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I was walking past an oriental takeaway with a Chinese friend of mine the other day and I asked her if the pictograms (Chinese does not use an alphabet but a vast series of symbols or pictures to form words) above the shop corresponded with what was written up there in English. Not at all, she said. Apparently, although the shop sign might say "Peking Boat -- Chinese and Malay Specialities -- Eat Here or Take Away", "Wing Wah Hot Meals To Go" or "Sun-Ming Chip Shop", the Chinese Pictograms, often done by British sign-writers, are chosen at random and generally form phrases of complete gibberish such as "Horse Trouser Factory Outlet", "Wings To Run Away With" or "Baghead Muck -- Wibble Wobble a Speciality". The takeaway we were walking past proclaimed in Mandarin "The Glib Fish -- Don't Smell That Auntie!"
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