What could possibly be worse than this Halloween costume?
October 25, 2014 7:12 PM   Subscribe

 
I have this meta idea for a Halloween costume: The Sexy Sexy. It's just a giant mass of dozens of boobs, held together by fishnet.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 7:15 PM on October 25, 2014 [87 favorites]


Hm. It could be sexier.
posted by RustyBrooks at 7:16 PM on October 25, 2014 [11 favorites]


Sexy Ebola Virion would be worse. Just get a foam tube, then loop it near your crotch
posted by benzenedream at 7:17 PM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


Somebody actually did an ebola virus costume at the last party I went to (not a sexy version, though).
posted by Mitrovarr at 7:19 PM on October 25, 2014


The fact that you wear it with "Women's Yellow Lace-Up Zipper Go Go Boots" really makes it that much better.
posted by zachlipton at 7:20 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


"Warning: May not protect against bodily fluids."
posted by mikeand1 at 7:21 PM on October 25, 2014 [7 favorites]


I flew through Baltimore this morning, and one of the restaurants was decorated in what I think was supposed to be a zombie theme? But they just had caution tape up everywhere that said "Infection Zone," which I think is actually not the best message for a restaurant in a big airport.
posted by ChuraChura at 7:28 PM on October 25, 2014 [69 favorites]


Which can currently be found at the Girl's Costume Warehouse.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 7:28 PM on October 25, 2014 [7 favorites]


I rather liked this one, though apparently it's just last year's Sexy Walter White Meth Suit repackaged.
posted by jeather at 7:30 PM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


oh my gerd teh ebollerz
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:32 PM on October 25, 2014 [12 favorites]


Hmmmm, I was going to guess "Actually getting Ebola".

That beats my "running into someone who's from an area affected by Ebola while wearing the costume."
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 7:39 PM on October 25, 2014 [18 favorites]


I was going with "Sexy Ebola Victim" myself.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 7:40 PM on October 25, 2014 [13 favorites]


I love capitalism so much I wanna punch it.
posted by um at 7:41 PM on October 25, 2014 [17 favorites]


I am still holding out for slutty Helen Keller and slutty Virgin Mary.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 7:46 PM on October 25, 2014 [8 favorites]


posted by b1tr0t at 7:22 PM on October 25
[+] [!]


I flew through Baltimore this morning, and one of the restaurants was decorated in what I think was supposed to be a zombie theme? But they just had caution tape up everywhere that said "Infection Zone," which I think is actually not the best message for a restaurant in a big airport.


Are you sure it wasn't just actually closed off because of an infection?
posted by Itaxpica at 7:49 PM on October 25, 2014 [7 favorites]


I am still holding out for slutty Helen Keller and slutty Virgin Mary.

it's an important philosophical question - what's the difference between a woman who can't see her boyfriend and a woman with an invisible boyfriend?
posted by pyramid termite at 7:53 PM on October 25, 2014 [80 favorites]


I don't think this Ebola Containment Suit is OSHA compliant. The Sexy Ebola Containment Suit? Definitely not OSHA compliant.
posted by Aster at 8:02 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]




I'm pretty sure that suit doesn't meet CDC specifications.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:04 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


I was actually going as Sexy Plague Doctor, but I figured it would be cliche.
posted by thivaia at 8:06 PM on October 25, 2014


I'm sure this gets posted every year, but Girls's Costume Warehouse (language nsfw)
posted by jenkinsEar at 8:09 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Ebola zombie
Confesses to reporter
Electronic spread
posted by Mblue at 8:09 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


slutty Virgin Mary.
You might have to settle for Sexy Nun, Sexy Jesus, and Sexy Pope.
posted by Flunkie at 8:10 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm pretty sure that suit doesn't meet CDC specifications.

My clinic's new PPE is still on order, so in the unlikely event we need it, we may just have to make do.

*sad trombone*
posted by The Legit Republic of Blanketsburg at 8:11 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


it's an important philosophical question - what's the difference between a woman who can't see her boyfriend and a woman with an invisible boyfriend?

:-)
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:18 PM on October 25, 2014


Are you sure it wasn't just actually closed off because of an infection?

Closed off because of an infection? In Baltimore? LOL.
posted by mikeand1 at 8:19 PM on October 25, 2014 [9 favorites]


it's even worse - for halloween, ebola's donning a bubonic plague costume
posted by pyramid termite at 8:23 PM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


I am still holding out for slutty Helen Keller and slutty Virgin Mary.

I was walking through the Osaka red light district the other day and on the costume aisle I found: a Catholic nun. Not even a sexy nun. Just a young woman in a habit reclining in what I can only assume was a vestal but approachably come hither posture.

