while my guitar not-so-gently weeps
July 12, 2014 7:22 PM   Subscribe

No comment made in print form seems adequate here. The correct response is a loud wail echoed by the feedback from an electric guitar.
posted by kinnakeet at 7:36 PM on July 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

That guy has great ears.
posted by todayandtomorrow at 7:38 PM on July 12, 2014 [3 favorites]

Frankly, it's the tux that does it.
posted by symbioid at 7:54 PM on July 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

Then there's this.
posted by BiggerJ at 7:58 PM on July 12, 2014 [19 favorites]

Haven't yet quite figured out the exact context for that video, but I've already found this.
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 7:58 PM on July 12, 2014 [5 favorites]

Good Lord, BiggerJ,I have had that dream!
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 8:03 PM on July 12, 2014 [4 favorites]

Basically the guy was caught embezzling. After about two hours of press grilling, he starts blubbering about how he just wants to change the world because nobody is buying his excuses. Needless to say, nobody had any sympathy or believed his tears.
posted by DoctorFedora at 8:06 PM on July 12, 2014 [9 favorites]

I want someone to take BiggerJ's video, extract the audio track, raise it half an octave and fuzz out the peaks, then mix it back in. I don't have those skills.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:07 PM on July 12, 2014

And a piano version.
posted by p3t3 at 8:22 PM on July 12, 2014 [6 favorites]

Here's a fantastic remix.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:54 PM on July 12, 2014 [4 favorites]

Steve Vai did this a long time ago... starts at 1:07. No video, though.
posted by Huck500 at 9:08 PM on July 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Also brings to mind The Happiness Project, an amazing set of recordings from Charles Spearin (of the band Broken Social Scene.)
posted by slappy_pinchbottom at 9:27 PM on July 12, 2014

...nobody had any sympathy or believed his tears.

Er, I don't think anyone questioned his tears. The narrative I've seen on the news is that he had a full-blown mental breakdown under the pressure, which seems to me to be exactly what happened. Of course this involved a lot of pathetic flailing and grasping for straws, too, and nobody gave THAT any credence, but he does seem to have genuinely lost his shit.

The photoshop brigade has been hard at work as well on this. Know your meme has some pretty good examples. They're mostly focused not on his crying, but his pathetic faux "I can't hear you" thing, where he actually cupped his hand in FRONT of his ear instead of behind it.

My favorite part is that the guy only stole like $30k. Kwame must be facepalming from federal penitentiary right now.

EDIT: this video has some pretty good photoshops as well!
posted by GoingToShopping at 9:35 PM on July 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Hubby says this reminds him of the Sarah Palin song.
posted by xedrik at 10:00 PM on July 12, 2014 [2 favorites]

Pete Drake
posted by quazichimp at 10:19 PM on July 12, 2014 [1 favorite]

Oh, yeah, the emotional breakdown was likely real, but it was the result of having been caught in wrongdoing and refusing to admit to anything over the course of like 90 minutes of press grilling. Even the people on the weekend news magazine TV programs were laughing at the footage.

Apparently he got caught after trying to claim a reimbursement on a train that had been canceled due to inclement weather. Between that and zero mention of leaving town at all, much less allegedly 3–5 times per week, on his blog, he was practically begging to be caught.
posted by DoctorFedora at 11:00 PM on July 12, 2014

The US press is not amused. This poor politician got grilled for ninety minutes? What barbarism! The press is absolutely not supposed to be so cruel. We must be nice to the poor politicians, particularly if we ever want them to let us interview them again. How could the Japanese press be so foolish and hurtful as to call out a public figure on their wrongdoing?
posted by koeselitz at 12:16 AM on July 13, 2014 [9 favorites]

Yes, 90 minutes grilling (or even 60 or 30) seems extremely odd. It would seem to be so easy to escape:

(after 10 minutes): "OK, last question. I've got a telephone conference with the Dalai Lama at 11."
(then, after that question): "I'm glad that I could answer all your questions. Thank you for your attention. Let's make this country a better place. Vote Quimby." (Gets up and leaves.)

