Paper shredders are fascinating
October 18, 2014 11:01 AM   Subscribe

 
Man I want a cat.*

* Probably not the intended reaction.
posted by obfuscation at 11:15 AM on October 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


Well, I TRIED to watch that...
posted by HuronBob at 11:18 AM on October 18, 2014 [19 favorites]


These cats seem extremely helpful and efficient. Is there a problem?
posted by rtha at 11:20 AM on October 18, 2014 [18 favorites]


That very accurately described the last year of my life. Now that I'm back in an office, I miss those little a-holes.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 11:50 AM on October 18, 2014 [4 favorites]


They're probably more productive than a typical office worker anyway
posted by The Whelk at 12:04 PM on October 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


I work in an office with a cat. This video basically sums up my work experience.
posted by daniel_charms at 12:22 PM on October 18, 2014


I'm glad they captured the typing over the cat thing, though they missed the one hand under, one hand over + half-crouch to see the screen variant.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 12:37 PM on October 18, 2014 [7 favorites]


They missed the part where you have to put on a cat YouTube video to get it to leave you alone so you can pee.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:44 PM on October 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


So basically they have figured out a way to be like drunk nudists who get free food and tummy rubs by total strangers at the office?

PLZ CONSIDR MAH APLICASHUN AS UR OFICE KAT
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:45 PM on October 18, 2014 [7 favorites]


I'm used to cats getting in the way and sitting on things, but holy cow THOSE ARE THE NEEDIEST CATS EVER.
posted by bpm140 at 12:53 PM on October 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


So what they're saying is, I need a trashcan and a shredder if I ever want to get anything done around here.
posted by Space Kitty at 1:05 PM on October 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


My favorite part was when he sat on a folding chair instead of kicking the cat off of his chair. I have totally done this, the concept is called let sleeping cats lie so they don't meow obnoxiously for the next hour. Once my cat finally settles down, I LEAVE HIM THERE and I will work around him however I need to.
posted by desjardins at 1:28 PM on October 18, 2014 [22 favorites]


desjardins - we'll sit on the floor to keep him happy in his seat.
posted by nadawi at 1:40 PM on October 18, 2014


I think there is an objective aesthetic value in a sleeping cat that I am loathe to shatter by so gross an act as rousting him so I can sit comfortably.
posted by JHarris at 1:40 PM on October 18, 2014 [11 favorites]


The chair thing is the truest part of the video, but that's because they didn't do the cat rubbing its chin on the laptop screen and closing it.
posted by jeather at 1:45 PM on October 18, 2014 [5 favorites]


I just got my cat to settle down so I could work, and now you do this to me! MetaFilteeeeer!
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:01 PM on October 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


Oh man. We have a six month old ginger tabby female. Why, for the love of God, are they so much more zany?
posted by slkinsey at 2:04 PM on October 18, 2014


jeather, they also didn't show the part where the cat head butts your leg so hard it actually moves the chair
posted by desjardins at 2:05 PM on October 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


I also recommend Maru and Plastic Boxes, wherein Maru reveals his strange, liquid qualities.
posted by Deoridhe at 2:13 PM on October 18, 2014 [11 favorites]


Why, for the love of God, are they so much more zany?

Who? And more zany than...?

It may help to use the SI unit for Zaniness, the SELTZER.
posted by JHarris at 2:14 PM on October 18, 2014 [7 favorites]


wherein Maru reveals his strange, liquid qualities.

I've frequently said, often unprompted, that cats are the only fluids that seek out their own containers.
posted by JHarris at 2:16 PM on October 18, 2014 [33 favorites]


All the while that parasite is slowly eating into your brain.
posted by ReeMonster at 2:25 PM on October 18, 2014


Hah, I just rousted two of the damn things out of my lap so that I could get up to go to the bathroom. I swear, I really couldn't wait any longer. Don't hate me, MetaFilter.
posted by mollweide at 2:29 PM on October 18, 2014 [1 favorite]



Why, for the love of God, are they so much more zany?

Who? And more zany than...?


The gingers I think. And yes, they are more zany.
posted by sweetkid at 2:36 PM on October 18, 2014 [4 favorites]




This picture happened the day I had my camera within arms' reach.