Something for everyone in this world.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:26 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


Generally speaking I'm all for sexy; but Jesus H. Christ on a pogo stick, that's just stupidly badly wrong in every way.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:31 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


This Halloween, celebrate the greatest bacterial scourge off all time! You can be the "death" of the party, bedecked in the authentic regalia of Sexy Plague Wagon Driver!
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:31 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


So apparently this is just last year's Breaking Bad costume. I'm not sure if the shop just rebranded it or this is a straight up fake. Either way it's hilarious.

I'm gonna be Sexy Justice Warrior.
posted by Nelson at 8:33 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


Sexy Dick Cheney
posted by hellojed at 8:36 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


...and Hemorrhaging Frog.
posted by delfin at 8:38 PM on October 25, 2014


I am still holding out for slutty Helen Keller and slutty Virgin Mary.

#1 on this buzzfeed listicle is Sexy Virgin Mary. Not really very sexy though....so disappointed.
posted by the webmistress at 8:49 PM on October 25, 2014


Sexy Plague doctor could actually work. Or maybe that's just me.
posted by Grimgrin at 8:50 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]




Sexy sense of your own looming mortality.
posted by wormwood23 at 8:53 PM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


Hmmmm, I was going to guess "Actually getting Ebola".

Reavers. The answer is always "Reavers." Unless the question is "What could be worse than Reavers," in which case the answer is just "More Reavers!"

More to the point, "Sexy Reaver" would be a pretty awful costume.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:54 PM on October 25, 2014 [19 favorites]


#1 on this buzzfeed listicle is Sexy Virgin Mary.
What is the item that "Typical Irishwoman" is holding?
posted by Flunkie at 8:58 PM on October 25, 2014


This year, I decided to make a jellyfish costume out of an umbrella, on the theory that it would be cheap and not a ton of work to put together. I spent quite a bit of time last week surfing the internet looking for visual ideas so I could sort out how I wanted to construct the costume.

I was more startled than I probably should have been to realize that yes, sexy jellyfish is a thing. I had not previously associated quivering globules of stinging mucus with hot chicks, but I suppose it takes all sorts...
posted by sciatrix at 9:01 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


Remember kids - if you have to dick with a mask in order to drink, it's a bad costume.
posted by wotsac at 9:02 PM on October 25, 2014 [7 favorites]


What is the item that "Typical Irishwoman" is holding?

I believe she's holding a tiny cup.

Also, it seems like it would be more appropriate if it were "Drunken Noah" rather than "Drunken Moses".
posted by wormwood23 at 9:02 PM on October 25, 2014 [6 favorites]


Also, it seems like it would be more appropriate if it were "Drunken Noah" rather than "Drunken Moses".
Or Drunken Lot, which could be part of a group costume, Drunken Lot and his Sexy Incestuous Daughters.
posted by Flunkie at 9:08 PM on October 25, 2014 [11 favorites]


from @randygdub:
damn another guy also dressed as ebola at this Halloween party? what are the odds the 2 funniest people on earth would be at the same party
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:12 PM on October 25, 2014 [9 favorites]


Reavers. The answer is always "Reavers.

Shiny.
posted by arcticseal at 9:12 PM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


sexy scented paper mill
posted by Ray Walston, Luck Dragon at 9:13 PM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


That's not even the "Sexy Ebola Containment Suit" I expected.
I swear I saw one that was a complete containment suit, but clear, so you could see the booty shorts and fishnets and such.
Can't seem to find it now, though.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 9:16 PM on October 25, 2014 [3 favorites]


no one will ever top the idea of sexy abe vigoda so just stop trying
posted by poffin boffin at 9:34 PM on October 25, 2014 [10 favorites]


The real worst part is that it costs $110 to dress as sexy ebola.

This horrifyingly expensive catalog called "Chasing Fireflies" appears at my house constantly in the months leading up to Halloween, from which you can purchase a variety of $100 children's Halloween costumes, including this one that was titled "Butterfly Princess" on the catalog's cover but is obviously the sort of princess who MAKES HER DRESS FROM THE DEAD AND DISMEMBERED BODIES OF HER SUBJECTS.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 9:34 PM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]


Sexy Ebola Virion would be worse. Just get a foam tube, then loop it near your crotch
posted by benzenedream at 5:17 AM on October 26 [2 favorites +] [!]

Somebody actually did an ebola virus costume at the last party I went to (not a sexy version, though).
posted by Mitrovarr at 5:19 AM on October 26 [+] [!]


It's an unusually virulent 4chan meme. Please remember to observe proper decontamination procedure after contact with 4chan.
posted by topynate at 10:17 PM on October 25, 2014 [4 favorites]




Thanks to this thread, I now have that Girls's Costume Warehouse video open in three tabs! It's amazing! Here's another link!
posted by Trinity-Gehenna at 10:48 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]




Drunken Lot, which could be part of a group costume

Perfect, I'll go as the sexy pillar of salt.
posted by drinkyclown at 11:00 PM on October 25, 2014 [13 favorites]


DirtyOldTown: I have this meta idea for a Halloween costume: The Sexy Sexy. It's just a giant mass of dozens of boobs, held together by fishnet.

