Reaffirming My Faith in the Young
September 12, 2014 6:51 PM Subscribe
The Most Punk Rock Diary Entry Ever. Discovered by Jason Isbel, as reported by Badass Digest.
You can come to my library with pretty much any genre in mind and find many of the definite albums of that genre alongside a decent selection of weird stuff and plenty of other things.
I forgive you for being unfamiliar with the Punk-osity of your local library. Just be happy that kids are still fcking punk enough to use it.
posted by carsonb at 7:18 PM on September 12, 2014 [12 favorites]
I forgive you for being unfamiliar with the Punk-osity of your local library. Just be happy that kids are still fcking punk enough to use it.
posted by carsonb at 7:18 PM on September 12, 2014 [12 favorites]
I want to believe. But unfortunately, my 'fake' sensors are going off right now.
posted by Green Winnebago at 7:20 PM on September 12, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Green Winnebago at 7:20 PM on September 12, 2014 [4 favorites]
I enjoyed this, but yeah, if the DK ranted about "the man" it would be in a spirit of hippy-tweaking irony.
posted by idiopath at 7:21 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by idiopath at 7:21 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
PA, this looks to be 2004 if we're going to believe it's real. And yeah, I want to believe, but it doesn't quite feel right.
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 7:23 PM on September 12, 2014
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 7:23 PM on September 12, 2014
It's either fake or you're making fun of a 14 year old girl. Awesome?
posted by RustyBrooks at 7:24 PM on September 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by RustyBrooks at 7:24 PM on September 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
Whether or not this is real, everyone should go listen to the Dead Kennedys right now and know for a fact they made at least one good decision today.
posted by griphus at 7:24 PM on September 12, 2014 [13 favorites]
posted by griphus at 7:24 PM on September 12, 2014 [13 favorites]
Though, my experiences of discovering a Smegma album and an Elliot Sharp album at an impressionable age were definitely formative.
posted by idiopath at 7:26 PM on September 12, 2014
posted by idiopath at 7:26 PM on September 12, 2014
I dunno. Her tumblr looks like the work of someone who knows the scene. Not a guarantee that she isn't lying about having written it in 2004 as a 10 year old, I suppose, but at a bare minimum it wasn't made up by anyone other than the person claiming to have lived it.
posted by Ipsifendus at 7:27 PM on September 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Ipsifendus at 7:27 PM on September 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
Although, to play devil's advocate to myself: In 2005, I spent a few months living on an island with a year-round population of less than 1000, and one of my favorite locals was a high school girl whose only shirts seemed to be DK t-shirts, and I can actually see her writing something like this.
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 7:27 PM on September 12, 2014
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 7:27 PM on September 12, 2014
It's either fake or you're making fun of a 14 year old girl. Awesome?
posted by RustyBrooks at 7:24 PM on September 12
Huh? All the credulous responses to this seem to be along the line of "Fuck yeah!"
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 7:30 PM on September 12, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by RustyBrooks at 7:24 PM on September 12
Huh? All the credulous responses to this seem to be along the line of "Fuck yeah!"
posted by a box and a stick and a string and a bear at 7:30 PM on September 12, 2014 [5 favorites]
There is no joy that mefites are not capable of scrutinizing doubtfully.
posted by ardgedee at 7:39 PM on September 12, 2014 [21 favorites]
posted by ardgedee at 7:39 PM on September 12, 2014 [21 favorites]
"I am more punk than anyone else I have met in my life" is going to be my daily affirmation now.
posted by griphus at 7:39 PM on September 12, 2014 [30 favorites]
posted by griphus at 7:39 PM on September 12, 2014 [30 favorites]
Also yeah all the responses I've seen to this around the web were not making fun of her in the least.
posted by griphus at 7:42 PM on September 12, 2014
posted by griphus at 7:42 PM on September 12, 2014
This is fucking great.
It's possible she mixed up the Dead Kennedys with someone else RE: the man, possibly because of "the man with the dogs"? This seems especially likely if one of the albums was a compilation of some kind, which is the kind of thing libraries often have.
posted by NoraReed at 7:43 PM on September 12, 2014
It's possible she mixed up the Dead Kennedys with someone else RE: the man, possibly because of "the man with the dogs"? This seems especially likely if one of the albums was a compilation of some kind, which is the kind of thing libraries often have.
posted by NoraReed at 7:43 PM on September 12, 2014
Yeah she said in the first sentence that she checked out a bunch of CDs. Presumably there was much talking about 'the man' on the ones that weren't DK?