My husband is a software engineer and while he was working on contract he'd work from his parents' home, at the dinner table. Magenta (who is a big black cat, despite the name) would leap up to the next chair over while he'd code, so she became Co-Pilot Cat. Of course, she'd get bored and decide to stretch across the laptop keyboard until shooed away. Sometimes my husband would be IMing me and stop inexplicably until I got the message CAT ON ARMS.

Soon it became shorthand between us to mean to interrupt each other at work via IM: "I'll get on your arms later."
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 2:57 PM on October 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


Black Cats are kind of ...clingy? I think? I think I remember they have less territorial issues with other cats, and the all-black Bombay was bred for companionship. Obviously Your Cat Will Vary but black cats always seemed more human-focused and lap-catty to me
(for the record black cats are needy, ginger cats are zany, tabbybrown/grey are boring, grey/blue cats are bossy, white cats are dumb, calicos are fiendish, tuxedo cats are loyal, and Maine Coons are The Best.)
posted by The Whelk at 3:26 PM on October 18, 2014 [5 favorites]


I have a tuxedo tabby and an orange leopardy guy and they are the best.

In personal cat generalizations, I usually find that males are more friendly and ME SPEND TIME WITH ME-ey.
posted by sweetkid at 3:39 PM on October 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


Marmelade and Cole? I hope they named them backwards for the colors.
posted by aubilenon at 3:45 PM on October 18, 2014


Marmelade is the ginger, and Cole is the black.
posted by Deoridhe at 3:48 PM on October 18, 2014


I think there is an objective aesthetic value in a sleeping cat that I am loathe to shatter

Exactly. If I was EVER that comfortable and relaxed in my life (and I'm pretty relaxed) it would be a crime to boot me out of whatever sleeping space I was in.

In other words, I relax vicariously through our cats.
posted by small_ruminant at 3:58 PM on October 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


All the black cats I've known are super affectionate and tolerant, even of small, mischievous children.
posted by thylacinthine at 4:04 PM on October 18, 2014


My black cat is definitely obsessed with me. He hates or is terrified of all other humans, though.
posted by jeather at 4:08 PM on October 18, 2014


The two friendliest cats I've ever had were/are a brown tabby and a Sealpoint Ragdoll or Himalayan mix (she is cobby with none of the Siamese voice or attitude) - the former was male, the latter is female. My bossiest cat was gray and white. The most playful and curious cat I've had is cream colored. All the torties and calicos I've known or owned have had unique and interesting personalities (aka "tortietude"). My black-and-whites have been all over the map.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 4:12 PM on October 18, 2014


We used to share a house with Julia, otherwise known as CyberCat, who would lodge herself in the crook of my left elbow every single time I was on the computer. She was thoughtful like that, as I am right-handed. She only very occasionally went behind the screen and knocked the cables around, but obviously any loose items not currently in immediate use were fair game for "Knocky Over", her favourite amusement of all when she didn't have my full and undivided attention. Which of course she got when she played KO. She was the fluffiest dark tortie (only 5lb wet through) and grumbled mightily if I ever tried typing.

Now we have Stig (tuxedo, laid back) who thinks the keyboard is his own personal couch and Moomin (grey and white, hyper) who stands in front of the screen dribbling. Happy times.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 4:13 PM on October 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


Man, I like a good cat video. This is real meat and potatoes stuff, you know? You can get fancy, get avant-garde, try pushing the medium, but at the end of the day it's just not the Internet without staples like this. Good homegrown stuff. The Internet's heartland, beating strong.
posted by bicyclefish at 4:16 PM on October 18, 2014 [20 favorites]


tabbybrown/grey are boring

how. very. dare .you. good. sir! captain. tightpants. would. like. a. word.
posted by nadawi at 4:19 PM on October 18, 2014 [21 favorites]


Our cat has the same fascination with the coffee grinder, he jumps up and had to observe it operating. Weird thing is, he hates VACUUM.

