Happy birthday to no one.
September 29, 2014 11:09 AM   Subscribe

 
See also: cookie pie.
posted by joseph conrad is fully awesome at 11:12 AM on September 29, 2014


It's lasagna! Lasagna with uncooked dough in the middle!
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:13 AM on September 29, 2014 [15 favorites]


not sure if want
posted by poffin boffin at 11:14 AM on September 29, 2014 [2 favorites]


Is Pillsbury punking us?
posted by Kitteh at 11:15 AM on September 29, 2014 [2 favorites]


Happy birthday to the floor.
posted by maryr at 11:16 AM on September 29, 2014 [19 favorites]


Some times science is so interested in asking if something can be done, that it neglects to ask if it should be done.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:16 AM on September 29, 2014 [4 favorites]


What? Stuffed-Crust Pizza is evolving!
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:19 AM on September 29, 2014 [7 favorites]


Now do you all see the true menace in marijuana legalization?
posted by ennui.bz at 11:20 AM on September 29, 2014 [9 favorites]


Isn't this just known as "Chicago-Style"?
posted by Greg Nog at 11:20 AM on September 29, 2014 [14 favorites]


so they just stacked a bunch of pizzas and baked them together? why? why not just eat four slices of pizza individually? why do they have to be stacked on top of each other and baked together?
posted by ChuckRamone at 11:22 AM on September 29, 2014 [2 favorites]


Wouldn't it be simpler and more tasty to just make the individual pizza layers entirely separately and then pile them up in a prebaked outer crust?

ok maybe not simpler but surely tastier?
posted by poffin boffin at 11:22 AM on September 29, 2014 [3 favorites]


The "Crazy-Great Pizza Ideas" at the bottom of the page are even more distressing.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:24 AM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]


It's lasagna! Lasagna with uncooked dough in the middle!

They cook each of the layers separately (8 minutes). I can't say they won't get soggy or something, but they're not raw anyway.
posted by aubilenon at 11:25 AM on September 29, 2014


I'm over pizza cake already, somebody make matryoshka calzone
posted by prize bull octorok at 11:25 AM on September 29, 2014 [18 favorites]


Apparently the recipe was developed as part of a Top Secret government program known as the Man Fatten Project.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:26 AM on September 29, 2014 [13 favorites]


I especially like that I misread the author's surname as Sisyphus at least 3 times without finding it the least bit odd.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:31 AM on September 29, 2014 [4 favorites]


Hmmm.

Hmmmmmmm.
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:31 AM on September 29, 2014 [3 favorites]


Serve it up with an amuse-bouche and y'all have the classic American breakfast.
posted by a lungful of dragon at 11:33 AM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]


Hmmm.

this will be the cause of death listed on my autopsy report
posted by poffin boffin at 11:34 AM on September 29, 2014 [2 favorites]


Serve it up with an amuse-bouche and y'all have the classic American breakfast.

Oh god why
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:38 AM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]


oh my god it's just a cold slice of american cheese, you can still see the cellophane wrinkles

this world can only be cleansed by fire
posted by poffin boffin at 11:40 AM on September 29, 2014 [3 favorites]


huh. Wish the original author of this concept could get credit - I remember seeing this on imgur months ago, but it referenced someone else suggesting the idea.
posted by rebent at 11:45 AM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]


So, the kid loves math shows, particularly Team Umi Zoomi - where the maguffin in one episode was an "ice cream pizza." This notion fixated in her four year old brain, so when % rolled around, she didn't want a birthday cake. She wanted Ice Cream Pizza.

So, I found a "giant chocolate chip cookie" recipe - the secret is to flatten out and shape a big blob of the dough onto silicone parchment paper into a disk, and transfer the paper, dough and all, to a pre-heated pizza stone and bake for 12 mins.

While it cooled (carefully slide the paper to the cooling rack), I let some cookie-dough ice cream soften, and did likewise, flattening out a big blob into a rough disk shape, then used a huge flat spatula to slide it from the paper to the cookie, and put the whole magilla, cooling rack and all, into the freezer to set.

