Welcome to BLAH
October 16, 2014 7:49 AM   Subscribe

Virgin Airlines has released a nearly six-hour video showing what's it like to fly from New York to San Francisco with BLAH airlines, which is fictional, gray, boring, and non-Virgin; all in excruciating detail. (Warnings: SLYT, mannequins, Lynchian, Virgin Pepsi Blue)
posted by Baldons (82 comments total) 49 users marked this as a favorite
 
Six hours of reading. Excellent.
posted by eriko at 7:56 AM on October 16, 2014 [7 favorites]


But why?
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:56 AM on October 16, 2014


holy damn!
posted by Greg Nog at 7:58 AM on October 16, 2014


I dunno. I'm a big fan of my flights not being very exciting.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 8:05 AM on October 16, 2014 [25 favorites]


I don't get it -- does Virgin Atlantic not let babies on their planes?
posted by escabeche at 8:05 AM on October 16, 2014 [12 favorites]


Wait, does this mean that tomorrow they're going to release a 12 hour video called YAY showing what Virgin flights are supposed to be like?
posted by parallax at 8:07 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


This is amazing and, for some strange reason I can't explain but I suspect is rooted in my childhood, I want to watch the entire thing.

We should turn this into some sort of viewing event for charity, like they do with Desert Bus.
posted by bondcliff at 8:13 AM on October 16, 2014 [9 favorites]


Great dream sequence starts at around 1:25:00. "You must be hungry, how about a pigeon?"
posted by parallax at 8:14 AM on October 16, 2014 [9 favorites]


Actually, I want to take a cross-country flight on Virgin and watch this on the way.
posted by bondcliff at 8:15 AM on October 16, 2014 [6 favorites]


Heh. it's like Desert Bus.
posted by entropone at 8:16 AM on October 16, 2014 [6 favorites]


Every moment I jumped to in that video was: scripted I was guessing it would all be automated looping), and accurate. The in-flight audio "dictionary channel, page one" ...

This is some brilliant absurdity, like Douglas Adams's game "Starship Titanic."
posted by zippy at 8:17 AM on October 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


This is amazing.
posted by ReeMonster at 8:21 AM on October 16, 2014


For some reason I'm reminded of the old Win 3.1 screensaver Johnny Castaway....
posted by JHarris at 8:23 AM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Apropos of nothing, I've become too used to the use of "blah people" by rightwingers to mean black people that this confused me for a moment.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:27 AM on October 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


They have a website.

I know I've basically been suckered into watching a six hour advertisement, but this is really pretty great. Branson is probably rich enough to get this on during the Superbowl.
posted by bondcliff at 8:32 AM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


The Super Bowl could be its halftime show.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 8:34 AM on October 16, 2014 [20 favorites]


Remove the seats, nice sound system, a few ahem substances, SIX HOUR DANCE PARTY!!!

I should totally run an airline
posted by sammyo at 8:34 AM on October 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


This is Branson's attempt at an ASMR video.
posted by grumpybear69 at 8:39 AM on October 16, 2014 [9 favorites]


This is uncannily familiar.

The crazy thing is that airlines are actually getting rid of their seatback entertainment systems "because tablets" and because they're heavy and cost fuel. This was the one thing that made me feel like I was living in the future like..10 years ago when they came out, and now they're going away again. For stupid reasons.
posted by bleep at 8:41 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I've become too used to the use of "blah people" by rightwingers to mean black people that this confused me for a moment.

This is a thing now?
posted by Atom Eyes at 8:41 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I dunno man, I've been on considerably worse flights.
posted by The Whelk at 8:42 AM on October 16, 2014


Damn it, why don't I do drugs? This would be perfect.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:46 AM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Actually this is an amazing flight. Beginning at about 3:27:20 there is a series of fantastic sights out the left side window:

-an achingly majestic view of the Grand Canyon, reducing the pilot to tears on the PA system
-an unprecedented flock of enormous eagles
-a lost civilization with gleaming gold pyramids larger than any found in ancient Egypt
-a pterodactyl (with an unexpected skin color!) soaring beside the plane at tremendous speed
-some sort of flying disc piloted by an alien who is attempting to make first contact
posted by theory at 8:46 AM on October 16, 2014 [20 favorites]


The crazy thing is that airlines are actually getting rid of their seatback entertainment systems "because tablets" and because they're heavy and cost fuel. This was the one thing that made me feel like I was living in the future like..10 years ago when they came out, and now they're going away again. For stupid reasons.

