Wait for Me!
September 24, 2014 9:43 AM Subscribe
Deborah Cavendish née Mitford has died at the age of 94. She is famously the youngest of the Mitford Sisters, the Dowager Dutchess of Devonshire and author of 12 books.
The youngest of the Mitford Sisters, she had mostly avoided scandal in her life. She married Andrew Cavandish the second son of the 10th Duke of Devonshire, who inherited the dukedom when his older brother died in World War 2.
Debo, as she was called by her family, then devoted her life to that of a dutchess , helping to modernize the Chatsworth House and increase it's visitors.
She was friends with and painted by Lucian Freud had met Hitler and was very close with Jack Kennedy and Evelyn Waugh. She was famously an animal lover despite being a fox hunting enthusiast.
The youngest of the Mitford Sisters, she had mostly avoided scandal in her life. She married Andrew Cavandish the second son of the 10th Duke of Devonshire, who inherited the dukedom when his older brother died in World War 2.
Debo, as she was called by her family, then devoted her life to that of a dutchess , helping to modernize the Chatsworth House and increase it's visitors.
She was friends with and painted by Lucian Freud had met Hitler and was very close with Jack Kennedy and Evelyn Waugh. She was famously an animal lover despite being a fox hunting enthusiast.
Oh that's so sad. I've read heaps of books about/by the various Mitfords. So very very different from my own family; that's their allure, I think.
posted by JanetLand at 10:19 AM on September 24, 2014
posted by JanetLand at 10:19 AM on September 24, 2014
If you've never heard of the Mitfords, they are sort of like Britain's Kennedys
I'm not sure it's fair to call the Kennedys fascist-sympathising anti-semitic snobs, because the Mitfords sure as fuck were.
The Kennedys actually served their country, instead of betraying it.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:20 AM on September 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
I'm not sure it's fair to call the Kennedys fascist-sympathising anti-semitic snobs, because the Mitfords sure as fuck were.
The Kennedys actually served their country, instead of betraying it.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:20 AM on September 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
fascist-sympathising anti-semitic snobs
That isn't a fair brush with which to tar all the family.
posted by yoink at 10:23 AM on September 24, 2014 [12 favorites]
That isn't a fair brush with which to tar all the family.
posted by yoink at 10:23 AM on September 24, 2014 [12 favorites]
> I'm not sure it's fair to call the Kennedys fascist-sympathising anti-semitic snobs
You know about Joe, right? And Robert Jr. wants to charge the Koch brothers with treason and send climate dissenters to jail. Though those forms of fascism will be more popular around here that Unity Mitford's was.
posted by jfuller at 10:32 AM on September 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
You know about Joe, right? And Robert Jr. wants to charge the Koch brothers with treason and send climate dissenters to jail. Though those forms of fascism will be more popular around here that Unity Mitford's was.
posted by jfuller at 10:32 AM on September 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
That isn't a fair brush with which to tar all the family.
Right, some of them were communist-sympathizing anti-Semitic snobs.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:32 AM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Right, some of them were communist-sympathizing anti-Semitic snobs.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:32 AM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Well, Jessica was communist, not sure if any of the others were. And she married a Jew, so there is that. No idea what Debo's views were.
In general they were astonishingly dim as far as politics goes.
posted by IndigoJones at 10:38 AM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
In general they were astonishingly dim as far as politics goes.
posted by IndigoJones at 10:38 AM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Hmm, guess we get the wave of tale-dishing miniseries and books now! Seem to recall quite a lot of potential ones being scotched by concern over Debo's potential legal reaction.
posted by tavella at 10:44 AM on September 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by tavella at 10:44 AM on September 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
Let's summarize:
Unity: Fascist, in love with Hitler, attempted suicide after declaration of war on Germany
Diana: Fascist, beloved by Hitler, married to British Fascist Oswald Mosley
Pamela: laid low, but rabid anti-Semite according to reports filed by Nancy to British Government
Jessica (Decca): writer, Communist Party member
Nancy: writer, snob, coined "U and non-U," spied on sisters for British Government
Deborah: boring, married 2nd son of Devonshire, his older brother died, she became duchess.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:49 AM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Unity: Fascist, in love with Hitler, attempted suicide after declaration of war on Germany
Diana: Fascist, beloved by Hitler, married to British Fascist Oswald Mosley
Pamela: laid low, but rabid anti-Semite according to reports filed by Nancy to British Government
Jessica (Decca): writer, Communist Party member
Nancy: writer, snob, coined "U and non-U," spied on sisters for British Government
Deborah: boring, married 2nd son of Devonshire, his older brother died, she became duchess.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:49 AM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Mod note: Maybe this could be more about the subject of the post and less an argument right out of the gate about how much her family members and/or the Kennedys were fascists?
