He eats spiders so that you don't have to.

May 27, 2014 6:53 PM

"'average person eats 3 spiders a year' factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted". Spiders Georg provides statistical explanation for one of the most commonly mis-represented scientific 'facts' promulgated for years. Although the math may be a little off and Georg may in fact be consuming many more spiders. You can read more from the man himself if you want to know more about the spider eating life.
posted by codacorolla (48 comments total)

Well how about that
posted by angerbot at 7:12 PM on May 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Now I'm sad for the poor spiders.
posted by octothorpe at 7:19 PM on May 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

the internet's pretty good when you get down to it
posted by solarion at 7:21 PM on May 27, 2014 [15 favorites]

if we're talking about tumblr textposts, this will always be my favorite
posted by p3on at 7:23 PM on May 27, 2014

They say you eat 27 spiders in your life. The thing they don't tell you is that it's always exactly 27. Always.

If you're about to die and you've never eaten a spider, 27 of them will appear and rush into your mouth all at once. If you've eaten more than that, you spend your last moments burping up live spiders.
posted by mhoye at 7:24 PM on May 27, 2014 [132 favorites]

I assume they wiggle and jiggle and tickle inside him?
posted by shakespeherian at 7:33 PM on May 27, 2014 [12 favorites]

Weird twitter has leaked into tumblr? I feel old.
posted by desjardins at 7:33 PM on May 27, 2014

The next time your kid is fussy, you can tell him some people have to eat spiders...
posted by Alexandra Kitty at 7:36 PM on May 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

If you've eaten more than that, you spend your last moments burping up live spiders.

Not so! They crawl out of your nostrils and ears after you have expired.
posted by Pudhoho at 7:39 PM on May 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Is his name pronounced like the English "George" or is it "gay-org"? I need to know.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:40 PM on May 27, 2014

Perhaps 'gee-org' like some kind of pig-Latin Igor...
posted by Pudhoho at 7:43 PM on May 27, 2014

I just told my kids that if they sleep on the floor in the basement, spiders will lay eggs in their brain which will hatch and then the babies will eat their brains. They were like "meh" and didn't buy it. I have told them about the time I woke up with one on my cheek and rolled it up promptly into a dead spider ball, woke up hours later, thought "did a spider crawl on my face at night?" and found it there. Yick. Not a tiny one either, not huge, just right...
posted by aydeejones at 7:47 PM on May 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

why the fuck am i reading this right before bed
posted by desjardins at 7:48 PM on May 27, 2014 [11 favorites]

if you want to know more about the spider eating life.

If we want to know less? Like if we want to scrub out the part of our brains that knows about it? What do we do?

Other than hope for really accurate spider egg brain surgery.
posted by jeather at 7:53 PM on May 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

Picturing baby spiders with surgical masks now.
posted by shakespeherian at 8:02 PM on May 27, 2014 [4 favorites]

"Average person has 10 ocs" factoid just statistical error; Georg R. R. Martin, who lives in a cave and creates 10,000 ocs a day, is an outlier adn should not be counted"

--Tumblr
posted by moonlight on vermont at 8:10 PM on May 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

I think one Orange County is enough really.
posted by Naberius at 8:26 PM on May 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

I heard that the average person eats one hundred nematodes every second. Or more accurately they just crawl around you and die sometimes. LUlZ
posted by aydeejones at 8:32 PM on May 27, 2014

'average person eats 3 spiders a year' factoid actually just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year.

I knew it! The grocery shrink-ray strikes again! This is so going to The Consumerist! This is bullshit!
posted by turbid dahlia at 8:35 PM on May 27, 2014 [4 favorites]

Meanwhile, apparently them nematodes "may eat up to 5,000 bacteria per minute."

And the bacteria shoot nanoscopic bees that sting 1,000,000 picoscopic deserving porcupines per hour.
posted by aydeejones at 8:38 PM on May 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

I am large. I contain multitudes.
posted by The otter lady at 8:53 PM on May 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

I am large. I contain millipedes.
posted by shakespeherian at 9:02 PM on May 27, 2014 [27 favorites]

I liked this variation of spiders georg:

"average person hath borne me on his back 3 times" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person hath borne me on his back 0 times. Alas, poor Yorick, who hath borne me on his back a thousand times, was an outlier adn should not have been counted

posted by bewilderbeast at 9:19 PM on May 27, 2014 [23 favorites]

I am large. I contain multitudes.
posted by The otter lady

Can't be more five or six otters, tops.
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:19 PM on May 27, 2014 [3 favorites]

"average person watches out for 3 trees a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person watches out for 0 trees per year. Georg Georg Georg, of the jungle, watches out for 10,000 each day, he is an outlier adn should not have been counted

posted by narain at 9:24 PM on May 27, 2014 [18 favorites]

I saw a huge spider in my house the other day, like small-tarantula size, and my very first thought was, "That can't be part of the statistic, because it's too big to fit in my mouth."

