparently I live between 'permanent construction' (boy they nailed that one!) and 'basements for rent', and I work near 'airport with overpriced flights to everywhere'.
posted by easily confused at 6:48 AM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

The "odd rural area bordering ghetto" is Sun Valley and I can assure you, it is indeed a mix of horses and chickens and pigs and check cashing places and donut shops selling chinese food and Oaxacan pupuserias.

that said, I think scody and I live in the same neighborhood.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:03 AM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I used to live at the corner of Russians/Gays and Douchebags on cocaine, but mostly sex workers on meth.
posted by Sophie1 at 7:05 AM on March 6, 2014

The Richmond map is awesome. We've used the term "Scary WalMart" for years. I'm in Definately Drugs, if anyone needs me.
posted by rainbaby at 7:06 AM on March 6, 2014

Right at the intersection of racist and classist. Why are we even looking at this?
posted by Houstonian at 7:20 AM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

For the same reason so many people think Cards Against Humanity is "hilarious"?
posted by Windopaene at 7:41 AM on March 6, 2014

In Nashville, I live in Strangely Normal, which is actually a hilarious way to describe my built-in-the-1950s, mostly-owned-by-original-owners-but-with-some-young-families neighborhood which is sandwiched between an interstate and an economically depressed strip mall-laden four-lane surface road which is largely used to get downtown (and which is labeled Traffic).

The area immediately north of us labeled Southern Pride is where the state fairgrounds are, so that's pretty good, although it could also have accurately been described as Cemeteries And Weird Antique Stores. And the Weird Mall really is a weird mall, which ought to have died out except Vanderbilt has satellite offices there. And the spot they've labeled Homeless People is actually a spot where there's always two or three people on opposite sides of a huge intersection selling copies of The Contributor - nobody lives there, not even homeless people, it's just a maze of intersecting on/off ramps for the interstate - so if you live here that's more funny than classist (I think).

I think some of the descriptions are pretty hilarious, but the stuff I appreciate is more the "weird mall" stuff and less the "Mexicans" stuff. I think these could be done in a way that would be much funnier if they focused on in-group jokes about specific locales ("overwhelming beverage choices") and avoided the easy race/class jokes.
posted by joannemerriam at 7:47 AM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Needs one just for Oakland/Berkeley. Would be seriously hilarious.
posted by k8oglyph at 8:10 AM on March 6, 2014

Calgary was established in 1875. I don't think Old Money means what you think it means.

In this context it means exactly what I think it means. Mt Royal is our Rosedale. Areas like Aspen Woods are yuppies- the map gets it exactly backwards.

As to Edmonton-the fact that nobody would bother to make a map for it is skewering enough, I think.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 8:57 AM on March 6, 2014

The Minneapolis one is worth it for "that fucking K-Mart".
posted by padraigin at 9:10 AM on March 6, 2014

The only thing that really, really bothers me about the LA map is the huge swathe of territory just labeled MEXICO.

Especially since East LA is just as granularly judge-worthy as the rest of the city. Boyle Heights could be labeled MARIACHI BANDS. I currently live in "ABUELITOS WITH TINY DOGS". A little bit to the east is CHICANO HIPSTERS (around East LA College). Then you've got JAPANESE DOLLAR STORE/DENNY'S (the more suburban area sort of by Alhambra as you get into GOOD CHINESE FOOD).

Also "INEXPLICABLE SERBIAN CEMETERY SURROUNDED BY BAIL BOND PLACES", which is a special favorite of mine.
posted by Sara C. at 9:11 AM on March 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

INEXPLICABLE SERBIAN CEMETERY ... dot tumblr dot com
posted by The Whelk at 9:15 AM on March 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

I would not mind doing an L.A. Meetup at the inexplicable serbian cemetery. Actually, there are quite a lot of fun ethnically specific cemeteries around L.A. I definitely see a tumblr coming on.
posted by Sophie1 at 9:25 AM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Well the Serbian cemetery is sort of explicable. East Los Angeles used to be much more diverse than it is today; in fact I'm pretty sure that it was at one time the general entry point for any immigrant group. After WW2, for various reasons, non-Hispanic ethnic groups left the area.

