The Force Is Strong With This Dad
October 25, 2014 9:45 AM   Subscribe

When a seven-year-old girl wants to be Han Solo for Halloween, what's her father to do? Dress as Princess Leia, of course.
posted by EmpressCallipygos (128 comments total) 45 users marked this as a favorite
 
Now that is how to parent.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:49 AM on October 25, 2014 [7 favorites]


Very cool. They both look great.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 9:49 AM on October 25, 2014


Thankfully, it appears he passed on the metal bikini.
posted by mr vino at 9:50 AM on October 25, 2014 [16 favorites]


(Um, if you have the means to do so and everything, I realized as I hit post that could come off as judgey and invalidating and really wasn't meant to. What I meant was no-question acceptance, screw gender essentialism, and quote "equality goes both ways.")
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 9:50 AM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


"I love you, sweetheart."
"I know."
posted by Horace Rumpole at 9:51 AM on October 25, 2014 [43 favorites]


Epic.

*takes notes*
posted by RolandOfEld at 9:52 AM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


Love the hood he rigged as Leia's cinnamon-bun-hair-things. So great.
posted by rtha at 9:52 AM on October 25, 2014


They are both adorable and I would give her handfuls of candy if she showed at my door. She's got the Han Solo swagger down pat.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 9:53 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Father and daughter dressing as lovers? Yes that's not creepy, though clearly the guy's spirit seems to be in the right place.

Chewbbacca would have been a better sidekick.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 9:59 AM on October 25, 2014 [26 favorites]


Awww! That made me so happy to see. That kid's an awesome Han Solo!
posted by harujion at 9:59 AM on October 25, 2014


Uhhhhhh... He does realize the deeper implications of his costume right? It's kind of making me not not uncomfortable.
posted by Talez at 10:00 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


The world would not be made richer by his trying to explain those implications to a 7 year old.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 10:05 AM on October 25, 2014 [65 favorites]


Nonsense, settings boundaries and approach relationships always makes the world richer.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:09 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


The world would not be made richer by his trying to explain those implications to a 7 year old.

"Daddy why can't you be Leia?"
"Because Leia and Han get married and daddies and daughters can't get married!"
"Why not?"
"Because daughters are going to meet a lot of people and they might want to make their own family with one of them one day"
posted by Talez at 10:09 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Somewhere I have a photo from the 1960s of my parents at a Halloween party with my dad dressed in my mom's nursing uniform.
posted by interplanetjanet at 10:10 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Father and daughter dressing as lovers?

I must have forgotten the famous Han/Leia sex scene. All I seem to recall is "I love you."/"I know."
posted by Sys Rq at 10:11 AM on October 25, 2014 [13 favorites]


This thread has gone from "ooh awesome thing" to "complain about creepiness that doesn't actually really exist" in record time.

(This dad is AWESOME)
posted by rorgy at 10:12 AM on October 25, 2014 [102 favorites]


Father and daughter dressing as lovers?

It was the daughter's choice. And the kissy stuff between Han and Leia didn't happen in the first movie, did it?
posted by Johnny Wallflower at 10:14 AM on October 25, 2014


Chewbbacca would have been a better sidekick.

Due to the uncanny resemblance, I would also have gone with Chewie.
posted by mikelieman at 10:17 AM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


You're correct, the kissing didn't occur until the second movie, while in the third they were clearly in a relationship. If ya'll think all they did was smile and tell each other to clean their room and stop making fart jokes at the dinner table, you're probably mistaken.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:19 AM on October 25, 2014


Honestly, I wonder if part of the idea on her part isn't to see if dressing cross gender is good for both genders; clearly, the idea she could dress up as a boy was dubious to her at first blush.

Usually, women are encouraged to emulate men because men are better, while men are not encouraged to emulate women because women are not as good; the father dressing as Leia is evidence to his daughter that the benefits to emulating interesting characters exists regardless of the gender of the person or the gender of the character.
posted by Deoridhe at 10:21 AM on October 25, 2014 [82 favorites]


I think it's worth asking how much of any "that's creepy" reaction is a product both of our society's sexualisation of women and its transphobia. The idea that dressing as a female character could primarily be about the character, rather than her gender, is still not the default.

I appreciate that Han and Leia are lovers in the story, but if the daughter had wanted to dress up as Leia, and the father had cooperated by going as Han, I don't think the reaction would be the same. I think that's at least partly because we are dealing with societal assumptions that there must be something erotic in the decision to dress as a woman.
posted by howfar at 10:33 AM on October 25, 2014 [9 favorites]


I think that's a bit of a reach. It's not unreasonable to look at context around the fact that it's a father and daughter cosplaying lovers, but at the end of the day: she's seven years old. She wants to be Han Solo! So she's Han Solo. She wanted her dad to dress up with her, and at her request he's Leia. Sure, he could have demurred and suggested Chewie instead--but wouldn't that be buying into "It's okay for girls to dress as boys but not for boys to dress as girls"?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:38 AM on October 25, 2014 [30 favorites]


I appreciate that Han and Leia are lovers in the story, but if the daughter had wanted to dress up as Leia, and the father had cooperated by going as Han, I don't think the reaction would be the same.

