And the answer is...
August 27, 2014 7:58 AM Subscribe
Flowchart: Should you catcall her? From playboy.com. Flowchart designed by @sheastrauss. Link is NSFW (images) if you scroll all the way to the footer, or drawn silhouettes of women in the flowchart are problematic. Slightly NSFW text.
Is she literally a feline? Y/N
It's not quite the top 10 party commandments that weren't really by Playboy, but this is a good thing for them to publish. I wonder if this appeared in the print magazine? It would be interesting to see a full page of this, before the playmate of the month section.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:05 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
It's not quite the top 10 party commandments that weren't really by Playboy, but this is a good thing for them to publish. I wonder if this appeared in the print magazine? It would be interesting to see a full page of this, before the playmate of the month section.
posted by filthy light thief at 8:05 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
I only read Playboy for the feminist flowcharts
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:09 AM on August 27, 2014 [79 favorites]
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 8:09 AM on August 27, 2014 [79 favorites]
I'd have thought you could just modify the panflute flowchart
posted by thelonius at 8:11 AM on August 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by thelonius at 8:11 AM on August 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
I only read Playboy for the feminist flowcharts
:)
posted by Fizz at 8:14 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
:)
posted by Fizz at 8:14 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
Strauss is super funny. Laughing my ass off at her obits for Disney villains.
posted by ODiV at 8:15 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by ODiV at 8:15 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
Imgur mirror from reddit for people who can not click on playboy.com at work.
posted by nooneyouknow at 8:24 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by nooneyouknow at 8:24 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
Looking for "should you make hundreds of millions of dollars from photographs of women's nude bodies" flowchart, brb
posted by bonaldi at 8:26 AM on August 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by bonaldi at 8:26 AM on August 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
Playboy has its issues, but this is a great flowchart, nicely appropriating the language of catcalling and still leading to the right conclusions.
posted by Dip Flash at 8:29 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Dip Flash at 8:29 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
I catcall all the time. But always after going down that "Is she literally a cat?" line. I mean, come on. Some of those cats are just asking for it. Have you seen the way they walk?
posted by Decani at 8:33 AM on August 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Decani at 8:33 AM on August 27, 2014 [3 favorites]
This is a good time to remind everyone that the word "literally" literally means "literally," and should not be used as a figurative way of expressing a superlative.
posted by randomkeystrike at 8:50 AM on August 27, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by randomkeystrike at 8:50 AM on August 27, 2014 [10 favorites]
i totally cat-call to real, literal cats. I wonder if they are getting fucking sick of it.
posted by angrycat at 9:04 AM on August 27, 2014 [7 favorites]
posted by angrycat at 9:04 AM on August 27, 2014 [7 favorites]
i totally cat-call to real, literal cats. I wonder if they are getting fucking sick of it.
posted by angrycat at 9:04 AM on August 27 [+] [!]
Eponyselfanswering?
posted by NMcCoy at 9:09 AM on August 27, 2014 [8 favorites]
posted by angrycat at 9:04 AM on August 27 [+] [!]
Eponyselfanswering?
posted by NMcCoy at 9:09 AM on August 27, 2014 [8 favorites]
Just FYI: It's NSFW because the url includes "playboy.com". Once that's a given, most companies' proxy servers aren't going to care what is actually on the page.
posted by beerbudget at 9:14 AM on August 27, 2014
posted by beerbudget at 9:14 AM on August 27, 2014
The whole thing is good but I too especially lol'd at "Here Kitty Kitty."
> i totally cat-call to real, literal cats. I wonder if they are getting fucking sick of it.
I know at least one that seems to be, since she's absolutely not responding to the all-points bulletin. She has this magical sixth sense about when a trip to the vet for a shot is what's on the menu.
> the word "literally" literally means "literally,"
There once was a maid from Madrass
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not pretty and pink,
As you probably think;
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
posted by jfuller at 9:14 AM on August 27, 2014 [15 favorites]
> i totally cat-call to real, literal cats. I wonder if they are getting fucking sick of it.
I know at least one that seems to be, since she's absolutely not responding to the all-points bulletin. She has this magical sixth sense about when a trip to the vet for a shot is what's on the menu.
> the word "literally" literally means "literally,"
There once was a maid from Madrass
Who had a magnificent ass.