Very credible. Sounds very punk and very credible to me.
posted by carsonb at 7:53 PM on September 12, 2014
Very credible. Sounds very punk and very credible to me.
posted by carsonb at 7:53 PM on September 12, 2014
I also thought this looked fake.
I can not believe in it without making fun of it.
I wonder what else is like that...
posted by maryr at 7:54 PM on September 12, 2014
I can not believe in it without making fun of it.
I wonder what else is like that...
posted by maryr at 7:54 PM on September 12, 2014
The Man with the Dogs is the only Dead Kennedys song in which they mention "the man," and they are not using it the way she is. It's about stalking, told from the point of view of the stalker, although it's pretty obvious that the song is critical of the narrator.
That being said, fiction or not, this is an awfully fun letter, and that in and of itself is worth something.
posted by maxsparber at 7:55 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
That being said, fiction or not, this is an awfully fun letter, and that in and of itself is worth something.
posted by maxsparber at 7:55 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
fucking fashists, man.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:55 PM on September 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by leotrotsky at 7:55 PM on September 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
You know, I am opposed to The Man as anyone, but I also cannot think of any DK song, or really any well-known punk or hardcore song from the '80s that specifically references The Man.
I'm not sure what she's referring to. It's weird.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:09 PM on September 12, 2014
I'm not sure what she's referring to. It's weird.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:09 PM on September 12, 2014
Aw man, this brings me back to my days of slowly getting over my boy band phase by checking out older music/music my mom wouldn't let me buy because of explicit lyrics from the library. I remember checking out Sweet Relief II (which, in turn, got me into Vic Chesnutt once I got into downloading). Nevermind. A bunch of different Pearl Jam albums. A bunch of R.E.M. Being able to test out all this music, before widespread pirating really took hold, was one of the first means I had of discovering anything released during the time period when I was too young to be listening to the radio or trawling record stores, but after my dad quit following pop (and thus having things in his record collection for me to raid.)
A quick search reveals that you can, in fact, get Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables through the library system I grew up using, though not at the branch in my hometown. In my current city you can also get Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death, though that's in a big urban library system with more overall choices.
Tl;dr--I have no trouble believing this note was written by a real live 14 year-old, and please keep funding your local library system.
posted by ActionPopulated at 8:15 PM on September 12, 2014 [7 favorites]
A quick search reveals that you can, in fact, get Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables through the library system I grew up using, though not at the branch in my hometown. In my current city you can also get Give Me Convenience or Give Me Death, though that's in a big urban library system with more overall choices.
Tl;dr--I have no trouble believing this note was written by a real live 14 year-old, and please keep funding your local library system.
posted by ActionPopulated at 8:15 PM on September 12, 2014 [7 favorites]
Maybe she was listening to a 45 single of Fuck Shit Up by DNSS? "Take a stand/ Fuck the man!"
If we're doing head canon that is mine.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:17 PM on September 12, 2014
If we're doing head canon that is mine.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:17 PM on September 12, 2014
I basically lived in the local library when I was her age and bugged the librarians who I guess had a lot of patience. I can definitely see one explaining to me why punk rock was so angry was because of the Man.
posted by griphus at 8:18 PM on September 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by griphus at 8:18 PM on September 12, 2014 [3 favorites]
Even if this is fake, it is real enough for me.
I mean, come on, the first wave marquee name of punk was a complete sham.
Its a sham because fuck the man.
posted by Joey Michaels at 8:25 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
I mean, come on, the first wave marquee name of punk was a complete sham.
Its a sham because fuck the man.
posted by Joey Michaels at 8:25 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
Hating the man ain't punk — the oldest stalest rock'n'roll is filled with that stuff. To quote pxe2000: "Want to do something [that's punk]? Pick up your thud stick (whether that's a bass or a pen or a camera) and make the noise you need to make, man." I hope the writer did.
posted by benito.strauss at 8:30 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by benito.strauss at 8:30 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
There is no joy that mefites are not capable of scrutinizing doubtfully.
But doubtful scrutinizing is a joy in itself!
