Because they are cute little assholes. That's why.

August 6, 2014 1:06 PM

Cats Knocking Shit Over. [slyt | via]
posted by quin (57 comments total)

Saying "no" to a cat is one of my favourite things. It's like both an acceptance and celebration of the innate impotence of the human condition.
posted by Decani at 1:11 PM on August 6, 2014 [43 favorites]

Entrapment! No jury of their peers would convict!
posted by Zed at 1:13 PM on August 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

A big part of the problem in today's generation of cats is that instead of clapping our hands or yelling at our cats when they do stuff like this, we rush to get the phone to videotape or take a cute picture or something. (Erm, guilty)
posted by BuddhaInABucket at 1:15 PM on August 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Half the story, as usual. They don't show the humans putting shit on the Cat Shelves.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 1:17 PM on August 6, 2014 [9 favorites]

These are clearly videos of important cat scientists at work, checking that yes, gravity does exist. After all, your experiment needs to be repeatable by other cat scientists.
posted by halcyonday at 1:20 PM on August 6, 2014 [18 favorites]

Cats can easily be trained out of going on specific shelves or licking your dinner or what have you. It's a simple two step process:

1)Get a border collie.
2)Delegate.
posted by The Gaffer at 1:21 PM on August 6, 2014 [14 favorites]

Yeah, I posted this last November but it's cute to see that someone has built an extended video on it. Cats just can't seem to get over how cool gravity is.
posted by fuse theorem at 1:23 PM on August 6, 2014 [4 favorites]

"Fuck this."
posted by entropicamericana at 1:24 PM on August 6, 2014 [20 favorites]

Goddammit.
posted by entropicamericana at 1:25 PM on August 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

I like when they look you in the eye while they do it because they know you don't want them to, they just don't give a fuck.
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 1:26 PM on August 6, 2014 [13 favorites]

'Thou shalt have no other [shelf/table/counter objects] before me!'
posted by jamjam at 1:27 PM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Saying "no" to a cat is one of my favourite things. It's like both an acceptance and celebration of the innate impotence of the human condition.

A frequent refrain at our house is "Are you trying to reason with the cat again?"
posted by jocelmeow at 1:29 PM on August 6, 2014 [24 favorites]

I kinda like the one who gives his buddy a shove down the ladder.
posted by easily confused at 1:29 PM on August 6, 2014 [9 favorites]

If I were the sort of person who edited cat videos, I'd edit all the pill bottle cats in with the cat who knocks only the cigarettes into the trash (everything else goes on the floor) and make a "cats just say no" video. but I'm not.
posted by Maias at 1:35 PM on August 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Oh my gosh, cats are such assholes! They'll knock glasses of water over, a tower of tins, pills.

I'm getting a cat sometime in the future and I'm looking around at all the tchotchkes I have on flat surfaces with dread.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 1:49 PM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

My late prime-ministerial cat, Disraeli, had a thing for tugging books out of bookcases and chewing on their spines. For obvious reasons, this made me Sad. However, his habit did once produce this eponysterical result.
posted by thomas j wise at 1:51 PM on August 6, 2014 [7 favorites]

joseph conrad is fully awesome: I'm getting a cat sometime in the future and I'm looking around at all the tchotchkes I have on flat surfaces with dread.

Our cats almost never do this. I mean, they'll knock shit over because they are clumsy doofuses, and one of them likes to try and drink from the glass of water on your nightstand, and occasionally gets his head stuck, but they don't intentionally knock shit over. They do other fun and exciting things. We cannot keep plants in the house without them being eaten, for example.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:52 PM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'll add that none of the cats I've ever shared a home with has ever been hugely interested in assaulting the tchotchkes (the books being another story...), so you may get off easier than you think. Still, glass-enclosed display cabinets and ample supplies of museum wax may be in order.
posted by thomas j wise at 1:56 PM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

So, many cats are basically two year old humans who never grew up. And if I ever actually decide that I miss what my oldest son was like when he was little, instead of having another baby, I could just get a cat.
posted by Michele in California at 1:59 PM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I got to :33 and was all "yep, this is why we drink out of thinksport bottles all the time."

