Dirty Harry...Only Hairier

April 28, 2014 8:22 PM

Wolfcop - The Movie. Half cop, half werewolf. He goes by the name Lou Garou.

The website.
The trailer.
The poster.
Soundtrack by Saskatoon's The Shooting Guns (link goes to the band page, not the soundtrack).
Brought to you by Cinecoup.

posted by ashbury (41 comments total)

Oh so it's Forever Knight except with werewolves instead of vampires? Regina's no Toronto though.

Man, if Canada didn't exist then fans of genre schlock would have had to invent it.
posted by Nelson at 8:26 PM on April 28, 2014 [4 favorites]

1. He's half cop, half werewolf.
2. Werewolves are half human, half wolf.
3. So, Lou's three-quarters human, and of that, two-thirds cop.
posted by JHarris at 8:30 PM on April 28, 2014 [29 favorites]

I gotta give them respect for naming him Lou Garou. That pun justifies the existence of the movie.
posted by JDHarper at 8:34 PM on April 28, 2014 [24 favorites]

The trailer says he's half cop, half wolf, all wolfcop, which makes the math a little simpler and closer to Robocop.
posted by RobotHero at 9:18 PM on April 28, 2014

3. So, Lou's three-quarters human, and of that, two-thirds cop.

I feel like we're getting into Epic of Gilgamesh territory here.
posted by curious nu at 9:26 PM on April 28, 2014 [7 favorites]

Obviously he's half cop because he doesn't define himself by his career, which is frankly quite refreshing to see in a man, even a wolfman, these days.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:42 PM on April 28, 2014 [12 favorites]

You really can't be half a werewolf. Either you are or you aren't.
posted by honestcoyote at 10:01 PM on April 28, 2014

You can be a full-time cop and werewolf in Regina. It's progressive for the Prairies.
posted by benzenedream at 10:13 PM on April 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

Remember that SNL sketch where everyone in the Maine court is from New Orleans? Do you think the writers were aware that the Cajun culture was a part of Maine long before it migrated to Louisiana? Like, that was part of the joke? I could never tell.

Anyway, that is to say, growing up in rural Maine, I'd listen to my grandfather telling stories about the loup-garou; and I never knew it was an Acadian myth until I was much older.

Also, the "white" in my name? Totally anglicized "le blanc". For some reason Mainers go to considerable length to purge themselves of their Cajun heritage. I've never understood why.
posted by jwhite1979 at 10:38 PM on April 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Where wolfcop?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:04 AM on April 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

"There. There wolfcop! There precinct!"
posted by JHarris at 12:42 AM on April 29, 2014 [7 favorites]

You really can't be half a werewolf.

A half werewolf bays at the half moon. It's twice as bad as being a normal werewolf since half werewolves transform every two weeks rather than once a month.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:17 AM on April 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

I assume he's a cop bitten by a werewolf, but what if he was a wolf bitten by a werecop? What then?
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:18 AM on April 29, 2014 [8 favorites]

Beware men who suddenly turn into cops when the moon is full.
posted by straight at 2:06 AM on April 29, 2014 [9 favorites]

Even a wolf who drinks beer with hops
And howls some prayers at night
When the copbane blooms can become a cop
And shoot some perps on sight.

It's a good thing I'm not a stereotypical ethic fortuneteller; I'd get my license pulled.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:43 AM on April 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

A half werewolf bays at the half moon. It's twice as bad as being a normal werewolf since half werewolves transform every two weeks rather than once a month.

Actually it depends on how pedantic the wolfishness is, as a three-quarter-full moon is also, necessarily, half-full. That is to say, it's half-full and then some. So, a half-werewolf should technically be transformed more frequently than a plain werewolf, unless the curse was precise enough that the victim only transformed when exactly half the moon is full. That is, a counterphase werewolf.

Beware men who suddenly turn into cops when the moon is full.

