The Mystery of Britney Spears' Breasts.

January 28, 2002 6:37 PM

The Mystery of Britney Spears' Breasts. (Requires Flash)
posted by adrober (35 comments total)

Double D post.

heh.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 6:44 PM on January 28, 2002

I must say I was udderly fascinated by that informative and insightful analysis of ms. spears most important assets.
posted by tcobretti at 6:59 PM on January 28, 2002

impressive research. i wonder if the grant money for such an endeavor was difficult to come by.
posted by eyeballkid at 7:03 PM on January 28, 2002

Hilarious. Couldn't stop laughing and looking.
posted by Rastafari at 7:11 PM on January 28, 2002

My...Lord.

Was anyone else freaked out by the canned laugh/clap track? That piece of Flash animation took way too much time and energy. I don’t know whether to laugh at the Flash animation or at whoever made it.

Actually Both.
posted by plemeljr at 7:23 PM on January 28, 2002

Actually, I've been browsing that site, and they have tons of cool stuff.
posted by tcobretti at 7:35 PM on January 28, 2002

Yeah...I just played this game.

Warning, not work safe; not safe for those who don't understand men's obsession with breasts.
posted by plemeljr at 7:45 PM on January 28, 2002

I thought the Golden Globes happend last week...
posted by spilon at 8:10 PM on January 28, 2002

What a fun link...I couldn't stop snickering either! Now, not to spoil the party, but there are many ways to boost the size of your bust that are not permanent. Note: These links are quite tame, but due to some nudity, possibly not safe for office.

(1) Push-up bras: This includes the Wonderbra and all of its look-alikes, which push available flesh upwards and outwards to simulate a fuller breast. (2) Duct tape: The original push-up bra and fabulous for evening gowns where nothing else will fit but you still need a semblance of cleavage--especially effective in a strapless dress. (3) BRAVA: The vacuum-induced method of creating fullness. Apparently, it works, but sure does look painful. (4) A good old-fashioned padded bra.
posted by mosspink at 8:50 PM on January 28, 2002

I guess that I'm not that amused. She's a talented young lady by most standards. Well, compared to me anyway. Very attractive. Seems fairly personable. And the best that we can do is to be fascinated by her breasts. I'm going to stick with post-S-11 flag waving and just say, "God Bless America that we have women like Ms. Spears".
posted by treywhit at 9:00 PM on January 28, 2002

She's a talented young lady by most standards. Well, compared to me anyway.

She's musically talented compared to me too, but that's not to say that she's very talented at all. There are plenty of good acts out there. The fact that I couldn't do what she does doesn't mean she deserves fanfare. The fact that the size of her breasts is obviously manipulated in order to draw attention to them is worthy of discussion and, depending on what her motives are for doing so, derision.

Now, I wasn't amused either, but I was fairly intrigued. You've gotta admit, there's something weird going on with those things.
posted by Hildago at 9:05 PM on January 28, 2002

I dunno, everyone in the dorm thought it was pretty damn cool. I agree with the final assessment as well, I think a B+ size is a pretty reasonable guess.
posted by insomnyuk at 9:14 PM on January 28, 2002

It's obvious isn't it? "Britney Spears" is actually a set of quintuplets with varying chest size.

All I can think is, "Lucky Justin."
posted by ODiV at 9:39 PM on January 28, 2002

I am no longer interested in who shot JFK
posted by RobertLoch at 9:39 PM on January 28, 2002

oops! sorry, my first double post.
posted by mosspink at 9:58 PM on January 28, 2002

oops! sorry, my first double post

That's OK...if you hadn't posted, I wouldn't have been able to play Pump It Up on the airwonder page. Mmmm...boobies.
posted by kirkaracha at 10:26 PM on January 28, 2002

Now, not to spoil the party, but there are many ways to boost the size of your bust that are not permanent

Shh. Shh. Don't you know that ignorance is bliss? We die first, the least you could give us is the belief that all breasts are naturally pumped up.

Next thing you'll say there's no Christmas Poo.
posted by owillis at 10:37 PM on January 28, 2002

What!?
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:50 PM on January 28, 2002

My favorite part was the Super Bowl shot and how it allowed me to remember that I've seldom seen a singer look more lost than Britney did trying to remember the second verse of "Walk This Way." Aerosmith, Britney and *Nsync on stage together. Man, that was one weird television moment.
posted by diddlegnome at 11:02 PM on January 28, 2002

kirkaracha: I hadn't noticed the Pump It Up feature until you pointed it out....mighty neat, but what if a gal is wearing it and it springs a leak?

owillis: LOL...okay, okay. You get special permission to bliss out all you want, but the next time you're with a special lady friend and her boob starts hissing at you, don't say I didn't try to warn you. ;)
posted by mosspink at 11:34 PM on January 28, 2002

Good band name- The Hissing Boobs (just think about the album title possibilities)
posted by tcobretti at 12:30 AM on January 29, 2002

And the best that we can do is to be fascinated by her breasts.