I dunno -- the last United flight I was on, I was able to watch the movie on my phone, and it totally crushed the old seatback system. And I was kind of impressed, like "oh yeah, I should have thought of that, everybody's gonna have a phone that can watch the movie over the plane's wi-fi so there's no real need to build 200 extra screens into this plane."
posted by escabeche at 8:46 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I used that United movie streaming feature too and it's kind of neat, especially if it's your only option, but craning my neck to look down at a tiny little screen instead of just sitting normally and looking straight ahead wasn't an improvement.
posted by bleep at 8:49 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I've become too used to the use of "blah people" by rightwingers to mean black people that this confused me for a moment.

This is a thing now?


I think this was from 2010? Someone (Santorum?) was about to 'black people' but sorta caught themselves and said 'blah people' instead. Denied it vociferously but it was fairly apparent, in context, what they didn't really avoid saying.
posted by Slackermagee at 8:53 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


"blah people" post on Language Log

/derail

posted by Nonsteroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug at 8:55 AM on October 16, 2014


Another dream sequence at 2:58:24. This one features a friendly talking robot.
posted by theory at 8:58 AM on October 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


It's been awhile since I've been on any flights but part of the main appeal of in-flight entertainment is how they would show limited or new movies not available elsewhere depending on the destination. Is that normal?

For example, I got to watch a lot of subbed foreign movies which didn't have official subs outside for sale. I'd probably just go to sleep now though.
posted by chrono_rabbit at 9:01 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Seriously. Finding some totally new-to-me foreign filmage is an exciting part of flying on proper airlines.

This does kind of remind me of flying United though.
posted by 1adam12 at 9:06 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Meh. I had to take Virgin from NY to LA a couple of times and I don't get the warm fuzzies people seem to be having. It's still an airline, there's still no legroom, it's still a six hour flight. Having pretty cabin lighting or individual screens doesn't make it any less excruciating.
posted by monospace at 9:10 AM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


The crazy thing is that airlines are actually getting rid of their seatback entertainment systems "because tablets" and because they're heavy and cost fuel. This was the one thing that made me feel like I was living in the future like..10 years ago when they came out, and now they're going away again. For stupid reasons.

Ah, man, I flew American just recently on a cross-country flight and I couldn't believe how useless their seatback system was.

Everything was nickel and dime.
The free choices consisted of two 1:30 loops of TV shows interspersed with ads and an (admittedly kinda neat) inflight map.

Everything else was pay-to-play.
Want to watch a movie on your 6 hour flight? $6. A TV show? $8.
They charged for the music channels!
Which has been free for the last 30 years (longer if you kept the airlines special headphones).

Granted, it has been some years since I've flown cross-country, usually I'm on the short hops that don't have entertainment anyway, but I was quite surprised at how blatantly money-grabbing it was.
(Gotta admit though, using the Disney logo rather than the word Disney on the kids package was pretty genius.)
posted by madajb at 9:16 AM on October 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


I believe on JetBlue it's just free though. When I flew from NY to Chicago BBC America was playing a marathon of Orphan Black and I basically got to watch the whole first season and it was great.
posted by bleep at 9:21 AM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


BLAH airlines didn't lose my gate checked bag on a direct flight from LAX -> SFO, so in my book they are superior to Virgin.
posted by sideshow at 9:26 AM on October 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


The seat-back screens are fine, so long as you have the option of either switching them off completely or pulling down a little plastic screen-cover panel. Otherwise, good riddance to them.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:26 AM on October 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


this is amazing
posted by Bookhouse at 9:29 AM on October 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


In flying, boring is a good thing.
posted by octothorpe at 9:38 AM on October 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


Airplanes need fart detectors because people are a little too libertine with their flatulence on the noisy plane.
posted by Invisible Green Time-Lapse Peloton at 9:51 AM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


This video is way more awesome than flying Virgin America actually is.

Flew BOS-SFO with them last year, and neither the TV selections nor the snacks nor anything else was better than JetBlue.
posted by rollbiz at 9:52 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


The crazy thing is that airlines are actually getting rid of their seatback entertainment systems "because tablets" and because they're heavy and cost fuel. This was the one thing that made me feel like I was living in the future like..10 years ago when they came out, and now they're going away again. For stupid reasons.