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:55 AM on September 24, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by cortex (staff) at 10:55 AM on September 24, 2014 [6 favorites]
.
(because she was still a human being, no matter how much I dislike them all)
posted by marienbad at 11:05 AM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
(because she was still a human being, no matter how much I dislike them all)
posted by marienbad at 11:05 AM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
In Tearing Haste is a collection of letters between Deborah Devonshire and Patrick Leigh Fermor and is an entertaining read: Debo was refreshingly free of the certainties her sisters possessed. She did remarkable things for Chatsworth House (which is always worth a visit).
posted by Huw at 11:05 AM on September 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Huw at 11:05 AM on September 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
Seconding Huw's recommendation, though the book was not quite as wonderful (or as long) as I had hoped. (Then again, neither was Leigh-Fermor's final volume.)
(Actually it was Alan S.C. Ross who coined U and non-U. Nancy just popularized it. Never heard that Debo was boring....)
posted by IndigoJones at 11:15 AM on September 24, 2014
(Actually it was Alan S.C. Ross who coined U and non-U. Nancy just popularized it. Never heard that Debo was boring....)
posted by IndigoJones at 11:15 AM on September 24, 2014
Force-Ranking the Mitford Sisters
Debo was #3, but that's not too shabby when you've got Jessica and Nancy as competition.
.
posted by jonp72 at 11:22 AM on September 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
Debo was #3, but that's not too shabby when you've got Jessica and Nancy as competition.
.
posted by jonp72 at 11:22 AM on September 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
From a letter to Paddy:
'V trusting of the commissioners, they think because my sisters can write I can too. Ha ha. They will be sorry soon'.
I thought In Tearing Haste and The Broken Road shared a similar appealing frankness (although obviously not as good as A Time of Gifts, but what could be?).
vacapinta is right: this is the end of an era.
posted by Huw at 11:22 AM on September 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
'V trusting of the commissioners, they think because my sisters can write I can too. Ha ha. They will be sorry soon'.
I thought In Tearing Haste and The Broken Road shared a similar appealing frankness (although obviously not as good as A Time of Gifts, but what could be?).
vacapinta is right: this is the end of an era.
posted by Huw at 11:22 AM on September 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
(Actually it was Alan S.C. Ross who coined U and non-U. Nancy just popularized it.
She did, in fact, popularize it--but accidentally. Alan Ross had used her novels in his article on U and non-U speech. She picked up the terms and used them in a purely tongue-in-cheek way, but that fact rather got lost to sight when the meme went viral. The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate are both hilarious--whatever one happens to think of Nancy--who also wrote a swingeing satirical attack on Oswald Mosley's blackshirts (Wigs on the Green) and sympathized with neither her communist nor fascist sisters.
posted by yoink at 11:26 AM on September 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
She did, in fact, popularize it--but accidentally. Alan Ross had used her novels in his article on U and non-U speech. She picked up the terms and used them in a purely tongue-in-cheek way, but that fact rather got lost to sight when the meme went viral. The Pursuit of Love and Love in a Cold Climate are both hilarious--whatever one happens to think of Nancy--who also wrote a swingeing satirical attack on Oswald Mosley's blackshirts (Wigs on the Green) and sympathized with neither her communist nor fascist sisters.
posted by yoink at 11:26 AM on September 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
Most of the Mitfords were awful in so many ways, true. But they were still a fascinating family who not only lived through but left a mark on history. Bad, good, or indifferent, they're still important.
Over time Debo became my favorite, mainly because I want to be this Bruce Weber photograph when I'm old.
posted by padraigin at 11:47 AM on September 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
Over time Debo became my favorite, mainly because I want to be this Bruce Weber photograph when I'm old.
posted by padraigin at 11:47 AM on September 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
sympathized with neither her communist nor fascist sisters.
But she did vote Labour!