The oldest Synagogue in Los Angeles is in East LA. I've seen photos from Japanese internment camps during WW2 with teenagers wearing letterman sweaters from my neighborhood high school. I don't know as many details about other groups -- and is there even a large Serbian population in SoCal? -- but it's all pretty fucking fascinating.
posted by Sara C. at 9:44 AM on March 6, 2014

Right at the intersection of racist and classist. Why are we even looking at this?

Because it's what we do best.
posted by kanewai at 9:51 AM on March 6, 2014

On the point of the racism and classism, the humor value for me is that my neighborhood is scary to "judgemental" people. If you're really that scared of brown people or youngsters with ink and piercings in your grocery store, it says something about (generic) you and not me.

There's a discussion to be had about the consequences of "scariness" vis a vis the Trayvon Martin incident (not local to me but I'm sure there are plenty of local cases that revolve around violence against POC through white fear) but sometimes just snarking at my tough-guy white brethren who are terrified of people who don't look like them is okay too.
posted by immlass at 10:45 AM on March 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Uhhh...it's right there, where the 101 is. Or were you joking?

Ah, I missed it in the chaos. Now it makes sense.
posted by bongo_x at 11:31 AM on March 6, 2014

immlass: "On the point of the racism and classism, the humor value for me is that my neighborhood is scary to "judgemental" people. If you're really that scared of brown people or youngsters with ink and piercings in your grocery store, it says something about (generic) you and not me."

I'm quite happy for my neighborhood to have a "scary" reputation. My rent stays low, and the real criminals think that we're too poor to be worth mugging or robbing.

It also keeps away the sort of people who draw these maps...
posted by schmod at 12:28 PM on March 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

Judgmental map of Chattanooga, lol.
posted by bhb at 1:47 PM on March 6, 2014

As a long-term NoVa-ian, I have to say the map is pretty spot-on. I would make McLean more of a "really REALLY old rich white people" neighborhood, but there are a lot of contract companies there. And I have spent many years in the "urban sprawl pretending to be rural" region, and that is EXACTLY what it is. My daughter lived for a while in "meh" which is also exactly what it is. 'We bought a place and are building equity and saving up for a second home in a better area' kind of a place. I can't personally vouch for the 'bj' areas, but I agree with the commenter above, a very open town as far as being approached about that kind of thing. And Turkey Run Park isn't even listed, which was the most notorious NoVa park for that kind of thing that I know of, so demerits for bj comprehensiveness.

It always amazes me that people clicking on a blatantly stereotypically-themed link are astounded and offended to see stereotypical things when they get there.
posted by umberto at 1:50 PM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: demerits for bj comprehensiveness
posted by joannemerriam at 2:13 PM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I’m just reminded of an incident last year, when my brother went searching for information on a shooting in his neighborhood and stumbled upon a message board filled with teenage gang members talking shit about gang’s neighborhoods. I’m just imagining that theirs would be the opposite judgmental map – super detailed and filled with in-jokes for half of the map, and the other half just being like ‘whatever, white people’.

Apparently my brother's neighborhood was used to be something to talk about, but now it's filled with too many yuppies and isn’t worth it.
posted by dinty_moore at 2:45 PM on March 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

I want to do one for Milwaukee, because I love maps, but I'm not judgmental enough. Conundrum.

I'm sure we could come up with something...

Hipsters, Students and Gays (East Side/ Riverwest, Bay View)
Rich Jews (North Shore)
Does Anyone Live Here? (South Shore)
Paranoid White People (Far South/Southwest Side)
Mexican Gang Members and elderly Polacks (Near South Side)
Who Even Lives Here? (Downtown)
More Gays (Walker's Point)
Tosa Adjacent (West Side)
Black Gang Members (North Side)
Black gang Members and a Couple of White People (Northwest Side)
Kinda Run Down Sketchy White People (West Allis)
People Who Can't Afford To Move Out Of The County (Brown Deer)
posted by MikeMc at 2:57 PM on March 6, 2014

Actually, the way things work around here the Milwaukee map would just say: "Scary, KEEP OUT!!! Nothing but Blacks, Mexicans, Gays and Assorted White Democrats!!!!"
posted by MikeMc at 3:20 PM on March 6, 2014

Huh, I didn’t know this was a thing, as a similar map of my city went around Facebook.
posted by Calzephyr at 3:21 PM on March 6, 2014

Re the NoVA one, I grew up between/near Overpriced Mall, Indian Doctors, Doctors, and Overpriced airport, which is all accurate to me then and now, but there are a lot more tech people, gay people etc than when I was young.