You're right, it would be viewed even more negatively.

It's great that the Dad is trying to show anyone could admire someone, regardless of gender. No doubt the kid isn't seeing the character's relationship in its full light, but that's what the parent is supposed to do.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 10:39 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


What I mean is I think he's taught her a valuable lesson about gender roles, and can teach her another valuable lesson when it is age-appropriate about context.
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:40 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


If she decided she wanted to go as Santa, and he went as Mrs. Claus, are we having the same discussion?
posted by oflinkey at 10:42 AM on October 25, 2014 [12 favorites]


She's only seen the first movie. You want dad to reveal spoilers?!

In all seriousness, way to take the worst possible meaning out of a genuinely valuable gender roles lesson. FOR A SEVEN YEAR OLD.
posted by cooker girl at 10:43 AM on October 25, 2014 [60 favorites]


I'm kind of disappointed that this being seen as creepy. I think it's worthwhile to ask if that reaction is due to a realistic concern about children's wellbeing, or whether this is a result of too much focus on the sexual implications of everything.

Being lovers is not the most important thing about these two characters; it's not as though they're cosplaying Romeo and Juliet. Han and Leia are two iconic, badass space fighters. If the daughter wanted to be Han Solo, and the father wanted to show that there's nothing wrong with a man dressing as a female character either, Leia is the natural choice.

I think it's really weird to say that they're cosplaying as being lovers when there's nothing to suggest that this is even in the family's minds at all. And it is apparently not in the forefront of many others' minds either. This is something only some people are bringing to the table.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 10:46 AM on October 25, 2014 [30 favorites]


You're right, it would be viewed even more negatively.

Right. That must be why people are so up in arms whenever that happens at EVERY HALLOWEEN OR CONVENTION EVER.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:46 AM on October 25, 2014 [5 favorites]


Has anyone seen my plate of beans? I think they're in this thread somewhere.
posted by odinsdream at 10:47 AM on October 25, 2014 [13 favorites]


The relationship may not be apparent to the kid. Just as dressing up doesn't change biological gender or make you transgendered doesn't mean the family is going to engage in wierd relationship stuff. This is empowering for the daughter and that's all that matters.
posted by AlexiaSky at 10:48 AM on October 25, 2014 [17 favorites]


If I ever have a daughter who wants to dress up as Han Solo, I'll feel like I've already won at parenting. This though, this takes the biscuit.
posted by Ned G at 10:49 AM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]




I'm kind of disappointed that this being seen as creepy.

Me too. Dad basically has a rule to grant his daughter's wish every Halloween. She made a wish, he stuck to it despite our society's huge backlash against male-to-female crossdressing, and a valuable lesson about gender equality was had by both parties.

He did a good job for his child.

Upon preview:
This is empowering for the daughter and that's all that matters.

Would that I had more favorites to give.
posted by mordax at 10:49 AM on October 25, 2014 [19 favorites]


And can we stop with the 'but is it creepy' question, because the answer's no. It's a kid and her dad dressing up, there's no need to see it as anything else (and if the questions have come up because of the cross-dressing element, then that just makes it worse).
posted by Ned G at 10:51 AM on October 25, 2014 [10 favorites]


and the father wanted to show that there's nothing wrong with a man dressing as a female character either, Leia is the natural choice.

She's the only choice. The only other woman with a speaking role (and possibly without, but I'm not wading through all of IMDB to confirm my memory) in the first film dies before the first act is done.
posted by rtha at 10:51 AM on October 25, 2014 [16 favorites]


There is only one female character in the first star wars film. If his daughter wants him to dress up as a girl character because she is dressing up as a boy character, who can he dress up as? Maybe when she has seen the other films he can dress up as Oola (far dodgier choice IMO), but for the time being it is Leia or nothing.

Of course this is a good reason for film-makers to have more than one fucking female character in their trilogies, but don't blame this guy for George Lucas' limited scriptwriting skills.

And on preview, what rtha said.
posted by tinkletown at 10:54 AM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


I think the faux creepy crap is because it seems there are more and more people who spend their time vetting any situation to find out if there is anything-the slightest thing- that they can get offended over. It's like the Where's Waldo of touchy alarmist sensibilities. Perhaps I am sensitive since I was once the 'Torture Nurse' assisting my oldest daughter's 'Torture Doctor' costume. So hard to remove pantyhose soaked in red karo syrup. Ah...memories.
posted by umberto at 10:57 AM on October 25, 2014 [12 favorites]


I'm a dude. My daughter and I have done costumes together since her first Halloween:

2011: Zombie (me) and snack (her, in a baby carrier)
2012: A Knight who says Ni (her on my shoulders)
2013: Finn (her) and Jake (me)
This Friday: fairies (identical costumes, both with pink wands and wings and crowns and tule skirts)

I'll keep doing it as long as she'll put up with me, and I'll (clearly) wear whatever it takes to make that happen. Honestly, I didn't think she'd want to keep doing costumes with her dad even this long.
posted by gurple at 10:57 AM on October 25, 2014 [47 favorites]


I think it's possible to both think this is awesome (which it is) and be slightly amused at the relationship implications that the daughter doesn't know about yet. But I'm also from the side of fandom where shipping can be super important.

