It's a truth universally recognized that you have no game
August 2, 2014 5:19 PM   Subscribe



 
I can't help but hear the lines in the voice of EB Farnum in Deadwood.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:24 PM on August 2, 2014 [7 favorites]


‘Sweet lady, your virtues have so strangely taken up my thoughts, that therein they encrease and multiply in abundant felicity.’
Well, I suppose I could try that. I mean, the worst that could happen would be for the lady to look for the nearest exit and signal the bouncer. But that's what usually happens to me anyway.
posted by TDavis at 6:09 PM on August 2, 2014


Try the line in knee breeches and a frock coat. Maybe they will go over better.

On second thought, don't.
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:24 PM on August 2, 2014 [3 favorites]


Oh, I am so using this in my next Victorian fem dom novel. Yes I am!
posted by dejah420 at 6:38 PM on August 2, 2014 [1 favorite]


Oh, please- you may use whatever flattery, obsequiousness, or persiflage you fancy; but a gentleman knows that the way to attract a suitable wife is through demonstration of one's mastery of the terpsichorean arts.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 7:04 PM on August 2, 2014 [12 favorites]


Rule #1: Be Ben Franklin. Chicks dig Ben Franklin.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:16 PM on August 2, 2014 [8 favorites]


You win the internet on post title alone.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 8:50 PM on August 2, 2014 [2 favorites]


The day I realised Elizabeth and Darcy picked each other up by semi-inadvertent mutual negging was a sad day.
posted by Erasmouse at 12:51 AM on August 3, 2014 [8 favorites]


Madam, I must compliment you on your most attractive petticoat. It is most elegant and creates within me a yearning nostalgia for those years when such striking garments were the fashion.
posted by univac at 4:03 AM on August 3, 2014 [6 favorites]


Its not how big your cummerbund is...
posted by Nanukthedog at 5:36 AM on August 3, 2014


‘I am as lantern-jaw’d as you are platter-fac’d; but yet perhaps we may have lovely babes when we come together, if we can but tell how to get them.’

I'm just so delighted to find that negging was already a thing in the 1700s.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:57 AM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


Good sir, do you carry a smooth-bore flintlock breechloader duelling pistol, or could it be that you are merely pleased to see me?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:26 AM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


Rule #1: Be Ben Franklin. Chicks dig Ben Franklin.

I don't know. It is also true, as the ballad relates, that girls go crazy for a snowy-white periwig. Franklin, with his "natural hair," really only appeals to French ladies. Or so I am assured.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:35 AM on August 3, 2014 [1 favorite]


I don't know. It is also true, as the ballad relates, that girls go crazy for a snowy-white periwig.

French chalk, perruque,
And I’m lookin’ like a Royal Duke.
Silk ribbon, bow tied,
I don't need a reason why.
They come runnin' with a skip and a jig,
'Cause every girl crazy 'bout a snow-white wig.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:56 AM on August 3, 2014 [12 favorites]


I think I have met men who are still following this recipe.
posted by Michele in California at 1:29 PM on August 3, 2014


Maybe that's the way to do it: negging combined with self-negging.
posted by Too-Ticky at 12:30 AM on August 4, 2014


The day I realised Elizabeth and Darcy picked each other up by semi-inadvertent mutual negging was a sad day.

Well, if you take away the malevolent sociopathy of pick-up, isn't negging just a form of flirting by teasing?
posted by Apocryphon at 10:15 AM on August 4, 2014


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