I work for a company that publishes in-flight magazines. Weight and fuel burn are a huge consideration for airlines; one airline puts the annual fuel cost of carrying in-flight magazines on its fleet at more than a million dollars. When most passengers are carrying their own devices, it's a sound financial (and, for that matter, environmental) decision to eliminate in-flight entertainment systems if they are an underutilized feature.
posted by bassomatic at 9:53 AM on October 16, 2014 [11 favorites]


Airplanes need fart detectors because people are a little too libertine with their flatulence on the noisy plane.

Farts save fuel. It's downward thrust.
posted by eriko at 10:06 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


it's a sound financial (and, for that matter, environmental) decision to eliminate in-flight entertainment systems if they are an underutilized feature.

Here's hoping they keep them on international flights where IME, they are heavily used.
posted by TWinbrook8 at 10:21 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Next time, try the train.
posted by flabdablet at 10:33 AM on October 16, 2014 [6 favorites]


If BLAH is inexpensive an can get its planes where they're supposed to be on time, I'll fly it.

Maybe I'm atypical, but a plane trip is strictly point A to point B now. The airlines have all raced to such a bottom ("three more inches of legroom!") that I no longer can be moved to think of anything more than just getting where I need to be and putting the flight behind me.
posted by Legomancer at 10:35 AM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


You might also prefer going by sea.
posted by theory at 10:50 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


If they had profiled Discount airline instead of Blah airline, it would have been hours and hours of staring at these ads positioned 12 inches from your face. And Creepy Mannequin would have had to provide a credit card for his in-flight beverage.
posted by twoporedomain at 10:59 AM on October 16, 2014


i really like virgin. it's fun to fly, i like the in flight entertainment control which makes flying w/ kids easier, the colors are nice, the safety song is catchy. jet blue is good too. you wouldn't catch me flying SF to NYC on anything other than jetblue or virgin.
posted by jcruelty at 11:20 AM on October 16, 2014


Blimey, this video reminds me of my only* return Virgin flight from Vancouver to London last month, but my flight was 1.5 times longer.

Going out, I was sitting towards the back, with my eye mask and my noise-canceling headphones in the cheap seats, and fortunately I was able to sleep for 6 of these endless hours. I was exhausted: we left 5 hours late, at 1am, instead of the scheduled 8pm. While we were flying, the Virgin ground agents were able to rebook everyone with a connecting flight and greet us at the gate with new boarding passes. The return flight, two weeks ago, left London early in the afternoon and no sleep was had. It was BLAH all the way home.

My one and only* return trip with Virgin leads me to believe that the service is no better than other transatlantic flights in the same class. Sure the drinx are free (and they are not, on Icelandic) but otherwise it's the same seats, same confined environment, same BLAH but in tones of red instead of beige. I had heard so much about the Virgin experience that I decided to fly with them to London, and was non-plussed. Could have flown with Air Canada and gathered more ff points.

*Virgin is no longer flying out of Vancouver as of last week, so that's that.
posted by seawallrunner at 11:23 AM on October 16, 2014


Richard Branson's involvement with Virgin America is limited:
Virgin America, though the brainchild of British entrepreneur Sir Richard Branson, is a U.S. airline. By law, no more than 25% of a U.S. airline may be owned by foreign interests and must be under the "actual control" of U.S. citizens;[6][7] VAI Partners owns 75% of the capital stock; the remaining 25% of the company is owned by Virgin Group,[8] which also licenses the Virgin brand to the airline.

- source
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:24 AM on October 16, 2014


Also, thanks to Wall Street, Virgin America might become far more blah.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:26 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I hope to find some time to watch this whole thing some time soon.

From the standpoint of film history, this is pretty interesting. Effectively, this is an avant-garde film being used as an advertisement, which at first sounds very strange. But it's actually advertisements (as well as music videos, a whole other can o' worms) that are the primary moving-image repositories of the techniques of avant-garde film.

A straightforward example: Filmmakers like Bruce Conner parodied the conventions of mainstream filmmaking by, for instance, making a mockery of the continuity editing system. In such films as the great A Movie, Conner juxtaposed completely unrelated images for the purpose of subverting editing conventions. In a famous example from that film, a shot of a submarine captain looking through a periscope cuts to a shot of a va-va-voom naked lady -- as if we're seeing things from his optical perspective. Conner's point was to show how arbitrary are the conventions that guide us through mainstream narrative films.

Many commercials use EXACTLY that kind of nonsensical juxtaposition, albeit toward the end of getting you to buy their crap. What does Mountain Dew have to do with extreme mountain-biking? Diddly-squat, but the edit from one to the other suggests, by association, a causal connection between these things.