Wigs on the Green and Pigeon Pie are journeyman's work, promises of better things to come. I sometimes wonder how much of a hand Evelyn Waugh had in the making of the writer. (Their collected letters are really the goods.)
posted by IndigoJones at 11:52 AM on September 24, 2014
But she did vote Labour!
Wigs on the Green and Pigeon Pie are journeyman's work, promises of better things to come. I sometimes wonder how much of a hand Evelyn Waugh had in the making of the writer. (Their collected letters are really the goods.)
posted by IndigoJones at 11:52 AM on September 24, 2014
I have at best a second-order fascination with the Mitfords. The sisters themselves hold relatively little interest for me but somehow, whenever I come across the topic, I'm always completely intrigued by the level of fascination they seem to exert on others here on Metafilter (and possibly elsewhere, though I haven't personally encountered the Cult of Mitford anyplace else.)
posted by Nerd of the North at 11:59 AM on September 24, 2014
posted by Nerd of the North at 11:59 AM on September 24, 2014
Given what some of her sisters were doing, I can't say that I really view 'spied on her sisters for the British Government' to be a _negative_ feature of Nancy.
posted by tavella at 12:42 PM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by tavella at 12:42 PM on September 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
vacapinta: If you've never heard of the Mitfords, they are sort of like Britain's Kennedys. A family that defined their era.
Actually, the Mitfords were weirdly entwined with the Kennedys.
Had fate not determined differently, Kathleen "Kick" Kennedy (JFK's little sister) would have had the title Debo ended up with (the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire)!
Kennedy rebel & socialite Kick was briefly married to the eldest son (& heir) of the 10th Duke of Devonshire, William. The Kennedy clan had relocated to London when Joe was appointed UK ambassador in 1938 - a job he notoriously lost in 1940. Kick's marriage to William took place despite Kennedy matriarch Rose's notoriously seething disapproval because the British toffs were not Catholic. Four months after the marriage, William was killed in action in Belgium in September 1944.
Thus William's place in the order of succession was taken by his younger brother Andrew (who had already married Debo Mitford in 1941). The 10th Duke - i.e. William & Andrew's father - died in 1950.
Kick - widowed & without children - died violently herself - in a private plane crash in 1948, with her then lover, the not yet unmarried, Peter Wentworth-Fitzwilliam, the 8th Earl Fitzwilliam.
So sue me if I have any of this wrong - but I edited a book about the Fitzwilliam family about eight years ago & this family tree stuff stuck - although wiki has helped with the dates!
(And not that it matters, but if you ever get the chance, do read Jessica - the "commie writer" sister - specifically her absolutely brilliant investigation, The American Way of Death, [wiki] "an exposé of abuses in the funeral home industry in the United States...published in 1963. Feeling that death had become much too sentimentalized, highly specialized, and, above all, excessively expensive, Mitford published her research, which, she argues, documents the ways in which funeral directors take advantage of the shock and grief of friends and relatives of loved ones to convince them to pay far more than necessary for the funeral and other services, such as availability of so-called "grief counselors," a title she claims is unmerited. ")
To dismiss the Mitfords as a bunch of pointless toffs is to miss out on so much!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 12:57 PM on September 24, 2014 [7 favorites]
Actually, the Mitfords were weirdly entwined with the Kennedys.
Had fate not determined differently, Kathleen "Kick" Kennedy (JFK's little sister) would have had the title Debo ended up with (the Dowager Duchess of Devonshire)!
Kennedy rebel & socialite Kick was briefly married to the eldest son (& heir) of the 10th Duke of Devonshire, William. The Kennedy clan had relocated to London when Joe was appointed UK ambassador in 1938 - a job he notoriously lost in 1940. Kick's marriage to William took place despite Kennedy matriarch Rose's notoriously seething disapproval because the British toffs were not Catholic. Four months after the marriage, William was killed in action in Belgium in September 1944.
Thus William's place in the order of succession was taken by his younger brother Andrew (who had already married Debo Mitford in 1941). The 10th Duke - i.e. William & Andrew's father - died in 1950.
Kick - widowed & without children - died violently herself - in a private plane crash in 1948, with her then lover, the not yet unmarried, Peter Wentworth-Fitzwilliam, the 8th Earl Fitzwilliam.
So sue me if I have any of this wrong - but I edited a book about the Fitzwilliam family about eight years ago & this family tree stuff stuck - although wiki has helped with the dates!