BUT I BET IT WOULD FIT IN SPIDERS GEORG'S MOUTH
posted by Nibbly Fang at 9:25 PM on May 27, 2014 [4 favorites]

"The average human has four to six living spiders inhabiting their body at any given time. Spiders help regulate blood pressure and bowel function, promote respiratory health, and can prevent or even reverse some types of cancer."
posted by anazgnos at 9:41 PM on May 27, 2014 [4 favorites]

scp-2269 is a sad example of what can happen when this natural regulatory system goes off the rails.
posted by sebastienbailard at 9:50 PM on May 27, 2014 [4 favorites]

If you eat a spider for breakfast each day, the day can only get better after that.

Or not.
posted by BlueHorse at 10:04 PM on May 27, 2014

Anyone actually worried about swallowing spiders in their sleep should read about the myth. It's very meta.

On the other hand, many people deliberately eat spiders, apart from good old Georg.
posted by Athanassiel at 10:30 PM on May 27, 2014

Is his name pronounced like the English "George" or is it "gay-org"? I need to know.

I keep thinking of it as "Jorg". Like "George", but with a hard final "g".

>>cant wait til people start saying the ‘x georg’ jokes are unfunny

>"spiders georg joke unfunny" factoid actualy just statistical error. spiders georg joke VERY funny. Buzzkill Georg, who lives in cave & thinks every joke is unfunny, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
posted by kagredon at 11:12 PM on May 27, 2014 [2 favorites]

9 of 10 spiders pronounce it "ohshitohshitohshitthatwayrunrunrun[die]"
posted by aydeejones at 11:45 PM on May 27, 2014 [1 favorite]

Athanassiel: "Anyone actually worried about swallowing spiders in their sleep should read about the myth. It's very meta."

It gets better. Someone did some research, and apparently neither Lisa Holst or "PC Professional" actually exist.
posted by KChasm at 2:01 AM on May 28, 2014 [2 favorites]

It's obvious if you are vegetarian
posted by Thaicompanypro at 2:12 AM on May 28, 2014

"average person finishes 3 hats a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person finishes 0 hats per year. Georg Seurat, who lives in cave & finishes over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

posted by Pallas Athena at 3:39 AM on May 28, 2014 [3 favorites]

KChasm: "apparently neither Lisa Holst or "PC Professional" actually exist".

The plot thickens even further! However it does seem to be true that we don't really eat spiders in our sleep. Unless we are Georg. Maybe.
posted by Athanassiel at 3:50 AM on May 28, 2014

some of my favorite georgs: mistakes, belts, liberal feminism, dragon age ii

i also made up some myself
posted by NoraReed at 4:13 AM on May 28, 2014 [1 favorite]

Math like that drives me nuts. The other day I was reading an article saying that average movie ticket prices are only $9.08 (up from $8.50 in 1998). In what universe?? Are you counting coupons? Group rates? That's not the average ticket price people. Grrr....
posted by St. Peepsburg at 4:50 AM on May 28, 2014

I hadn't heard of Spiders Georg but @maxlavergne puts the wit in twitter so I'm not surprised that he also puts the um in tumblr
posted by oulipian at 5:38 AM on May 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

NoraReed, Patriarchy Georg made me snerk. So he's the man who "not all men" are.
posted by Metroid Baby at 5:42 AM on May 28, 2014

The origin of the statistic is shrouded in spiders.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:20 AM on May 28, 2014

Some time when you have a few minutes to spare, look up the true story of Stewart "Oysters" Rockefeller and his shellfish allergy.

Tragic.
posted by Wolfdog at 8:13 AM on May 28, 2014

"average tumblr posts 3 georgs a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average tumblr posts 0 georgs per year. Georgs Spider, who lives in cave & posts over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
posted by panglos at 8:57 AM on May 28, 2014 [5 favorites]

Wait. Wait.

What?

Wait, what? What?

Um.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:36 PM on May 28, 2014

shakespearian: I am large. I contain millipedes.

That's just because you probably met you know who, at a meetup or something.
posted by JHarris at 6:53 PM on May 28, 2014

She wears short shorts
I am an outlier
She’s cheer cpatain adn I should not have been counted
posted by pony707 at 4:32 AM on May 29, 2014 [2 favorites]

My current favorite: "'average scottish singer would walk 3 miles' factoid actualy a statistical error. average scottish singer would walk 0 miles. charlie and craig reid, who would walk 500 miles and would walk 500 more, are outliers adn should not have been counted."

Although the inevitable William Carlos Williams riff is also pretty great.
posted by bettafish at 6:24 PM on June 1, 2014 [4 favorites]

Did you know that spiders are more scared of being eaten, than you're scared of eating them?
posted by Ned G at 5:25 AM on June 2, 2014