From a very very quick scan through this rather astonishing video, I didn't see any examples of that particular device -- but there are lots of other ways in which avant-garde film techniques have shaped commercials.

The fact that Virgin is now effectively collapsing the two forms - it's an ad as avant-garde film; it's an avant-garde film as an ad - suggest that a circle in the stylistic history of cinema may just have been closed.
posted by Dr. Wu at 11:56 AM on October 16, 2014 [18 favorites]


Oh noes. If Virgin starts charging for, or just having the same baggage rules as other airlines, for musical instruments, I am SCREWED. They make it possible to be a barely-paid classical musician working in more than one regional market.
posted by Dreidl at 11:59 AM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I LOVE IT


Except the part that starts at 2:34:41.


NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE LOUD SMACKING CHEWING NOPE CAN'T
posted by louche mustachio at 12:01 PM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


It lasts until 2:38:37 and it is the worst.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:05 PM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Absolutely love it. Had it running in another browser window while writing an AskMe just now. Starting at 3:56:15 there's a heart wrenching in-flight movie for all you tortured romantics.
posted by theory at 12:24 PM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


amazing.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? at 12:57 PM on October 16, 2014


I flew Virgin IAD-SFO roundtrip a few weeks ago, on what appeared to be a brand-new aircraft with the new seatback entertainment system. It was really nice.

First, they have a controller thingy that comes out of the seat armrest, which works as both a remote but also a SNES-style game controller. It seems like they have plans to allow you to rent games during the flight, although that wasn't implemented yet.

The controller also has a QWERTY keypad, with which you can chat with someone in any other seat on the plane, and there's a group chat channel for the whole plane that anyone can join. Surprisingly fun.

Rather than run regular drinks service where the attendant walks down the aisle and offers everyone a soda, instead you use the seatback console to request food and drinks. (Soft drinks are free.) You put in your order and someone brings it to your seat a few minutes afterwards. This also worked surprisingly well, and I suspect is a bit of a win for Virgin because it tempts you towards the non-free food/drink options and also I think leads to people drinking less free soda overall — if you don't specifically request a soda, you don't get one.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:14 PM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I believe on JetBlue it's just free though. When I flew from NY to Chicago BBC America was playing a marathon of Orphan Black and I basically got to watch the whole first season and it was great.

I've flown United (not exactly known for its innovation or customer friendliness) trans-atlantic 3 or 4 times in the last few years.
Their seatback system is perfectly adequate. Decent selection of movies, TV, audio.
A game system for the kids (though it's touch-screen, so maybe not the best for the people sitting in the seat in front of you). I think it had seat-to-seat, but I don't really remember.
Doesn't have the cool external cameras like Lufthansa, though.

That's why I was surprised at how chintzy the American system was. The flight length is comparable to trans-atlantic and they gave you nothing.
posted by madajb at 2:16 PM on October 16, 2014


This is so good. Demented tip: I've been listening to it on my earbuds in the background while I work. It's strangely effective! It's like white noise with the occasional comedy bit interspersed. I look forward to resuming my flight tomorrow.
posted by bicyclefish at 2:44 PM on October 16, 2014 [7 favorites]


There's a one pixel-sized easter egg link a few minutes in that takes you to a graphic scene of a mile high club initiation in the aft lavatory.
posted by Invisible Green Time-Lapse Peloton at 2:49 PM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Can I...buy this?
posted by oceanjesse at 3:05 PM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


This is unbelievable. Pop art masterpiece.
posted by naju at 4:32 PM on October 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


I want this locally on my computer so I can watch it during a 6 hour flight.

Also, I want the soundtrack. "Love Nest" is my jam. And that weird ringtone-on-LSD drone track around 20 minutes in.
posted by naju at 4:48 PM on October 16, 2014


Hopefully someone will compile a scene-by-scene timeline for this.
posted by grumpybear69 at 4:50 PM on October 16, 2014


The porn scene at 3:43 was unexpected.
posted by clvrmnky at 5:42 PM on October 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Watched it all while I did some work and found it oddly soothing. The mannequins reminded me of Attack on Titan, and Gary Giggles was my favorite bit.
posted by mediated self at 8:16 PM on October 16, 2014


Gonna download this so I can watch it on my computer the next time I'm flying.
posted by ymgve at 4:34 AM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


28 minutes in, and they have a dictionary as an audio book for their in-flight entertainment. This is great.
posted by ymgve at 4:49 AM on October 17, 2014


Six hours from Newark to San Francisco even worse than you imagined.
posted by xtian at 5:21 AM on October 17, 2014


I honestly intend to watch all of this, full screen, with headphones. I suspect I may need to do serious damage to a bottle of whisky at the same time. I am optimistic that an altered state of consciousness will be attainable.
posted by Decani at 5:21 AM on October 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


Normally I can get a pretty good sense of the original link by reading your comments, but this is baffling!