This can go the other way too, i.e. mapping real life relationships to fiction: my wife and I dressed up as Simon and Mal one year for Halloween and you can bet we were playing up the Mal/Simon shippiness of it all.
posted by kmz at 10:59 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


I think it's worth asking how much of any "that's creepy" reaction is a product both of our society's sexualisation of women and its transphobia. The idea that dressing as a female character could primarily be about the character, rather than her gender, is still not the default.

For Christ's sake.

Maybe this is an overall good thing that the dad did, but it also has some slightly weird subtext that he didn't take into account. And maybe it would be nice if we could simultaneously admire the dad while slightly cringe-laughing at the subtext without being accused of transphobia.
posted by graphnerd at 11:00 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


I think that's a bit of a reach. It's not unreasonable to look at context around the fact that it's a father and daughter cosplaying lovers, but at the end of the day: she's seven years old. She wants to be Han Solo! So she's Han Solo.

Yes. I agree. I'm not justifying an "it's creepy" response, I'm criticising it.

I think it's reasonable to talk about why misogyny and transphobia might cause people to question this, when misogyny and transphobia are what this father is combatting. The reason that this is an FPP is because of our society's fucked up attitude towards gender. If we lived in a healthy society we wouldn't be talking about this dad in the first place.
posted by howfar at 11:01 AM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


Yes, that's the point. She doesn't know. Her knowledge is based on (it seems from the article) the first movie only. In that context, Han is just a wisecracking badass, and Leia is his sidekick. (Or vice versa or both, if you prefer).

Point being, what she knows of the relationship is just that they are friends who make a pairing. Pretty much everything else will be irrelevant to a seven year old anyway. Had she seen the other movies (dad only mentions Star Wars in the article), maybe there would be a discussion to be had there. Certainly they can have that discussion in the future.

But for now, here's what she knows: Han and Leia are asskicking buddies. She and her dad are going out as asskicking buddies. Her dad has shown her that anyone can dress up as anyone. These are all good things.

2011: Zombie (me) and snack (her, in a baby carrier)

this is so fantastic I can't even
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:01 AM on October 25, 2014 [15 favorites]


Perhaps I am sensitive since I was once the 'Torture Nurse' assisting my oldest daughter's 'Torture Doctor' costume.

Were Torture Nurse and Torture Doctor almost certainly sleeping together in the Torture Hospital expanded universe?

There's nothing creepy about a father taking her daughter out at Halloween. There's nothing creepy about matching theme costumes. Nothing creepy about a dude dressing up as a female with his daughter around. However when matching theme costumes insinuate incest one does raise an eyebrow as one does when something odd sticks out like a sore thumb.
posted by Talez at 11:02 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


2011: Zombie (me) and snack (her, in a baby carrier)

this is so fantastic I can't even


Yep, it was pretty awesome.

We got a lot of stares. Especially because I was doing a zombie walk all around the neighborhood and I kept stopping to eat her brains.
posted by gurple at 11:05 AM on October 25, 2014 [62 favorites]


without being accused of transphobia.

We live in a transphobic society. I'm transphobic and doing my best to stop. Prejudice isn't something that the bad people do, it's something we all participate in. My comment is clearly framed in that way.
posted by howfar at 11:07 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Yeah, it's not like Leia made out with her own brother or anything.


Wait, why the hell are we arguing about this?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:07 AM on October 25, 2014 [34 favorites]


well to be fair who doesn't want to eat babies' brains what with that newborn head smell
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:08 AM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


I think it's just playful dressing up. It's explicitly a funny exception to normality, so it doesn't actually teach anything (any more than, say, traditional pantomime) or have any significance beyond raising a smile.
posted by Segundus at 11:08 AM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


We got a lot of stares. Especially because I was doing a zombie walk all around the neighborhood and I kept stopping to eat her brains.

Ha, this is pretty hilarious.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:10 AM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


Gurple, I think you were pretty seriously damaging your daughter sending a message that a girl doesn't need brains - that make up and costuming are more important.

(Where the brains tasty? Like raspberry jam tasty? If so, you may have given your daughter an unhealthy relationship to food.)

Also, is "gurple" onamonapia for eating brains?
posted by Lesser Shrew at 11:10 AM on October 25, 2014 [9 favorites]


well to be fair who doesn't want to eat babies' brains what with that newborn head smell

This reminds me, I have to make sure I catch tonight's The Walking Dead Halloween Spook-tacular.
posted by mikelieman at 11:19 AM on October 25, 2014


Jesus Christ, people, this isn't in any way, shape or form creepy. It's just a father and daughter with matching Star Wars costumes.The entire 'but they're in a relationship!' thing didn't even enter my mind until someone brought it up. Just get over it.