Then at :35 I was all "yep, this is why we don't light candles."

Then there were a lot more "yep, this is why...." moments.
posted by bowmaniac at 1:59 PM on August 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

God, I miss having a cat.
posted by JHarris at 2:01 PM on August 6, 2014 [6 favorites]

what? my cat intentionally knocks shit over at 6am if the automatic feeder wasn't filled

I have an imprint on my hard wood floor of my perfume bottle to tell the story of the great feeding ignore of '09.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:02 PM on August 6, 2014 [16 favorites]

I love how casual but deliberate these cats are about knocking stuff onto the floor. There's no malice about it. It's just like "Yeah, I just felt like pushing that glass off the table because it was there."

That poor polydactyl cat at the end! S/he looked so confused, like "Why do you keep putting this here if I can't knock it on the floor! I want to push it on the floor!"
posted by darksong at 2:05 PM on August 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

All too often these are the tools of their oppression.
posted by biffa at 2:16 PM on August 6, 2014

I am so gorram lucky my cat doesn't do this. I'm still not sure why.
posted by maryr at 2:17 PM on August 6, 2014

Yeah
posted by spikeleemajortomdickandharryconnickjrmints at 2:21 PM on August 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

Then there were a lot more "yep, this is why...." moments.

Ours was "This is why we drink our wine out of big chunky low-center-of-gravity tumblers instead of wineglasses like normal people".

They don't really defend against cats knocking things off tables, but they do give you a second or two more warning to stop it.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 2:44 PM on August 6, 2014 [2 favorites]

These cats are the cat scientists. They aren't being malicious. Notice that they carefully observe the objects all the way down; they hope to discover what these things contain and, not being able to unscrew them, this as good as they can do.

This is what we humans would be reduced to if we didn't have opposable thumbs — LHC would be a mile tall countertop and we would our clumsy paws to push things off them. Not as efficient, but needs must.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:53 PM on August 6, 2014 [19 favorites]

This cat I was catsitting for a friend loved knocking stuff down. One night, he knocked down a whole row of lit candles from the windowsill. It's a wonder he didn't start a fire, and it took me an hour to scrape all the remaining wax off the hardwood before I moved out.

Cats are jerks, and also sometimes: arsonists.
posted by mochapickle at 2:56 PM on August 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

Luckily, my cat does not do this. But he has a myriad of other fun quirks like sleeping in the same spot on our bed every night regardless of who or what is there already...Crying every time his automatic feeder drops below 50%, and the always fun...let's fuck with the dog, because...well, the dog is dumb and upsets easily.

At least he stopped spraying all of the electronics and small appliances in the house.
posted by Benway at 3:04 PM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I find it useful to remind my kittens that their poor behavior will go on their permanent record. That usually straightens them out.
posted by aubilenon at 3:10 PM on August 6, 2014 [6 favorites]

The principle behind this behavior is simple: Cats like to cause things.
posted by mudpuppie at 3:45 PM on August 6, 2014 [6 favorites]

Cats never fail to astonish this mere human. I have partnered my life with a cat or cats my whole life. My current young Lulu had to weasel her way into the heart of my older cat. Now she does something I have never seen before: whenever the two are reunited after a period of being apart Lulu throws her right front leg over old cat's shoulders as she accompanies her to the food and water bowls. Then she watches without interfering as old cat dines and drinks. No one taught her to do this.
posted by maggieb at 3:47 PM on August 6, 2014 [22 favorites]

Cats are minimalists. My cats help me pare down things on tabletops to only those that are necessary.

Anyway, gotta hear both sides.
posted by janey47 at 3:50 PM on August 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

Because you are incredibly jealous of these cats.
posted by ckape at 4:34 PM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I could not stop giggling! Apparently I think this is as worthwhile as the cats do. Thanks for posting.
posted by juliplease at 4:50 PM on August 6, 2014

I have three cats, none of whom intentionally knock shit over. One of them (Baxter) is this gigantic, Maine Coonish goofball who clumsily knocks stuff off of couch armrests when he jumps up.
posted by brundlefly at 5:33 PM on August 6, 2014

A frequent refrain at our house is "Are you trying to reason with the cat again?"