Is the film surreal? Is it comic? Is it realistically tedious? What makes it worth the six hours viewing time?
posted by Omnomnom at 6:35 AM on October 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


One time I was on a Jetblue flight watching a Saturday Night Live rerun and this sketch came on. And my brain exploded.
posted by roll truck roll at 6:51 AM on October 17, 2014 [3 favorites]


Is the film surreal? Is it comic? Is it realistically tedious? What makes it worth the six hours viewing time?

I think it's all three at once.
posted by JHarris at 8:10 AM on October 17, 2014


Is the pigeon segment voiced by Ken Burns and Gwyneth Paltrow?
posted by wenestvedt at 9:16 AM on October 17, 2014


Is the film surreal? Is it comic? Is it realistically tedious? What makes it worth the six hours viewing time?

Yes, yes, yes, and yes. Also cheese. And turkeys. Turkeys can't fly.
posted by naju at 11:27 AM on October 17, 2014


Mr Cavity-brain-fart-head...WAKE UP....WAKE UP....WAKE UP....

This is actually quite terrific stuff.
posted by Decani at 12:57 PM on October 17, 2014 [1 favorite]


i am kind of obsessed w/ this now... watching the whole thing. in flight movie is really funny
posted by jcruelty at 1:31 PM on October 17, 2014 [2 favorites]


this is fantastic. there's a part in there where several people have their fans on and someone says "Should have brought my parka!" and then laughs a little too indulgently for just a little too long. I don't mean to suggest it's a surprise that they have very finely calibrated annoying inputs in a film that's meant to embody the displeasure of air travel, but that I'm pleased and appalled that they have done so so masterfully.
I know that laugh. I hate that laugh.
posted by tiaz at 6:50 PM on October 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


Why yes, I am flying on a six hour flight on Virgin tomorrow! Perfect timing.

I will report back on how it compares to Virgin.
posted by gingerbeer at 3:12 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


This is actually quite terrific stuff.

I just wanted to day uh before we land and part ways that it has actually been an honor sitting next to you and uh a privilege. You've been very generous with your elbow room on the uh on the uh arm rest you've been very conscious of my personal space and uh and you've been a very good listener as well.

This is actually not my first rodeo in San Francisco. Uh. Came here in the uh late 70s... now this was sort of after the... the... the hippie thing in the 60s. I was a little late. I came out here... you know... expecting to be a part of the uh... flower movement and I came out here and I had my long hair and I wanted to be a part of it but it turned out that it was all over by the time I got out here which was a rude awakening... uh... and uh... spent a few years here so I'm no stranger to uh... San Francisco.

I'm actually coming out for a convention of Internet based magicians. Uhh we do magic over the Internet uh via webcam... broadcast worldwide. We have uh uh a meeting once a year ahhh ehhh at uh it's not always in San Francisco... uh the last year it was in Albuquerque... uhh the previous year was in uh it was the previous year... it was it was Oklahoma... the year before that it was in Idaho... ahhh then the year before that it was in Missouruh and ahhh this year somebody said... I said... uhh... I was perhaps I was feeling a little nostalgic... uhh... perhaps I'd been wanting to visit San Francisco for quite a while. I guess. Ahhh and I brought it up at one of our online forums. I said "well why don't we go crazy this year? Why don't we go to San Francisco some place like you know some place different" and I had to fight for it a bit you know, not everybody wants to go so far away from home. Our um membership is largely based in the Midwest. Uhhh the Midwestern states. Uhhhh and... anyway you know so I had to pull a few strings. I had to wiggle some arms. And uhhh but we got everybody here!

And here we go we're on the way and we're gonna meet up and we're gonna discuss all sorts of things. You know. Ethical conundrums of doing illusions and making people believe things that aren't really happening. Uhhh moral conundrums of magic you know. Is cutting somebody in half on stage morally okay? Even if it is just an illusion? Are you sending the wrong signals to the youth of uhh... to the youth? Uhhh... saying "here, you can cut your friends in half" you know. Of course we say things like "don't do this at home. don't try this at home", you know, you know, you never know what somebody will get in their head, you know, so there's a lot of issues involved you know with doing magic and performing illusions. And we're just trying to figure that out and just through... through some discussions and it's... it's a democratic forum so everybody can speak their piece.