After dinner, we brought it out, let it warm up enough for the ice cream to get a little soft, and then let the kid have at it with a pack each of mega-M&M's, bite-size Twix and bite-size Milkyways, a jar of rainbow sprinkles, and a squeezable bottle of hot-fudge sauce for "toppings."

She declared it was better than the one on the TV, which pleased me no end.
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:52 AM on September 29, 2014 [14 favorites]


Well, now I know what they serve in the third circle of Hell:


"Oh, you like pizza, eh? Well how about a cake made of pizzas!"
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:52 AM on September 29, 2014


You know, you deep fry that and I bet it'd go like wildfire at county fairs all across America.
posted by Naberius at 11:54 AM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]


You'd have to put it on a stick.
posted by poffin boffin at 11:55 AM on September 29, 2014


It's not all you want to eat, it's all you can eat.
posted by GuyZero at 11:57 AM on September 29, 2014 [2 favorites]


GuyZero: It's not all you want to eat, it's all you can eat.
And THAT is the quintessential problem with American buffets.
posted by IAmBroom at 11:58 AM on September 29, 2014


someone make a pie pie where you stack pies on top of each other and bake them together. then you could have an apple pie pie.
posted by ChuckRamone at 12:08 PM on September 29, 2014


that already exists though
posted by poffin boffin at 12:10 PM on September 29, 2014 [3 favorites]


Umm, isn't this is just a multi-layered, Chicago-style deep dish pizza?
posted by Perko at 12:12 PM on September 29, 2014


I tried to Google matryoshka calzone, but I got the result "To the Brim: New Restaurant Stuffs You With Sausages" so NOPE, done with that.
posted by maryr at 12:15 PM on September 29, 2014 [3 favorites]


This thread makes me want to buy a bunch of Pillsbury products, put on some Shriekback, and bake up the most appalling things I can think of.
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:23 PM on September 29, 2014 [4 favorites]


Shriekbaklava?
posted by boo_radley at 12:25 PM on September 29, 2014 [3 favorites]


It screams when you eat it.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:26 PM on September 29, 2014


Btw I thought the leech eating a worm was going to be the most horrifying thing I saw on MetaFilter today, then that cherpumple link got posted
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:28 PM on September 29, 2014 [3 favorites]


The staff of Wait Wait were kind enough to eat this so we don't have to.
posted by kalimac at 12:43 PM on September 29, 2014


Wow those guys are on the cutting edge of the social media feedback loop.
posted by GuyZero at 12:48 PM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]


Shrewsbury Pie Pie Pie

This week, the Fist Of Fun cameras had been sent to Shrewsbury in Shropshire to catch up with the Shrewsbury Pie Pie festival.
Every year, the people of Shrewsbury keep their leftover pies for the Pie Man who collects them all together & puts them in a giant Pie Shell. The Piemaster whisks up all the pies and once the pies have been cooked together, the giant Pie Pie is eaten the feast day of St. Ian, the patron saint of pies.
The authorities are obviously very concerned about this tradition, explaining that every decade the people of Shrewsbury also make a Pie Pie Pie, containing leftovers of Pie Pies from the previous ten years. Meaning of course that some elements of the Ten Year Pie Pie Pie could be hundreds of years old!
But fear not, the Pie Man understands the importance of properly cooking his wares, and so gets two domestic electric heaters & turns them right up to setting three.

(I can't find a clip of it though, sorry)
posted by Just this guy, y'know at 12:52 PM on September 29, 2014


Thanks to that last comment, I am on a quest to find a restaurant that serves perpetual stew! Yelp says there was one in Indiana (complete with a picture of it being served by a chef who looks exactly like you'd imagine a chef who works at a restaurant that serves perpetual stew to look like) but it closed down. I can't help but think it closed down due to perpetual stew-related health code violations. Oh well, back to searching!
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:12 PM on September 29, 2014


I'll never understand the idea that if *food* tastes good, 5 x *food* must taste even better. All this stacking and stuffing of food on food and this illicit excitement about the obscene amounts of grease involved.
I don't know, it's like the other side of the diet obsession coin.

