Actor/Astronaut/Asshole
April 27, 2014 11:22 AM   Subscribe

(NSFW) Dan Bilzerian is ". . . a high-stakes gambler who drives an Italian supercar with a license plate that reads SUCK IT."
posted by jason's_planet (49 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
I wonder how Arthur Kade is doing these days
posted by thelonius at 11:26 AM on April 27, 2014




It would have been Bilzerian’s third heart attack in five years, and the man was barely 30.

Talk about living fast, dying young and leaving a bearded corpse. He could use some mentoring from Keith Richards.
posted by arcticseal at 11:50 AM on April 27, 2014


Isn't he the one who just threw a porn actress off a roof?
posted by 41swans at 11:54 AM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]


"...Bilzerian, the multimillionaire son of a Wall Street tycoon..."

That explains a lot. Can I infer from this that daddy, and not the sweat of his own brow, is the source of this douche's $$$?
posted by hwestiii at 12:10 PM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]


Seems not from the article. Daddy went bankrupt, and the story said he busted out in his early card playing days. Could be totally bogus though. There might be a trust fund behind the curtain. He certainly acts like a trust fund a hole.
posted by Windopaene at 12:20 PM on April 27, 2014


So basically he's Sterling Archer, but without the wit?
posted by indubitable at 12:41 PM on April 27, 2014 [11 favorites]


I can't really see Sterling on instagram. Archer is an asshole for himself, not for display.
posted by postcommunism at 12:48 PM on April 27, 2014 [5 favorites]


41swans: "Isn't he the one who just threw a porn actress off a roof?"

from the linked article: "It's not the best idea that we've ever had," she understated.
posted by chavenet at 12:52 PM on April 27, 2014


Although I will say that Dan has a lovely beard.
posted by postcommunism at 12:54 PM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]


Who are the "throngs of women at his side"? Why are they there? What's his appeal? Is it just business for them?
posted by The corpse in the library at 1:07 PM on April 27, 2014


He's fun and exciting, and spends money like water. What's not to like?
posted by Slinga at 1:25 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]


Daddy went bankrupt, and the story said he busted out in his early card playing days. Could be totally bogus though.

Well he could be the son of Wall Street bigshot who got nothing from his dad and independently made a ton of money gambling, but the smart money is betting on Occam's razor.
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:30 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]


Why are we rewarding this man-child with the attention for which he's clearly so desperate?
posted by escape from the potato planet at 1:54 PM on April 27, 2014 [4 favorites]


Metafilter: Rewarding this man-child with the attention for which he's clearly so desperate.
posted by Tom-B at 1:57 PM on April 27, 2014 [11 favorites]


Who are the "throngs of women at his side"? Why are they there? What's his appeal? Is it just business for them?

You get to party all the time, have all of the highest class drugs and shoot guns. I imagine it beats showing off your fake boobs to gross truckers at the Lusty Leopard or modeling at C2E2.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 1:59 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]


He's had 2 heart attacks before age 30. His car is very uncomfortable to actually ride in. His job as professional poker player mostly involves sitting around doing nothing but simple math and saying "fold" for hours on end. His friendships and intimate relationships appear to have limited substance. Much of his time is spent pursuing likes from an anonymous crowd of followers on Instagram.
posted by humanfont at 2:22 PM on April 27, 2014 [14 favorites]


"...you know you’ve made it when you have a goat in a fucking Lamborghini and he’s shitting on the seat."

Well, I'm jealous now. My goat only pees on the seat of my Lambo.
posted by Spatch at 2:31 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]


Why are we rewarding this man-child with the attention for which he's clearly so desperate?

I, the original poster, have mixed feelings about the guy myself.

Sure, his life is shallow and stupid. I'd be the first to tell you that I have nothing in common with him and could never imagine myself living the way he does.

But still . . . a lifestyle filled with beautiful women and fast expensive toys and sex and games and travel and indulging whims without having to worry about the bills has its charms. Especially when you've worked for six days this week and awakened on the seventh too damned tired to do anything with the day the way I have.
posted by jason's_planet at 2:31 PM on April 27, 2014


Daddy went bankrupt

And appears to have hidden a lot of assets in the process. Pure speculation does make me wonder whether the fact that gambling is probably the commonest form of money laundering is entirely coincidental here.
posted by howfar at 2:47 PM on April 27, 2014 [11 favorites]


[ Please don't repost horrifying content from other sites just for people to gawk at. Thanks!]
posted by restless_nomad (staff) at 2:52 PM on April 27, 2014


Where the money comes from: He's an arms dealer.