Now if a father and daughter do gender-swapped Jamie and Cersei Lannister costumes, on the other hand, that might be a cause for alarm...
posted by Green Winnebago at 11:26 AM on October 25, 2014 [9 favorites]


Leia as a character is defined by far more than her relationship to Han, which is a part of what makes her awesome.
posted by rorgy at 11:30 AM on October 25, 2014 [9 favorites]


Out of all the Metafilter arguments in the world, this is the Metafilterest.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 11:36 AM on October 25, 2014 [73 favorites]


I find the repeated insistence that this is creepy and the dad should have parented differently creepier than the costumes. Which are fantastic.
posted by chris24 at 11:36 AM on October 25, 2014 [18 favorites]


Way to brush troublesome implications away in favor of a gender role lesson. FOR A SEVEN YEAR OLD WHO DOESN'T KNOW THE MAIN RELATIONSHIP OF THE CHARACTERS.

Exactly. She doesn't know that eventually they're gonna end up sharing cooties. All she knows is that Han is supercool and she wants to be someone supercool for Halloween and wants her dad to dress up with her. Let's face it, Luke's kinda blah in the first movie (whiny, much) and maybe she wanted dad to be a human (oh noes! Speciesism!) and probably a good guy (so no Dark Side characters) so that pretty much leaves Leia. And, remember please, that she does not know that Han and Leia end up doing Grownup Things with each other.

Had dad brought up the Grownup Things I think it would have been inappropriate to say the least. "Um, honey? I can't be Leia because in the second movie, the one you haven't seen yet, Han and Leia kiss and they have Special Feelings for each other and strangers on the internet will be uncomfortable with our costumes."

I mean, really. I guess it's true that someone, somewhere will always see the bad side of a situation. Glad it's not me.
posted by cooker girl at 11:40 AM on October 25, 2014 [10 favorites]


And the kissy stuff between Han and Leia didn't happen in the first movie, did it?

"You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
posted by The Tensor at 11:41 AM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


On preview, I was about to say precisely what chris24 already has. This is certainly not creepy. My 6 year old daughter is still a little too scared of things like Star Wars, but, if ever asked, I would proudly don the Leia buns.
posted by firemouth at 11:43 AM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Huh. My family is going to be the Scooby Doo gang for Halloween, and it never remotely occurred to me that someone would find it creepy that I'm Fred and one of my daughters is Daphne, even though they are romantically attached. For that matter, my son and another daughter are Shaggy and Velma, so I guess we are all dressing as incest this year.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 11:46 AM on October 25, 2014 [40 favorites]


Wait, Fred and Daphne were dating?!
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 11:50 AM on October 25, 2014 [5 favorites]


The Aristocrats?
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 11:50 AM on October 25, 2014 [5 favorites]


That is just ADORABLE.

Yeah, after my initial "awwwww" reaction, I'll cop to flashing on Michael and Maeby Bluth singing "Afternoon Delight"... But that's really mostly a pervy/cynical adult view of it, and has nothing to do with what it must have meant for the kid.

So fuck it. It's funny as hell and super cool. Bravo, Dad! Bravo!
posted by mondo dentro at 12:01 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


However when matching theme costumes insinuate incest one does raise an eyebrow as one does when something odd sticks out like a sore thumb.

The use of the pronoun "one" makes it seem as though you think this is some sort of universal, natural response that right-thinking people have--but as I noted in my previous comment, this isn't universal. You're raising your eyebrow, but you're in the minority; a focus on that aspect is something that you're bringing to the table.

I'm disappointedly reminded of that thread about Sia's Chandelier video that turned into a discussion about whether or not it was pedophiliac, with some (mostly male) commenters sure that the drab, neutral way was dressed was sexually inappropriate.

Girl children's actions are too frequently interpreted through a sexual lens. Even when it's in the name of "protecting" them, this preoccupation contributes to an environment that is not psychologically healthy for them. There is such a thing as going too far. When innocently dressing up as asskicking buddies with your dad becomes a minefield because some people will tut-tut over the fact that one of the minor side stories is that the characters become lovers, we've gone too far.

Let them have their awesome, girl-empowering, boy-empowering, everyone-empowering fun and keep the weird sexual focus out of it, please.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 12:01 PM on October 25, 2014 [33 favorites]


There is only one female character in the first star wars film.

Actually, in the first three Star Wars films, unless you count Rebel Leader lady Mon Mothma.
posted by JHarris at 12:08 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Luke's Aunt Beru (SW), Jabba's first slave Oola (ROTJ). Neither were speaking roles, because both died almost as soon as they popped up. If I'm scraping the barrel, I think one of the Ewoks was meant to be female.
posted by tinkletown at 12:15 PM on October 25, 2014


Beru had lines.

Wait, Fred and Daphne were dating?!

