He’s just too big for you / Ain’t nothing you can do
May 16, 2014 8:45 AM   Subscribe

The Fire Rises is a music video from Masketta Man's UUUU, a name-your-price banecore devotional EP based largely on the somewhat befuddling opening to the 2012 blockbuster The Dark Knight Rises. Other tracks concern hotheads (and how to get them out of places), states of relative bigness w/r/t inter-guy relationships, and pastiches in the vein of Bentley Rhythm Ace. To be fair, however, other banecore songs have been equally sonorous, other banecore videos may be even more romantic, and Bane himself has some skills as a rapper, although maybe not as much as Tom (and Louis) Hardy. (last link contains NSFW language)
posted by Sticherbeast (7 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
This is fucking fantastic. At last, something good comes out of that shitfest of a movie.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 9:13 AM on May 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm only like 1/3 as attracted to Peter Baelish without the dirty moustache...
posted by Strass at 10:47 AM on May 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

I watched a few minutes of " Bane himself has some skills as a rapper,".

What' really sad is that the voice-over parody has much better sound editing/voice acting than the actual movie. I watched the Dark Knight Rises blu-ray a few weeks ago and the sound was a fucking train wreck. They made Bane's voice excessively loud (his voice is much louder than the airplane and gun fire sounds in the opening segment), yet Bane's dialogue is still 50-75% unintelligible. It all felt like a student film where the sound is just completely fucked. Totally unacceptable for a 3 bajillion dollar Hollywood movie.
posted by dgaicun at 11:16 AM on May 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Bad film, bad sound, bad characterizations, but some nice lines

[Bane's men announce their entry into the stock exchange, as the food delivery man shoots down a trader, while the shoeshiner and janitor fire their guns into the trading screen. As the screens shut off, Bane comes in and walks over to one trader]
Trader #1: This is a stock exchange! There's no money you can steal!
Bane: Really? Then why are you people here?
[Bane drags the trader by his tie across the floor to a computer terminal, slams his head against the table, and uses his security card to log-in and start the application on the shoeshiner's laptop]

posted by lalochezia at 11:20 AM on May 16, 2014

When I say "no", you say "survivors !"
posted by blue_beetle at 11:25 AM on May 16, 2014 [3 favorites]

Who wants to try next?
posted by edeezy at 12:21 PM on May 16, 2014 [1 favorite]

Bane Simulator 2012
posted by thelonius at 2:39 AM on May 18, 2014

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