Help... ow... Stuck... ow... In... oh man... Dark...
April 24, 2014 5:08 AM Subscribe
Awww. Soon it will be ripping apart bin bags and screaming like the ghosts of the restless undead at 3am with its little brothers and sisters!
posted by Erasmouse at 5:35 AM on April 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Erasmouse at 5:35 AM on April 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
Don't just leave the can sitting on the ground there! At least crumple it up a bit.
posted by ceribus peribus at 5:37 AM on April 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by ceribus peribus at 5:37 AM on April 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
Apparently saved by a naked man?
posted by goethean at 5:39 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by goethean at 5:39 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Apparently saved by a naked man?
He's still 1st Level and can't afford any armor yet. I mean, really, he's doing the "rescue the Fox Kit" quest!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:49 AM on April 24, 2014 [27 favorites]
He's still 1st Level and can't afford any armor yet. I mean, really, he's doing the "rescue the Fox Kit" quest!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:49 AM on April 24, 2014 [27 favorites]
If you like this, it could be a long, unproductive day for you.
posted by HuronBob at 5:49 AM on April 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by HuronBob at 5:49 AM on April 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
HE GOT TO PET THE FOX CUB!!!!
I'm going to leave dog food cans all OVER the back yard!
posted by Curious Artificer at 5:52 AM on April 24, 2014 [14 favorites]
I'm going to leave dog food cans all OVER the back yard!
posted by Curious Artificer at 5:52 AM on April 24, 2014 [14 favorites]
Based on the video upload date and the average lifespan of a fox in the wild, well...uh...I mean, HEY LOOK AT THIS CUTE LITTLE FURBALL!
posted by orme at 6:22 AM on April 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by orme at 6:22 AM on April 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
We had a summer where fox cubs play-fought out the back of our yard while their mother looked on. Never got within twenty paces of them, but they were still adorable to watch. Didn't give us any trouble, either.
posted by gadge emeritus at 6:24 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by gadge emeritus at 6:24 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
It's cute, but if nobody's there to rescue animals from that sort of thing, it can be bad. Crush your cans, people!
posted by xingcat at 6:47 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by xingcat at 6:47 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
After Stofle's severe mauling by the dog food can, Brian knew he had to get his fox cub under control.
see?
posted by Naberius at 6:57 AM on April 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
see?
posted by Naberius at 6:57 AM on April 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
Fox-Can.com is one of the strangest sites I've seen in some time. I have no idea how these people got their foxes wedged into their cans, or why.
posted by drlith at 7:45 AM on April 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by drlith at 7:45 AM on April 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
Am I terrible for immediately jumping into thoughts of how many of these cute critters die slow, and to me unnatural and probably avoidable deaths, in the wild because we humans suck at consumption and coexistence with others in general.
Yes, I probably am.
I'll show myself out...
posted by RolandOfEld at 8:12 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Yes, I probably am.
I'll show myself out...
posted by RolandOfEld at 8:12 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Fox in the can, where do you plan
To find something you could eat?
Cause the word out on the street is you are clumsy
Don't let yourself get muzzled now
Don't let yourself go blind
Fox in the can
Man with no clothes, where do you go
To find someone you can help?
To help someone go be free before it kills you
They listen to your hairy calves
Before you lift the can
And shoot some video
What do they know anyway?
You'll watch it on YouTube
What do they know anyway?
You'll read it on MetaFilter tonight
Fox in the can
Fox in the can
posted by univac at 8:41 AM on April 24, 2014 [10 favorites]
To find something you could eat?
Cause the word out on the street is you are clumsy
Don't let yourself get muzzled now
Don't let yourself go blind
Fox in the can
Man with no clothes, where do you go
To find someone you can help?
To help someone go be free before it kills you
They listen to your hairy calves
Before you lift the can
And shoot some video
What do they know anyway?
You'll watch it on YouTube
What do they know anyway?