In Mystery Incorporated, which is excellent, yeah. Also Velma and Scooby compete for Shaggy's heart.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 12:18 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Poor Aunt Beru. So lonely and forgotten.
posted by hippybear at 12:21 PM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


Even for Metafilter -which to me is the ne plus ultra of people being offended over stuff that 99% of the rest of humanity wouldn't think twice about- this is a new low in thin-skinnedness. I'm amazed, seriously amazed. It's like how you actually have trouble believing there are really serial killers, except the opposite. Just...Jesus. Cute as hell rendered creepy by tons of over-the-top misguided self-righteousness. This site gives me the creeps sometimes. Do any of you easily creeped out types realize what a small percentage of real-life thinking individuals you really are? You ruin everything.
posted by umberto at 12:22 PM on October 25, 2014 [32 favorites]


Creepy thinking is creepy.
posted by parki at 12:27 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Look, everyone who's getting their culottes in a clove hitch over this: could you please just dress as a plate of beans this 'ween? You can even have arguments with each other as to whether the beans should be life-sized or proportionally larger to go with the size of the plate (and further get into what the size of an "average" plate is, and how the beans should be sauced).

FFS, fanboys.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:28 PM on October 25, 2014


Plus, of course, the right to 'ship a non-canon couple also implies the right to deny in-canon relationships. Also, Han never shot Greedo at all; he's a stealth Jedi who used the mind trick to fool Greedo into thinking he was shot and gave him a heart attack.
posted by Halloween Jack at 12:32 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


Poor Aunt Beru. So lonely and forgotten.

Her haircut. Same problem as Caillou's Mom.
posted by mikelieman at 12:47 PM on October 25, 2014


Man, I was wondering why this got 74 comments so quickly.

Those of you who insist this is creepy - a week before the daughter asked to be Han Solo, she was gonna be Hemione Granger. Would you all have also been creeped out if Dad were Ron Weasley? Something tells me no.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:04 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


Honi soit qui mal y pense
posted by Area Man at 1:06 PM on October 25, 2014 [8 favorites]


Do any of you easily creeped out types realize what a small percentage of real-life thinking individuals you really are? You ruin everything.

Jeez, this seems a bit over the top for a few people calmly expressing their opinion that father and daughter dressing as characters in a romantic relationship is a little weird.
posted by dialetheia at 1:08 PM on October 25, 2014 [5 favorites]


isn't Leia like an incredibly strong woman who was trying to free her people from oppression and saw her entire homeworld destroyed along with most of the people she knew and loved (who weren't actually on the planet when it happened) and STILL went on fighting to free everyone from oppression?

Slave Leia was a travesty BECAUSE she was such a strong woman and was relegated to being a plaything.

I think this dad choosing to be the Leia that Leia chose to be (as opposed to dressing up like slave leia) is awesome for his daughter. He is not dressed up as Leia, that chick that is in love with Han Solo. He's dressed up as Leia, freedom fighter who takes no bullshit and has some goshdarn good friends who she learns to trust and help her out when things are hard and celebrate with her when things are good.

What's creepy about that? I'm confused.
posted by sio42 at 1:17 PM on October 25, 2014 [14 favorites]


Those of you who insist this is creepy - a week before the daughter asked to be Han Solo, she was gonna be Hemione Granger. Would you all have also been creeped out if Dad were Ron Weasley?

Yes, of course, as it's a similar situation, a parent and child dressing up as characters who eventually have a romantic relationship. That's just inappropriate, in my opinion.

Obviously, others feel differently or are viewing this strictly through the gender lenses (the latter I have no problem with). But again, in my eyes, this is no no, even though the child isn't aware of how the relationship will develop and has only seen the first (why she didn't suggest Chewbacca is beyond me, but kids...). Ideally, the parent would have gently nudged the kid to choose something else, but he didn't and proceeded to be as awesome as he could be, which is great, kudos. But as the adult who is certainly aware how close Han and Leia become, the decision to go along with this causes me to double take. YMMV.

That said, it happened, the kid got be her hero and learn a couple of gender lessons so hopefully everything continues to remain fine, even after she watches Empire Strikes Back. Kids being kids, she just might decide that aspect of the character's relationship doesn't exist, heh.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:27 PM on October 25, 2014


You know what I'd find creepy? A father who said to a daughter who wanted him to dress up with her as two married or otherwise sexually involved characters and replied "no" because it gave him uncomfortable thoughts about his relationship with his daughter. Has any in the history of ever thought it was "creepy" for a father an daughter to play at being, say, "King and Queen" or to play "Mummy and Daddy" at a tea party or what have you?
posted by yoink at 1:28 PM on October 25, 2014 [16 favorites]


Just for the record, here are creepiness ratings for the following:


-Daughter as Han, Dad as Episode IV Leia: not creepy

-Dad as Han, Daughter as Episode IV Leia: not creepy

-Daughter as Luke, Dad as Leia: not creepy

-Dad as Luke, Daughter as Leia: still not creepy

-Dad as Darth Vader, Daughter as Luke/Leia/Han/Chewie: not creepy

-Daughter as Vader, Dad as anything: awesome

-Daughter as Han, Dad as Slave Leia: maaaaybe creepy, probably hilarious

-Parent as Jabba/Bib Fortuna/Gamorrean, Baby as Salacious B. Crumb: awesome

-Parent as dead tauntaun, Baby as hypothermic Luke: awesome

-Dad as Han, Daughter as Slave Leia: OK, creepy

-Dad as Jabba, Daughter as Slave Leia: definitely creepy

-Father-Daughter "purity balls": still super creepy
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:35 PM on October 25, 2014 [43 favorites]


Has any in the history of ever thought it was "creepy" for a father an daughter to play at being, say, "King and Queen" or to play "Mummy and Daddy" at a tea party or what have you?