Is that some cultural thing that Japanese politicians must stay until the last question is answered at a press conference? Or is it just that he wasn't able to bullshit his way out of an uncomfortable situation (thus disqualifying him from being an effective politician)?
posted by sour cream at 12:29 AM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Press meetings that long are not uniquely Japanese. Last year the leader of the largest Danish right-wing party (helpfully called “Venstre”, i.e., “Left”) Lars Løkke Rasmussen had to face the music after it had been uncovered that he had been flying first class (rather than business class) while chairing the Global Green Growth Institute (Link (Danish Wikipedia)).

That press meeting took 3 hours and 43 minutes. It probably saved his career at that time, being able to handle himself and acknowledging his mistakes. It of course did not prevent him for messing up again later, though that somehow did not affect his position as leader of the party, though it ultimately may affect his prospects as prime minister.
posted by bouvin at 3:16 AM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Poor guy (in some kind of way).

Does the guitarist have a mask over the lower portion of his face? Is that so he won't be recognized? or, I dunno, there is something kind of toxic about the whole situation.
posted by allthinky at 5:41 AM on July 13, 2014

posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 5:53 AM on July 13, 2014

There's quite a tradition of this. My first exposure was 1983's The Man From Utopia album by Frank Zappa. Here (for the 2nd time in this thread!) is Steve Vai: Jazz Discharge Party Hats
posted by keys at 7:39 AM on July 13, 2014

My favourite example of this has to be this track by Steve Vai:

posted by BobsterLobster at 8:58 AM on July 13, 2014

You know who's in New York? Remember that guy - John somebody?
posted by moonmilk at 9:28 AM on July 13, 2014 [1 favorite]

Here's what appears to be the original context. It's a Ryutaro Nonomura, a member of the Hyogo Prefectural Assembly, who is defending himself against accusations that he misappropriated 3 million yen (about $30,000 US dollars) to go to a luxury hot springs resort. The U.S. equivalent would probably be something like a state legislator defending himself against charges of receiving kickbacks from lobbyists.
posted by jonp72 at 1:04 PM on July 13, 2014

GoingToShopping: "Er, I don't think anyone questioned his tears."

Pretty much all the people I've personally talked to have questioned his tears (ok, not so much "questioned" as "did not believe for one second"). I'm not personally saying they're fake, just that in my experience there are a lot of people who believe they are fake.

sour cream: "Is that some cultural thing that Japanese politicians must stay until the last question is answered at a press conference?"

Funny you ask, just last week I did a translation of a company's incident / accident response manual, specifying what kinds of incidents warrant press conferences, which newspapers/TV stations to contact, how to contact, etc. (not sneaky stuff like "Don't call X, because they're strict", but normal stuff like "For this kind of incident, contact X at telephone number Y on weekdays, and telephone number Z on weekends. For that kind of incident, contact the local TV station in addition to the national TV station.", etc.) Anyway, point is, it explicitly stated that press conferences should be held until there are no longer any more questions from reporters.

allthinky: "Does the guitarist have a mask over the lower portion of his face? Is that so he won't be recognized?"

Japanese, in general, are much more focused on privacy then westerners. There are a lot of people who hide their faces in YouTube videos. (And a lot of musicians, now that I think of it). It's not like Anonymous wearing masks at Scientology protests or anything.
posted by Bugbread at 11:45 PM on July 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

Oh, I should point out that the manual was about incident/accident style press conferences (bad news press conferences), not product announcements or other good news press conferences. Good news press conferences can be closed pretty much any time — there are no concerns that ending the press conference will be seen as hiding something. Bad news press conferences, though, the manual made pretty clear, needed to go on until there are no more questions to avoid the impression that information is being concealed.
posted by Bugbread at 11:54 PM on July 13, 2014 [2 favorites]

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