Or maybe it's an American thing? It sometimes seems that Americans pride themselves on being able as a society to provide any excess of service and luxury that a customer might want. And really, some amazing things are available to Anericans that would have foundered on European skepticism.

Anyway. I don't get the glee that greets bacon stuffed with bacon type inventions. Isn't the goal just to eat something delicious, instead of eating something that gives you heartburn just by looking at it?
posted by Omnomnom at 1:45 PM on September 29, 2014


we will not be denied our freedom to have heartburn whenever we choose!
posted by poffin boffin at 2:34 PM on September 29, 2014


I'll never understand the idea that if *food* tastes good, 5 x *food* must taste even better. All this stacking and stuffing of food on food and this illicit excitement about the obscene amounts of grease involved.
I don't know, it's like the other side of the diet obsession coin.

Or maybe it's an American thing? It sometimes seems that Americans pride themselves on being able as a society to provide any excess of service and luxury that a customer might want. And really, some amazing things are available to Anericans that would have foundered on European skepticism.

Anyway. I don't get the glee that greets bacon stuffed with bacon type inventions. Isn't the goal just to eat something delicious, instead of eating something that gives you heartburn just by looking at it?


I don't know, the Romans and medieval royalty were pretty good at feasts that involved hideous giant pastries and Things Cooked Inside Other Things.
posted by emjaybee at 2:44 PM on September 29, 2014 [3 favorites]


> ... This notion fixated in her four year old brain, so when % rolled around,

I love the idea of a kid so nerdy that she uses the shifted versions of the number keys to give her age. I hope you have something equally cool for when she turns ^.
posted by benito.strauss at 2:53 PM on September 29, 2014 [4 favorites]


A few years back one of my friends and I were joking around about California pizza and the trend of non-traditional toppings, and started down a path joking about how Texans (he was a Texan) wouldn't get cute like this but Midwesterners (I'm a Midwesterner) could turn just about anything into fair/carnival food.

We honed in on the idea of a pizza quesadilla, but kept making the idea more and more complicated until it bordered on ridiculous and awful.

Well, I saved that chat log, and a few weeks later created "The Texas Fat Guy," which was a quesadilla (tortillas, refried beans, cheese) sandwiching a, uh, sandwich of two cheap microwaveable pizzas, with extra bacon, chorizo, jalapeno and tomato.

It was truly terrible. But it was dinner.

(Easter dinner, actually.)
posted by GamblingBlues at 3:06 PM on September 29, 2014 [2 favorites]


a few weeks later created "The Texas Fat Guy,"

And now you're into Epic Meal Time territory except much smaller scale.

For example, Pizza Cheeseburger. Possibly NSFL.

God those guys are gross.
posted by GuyZero at 3:17 PM on September 29, 2014


Probably most people come to metafilter to discuss serious business. I prefer discussions over things so ridiculous I can't help but smile.
posted by Aranquis at 4:17 PM on September 29, 2014 [2 favorites]


I was previously unaware of Epic Meal Time. That's ... that's something alright. Something that should come with it's own rib spreader, I think.

As for the pizza cake, it's a bit too much "stunt food" for me to consider eating it, but maybe a double-decker pizza would be interesting and still edible? I think part of it is that I really want pizza to be a horizontal experience, and a single-serving size piece of pizza cake would be too much layer and not enough horizontal, if that makes sense.

I'm trying to think of a combo of matryoshka calzone that would be appealing and not just ludicrous with too much dough. The matryoshka calzone reminds me of a parody commercial I saw for taco bell that had a taco inside another taco inside a soft taco inside a burrito wrapped in a chalupa etc etc.

The closest I've come to making stunt food myself was making ice cream and raw (eggless) cookie dough gyoza for a dumpling-themed party.
posted by rmd1023 at 5:31 PM on September 29, 2014


Why not make il timpano instead?
posted by vespabelle at 7:04 PM on September 29, 2014 [1 favorite]


They cook each of the layers separately

But only the dough discs. I suspect there's quite a lot of gummy not-quite-melted cheese in the middle of this monstrosity.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 9:16 AM on September 30, 2014 [1 favorite]


SMITH ISLAND PIZZA
posted by duffell at 1:56 PM on October 1, 2014


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