There isn't enough money in the poker economy to fund this kind of lifestyle. A friend of mine, one of a very small number of people who managed to make > $1M card counting at blackjack, tried to move to poker when playable blackjack games became scarce. It worked for awhile but then the economy went south, and at his zenith X was never making even a tenth what you'd need to live like Bilzerian.

However, it wouldn't take too many cases of weapons finding their way across various bodies of water to do the trick.
posted by localroger at 2:57 PM on April 27, 2014


He's fun and exciting, and spends money like water. What's not to like?

Yourself?
posted by hydrophonic at 3:22 PM on April 27, 2014 [7 favorites]


He recently teamed up with rapper the Game to donate $10,000—the maximum you can give before you’re taxed, he explains—to Typhoon Haiyan relief.

$10,000 really isn't very much. If you've got money then it's usually enough to get an invitation to a dinner and have your name mentioned in the long, long list of donors at the back of the celebratory booklet, but not nearly enough to have it mentioned individually. He might be paranoid about paying taxes. Or it could be that he just doesn't have that much money. I wonder how much of that $10,000 came from the rapper, and how much came from him?
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:28 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]


$10,000—the maximum you can give before you’re taxed, he explains

Is this right? Can someone elaborate?
posted by hydrophonic at 3:40 PM on April 27, 2014


$10K is the cutoff above which you must file a Cash Transaction Report (CTR) with the IRS. It's not about being taxed directly, but about letting the IRS know where the money is so that they can tax the recipient if it's appropriate. And you're actually supposed to report a transaction of $10,000; it's only exempt if it's $9,999 or less. Also, if you're moving more than $10K around and you deliberately break it up into transactions smaller than $10K to evade the requirement, that's "structuring" which is illegal too.

Casinos now abide by CTR requirements (they did so as late and reluctantly as possible, because lots of the cash they handle really is being laundered) and CTR's are another reason I don't believe for one microsecond that Bilzerian is funding his lifestyle from poker.
posted by localroger at 3:48 PM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]


So he could donate more without penalty, but he doesn't want to the paperwork?
posted by hydrophonic at 4:06 PM on April 27, 2014


Guy seems like a douchebro but the whole "you must hate yourself" thing strikes me as kinda sour grapes. Yeah, it must really suck to have enough money to blow on whatever you want without having to think about it. Really suck.
posted by Justinian at 4:13 PM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]


So he could donate more without penalty, but he doesn't want to the paperwork?

It's a big problem for casinos. When someone like Larry Flynt is playing blackjack he has to sign a CTR for every single wager. It also requires you to collect certain information about your recipient -- including SSN -- and to affirm it under penalty of perjury. So yeah, that fifth digit in the gift amount triggers some shit a lot of people don't want to deal with for reasons both good and bad.
posted by localroger at 4:16 PM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]


Re 10k gift: he's almost certainly thinking of the gift tax annual exclusion circa 2001, roughly the last year his dad would've given him such a gift. The gift tax, of course, doesn't apply to charitable gifts. ie he's wrong.
posted by jpe at 4:24 PM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]


Maybe jpe; it's obvious he's reporting some kind of personal understanding shorthand for whatever the real objection is. I tend to think he'd know the gift tax doesn't apply to his charitable donation, but the CTR requirement does. I suspect he hangs with LOTS of people who don't want CTR's filed on them.
posted by localroger at 4:44 PM on April 27, 2014


People think all kinds of dumb things about tax. Re: CTR: not an issue unlesd he hands someone cash.
posted by jpe at 4:57 PM on April 27, 2014


I mean, I can see guys on their pedestal of privilege looking at this guy up on his pedestal way up high and being all. "Fuck yeah, man, living the life!"

But I'm a woman, so everything I see pretty much makes me sick to my stomach. Violence, speed, women: objects obtained, bro-achievement unlocked. I'd like a few less of this type in the world, thanks.
posted by weeyin at 5:02 PM on April 27, 2014 [7 favorites]


^ If he keeps at it with the yayo, then your wish will be granted shortly.
posted by wuwei at 5:10 PM on April 27, 2014 [3 favorites]


Just stopped in for the cutting edge of wtf/grar, but am staying for the tax stupidity.

Who would possibly believe that there is a $10k limit on gifts to charities, after which you are taxed?

Seriously, there has never in the history of taxes ever been a tax on gifts to charitable institutions.

Honestly, I sometimes just can't even follow what people think they are supposed to be telling me.
posted by dglynn at 5:16 PM on April 27, 2014 [5 favorites]


Although I will say that Dan has a lovely beard.