I know he's a cat, weird is genetic.
posted by arcticseal at 4:34 PM on October 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


so they don't meow obnoxiously

Is there another way to meow?
posted by sweetkid at 4:40 PM on October 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


tighpants could not care any less about the grinder, but he's so afraid of the vacuum that he's afraid of the closet it's kept it, and before it was kept in the closet he'd scardy-cat-bravely whack it and run away.
posted by nadawi at 4:42 PM on October 18, 2014 [4 favorites]


All the black cats I've known are super affectionate and tolerant

Please come meet our black cat, then. He will rub up against your leg and roll over for belly rubs! And then he will remove your arm.
posted by backseatpilot at 4:54 PM on October 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


My black cat has been far and away our most talkative, affectionate, and bold cat. We've had one awesome stripey one and one feral stripey one, one black cat who ran away, and three grey cats that hated me and hissed and scratched without provocation. Dumbest cat by far was the white one with black splotches. One neighbor had a fat, awesome tuxedo cat, and another neighbor has had one chill, awesome ginger, two neurotic ones, and a very friendly white cat.

In conclusion, kitties contain multitudes.
posted by TwoStride at 4:58 PM on October 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


This is the other way to meow.
Greetings from the office on Sunday morning, because I can no longer work at home because of this jerk. He does the chair steal, the mouse push, the keyboard-is-for-buttz and the 'here let me type that for you.' I can get temporary reprieve by putting out an intray with some decoy paperwork in it.
posted by Trivia Newton John at 4:59 PM on October 18, 2014 [8 favorites]


Amelia knows that I require close supervision at the home office.
posted by metaquarry at 5:00 PM on October 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


Fatty had a talent for ignoring 90 minutes of procrastination, metafilter, news, YouTube whatever, then deciding it was keyboard time may as you opened a file to start work.
posted by biffa at 5:30 PM on October 18, 2014 [2 favorites]




Man I want a cat.

A welcome switcheroo on the whole "Cat, I want a man" thing. Thank you.
posted by argonauta at 6:04 PM on October 18, 2014


Cats, like nature, abhor a vacuum.
posted by uosuaq at 6:19 PM on October 18, 2014 [15 favorites]


I am 100% certain, based on my sample size of 2, that black cats are the best cats. I am also certain that, while my cats are my favorite cats, this cat is THE best cat.
posted by desjardins at 7:02 PM on October 18, 2014 [5 favorites]


>>Why, for the love of God, are they so much more zany?

>Who? And more zany than...?

The gingers I think. And yes, they are more zany.


Yes. Gingers. And the zaniness. Ours is many standard deviations above the norm in zaniness. And I say this as someone who had ferrets for 20 years. Attempting to scrabble up the headboard every night at 3 AM? Check. Getting in the shower with me every morning? Check. Redistributing Mrs. slkinsey's feminine products on a daily basis? Check. Sleeping in the most absurdly uncomfortable positions? Check. Etc.
posted by slkinsey at 7:36 PM on October 18, 2014


My cat's favourite sleeping positions for when I am using the laptop make it very difficult to get anything done. And are the reason why I am currently typing one-handed. I think she has more than the standard brown tabby's share of zany.
posted by lollusc at 8:20 PM on October 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


Thousands of years ago there was the African wildcat, felis sylvestris. Humans had just developed agriculture, and with it came mice to feed on stored grain. The wild cats came to feed on the mice, but had a dilemma: while the mice were yummy, the peoples were scary, so scary that just being near humans was enough to freak out a cat into fleeing.

Over time, the advantage to natural selection of having access to easy rodent nummies overcame the wildcat's fear of humans. That much was simple evolution.

But look what came with it. Scritches and belly rubs. Side-rubbings and purrings. The call of the can opener. Curled up naps on chairs. Early morning meowings. Sunbeam baskings. Pounces and boxes. Frisky kittens. A tail erect, scooting behind a coffee table.