Pretty sure several people in the history of ever have thought that. But the point you raise is an interesting one. I'd say the difference is emulating vague abstractions as opposed to specific characters.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 1:41 PM on October 25, 2014


the right to 'ship a non-canon couple also implies the right to deny in-canon relationships

Is this sentence English?
posted by Mars Saxman at 1:47 PM on October 25, 2014


Obviously, others feel differently or are viewing this strictly through the gender lenses

Huh, I was just viewing it through the Halloween costume lens.
posted by Beardman at 1:48 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


I was viewing it from the viewpoint OF A SEVEN YEAR OLD.
posted by parki at 1:55 PM on October 25, 2014 [11 favorites]


No dear, daddy’s not dressing up as Robin Hood from Disney. Well because you are Maid Marion. Great question. Let's start with some definitions first: you see some people just feel like they are an animal inside, rather than a person, and
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:56 PM on October 25, 2014 [11 favorites]


I'm still pretty agog at the suggestion that Han and Leia were "lovers."

You see, Brandon, when two people love each other very much, they share a special hug...
posted by Sys Rq at 1:58 PM on October 25, 2014


The dad should appreciate this now, before she gets older and insists on attending conventions dressed as slave Leia, or "sexy" Boba Fett, etc...
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 1:59 PM on October 25, 2014


"Uhhh how about I just go as Darth Vader, it makes way more because because he's her dad. And Lukes dad too. Yeah you find out before he dies saving Luke. Yeah Bruce Willis is a ghost too. Heh. Now eat your peas."
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:00 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


FINE

NEXT YEAR WE WILL GO AS HITLER AND EVA BRAUN

WAIT

GODDAMNIT
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:06 PM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


I was a Leia one year, my Dad was Darth Vader, and my blonde twin brother was...an imperial royal guard. Honestly the whole "torturing this senator, destroying the entire planet and her foster family, and hunting down all of her friends" thing is way worse, to me, even before the revelation that Leia is his daughter.

Also, Chewy is kind of lame and a much more expensive costume, just saying.

The best Leia costume I've ever seen was a male college student with cranberry bagel halves for hair, accompanied by a lady Boba Fett whose costume was 90% cereal boxes. They got handfuls of candy from us, because it was great.
posted by jetlagaddict at 2:15 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Star Wars is great for kids because who doesn't wish that your space wizard real Dad wouldn't come along, kill your boring family, destroy your planet, and make you fight him with a lazer sword?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 2:24 PM on October 25, 2014 [7 favorites]


Also, Chewy is kind of lame

Hey.

Chewie's awesome because despite everything remembering him as a "badass," he has his own fears (like sludge monsters). And he's intellectual enough to enjoy a game of space chess, even if he's not very good. And he has a conscience that made him convince Han to finally help the rebels.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 2:32 PM on October 25, 2014 [9 favorites]


I am inclined to think the people who look at the picture of dad and daughter in costume and think "ick sexual connotation"
are the same people who don't want dads changing their daughter's diapers because "ick sexual connotation."

Because seriously, I read the article, saw the picture and thought "aw, cute." The other thought did not cross my mind at all until I read the comments.

Never. Read. The. Comments.
posted by M Edward at 2:36 PM on October 25, 2014 [10 favorites]


It's hard to control what creeps you out. I get that.

I think when you take one of your emotions and start to argue in favor of it, though, you gotta start thinking about where the emotion comes from and whether there's a logical basis for it.

Does anyone who's creeped out by this think that the girl is going to come to some sort of harm because of it? Do you think that it points strongly to something nefarious going on in the family?

I'm a parent, and like any parent I've been judged by bystanders for all kinds of stuff. Sometimes, the bystanders have had a point, like when I biked my kid home five blocks without a helmet on her, because I forgot it. That day (which was yesterday), I agreed with the bystanders who judged me. Bad dad.

I'm not seeing the harm here.
posted by gurple at 2:42 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Remember that the two central figures present during both the resistance to the Palpatine coup, and the War of Two Death Stars, were a droid named R2D2, and a Wookiee named Chewbacca. The fact that neither could speak GBS is why they are not better recognized in the histories of those periods.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:45 PM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


Jeez, this seems a bit over the top for a few people calmly expressing their opinion that father and daughter dressing as characters in a romantic relationship is a little weird.