My preferred comment to Mrs. Zen is "It's a good thing you're talking to him/her in English ..."
posted by ZenMasterThis at 6:00 PM on August 6, 2014 [8 favorites]

My late prime-ministerial cat, Disraeli, had a thing for tugging books out of bookcases and chewing on their spines.

I read this as "The late prime minister, Disraeli, had a thing for tugging books out of bookcases and chewing on their spines." and thought this was quite an insight into Victorian politics.
posted by 445supermag at 7:19 PM on August 6, 2014 [5 favorites]

Our cat does not push things off flat surfaces often, instead relying on singing the songs of his people in the wee hours to make sure that we are paying him due attention.
posted by arcticseal at 8:14 PM on August 6, 2014 [8 favorites]

Yeah, cat mischief definitely varies. Mine didn't push things off or eat plants (or books) but regarded every flat thing on the floor as something to sit on, under and generally roll around in/on in an ecstasy of rabbit punches. Great for rugs, bath mats, newspaper, etc. I learned not to keep things on the floor.
posted by Athanassiel at 8:45 PM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

This is a double.

But the original link is busted now, so IDK.
posted by sparklemotion at 9:36 PM on August 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

Chaplin will push things off the sink, but that's about it.
posted by SisterHavana at 9:38 PM on August 6, 2014

This is a double.

And yet, even the new video is still missing this.
posted by radwolf76 at 9:47 PM on August 6, 2014 [4 favorites]

my big cat gives my little cat a slap on the butt to make her run. it's sort of a 'get along little doggies'/herding cattle gesture, with the motivation is pure assholery
posted by angrycat at 1:32 AM on August 7, 2014 [4 favorites]

I am so glad my cats don't do this. My cats are pukers, though, so I'm not sure I won.
posted by jeather at 6:12 AM on August 7, 2014 [5 favorites]

One night, he knocked down a whole row of lit candles from the windowsill.

I take it you'd never lived with cats before.
posted by aught at 6:14 AM on August 7, 2014 [4 favorites]

Good point! Almost never. I'd lived with my partner's cat years before, but he was more of a cat-shaped dog than an actual cat. I had no idea until the catsitting week what a full-blown cat was capable of: knock over lit candles, scratch a hole in a down pillow so to have a fluffy place to sleep and subsequently make it look like it was snowing, hide in my tiny studio apartment so effectively I was sure he'd escaped, and on the last night: perch along the ridge of my walk-out rooftop and make like he was going to jump!

It was an adventure for sure.
posted by mochapickle at 9:06 AM on August 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

Yeah. Cats are great.
posted by maryr at 2:21 PM on August 7, 2014 [2 favorites]

maggieb: Lulu throws her right front leg over old cat's shoulders as she accompanies her to the food and water bowls

You must post video!
posted by funkiwan at 5:06 PM on August 7, 2014

And yet, even the new video is still missing this.

I love that the cat doesn't even notice what it's done. It's attention is totally on something else.
posted by scalefree at 7:59 PM on August 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

You know, when you film your cat knocking something over that won't spill, it's cute. When you film your cat knocking over a glass of water, that's just sad.

Too much cute has affected your sense of proportion.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:47 PM on August 7, 2014

Hmm. Most cats are left-handed. Who knew?
posted by lhauser at 5:57 AM on August 8, 2014

That's just what they want you to think. Most likely, all cats are ambidextrous; predators are not about to give away all their secrets to potential prey.
posted by misha at 8:43 AM on August 9, 2014 [2 favorites]

Our cat is definitely a southpaw. If he's pointing at something, usually his food bowl, it's with his left paw.
posted by arcticseal at 4:23 PM on August 9, 2014

your cat points at his food bowl?
posted by angrycat at 6:58 AM on August 10, 2014

Oh yeah, he's currently sat downstairs pointing at the door and insisting that RIGHT NOW is the time for a walk. He's a short haired Persian and very talkative.
posted by arcticseal at 7:37 AM on August 10, 2014 [3 favorites]