Agreed that these are gross and racist. Also remind me why I dislike the term "People of Color."
posted by sweetkid at 5:36 PM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Re the NoVA one, I grew up between/near Overpriced Mall, Indian Doctors, Doctors, and Overpriced airport, which is all accurate to me then and now, but there are a lot more tech people, gay people etc than when I was young.

Vienna?
posted by rue72 at 5:59 PM on March 6, 2014

It always amazes me that people clicking on a blatantly stereotypically-themed link are astounded and offended to see stereotypical things when they get there.

Neither, really. The idea is to make you feel bad for liking it. That's the way you treat people who are behaving like bigots, yes?
posted by LogicalDash at 5:59 PM on March 6, 2014

You know, people are often capable of reacting to stimuli without even considering how you might feel about their reaction.

It's a horrifying concept, but the science backs it up.
posted by running order squabble fest at 6:03 PM on March 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Vienna?

Went to high school in Vienna, but grew up close toFair Oaks Mall, Reston Town Center, Airport. We called ourselves Herndon but weren't Herndon (or Reston) at all - town now has a different name. When I was young (80s) Herndon was the closest post office but the area grew FAST.
posted by sweetkid at 6:04 PM on March 6, 2014

It always amazes me that people clicking on a blatantly stereotypically-themed link are astounded and offended to see stereotypical things when they get there.

I never understand why ASTOUNDED and SURPRISED and AMAZED are used in things like this. People clicked on it, thought the stereotypes were racist and offensive and said so. I'm not ASTOUNDED I saw something racist, I see racist things all the time. And then I say, "well, that's racist."

I'm not astounded at all.
posted by sweetkid at 6:08 PM on March 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

Went to high school in Vienna, but grew up close toFair Oaks Mall, Reston Town Center, Airport. We called ourselves Herndon but weren't Herndon (or Reston) at all - town now has a different name. When I was young (80s) Herndon was the closest post office but the area grew FAST.

Ah, OK! I started doubting myself as soon as I clicked "post." I was like: Tysons, why didn't you say Tysons?!

Well anyway, didn't mean to pry. I grew up in Alexandria, and went to TC. That area out by the Dulles did really spring up. In Alexandria, it's pretty much the same as when I was a kid, except that the apartment complexes are always changing their names, and it's gotten more expensive, and sometimes a government contractor or agency or something will plop down an enormous building and send a bunch more traffic spilling in (e.g. Brac). They're not so much building it up anymore as rebuilding everything, though, seems to me. But my old neighborhood looks just the same. I drove around in it on Thanksgiving Day and it was such a strange feeling. Have you ever done that? Has your old neighborhood changed a lot since you lived there?*

Addressed to everybody, not just sweetkid. Sorry for putting you on the spot, sweetkid!
posted by rue72 at 7:36 PM on March 6, 2014

Ha, didn't feel put on the spot! I'm always surprised how many NoVa people end up being on MeFi. Whenever a thread has anything at all to do with Virginia, we appear.

My old neighborhood (subdivision) hasn't changed at all since I lived there. My parents still live there. i think it will be super trippy when they move and it's not "home" any more.
posted by sweetkid at 7:42 PM on March 6, 2014

I live in Brambleton, and the "flight attendants who can't afford Herndon" label for 20148 is just bizarre. I've lived here for 10 years, and know only one flight attendant. And Brambleton housing is more expensive than Herndon.
posted by candyland at 9:21 PM on March 6, 2014

I missed this at first, because although I grew up in the LA area, somehow I didn't think it could be that amazing, particularly because my specific pocket of LA was/is pretty small and still doesn't get a lot of recognition.

But today I was randomly looking at William Gibson's twitter (which is not a thing I normally do), and even in the small in-stream display, what should catch my eye but Old Hippies! Which made me laugh and laugh, because, yeah, so true.
posted by KatlaDragon at 5:35 AM on March 7, 2014

Someone did a sweary map of London a while ago along similar lines (which I thought was kind of racist too). The irony is that, since 2013, the area labelled 'poor c**ts' is where all the estate agents and buy-to-let investors are desperately investing in, because it was the last part of London where regular young people could possibly afford to buy. A good chunk of it now will be hipster, advertising, foodie and media...oh, you fill in the rest.
posted by mippy at 8:25 AM on March 7, 2014