You'll read it on MetaFilter tonight
Fox in the can
Fox in the can
posted by univac at 8:41 AM on April 24, 2014 [10 favorites]
Am I terrible for immediately jumping into thoughts of how many of these cute critters die slow ...
You are not alone, and viewing the "website" drlith found really brought that idea home.
posted by achrise at 9:23 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
You are not alone, and viewing the "website" drlith found really brought that idea home.
posted by achrise at 9:23 AM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
No, no, no, he's got it all wrong. There is a logic and an order to the Universe that cannot be denied.
Fox goes in box.
Orangu-tan goes in can.
B'ar goes in jar.
Goat goes in tote.
Mole goes in bowl.
Pug goes in jug.
Quail goes in pail.
Skunk goes in trunk.
Stag goes in bag.
Macaque goes in sack.
Gray goose goes in papoose.
Rabbit goes in cab'net.*
Raccoon goes in spittoon.
Pine Marten goes in milk carton.
Invertebrate goes in shipping crate.
White-tailed doe goes in portmanteau.
This is what happens when mere Canid tries to interfere with matters beyond his authority.
* "Bunny goes in gunny" is accepted among some sects. We have picnics and ice cream socials with them, but that doesn't stop us from talking smack about them behind their backs.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:54 AM on April 24, 2014 [6 favorites]
Fox goes in box.
Orangu-tan goes in can.
B'ar goes in jar.
Goat goes in tote.
Mole goes in bowl.
Pug goes in jug.
Quail goes in pail.
Skunk goes in trunk.
Stag goes in bag.
Macaque goes in sack.
Gray goose goes in papoose.
Rabbit goes in cab'net.*
Raccoon goes in spittoon.
Pine Marten goes in milk carton.
Invertebrate goes in shipping crate.
White-tailed doe goes in portmanteau.
This is what happens when mere Canid tries to interfere with matters beyond his authority.
* "Bunny goes in gunny" is accepted among some sects. We have picnics and ice cream socials with them, but that doesn't stop us from talking smack about them behind their backs.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:54 AM on April 24, 2014 [6 favorites]
You missed "cat goes in a vat."
Also "whale goes in a pail."
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:57 AM on April 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
Also "whale goes in a pail."
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:57 AM on April 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
Our home version. Featuring my stylin' jammies.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:59 AM on April 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:59 AM on April 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
You missed "cat goes in a vat."
Also "whale goes in a pail."
Cat did go into vat. He looked around, licked his butt, shrugged, yawned, jumped out, and buggered off. "Whale goes in a pail" is how I messed up my shoulder.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:09 AM on April 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
Also "whale goes in a pail."
Cat did go into vat. He looked around, licked his butt, shrugged, yawned, jumped out, and buggered off. "Whale goes in a pail" is how I messed up my shoulder.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:09 AM on April 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
When you open a can with a can opener, always take the severed metal lid completely off! Always always! Never leave it hanging on like a flap. Never never.
Particularly, never push the hanging flappy metal bit into the can and then throw it away. Animals put their heads in there and a still-attached lid will do bad things.
posted by FeatherWatt at 11:23 AM on April 24, 2014 [7 favorites]
Particularly, never push the hanging flappy metal bit into the can and then throw it away. Animals put their heads in there and a still-attached lid will do bad things.
posted by FeatherWatt at 11:23 AM on April 24, 2014 [7 favorites]
Thank you. I had never considered that. It's so obvious though. Off with the lids from now on!!! And a crush for good measure.
posted by double bubble at 1:03 PM on April 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by double bubble at 1:03 PM on April 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
I was waiting for it to bite one of his fingers to the bone and then run off. But if that's normal behavior for fox cubs, I'd intuitively say they shouldn't be too hard to domesticate, actually. Makes me wonder why that's not been done to any extent I'm aware of (except for the Russian breeding program).
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 5:06 PM on April 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 5:06 PM on April 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
Meanwhile Yoplait still has not fixed their containers, which have been trapping the heads of small animals since the 1980s.
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:25 PM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:25 PM on April 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
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posted by greenish at 5:22 AM on April 24, 2014