Not pretty and pink,
As you probably think;
It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
posted by jfuller at 9:14 AM on August 27, 2014 [15 favorites]
There once was a maid from Madrass
At least for the Madras in Oregon the pronunciation breaks the rhyme ("MAHD-rus" not "Muh-DRASS"); one hopes other places of that name are more poetically compliant.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:27 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
At least for the Madras in Oregon the pronunciation breaks the rhyme ("MAHD-rus" not "Muh-DRASS"); one hopes other places of that name are more poetically compliant.
posted by Dip Flash at 9:27 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
This is a good time to remind everyone that the word "literally" literally means "literally," and should not be used as a figurative way of expressing a superlative.
This is a good time to remind everyone that human language evolves and prescriptive linguists are literally fascists.
To stop thread jacking, this chart is great, and has definitely changed how I think about my interactions with my cat.
posted by Itaxpica at 9:30 AM on August 27, 2014
This is a good time to remind everyone that human language evolves and prescriptive linguists are literally fascists.
To stop thread jacking, this chart is great, and has definitely changed how I think about my interactions with my cat.
posted by Itaxpica at 9:30 AM on August 27, 2014
NMcCoy: "i totally cat-call to real, literal cats. I wonder if they are getting fucking sick of it.
posted by angrycat at 9:04 AM on August 27 [+] [!]
Eponyselfanswering?"
Eponyferalwangings?
posted by symbioid at 9:32 AM on August 27, 2014
posted by angrycat at 9:04 AM on August 27 [+] [!]
Eponyselfanswering?"
Eponyferalwangings?
posted by symbioid at 9:32 AM on August 27, 2014
Looking for "should you make hundreds of millions of dollars from photographs of women's nude bodies" flowchart, brb
I think that depends on the agency of the women in question, personally. Same for naked men, and everyone in between. Not erasing or ignoring the sexist social structures around the whole idea, of course.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:38 AM on August 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
I think that depends on the agency of the women in question, personally. Same for naked men, and everyone in between. Not erasing or ignoring the sexist social structures around the whole idea, of course.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:38 AM on August 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
I would say this is not a good time to remind everyone of that, since interpreting literally as figuratively in this case undermines the whole thing.
posted by ckape at 9:39 AM on August 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by ckape at 9:39 AM on August 27, 2014 [5 favorites]
"There once was a lass from Madrass
posted by librosegretti at 9:48 AM on August 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by librosegretti at 9:48 AM on August 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
Imgur mirror from reddit for people who can not click on playboy.com at work.
Would probably be great for mods to add this to the fpp, pls.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:48 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
Would probably be great for mods to add this to the fpp, pls.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:48 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
If you catcall a cat without food in your hand have you done anything at all?
posted by tommasz at 10:55 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by tommasz at 10:55 AM on August 27, 2014 [1 favorite]
In my house, you've probably gotten bitten.
posted by InfidelZombie at 11:14 AM on August 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by InfidelZombie at 11:14 AM on August 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
Hef likes to claim that Playboy's most profound social influence has been to improve the lives of women, specifically their sex lives, by promoting the idea that there's no reason to be ashamed of being naked, nor of taking pleasure in sex. Of course, women not being ashamed of being naked also benefits the men who want to look at them naked; so while i don't find the claim totally persuasive, neither do I find it laughable. In any case, I'm enjoying the fact that, in a magazine that trades on images of naked women and their ability to inflame, it's considered bad manners to cat-call. Progress!
posted by Zerowensboring at 1:14 PM on August 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Zerowensboring at 1:14 PM on August 27, 2014 [2 favorites]
I think that depends on the agency of the women in question, personally.
That's why it's a flowchart.
posted by bonaldi at 4:37 PM on August 27, 2014
That's why it's a flowchart.
posted by bonaldi at 4:37 PM on August 27, 2014
This is a good time to remind everyone that the word "literally" literally means "literally," and should not be used as a figurative way of expressing a superlative.
That is a popular misconception, but actually, you're quite wrong!
posted by kenko at 5:08 PM on August 27, 2014
That is a popular misconception, but actually, you're quite wrong!
posted by kenko at 5:08 PM on August 27, 2014
That was better than I expected.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:57 PM on August 27, 2014
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:57 PM on August 27, 2014
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posted by BlahLaLa at 8:03 AM on August 27, 2014