I don't much envy him his lifestyle, but his beard is definitely more luxurious than mine.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:21 PM on April 27, 2014


When he was 25, seven years ago, Bilzerian went on what his PR rep, Steve Honig, describes as a “four-day, very active snowboarding trip—traveling, not sleeping, hanging with friends, doing all kinds of…” Honig trails off. The trip ended in a double heart attack. “If you’re familiar with his lifestyle, he’s a bit of a daredevil,” Honig says. “His body was absolutely overloaded after four days, and the heart condition happened.”
Is it possible to have had multiple heart attacks before the age of 30 in the absence of hard drug use?
posted by Sangermaine at 5:51 PM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]


Who would possibly believe that there is a $10k limit on gifts to charities, after which you are taxed?

Someone who never needed to learn much about tax law because he makes money by gambling, shady deals, and having a rich father. Also, someone who doesn't actually have a whole lot of money. The alleged $10,000 donation was made jointly. He also boasts about giving $20,000 to "a couple who adopted four kids". Assuming these claims are true, it's the behavior of someone whose income is in the low hundreds of thousands: if it were higher he would have accountants who would have set up a charitable foundation for him.
posted by Joe in Australia at 5:56 PM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]


So, has anyone besides me tried to read "Ron Burgundy's" autobiography? Anyone?
posted by Kirth Gerson at 6:56 PM on April 27, 2014


Is it possible to have had multiple heart attacks before the age of 30 in the absence of hard drug use?

It's possible but it's very, very rare and generally accompanied by other difficulties that would make Bilzerian's lifestyle impossible.
posted by localroger at 7:10 PM on April 27, 2014 [1 favorite]


Dan and I have a small degree of intersection in that I've played poker against him and I'm friends with most of the players in the games that he occasionally plays in Las Vegas. I'll just say that most of the money he says he has won in poker seems to have taken place in private games that cannot be easily confirmed. My impression is that he is a net loser in the bigger games at Aria and I don't know anyone who considers him someone to be avoided at those stakes. However, he is known to be free-spending and lots of people like to party with him. I'm old and boring and don't really know much about that -- but my belief is that most of his money wasn't won at any traditional high stakes poker room. He has done quite well staking other players.
posted by Lame_username at 7:17 PM on April 27, 2014 [6 favorites]


Why are we rewarding this man-child with the attention for which he's clearly so desperate

Because attention isn't a finite nonrewable resource, and this shit is hilarious?
posted by emptythought at 7:46 PM on April 27, 2014 [4 favorites]


People think all kinds of dumb things about tax. Re: CTR: not an issue unlesd he hands someone cash.

One gets the strong impression that Bilzerian deals in a lot of cash because that's how he gets his own income. That he is funding himself through poker is an obvious lie, but a convenient one in the way that gambling has always been a convenient excuse for "lucky" bad guys who have lots of money. I tend to agree with the idea that he is "only" making a few hundred thousand dollars a year. I'd further speculate that most of it is in the form of unlaundered cash, which can be spent on baubles but not saved or invested without attracting unwelcome attention. He obviously knows $10K is a point where bad things happen.
posted by localroger at 7:56 PM on April 27, 2014 [2 favorites]


Is it possible to have had multiple heart attacks before the age of 30 in the absence of hard drug use?

If he screwed around with his electrolyte balance enough, his heart could stop beating effectively or at all, so causing cardiac arrest and/or blood clotting (like that pulmonary embolism he had). Arrhythmic arrests aren't technically heart attacks (myocardial infarction, temporary or permanent blockage of a blood vessel that feeds a chunk of heart muscle, resulting in angina, arrhythmia, permanent heart damage, cardiac arrest, or death). People with bulimia or anorexia nervosa often die of cardiac arrest caused by electrolyte imbalances, and that's what everyone's worried about when a marathoner collapses. People with a predisposition to arrhythmia can have multiple events if they don't treat themselves gently (and sometimes if they do).

Some congenital heart defects will also leave you prone to major cardiac events, as will some serious infections.

Plus, you know, coke.

So this guy is a grown-up Rich Kid of Instagram?
posted by gingerest at 11:48 PM on April 27, 2014


> Who are the "throngs of women at his side"? Why are they there? What's his appeal?
> Is it just business for them?

Possibly. Or just that, like with men, there are plenty of shallow, vain, asshole women too.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 1:18 AM on April 28, 2014


I don't much envy him his lifestyle, but his beard is definitely more luxurious than mine.

It also has an eight ball of coke in it, probably.
posted by thelonius at 1:58 AM on April 28, 2014 [1 favorite]


It also has an eight ball of coke in it . . .

What?? You'll be hearing from my--

probably

Nice save.
posted by The Bellman at 2:32 PM on April 28, 2014


Anxiously awaiting the obituary.
posted by markkraft at 2:35 PM on April 28, 2014


!
posted by aydeejones at 9:22 PM on April 28, 2014


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