This got me to thinking about plainclothes werewolves, who hang around pastures in disguise, hoping to catch sheep, a phenomenon covered in this informative documentary.
posted by JHarris at 2:44 AM on April 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Forever Knight might be the most 90s thing ever
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 3:22 AM on April 29, 2014

Forever Knight might be the most 90s thing ever

That sounds like a challenge.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 3:35 AM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Maybe he's a pessimistic half-wolf cop. It could still be 28 days between his cycles as he'd transform only when the moon was half empty.
posted by Nanukthedog at 4:06 AM on April 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Close, but I don't think it beats out Extreme's video for Hole Hearted, which is the epitome of early 90s-ness.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:06 AM on April 29, 2014

Sergeant Angua?
posted by frogfather at 4:29 AM on April 29, 2014 [6 favorites]

At least he's not a three wolf moon cop.
posted by blue_beetle at 4:36 AM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

"Wolfcop, I want you both to keep an eye peeled for an unlikely comedy duo who've been hassling the mummies in Little Aegypt. They're sarcastic and presumed dangerous. Take Creature of the Black Lagooncop with you, you'll need backup in case they've got schtick in mind."
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:03 AM on April 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

Wolfcop and Dracutective vs. Abbot and Costello in 3D!
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:15 AM on April 29, 2014 [3 favorites]

Awesome! They have been at the Calgary Expo for the past few years and didn't realize the movie was becoming a reality so soon.
posted by Calzephyr at 5:22 AM on April 29, 2014

I assume he's a cop bitten by a werewolf, but what if he was a wolf bitten by a werecop? What then?

Then you get Peter David's Howling Mad (regular wolf bitten by werewolf = wolf turns human every full moon)
posted by oh yeah! at 5:44 AM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Which one is Tyler Hoechlin?
posted by shakespeherian at 6:00 AM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

but what if he was a wolf bitten by a werecop? What then?

Copwolf!
posted by Damienmce at 6:15 AM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

So when is he going to come to Ontario to investigate or arrest the Bitten pack?
posted by sardonyx at 7:22 AM on April 29, 2014

Oh man, if WolfCop and Kung Fury ever teamed up...
posted by FatherDagon at 7:30 AM on April 29, 2014

Wolfcop and Dracutective vs. Abbot and Costello in 3D!

I'm pitching Wolfcop and Manimal vs. Airwolf.
posted by octobersurprise at 7:37 AM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

He's a cop bitten by another cop! She's a wolf bitten by a wolf!

IT'S COPCOP AND WOLFWOLF!
posted by blue_beetle at 7:58 AM on April 29, 2014 [7 favorites]

Dammit, who invited Cop Cop?
posted by NMcCoy at 8:37 AM on April 29, 2014 [4 favorites]

Wolfcop and Manimal vs. Airwolf.

If Airwolf gets bitten by Wolfcop, would it become Hairwolf?

Now I want to see Axe Cop vs. Wolfcop....
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:46 AM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

Now I want to see Axe Cop vs. Wolfcop....

We're going to need some try-outs.
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:35 AM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

He goes by the name Lou Garou

That is so obvious I can't believe none of us ever came up with it in French immersion grade school.
posted by Hoopo at 9:52 AM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

It's gonna take a lot of Wolf Cops to stop...BEARODACTYL!!!
posted by TheRedArmy at 1:05 PM on April 29, 2014 [5 favorites]

I am in awe at the brilliant inanity in this thread.

And all I have to contribute is that Marie de France wrote a kickass werewolf story (with a killer punchline for an ending) in the 14th Century: "Le Lai du Bisclavret, ou Loup-Garou". I use it to teach Old French. The students invariably love it.

http://jacques.prevost.free.fr/moyen_age/MariedeFrance_lai_bisclavret.htm
posted by IAmBroom at 1:47 PM on April 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh man, if WolfCop and Kung Fury yt ever teamed up...

I so so so wanted that to be a typo and the actual movie to be Kung Furry... but alas...
posted by hippybear at 5:06 PM on April 29, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm now worried about how hippybear and WolfCop would interact.
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:19 AM on April 30, 2014

I had seen an early trailer for it last year when they were in the Cinecoup funding contest.
posted by RobotHero at 9:23 AM on April 30, 2014