(And not that it matters, but if you ever get the chance, do read Jessica - the "commie writer" sister - specifically her absolutely brilliant investigation, The American Way of Death, [wiki] "an exposé of abuses in the funeral home industry in the United States...published in 1963. Feeling that death had become much too sentimentalized, highly specialized, and, above all, excessively expensive, Mitford published her research, which, she argues, documents the ways in which funeral directors take advantage of the shock and grief of friends and relatives of loved ones to convince them to pay far more than necessary for the funeral and other services, such as availability of so-called "grief counselors," a title she claims is unmerited. ")
To dismiss the Mitfords as a bunch of pointless toffs is to miss out on so much!
posted by Jody Tresidder at 12:57 PM on September 24, 2014 [7 favorites]
.
Just read both Hons and Rebels and The Pursuit of Love this year. I really should read The American Way of Death sometime ... Haven't read any of Deborah Mitford's books, not as much in my interests. Are they any good?
(By the way, is dismissing Jessica Mitford as "writer, Communist party member" a thing now? You know, considering she was also, for example, a civil rights activist, investigative journalist, distinguished academic, and singer who opened for Cyndi Lauper? And someone on this thread has seriously suggested she was an anti-semite? What?)
posted by kyrademon at 1:00 PM on September 24, 2014 [10 favorites]
Just read both Hons and Rebels and The Pursuit of Love this year. I really should read The American Way of Death sometime ... Haven't read any of Deborah Mitford's books, not as much in my interests. Are they any good?
(By the way, is dismissing Jessica Mitford as "writer, Communist party member" a thing now? You know, considering she was also, for example, a civil rights activist, investigative journalist, distinguished academic, and singer who opened for Cyndi Lauper? And someone on this thread has seriously suggested she was an anti-semite? What?)
posted by kyrademon at 1:00 PM on September 24, 2014 [10 favorites]
I really enjoyed "Wait for Me!" by Debo. It's a pretty straight forward biography that doesn't delve too deep into her sister's stories, but she sailed though so much history that it was an interesting read. I think she is charming.
posted by Duffington at 1:37 PM on September 24, 2014
posted by Duffington at 1:37 PM on September 24, 2014
One detail from Jessica Mitford's career as a civil rights activists is that her car was overturned and torched by a segregationist mob when she was covering the 1961 Freedom Rides in Birmingham, Alabama. (Just to clarify, she was not in the car at the time.)
posted by jonp72 at 1:42 PM on September 24, 2014
posted by jonp72 at 1:42 PM on September 24, 2014
By the way, is dismissing Jessica Mitford as "writer, Communist party member" a thing now?
Don't know that it's particularly new. She's always been a polarizing figure, with acolytes and people who simply cannot stand her. Count me among the latter. Perhaps she was charming in person, don't know, never met her, but there's a cheery self-satisfaction about her that just rubs me the wrong way. For all her outspoken egalitarianism, she was snob. A snob for The People, but still a snob.
Deborah Mitford's books are worth reading. I'd recommend Love in a Cold Climate before any of them, however. (Don't Tell Alfred is a disappointment.)
American Way of Death is basically shooting fish in a barrel. No doubt worth doing, but if you can read only one mid-twentieth century book by a Briton on the American funeral industry, make it The Loved One.
posted by IndigoJones at 2:06 PM on September 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
Don't know that it's particularly new. She's always been a polarizing figure, with acolytes and people who simply cannot stand her. Count me among the latter. Perhaps she was charming in person, don't know, never met her, but there's a cheery self-satisfaction about her that just rubs me the wrong way. For all her outspoken egalitarianism, she was snob. A snob for The People, but still a snob.
Deborah Mitford's books are worth reading. I'd recommend Love in a Cold Climate before any of them, however. (Don't Tell Alfred is a disappointment.)
American Way of Death is basically shooting fish in a barrel. No doubt worth doing, but if you can read only one mid-twentieth century book by a Briton on the American funeral industry, make it The Loved One.
posted by IndigoJones at 2:06 PM on September 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
Deborah Mitford's books are worth reading. I'd recommend Love in a Cold Climate before any of them, however. (Don't Tell Alfred is a disappointment.)
You mean Nancy, IndigoJones.
Nancy Mitford wrote Love in a Cold Climate & Don't Tell Alfred. (Easy mistake!)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 2:46 PM on September 24, 2014
You mean Nancy, IndigoJones.