All because two species, long ago, worked out a mutually beneficial working arrangement.
posted by JHarris at 10:47 PM on October 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


Back in the day, cats would sit placidly on top of your warm monitor and leave you alone (except for the staring). It is the evil flat screen and laptop that have led us to this awkward co-habitation of office equipment.
posted by girlhacker at 11:14 PM on October 18, 2014 [9 favorites]


I love these threads because I get to see everyone's crazy cats!
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 12:45 AM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Craziest cat I knew secondhand was my wife's white moggy, who was clever enough to know how to open the freezer, even with the child lock on and mean enough to piss into the computer when he wasn't paid attention to enough, something she only noticed when the pc was switched on and the dried up pee on the hard drive started to stink...
posted by MartinWisse at 2:38 AM on October 19, 2014


I have a brown mackerel who got in over the back fence. I'm still not quite sure how he did it, but he told me he's staying. It's mainly easier just to comply.

He told me that, too.
posted by Wolof at 5:37 AM on October 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


I am also certain that, while my cats are my favorite cats, this cat is THE best cat.

that's not tinycat :(
posted by avocet at 7:13 AM on October 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


this cat is THE best cat.

I think Macklemore wants his coat back.
posted by arcticseal at 7:29 AM on October 19, 2014


avocet, you have a cat named Tiny, too???

My cat trap is not a box, she just mostly likes to chew on those. She has a little cat bed I put on the table when I'm on the laptop. She loves it, because she likes to be near me.

Photo.
posted by Stewriffic at 7:44 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


His name is Fairfax Avenue/Fairfax Tinycat or just Tiny. I remember squeeeing over that thread when I saw it!!

Our other two (sisters) are Pico and Wilshire. Tuxedo cats = best cats
posted by avocet at 7:48 AM on October 19, 2014 [5 favorites]




Man, I always thought tabby grey/brown were the most boring, too, until I got this guy who is, without a doubt, the best cat in the entire world.

That said, mine cause me more problems in the kitchen than the office.
posted by something something at 9:25 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


Black Cats are kind of ...clingy? I think? I think I remember they have less territorial issues with other cats, and the all-black Bombay was bred for companionship. Obviously Your Cat Will Vary but

...there was this cat I knew that terrorised a household of four, purposefully jumped from the second floor once when he was on the balcony and he ended up bossing over a posse of cats in the countryside where he was moved.
posted by ersatz at 9:28 AM on October 19, 2014


This was my kitten interrupting me while I was in grad school. This is the same cat now, when I try to work from home. Nothing ever changes.
posted by desjardins at 10:22 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


omg, avocet, will you ever forgive me? you should bring tinycat here so I can apologize in person.
posted by desjardins at 10:25 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


Apparently I'm some kind of kitty favoriting machine. But cut me some slack, I don't have a cat of my own, although I'd really like to have one again, someday....
posted by JHarris at 11:06 AM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


Cats are work-oriented. Little Pooter likes to help my printer by dragging out the pages instead of making the machine do all the work by itself. When I hit the print icon, he will come to help from any room in the house, usually arriving before the goddam machine has a chance to clear its throat.

Also, he knows, like most cats, how to put himself in the right place (for example, on tops of my keyboard) so that I can more easily adore him. He's so helpful that way, too.
posted by mule98J at 12:10 PM on October 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


tabbybrown/grey are boring, grey/blue cats are bossy

A tabbybrown/grey caused the most excitement in this house, in like ... well, ever, when a brazen and cheeky delinquent stole into our house and, with the help of my totally freaked out dog, managed to: smash several drinking glasses, shred the drapes, destroy a couple of lamps, irrevocably rip up my laptop keyboard, -nearly- topple the TV (so close! it totally teetered), and just generally upend smash lacerate and scatter things hither and yon.

All in about 60 seconds. SO Not Boring. Don't leave your back door cracked if you don't want excruciatingly exciting tabbybrown/grey badness bidness, I tell you.

I do think the grey/blue cats are wonderfully bossy, though, and yearn for one or two. Allergies and husband both disagree, but the dog would actually probably be totally down with it.
posted by taz at 12:39 PM on October 19, 2014


Oh my god I used to have a kitty that helped me work, but she moved out and this video made me miss her so much. I think it is time for a new work helper kitty.
posted by agentofselection at 12:59 PM on October 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


... and here's Lola, helping out.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 3:36 AM on October 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


If you design a peripheral so mouse-like you call it a mouse, you're just asking for trouble, I'm just sayin'...

I recently bought this mostly true-to-life t-shirt.
posted by Zed at 2:21 PM on October 20, 2014


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