The word creepy rarely intrudes on calm discussions. I seriously wonder: the only creepiness has come from the people questioning this. The perverts are in your head. Address that. This is why people offended by stuff is the least reliable marker of anything in the world. I remember one of the best costumes at my church parade a decade ago was Prince Charming riding an adorable little Sleeping Beauty into the church dinner on his (fake, costume) horse. It was great, there was applause. NOT ONE PERSON suggested Dad was some sick incestuous rapist because the Prince and Sleeping Beauty had some future relationship a 6-year-old couldn't understand. It was her Dad. He was her Prince. I was jealous I hadn't thought of it. It's ten years later and they are both great people. The costume was kind of like this: (hint: I am using a BBT link because I feel the same kind of easily offended idiots who hate BBT are the same ones objecting to this). Offense is the least viable currency in the world: even for someone like me, who is not at all religious, and has worked in comedy all their lives, and just seeks community. A community is not made of judgmental a**holes.
posted by umberto at 2:56 PM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


Parent as dead tauntaun, Baby as hypothermic Luke: awesome

Ok, that would be pretty amazing.
posted by tinkletown at 3:26 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


The word creepy rarely intrudes on calm discussions. I seriously wonder: the only creepiness has come from the people questioning this. The perverts are in your head. Address that. ... NOT ONE PERSON suggested Dad was some sick incestuous rapist because the Prince and Sleeping Beauty had some future relationship ... easily offended idiots ... judgmental a**holes.

I don't care one way or the other about the costume, but I think it's interesting that you're accusing others of being judgmental as you call them easily offended idiots, creepy, perverted, and assholes. Nobody has accused anyone of being "sick incestuous rapists" and I'm not sure why you feel the need to escalate things like this. Nobody called the dad himself creepy or implied that his choice said anything about him as a person, just that the situation has creepy overtones. Reasonable people can disagree without making personal accusations. It is not a personal accusation to say that a situation makes you kind of uncomfortable.

Everyone is free to make whatever decisions they want about these things. I mean, I'd never let a kid dress up as Sleeping Beauty with her father Prince Charming, but people have the right to do it, just as I have the right to think that's kind of weird, and I think it's possible to talk about these things without hurling personal accusations at each other.
posted by dialetheia at 3:32 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Parent as dead tauntaun, Baby as hypothermic Luke: awesome

Ok, that would be pretty amazing


The closest thing I've seen on this level is kid as Boba Fett, and parent as Han in Carbonite. Or parent as Luke in Jedi training, and baby on back as Yoda. But there's a good chance that if you think it up, it's actually been done.

Also, they make taun taun sleeping bags.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 3:43 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Poor Aunt Beru. So lonely and forgotten.

Beru would have been a much better choice. The Emperor, Lord Vader and Princess Leia are all just different faces of the galactic aristocracy. Just because Leia Organa's faction was propped up by a secretive warrior priesthood doesn't mean that she wasn't living a lifestyle on the backs of the galactic peasantry. Why can't dad use Halloween as an opportunity to dress as a moisture farmer and model working for a living?
posted by Madame Defarge at 3:58 PM on October 25, 2014 [10 favorites]


Madame Defarge, I thought you were saying that Aunt Beru, moisture farmer and model, was now working for a living. After her modeling and farming careers ended.
posted by artychoke at 4:24 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


Chewbbacca would have been a better sidekick

That walking carpet? Hardly.
posted by trip and a half at 4:39 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Good thing she didn't want to dress up like Conan the Barbarian.

I'm more eye-rolling than creeped out, in large part because the guy felt compelled to write this whole Look At Me piece on the internet. That and the fact that when I was coming up (admittedly while the Beatles were still together) it would never have occurred to any self-respecting parent to dress up as a character for their child's trick or treating. Nor, really, would any self-respecting child have wanted them to. Trick and treating was for kids, damn it. Adults are supposed to be boring and dignified and make with the candy.

Of course, we also didn't require adult supervision because in those days the only threat to suburban children was the crazy person who put razor blades in apples.
posted by IndigoJones at 4:40 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


Good on Dad for dressing up. I hardly saw any Dads at all dressed up at the neighborhood parade this afternoon. Hardly any Moms, either. Most of them were in regular clothes, not even a funny hat or anything (like us- I was in my turkey hat and Stynxno was wearing a large foam mohawk). Come on, parents, where's your sense of fun?
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:52 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Chewbbacca would have been a better sidekick

That walking carpet? Hardly.



You see, this is just typical of the anti-Wookiee sentiment that persisted throughout the galaxy, even after the revolution. This bias is one of the main reasons that General Chewbacca's contributions to the struggle for freedom have been all but erased.

(In the case of General Detoo, it can probably be attributed to the influence of a certain bitchy, gold-colored protocol droid over the compilation and translation of his memoirs)
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 5:02 PM on October 25, 2014 [7 favorites]


the right to 'ship a non-canon couple also implies the right to deny in-canon relationships

Is this sentence English?


No, it's Nerdish. Here's shipping if that's what you're having problems with.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:09 PM on October 25, 2014


This thread is the worst thread.

(My opinion: it's not creepy, there's no transphobia, shipping isn't relevant, sanctimony is as toxic as most of the rest of the negativity present, this thread could only be saved by more cute parent/child costume pictures.)
posted by gadge emeritus at 6:47 PM on October 25, 2014 [10 favorites]


this thread could only be saved by more cute parent/child costume pictures.