We get together in person - mano a mano - once a year to reveal our tricks to each other. Trade you know, literally. You know. We do mostly not card tricks. We do mostly uhh we don't do tricks with animals of any kind. We think that's a bit cruel. We don't do tricks that look dangerous. Uhh we only do tricks that you know are safe for people of all ages. Uh there is uh sort of a magician's code: "do no harm." Sort of like what the doctors say, "do no harm." We also have a motto and our motto is: "there is no magic, only illusion". You gotta be careful using the word "magic". Uh it can be misunderstood sometimes. People think it's, like, fairy tale stuff but uhh... personally I associate the word "magic" with the word "illusion". I like the word "magic" better but it is actually illusion, or sleight of hand, distraction, an art of being... having very nimble fingers... the ability to... uhh... distract people's attention so that you can do something that appears to be magic and uhh... and that is the art of it, really, and I do consider it more of an art than some sort of spiritual practice althought oftentimes intertwined in some sort of spiritual practice. And I say with regards to that, to each their own.

Perhaps there is some magic in the world somewhere. Perhaps there is a miracle of a sort. Auhh... is flight not a miracle? Have we not been doing the world's greatest magic trick for the last six hours? We're flying right now! That is a sort of a miracle in and of itself. Every time we step on an airplane something magical is happening. I mean, imagine if somebody three hundred years ago saw this flying aeroplane uhhh first saw human beings flying... he would say "oh, that is magic up there" and it's not. It is a feat of engineering of course but uh um you know it's quite interesting. I never... I always try and remember that when I get a little bit down. If I get a little bit blue, I try to remember how magical the Universe can be. Really.

And um... strange things happen all the time. Let's be honest. Ahhh... you know... maybe... there is a psychic somewhere and he's reading my mind and ahhh... mostly in relationships I feel like there could be a sort of magic that occurs. You know. You meet somebody and all of a sudden you're feeling funny and you could... you're seeing yourself do things that you didn't know you could do and that is a sort of magic, you know. And there are really coincidences that seem really uncanny and impossible. For instance maybe I'm sitting next to you on this plane and I run into you at some point this week! It would be, what somebody might say, "oh, it was meant to be." And... um... you know... maybe this friendship develops into one of the most important friendships in both of our lives! Maybe we learn a lot from each other. And uh we sh... and we share our lives together. Uhhhh.... you know. Somebody would maybe call that fate. And that is a sort of magic as well. Ahhh... those coincidences that lead to... you know... meaningful experiences or uh your things happening on airplanes uhhh people sitting next to each other and then other things happen.

So who knows? Maybe we were meant to be on this flight together. Flight 101, you know. Uhm... maybe this is where it all starts! and where it all ends! you know. You never know! Every end is a new beginning. Uhhhh at the end of this flight could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship maybe. I'd like to get to know you. You seem like an affable guy. I don't know if you'd be interested in continuing this relationship at some point once we reach our destination... ummmm.... no pressure of course. But ah I'm always looking for fellow travellers uhhh fellow adventurers in this adventure called life and... uh... if you would be interested then... I absolutely would consider you know grabbing something to eat, perhaps seeing a few sights with somebody else. After all I'm travelling by myself. I like travelling by myself. I don't mind doing things by myself. I'm sort of a loner actually but you know, it's... two heads are better than one as they say and um... and sometimes it's it's just nice to share uhh... to share a drink or share some food with somebody who is interested in meeting friends... uhmmm... ahh... fellow company with an affable personality like yourself, discussing the things you've seen... there's a lot of things to see in San Francisco and uh, you know, I think I could offer a lot in terms of um guidance as to places to go and things to do. Uh... foods to eat even.

Although I'm sure a lot's changed since I've been there. It seems to be more tech... centre of the tech world at this point. If you have any free time this weekend, you know, give me a call! Uhhh or you know send me an email. And uhhh... we'll see if we can make it work, you know? Like let's see what happens. Here's my email. I have a cell phone but I only use it for the Internet because I don't believe in phone calls.
posted by flabdablet at 8:33 AM on October 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


I like to think of the third piece of "music" that played on the in-flight radio as the 21st century's version of the Torgo Theme.
posted by JHarris at 9:54 AM on October 20, 2014


3:39:39 has A Virgin airplane.
posted by Yowser at 3:06 AM on October 22, 2014


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