I always feel like the main thing that gives away fake "found items" like this are lines that feel more like jokes than plausible things someone might write. The most obvious one in here is the "Bush or the singer's principal" line. The contrast between an accurate political target for punk music versus a silly 10-year-old idea of "the man" is what makes it funny, but it's also not something an actual clueless kid would just happen to write. Most of the lines are jokes though, it's very economically written in terms of not having lines that don't directly contribute to a joke. Most real kids writing that is funny without trying to be funny is more in the Ax Cop vein, where the humor comes from incoherence and non sequiturs rather than a series of well-written accidental jokes.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:33 PM on September 12, 2014 [6 favorites]
But doubtful scrutinizing is a joy in itself!
I always feel like the main thing that gives away fake "found items" like this are lines that feel more like jokes than plausible things someone might write. The most obvious one in here is the "Bush or the singer's principal" line. The contrast between an accurate political target for punk music versus a silly 10-year-old idea of "the man" is what makes it funny, but it's also not something an actual clueless kid would just happen to write. Most of the lines are jokes though, it's very economically written in terms of not having lines that don't directly contribute to a joke. Most real kids writing that is funny without trying to be funny is more in the Ax Cop vein, where the humor comes from incoherence and non sequiturs rather than a series of well-written accidental jokes.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:33 PM on September 12, 2014 [6 favorites]
I think that it's fake and I like that it's fake.
posted by StopMakingSense at 8:34 PM on September 12, 2014
posted by StopMakingSense at 8:34 PM on September 12, 2014
TIL that lying doesn't count at the library.
posted by brundlefly at 9:02 PM on September 12, 2014 [8 favorites]
posted by brundlefly at 9:02 PM on September 12, 2014 [8 favorites]
I hate to be that guy, but..DK at the library?
My friends and I discovered DK, Husker Du, the VU and a whole host of other stuff at our library back in the 80s and 90s, and checking that same library's catalogue now I see that they've got 7 DK CDs/DVDs, so this doesn't seem at all weird to me. Damn that place was a lifesaver in the pre-internet world.
posted by Pink Frost at 9:03 PM on September 12, 2014 [8 favorites]
My friends and I discovered DK, Husker Du, the VU and a whole host of other stuff at our library back in the 80s and 90s, and checking that same library's catalogue now I see that they've got 7 DK CDs/DVDs, so this doesn't seem at all weird to me. Damn that place was a lifesaver in the pre-internet world.
posted by Pink Frost at 9:03 PM on September 12, 2014 [8 favorites]
"I am more punk than anyone else I have met in my life" is going to be my daily affirmation now.
I thought it was over when I took that job in insurance, but along came Matt Korvette to make it OK again
posted by Hoopo at 10:29 PM on September 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
I thought it was over when I took that job in insurance, but along came Matt Korvette to make it OK again
posted by Hoopo at 10:29 PM on September 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
I definitely checked some Jello Biafra spoken word albums out from the library in Buttcheesenowhere, Rural Canada when I was 14. Librarians are boss, man.
posted by 256 at 10:56 PM on September 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by 256 at 10:56 PM on September 12, 2014 [2 favorites]
add me to the "regrettably, it feels like a fake" tally.
I think that it's fake and I like that it's fake.
but I can write better fiction. So can you probably. So can many people I know. It does matter if it's fake.
posted by philip-random at 11:10 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think that it's fake and I like that it's fake.
but I can write better fiction. So can you probably. So can many people I know. It does matter if it's fake.
posted by philip-random at 11:10 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think it's fake and that makes it extra punk. ♥
posted by betweenthebars at 11:12 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by betweenthebars at 11:12 PM on September 12, 2014 [1 favorite]
Is this where I self-link to a Youtube video of DK being used for a viagra ad? I think it is! Pretty sure the idea came from a Mefite, can't remember who. But thanks.
Music playing over black screen for ~7 seconds was totally on purpose to get the ending to sync up, yes.
posted by Lemurrhea at 12:34 AM on September 13, 2014 [2 favorites]
Music playing over black screen for ~7 seconds was totally on purpose to get the ending to sync up, yes.
posted by Lemurrhea at 12:34 AM on September 13, 2014 [2 favorites]
Punk in 2014 is as punk as Sha Na Na was rock and roll in 1982.
It's punk rock like an Impreza.
posted by sonascope at 1:02 AM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
It's punk rock like an Impreza.
posted by sonascope at 1:02 AM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
Buttcheesenowhere, Rural Canada
Man, I have GOT to get back up there for their moose nose eating festival...
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:27 AM on September 13, 2014
Man, I have GOT to get back up there for their moose nose eating festival...