Nancy Mitford wrote Love in a Cold Climate & Don't Tell Alfred. (Easy mistake!)
posted by Jody Tresidder at 2:46 PM on September 24, 2014
I think InigoJones knows Nancy wrote Love in a Cold Climate. He's saying that NM's Love in a Cold Climate is better than "any of" Deborah Mitford's books.
posted by yoink at 3:05 PM on September 24, 2014
posted by yoink at 3:05 PM on September 24, 2014
Deborah Mitford remained close to her unrepentant Nazi sister Diana throughout their lives. She wasn't outwardly political, but I wouldn't be surprised if her views were like those of Pamela and Tom, but that she learned the lesson not to be blatant about it. Really, the whole family seems to have had fascist and pro-Nazi tendencies except for Nancy and Jessica, and the latter's views were arguably only slightly better.
Also, she should have sold off the rural land but kept the art collection more intact.
posted by knoyers at 6:34 PM on September 24, 2014
Also, she should have sold off the rural land but kept the art collection more intact.
posted by knoyers at 6:34 PM on September 24, 2014
I'm not going to join in any sniffing at Deborah Mitford. I think she was probably the happiest of the sisters and she seems to have done very well in a role she didn't expect when she married. Although Chatsworth was and is exceedingly valuable, she contributed a great deal to keeping it and making it pay its way; that was a terrific accomplishment. I love that she was able to have her beloved chickens all her life. As for her sisters, I trust they remained sisters. The only Impressionist painting in all the Chatsworth collection is a small beauty given to Debo by her sister.
posted by Anitanola at 7:21 PM on September 24, 2014
posted by Anitanola at 7:21 PM on September 24, 2014
I don't have any opinions about Debo, but read A Fine Old Conflict to understand Jessica's complicated relationship with the Communist Party - blindly partisan lackey she was not.
posted by naoko at 7:39 AM on September 25, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by naoko at 7:39 AM on September 25, 2014 [1 favorite]
Yoink's got it. My bad, however, for being less than perfectly lucid.
posted by IndigoJones at 7:46 AM on September 25, 2014
posted by IndigoJones at 7:46 AM on September 25, 2014
Whatever your opinion of Debo, the Telegraph obituary is worth a read:
Her dislikes included magpies; women who want to join men’s clubs; hotel coat-hangers; and drivers who slow down to go over cattle grids. She regretted the passing of brogues, the custom of mourning, telegrams, the 1662 Prayer Book, pinafores for little boys and Elvis Presley (“the greatest entertainer ever to walk on a stage”).posted by verstegan at 10:19 AM on September 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
In 2003 she published The Chatsworth Cookery Book, introducing it with the words: “I haven’t cooked since the war.”
Whatever your opinion of Debo, the Telegraph obituary is worth a read:
The Telegraph obituaries are a treasure, always worth a read. Collections have been published in five volumes, plus the 'best of the best'. Make a great gift.
posted by Anitanola at 12:38 PM on September 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
The Telegraph obituaries are a treasure, always worth a read. Collections have been published in five volumes, plus the 'best of the best'. Make a great gift.
posted by Anitanola at 12:38 PM on September 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
A brief comment from Mallory Ortberg: We Now Live in a World Without Mitford Sisters
And don't miss previously from the Toast: Force-Ranking the Mitford Sisters (Mallory and Nicole are mostly in agreement; Debo comes in solidly middling in both rankings).
posted by naoko at 5:32 PM on September 25, 2014
And don't miss previously from the Toast: Force-Ranking the Mitford Sisters (Mallory and Nicole are mostly in agreement; Debo comes in solidly middling in both rankings).
posted by naoko at 5:32 PM on September 25, 2014
Oops, I see the rankings one already made an appearance upthread.
posted by naoko at 5:34 PM on September 25, 2014
posted by naoko at 5:34 PM on September 25, 2014
My late mother was very close to Jessica Mitford at one point.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 10:04 PM on September 25, 2014
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 10:04 PM on September 25, 2014
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That makes it even odder that their sister Unity was Hitler's girl.
If you've never heard of the Mitfords, they are sort of like Britain's Kennedys. A family that defined their era.
Today, the last of the sisters departs and an era comes to a close.
posted by vacapinta at 10:04 AM on September 24, 2014 [4 favorites]