Well, that is the most fascinating thing about her. And it is what she's built her career on. Maybe one day if she actually sings we'll find out if she has other talents.

She is cute, but the world is full of beautiful people, even more beautiful than ms. spears.

"God Bless America that we have women like Ms. Spears".

I read somewhere that ms. spears represents everything wrong with america. While I won't go that far, I'd say it's a good start.
posted by justgary at 2:11 AM on January 29, 2002

I read somewhere that ms. spears represents everything wrong with america.

*rolls eyes*

Ever since there has been pop culture, there have been untalented, mildly attractive hacks rammed down the throats of teens.
posted by glenwood at 6:52 AM on January 29, 2002

I have know problem with what Spears does in and of itself, but I do have a problem with the delusions she seems to be under about what she sells and what her fans are buying. I respect Jenna Jameson more, she's honest.
posted by McBain at 8:57 AM on January 29, 2002

She's musically talented compared to me too, but that's not to say that she's very talented at all. - hildago

Come on! She sings, she dances, she acts, she entertains. If that's not talent, then I don't know what is (and I do know what talent is). I just don't like her music. There was another young woman many years ago that I felt the same about who went by the name of Madonna. I wonder what happened to her?

It's obvious isn't it? "Britney Spears" is actually a set of quintuplets with varying chest size. - ODiV

hee hee hee
posted by ashbury at 9:03 AM on January 29, 2002

Ashbury -- Wasn't saying she's not talented, only trying to show that having greater comparable talent than person x isn't sufficient proof of real, genuine talent.
posted by Hildago at 9:42 AM on January 29, 2002

Hildago - Ahh. That is true, isn't it? A million pardons.
posted by ashbury at 9:56 AM on January 29, 2002

Hildago: methinks yer digging yerself a hole, here. Who determines what real, genuine talent is? Let's remember, Miss Spears has been at this game for about 80% of her life.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go speak with my priest about how i could have been drawen so far from my G-d as to contibute any defense of B.S. (love those initials). Anyone remember all the words to The Apostle's Creed?

posted by nagchampa at 10:11 AM on January 29, 2002

impressive research. i wonder if the grant money for such an endeavor was difficult to come by.

A missed opportunity to use the word endowment. ;)
posted by terrapin at 10:21 AM on January 29, 2002

drawen?!?! That's 10 more Hail Marys for me. drawen sheesh...
::shakes head and walks away mumbling::
posted by nagchampa at 10:25 AM on January 29, 2002

nagchampa: Did someone say Creed? You want the naff rock band discussion, two threads down.
posted by allaboutgeorge at 11:08 AM on January 29, 2002

Ever since there has been pop culture, there have been untalented, mildly attractive hacks rammed down the throats of teens.

There's a joke in here somewhere about Britney and who is ramming what down whose throat, but I can't quite get to it.
posted by briank at 11:19 AM on January 29, 2002

"...rammed down the throats of teens."

Now that sounds like a porn site I know... :)
posted by soulhuntre at 11:26 AM on January 29, 2002

Hildago: methinks yer digging yerself a hole, here. Who determines what real, genuine talent is? Let's remember, Miss Spears has been at this game for about 80% of her life.

Haha. I don't know, who does determine what real, genuine talent is? I don't claim to, I just point out no necessary correllation between two possible states.. you're reading the rest in by yourself.

But you're right on the digging my grave part.
posted by Hildago at 3:35 PM on January 29, 2002

Ever since there has been pop culture, there have been untalented, mildly attractive hacks rammed down the throats of teens.

*rolls eyes*

I haven't read anything here saying otherwise. Still, the new crop of 'untalented, midly attractive hacks' have reached an unheard of popularity level.

BSB is bigger than New Kids ever were, Britney is far bigger than Tiffany ever was.

Thankfully, their time in the sun seems to be quickly coming to an end.

As far as the madonna comparisons, we'll have to wait a few years for them to actually mean anything.
posted by justgary at 6:39 PM on January 29, 2002