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:27 AM on September 13, 2014
You know who wants you to think this is fake? The Man, that's who!
posted by mondo dentro at 6:21 AM on September 13, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by mondo dentro at 6:21 AM on September 13, 2014 [4 favorites]
But if the Dead Kennedies do not like the man so don't I.
Wouldn't it be more punk to think for yourself?
posted by Jeff Morris at 6:35 AM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
Wouldn't it be more punk to think for yourself?
posted by Jeff Morris at 6:35 AM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
I for one am happy to be reminded that political awakening as a teenager is a process, and that for some 80s hardcore is part of that process. Representing a moment in time where glitter ink and hearts are valid expressions next to DKs references is completely awesome.
posted by drowsy at 6:38 AM on September 13, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by drowsy at 6:38 AM on September 13, 2014 [3 favorites]
There is almost nothing more punk than sneering at how non-punk someone else is.
Ergo, MeFi is punk as fuck.
posted by Etrigan at 6:40 AM on September 13, 2014 [2 favorites]
Ergo, MeFi is punk as fuck.
posted by Etrigan at 6:40 AM on September 13, 2014 [2 favorites]
You're not punk and I'm telling everyone.
posted by 256 at 6:54 AM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by 256 at 6:54 AM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
I always had to snicker about my stalker girlfriend gal pal from 1985, who constantly went on about what poseurs most folks were (but her) and dated a dude who'd dubbed himself "Sodium Peroxide" because of how crazy fucking punk it is to be a chemical in an entirely doomed attempt to lure me in through jealousy (though I might have pondered committing sodiumy if it were in the cards). She used to scowl around the mall, wearing a rat, snarling that she didn't know why all the fucking normals couldn't keep their bloody fookin' eyeballs to themselves.
"Well, you are wearing a rat and one side of a leather jacket over a ripped teal prom dress," I'd point out, which would just get me the sneer. The rat had no comment.
Punk was already over then, and that was thirty years ago. Even great strutting fist-shaking rebellious transgressive movements die, being shambling organisms and all, and the next thing to cheese off the fascists just isn't good enough because things were so much more real in our time (they usually weren't) and because we love to hang on desperately to that moment when we felt like we were going to be the ones to really shake up the world (we were and we did and now it's someone else's turn).
If there was something really good in punk then (I believe there was), it's still out there now, but it's not playing dress-up and snarling tough-kid and shock-the-folks in the same way, because your mom loves the Clash and was there and is now your mom. Inviting your Southern Baptist family to your big gay wedding is punk. Knitting on the train is punk. Fixing your own car is punk. Celibacy is punk. None of it's punk. The bar is always just ahead of us, or far behind. It's all punk, maybe, but it hates to hear its name uttered aloud.
Hearts dotting the letter i seem not very punk, but it's not my flavor.
posted by sonascope at 9:18 AM on September 13, 2014 [7 favorites]
"Well, you are wearing a rat and one side of a leather jacket over a ripped teal prom dress," I'd point out, which would just get me the sneer. The rat had no comment.
Punk was already over then, and that was thirty years ago. Even great strutting fist-shaking rebellious transgressive movements die, being shambling organisms and all, and the next thing to cheese off the fascists just isn't good enough because things were so much more real in our time (they usually weren't) and because we love to hang on desperately to that moment when we felt like we were going to be the ones to really shake up the world (we were and we did and now it's someone else's turn).
If there was something really good in punk then (I believe there was), it's still out there now, but it's not playing dress-up and snarling tough-kid and shock-the-folks in the same way, because your mom loves the Clash and was there and is now your mom. Inviting your Southern Baptist family to your big gay wedding is punk. Knitting on the train is punk. Fixing your own car is punk. Celibacy is punk. None of it's punk. The bar is always just ahead of us, or far behind. It's all punk, maybe, but it hates to hear its name uttered aloud.
Hearts dotting the letter i seem not very punk, but it's not my flavor.
posted by sonascope at 9:18 AM on September 13, 2014 [7 favorites]
You're not punk and I'm telling everyone.
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:05 AM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by The Hamms Bear at 10:05 AM on September 13, 2014 [1 favorite]
’What Every Child Needs To Know About Punk Rock’ is a real children’s book that actually exists
posted by homunculus at 10:38 AM on September 20, 2014
posted by homunculus at 10:38 AM on September 20, 2014
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