Ok.
posted by mcmile at 7:10 PM on October 25, 2014 [10 favorites]


Young Man Logan poses with his buddy Batman. Batman is smaller because "only babies dress as Batman" according to the 4 year old who Made His Marvel after 2 consecutive years dressing as Batman for Halloween. Previously, I'd wear a Robin shirt while escorting him, this year it'll be a Sabretooth outfit.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 8:00 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Who shot first in the version of the movie she saw? That will inform how I judge this 7-year-old and her father...
posted by armacy at 8:24 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Wait, seriously? This is a discussion we're having? Han and Leia end up "lovers" in a ridiculously chaste kids' space opera sense and it's probably the last thing that pops into my head when I think about them. If these two were going as gender-swapped characters from Basic Instinct I would get it, but this? They're having fun dressing as two fun characters from some fun movies.
posted by brundlefly at 2:59 AM on October 26, 2014 [4 favorites]


There is no sweet thing in the world that metafilter cannot spin into something weird or creepy. Good work, champs. This says a lot more about you than it does about this father and daughter.
posted by to sir with millipedes at 6:18 AM on October 26, 2014 [7 favorites]


Parent as dead tauntaun, Baby as hypothermic Luke: awesome

As long as you don't make the tauntaun innards for your costume the same way they made the tauntaun innards on the set, because then that'd push it over to creepy. Babies don't need to be near that many condoms, even if they are just water filled.
posted by radwolf76 at 6:18 AM on October 26, 2014


Everything is pure to those whose hearts are pure. But nothing is pure to those who are corrupt.

This is a good Dad.
posted by rahnefan at 6:55 AM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


This dad, well and gurple upthread, is my hero. I'm not much of a costume guy but having a kid means fun group costumes as much as it means toys everywhere and early wake up calls.

this thread could only be saved by more cute parent/child costume pictures.

With that in mind here are some pics from the parrrtay we had with some friends yesterday. The kiddo was in a homemade (I have no idea where MrsEld finds the time alongside PhD stuffs) monkey outfit. I was a banana, we furry creatures (meaning me and the dogs) were all bananas actually. MrsEld was a tree for the monkey to climb on.

I swear to spaghetti monster, the first person to say something creepy about monkies eating bananas gets a uppercut right to their soul.

Watch out Leia dad, I'm taking notes and gunning for ya.
posted by RolandOfEld at 8:18 AM on October 26, 2014 [11 favorites]


Oh, and I've got permission to repurpose the banana costume next time I need it by (somehow) tying a hammock onto it.

... yep.
posted by RolandOfEld at 8:21 AM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


This sort of reminds me if when a little kid says, "mommy when I grow up I will marry you".

They just exist in a different plane of understanding, and they just mean, "I love you mom".
posted by chapps at 9:29 AM on October 26, 2014 [4 favorites]


I love the banana, monkey and tree costumes, BTW, RolandofEld!
posted by chapps at 9:32 AM on October 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


I don't think it's fair to reduce all of Metafilter as creepifying this thread. It was a small handful of awkward comments followed by lots of slack-jawed dismay. Also, now I'm feeling guilty for being so cavalier about Halloween. How does a causally thrown together cowboy coordinate with Lil Bo Peep? In defense of my family, however, our dog is dressing as a sheep.
posted by firemouth at 10:13 AM on October 26, 2014 [3 favorites]


Firemouth, it seems obvious to me that Bo peep and cow boy have similar jobs what with the herding of animals across fields and all.

I think they met at a rustling training seminar. Let's face it, no peep lost her sheep.

Or is rustling when you steal them? How about Bo peep is going undercover to find out if cowboy rustled her sheep??

Anyway, good theme costume I say!
posted by chapps at 10:20 AM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


Great idea, Chapps. I just ran your theory past Peep and it was met with enthusiasm. (Now, where did I put my chaps...)
posted by firemouth at 10:27 AM on October 26, 2014


Whoever it was who said this thread could be saved by more cute pictures, they were right.
posted by chavenet at 2:56 PM on October 26, 2014


Whoever it was who said this thread could be saved by more cute pictures, they were right.

Problem arises for those who didn't think the original picture were cute. Only the girl was button-cute, granted.

The father looked like something from a bad sit-com.
posted by IndigoJones at 4:13 PM on October 26, 2014


-Dad as Jabba, Daughter as Slave Leia: definitely creepy

- Daughter as Jabba, Dad as Slave Leia: OFF THE SCALE
posted by um at 8:10 PM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


could you please just dress as a plate of beans this 'ween? You can even have arguments with each other

FAVA FOREVER
NAVY NEVER
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 11:31 PM on October 26, 2014


My co-worker and his family
posted by mbrubeck at 8:15 PM on October 31, 2014 [3 favorites]


"I wanna have a lightsaber too!"
"But C-3PO doesn't use a lightsaber! He's not a Jedi!"
"I wanna lightsaber!!!"
"Okay, okay! Jeez!"
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 8:25 PM on October 31, 2014


"You know that nerf gun is out of character for Batgirl. You know, Bruce. Guns."

"I don't have any batarangs"

"You don't? What the hell? You go to school, I'll take care of this"
posted by mikelieman at 9:39 PM on October 31, 2014 [2 favorites]


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