I'm imagining a bunch of grapes, but with boobs. You really want to add some legs and butts sticking out at obtuse angles though.

Am I overthinking this?
posted by emptythought at 11:01 PM on October 25, 2014 [2 favorites]


wormwood23: "Also, it seems like it would be more appropriate if it were "Drunken Noah" rather than "Drunken Moses"."

Holy Shit LOL...

So growing up in my fundie xian church - they had an "alternative" event for the church for halloween, and you could dress up as your favorite Bible Characters. Oh what fun! Most of them looked like the "Chic Sheik", really. Lots of ladies dressed up like what they think Ruth and Mary and, I dunno... So my first comment was going to be about the sheik and how that was sort of the common motif in general.

But now I think your comment would make the whole thing *really* awesome!

Or King David holding a box of Philistine Foreskins as Dowry. There's so many great offensive Bible things once could go as, but because they're all... you know... fuddy-duddy Christians. Yawwwwwwn.
posted by symbioid at 11:08 PM on October 25, 2014 [1 favorite]


symbioid: "There's so many great offensive Bible things once could go as"

Once I threw a wedding shower for a divinity student and all the guests were divinity students and I threw it as a lingerie shower with the theme of Biblical Whores. Everyone had to come as their favorite Biblical whore and we only ate food mentioned in the Bible, which in practice meant Fig Newtons and endless wine, and we played "identify the dirty Bible verse" and anyway everyone ended up too drunk to go home.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 11:13 PM on October 25, 2014 [56 favorites]


Maybe I could go to Purim as The Whore of Babylon 5.
posted by Dreidl at 11:48 PM on October 25, 2014 [17 favorites]


Sexy Gamergate
posted by benzenedream at 12:08 AM on October 26, 2014 [6 favorites]


Sexy Ebola Cosplayer

new nick spotted
posted by Sebmojo at 12:09 AM on October 26, 2014


I'm still hoping for Sexy Otto von Bismark.
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:47 AM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


Or, possibly, Sexy Sexy Costume Sweatshop Worker.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:40 AM on October 26, 2014 [6 favorites]


Nothing competes with this.
posted by brundlefly at 2:47 AM on October 26, 2014 [9 favorites]


The whole idea of there being a sexy version of everything reminds me of an illustration project my friend Andrea is doing with her friend Maelle: The Sexy Calendar.

Might be good for some costume inspiration. You too could go as a sexy Snellen chart!
posted by ocherdraco at 3:34 AM on October 26, 2014 [9 favorites]


"Thanks to this thread, I now have that Girls's Costume Warehouse video open in three tabs!"
posted by Trinity-Gehenna

Perfect!
posted by marienbad at 5:02 AM on October 26, 2014


Slutty Madeliene Albright?
posted by blue_beetle at 5:14 AM on October 26, 2014 [3 favorites]


Once I threw a wedding shower for a divinity student and all the guests were divinity students and I threw it as a lingerie shower with the theme of Biblical Whores. Everyone had to come as their favorite Biblical whore and we only ate food mentioned in the Bible, which in practice meant Fig Newtons and endless wine, and we played "identify the dirty Bible verse" and anyway everyone ended up too drunk to go home.

I would absolutely go to your parties.
posted by Dip Flash at 5:27 AM on October 26, 2014 [3 favorites]


I've been trying to convince the missus that we just turn-off the house lights, hide in the bedroom and skip the trick-or-treating altogether this year. Over the past few years, the ratio of "now that was a great costume" to "another bunch of kids dressed as hobos" has dropped precipitously to where it's just no fun opening the door anymore.

If there is any chance that some ragamuffin might come dressed as the actual virus, I might relent and and hand-out goodies. But, damn if it isn't a long night to spend hoping that one great costume appears at my door. I'd probably give the kid half the bowl of candy if they did. The whole bowl if they're under 10 years old.
posted by Thorzdad at 5:35 AM on October 26, 2014


Are you infectious baby because I am starting to feel feverish.
posted by shothotbot at 5:48 AM on October 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


So apparently this is just last year's Breaking Bad costume.

I'm picturing the Sexy Costume Tycoon ruefully sitting in a warehouse full of unsold Breaking Bad costumes. Then he picks up a paper and reads about the Ebola outbreak. A smile crosses his lips.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 7:24 AM on October 26, 2014 [12 favorites]


> :-)

The Cheshire Cat boyfriend faded away slowly until nothing was left of it but its grin. “Well! I’ve often seen a cat boyfriend without a grin,” thought Alice; “but a grin without a cat boyfriend! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!”</i?
posted by jfuller at 7:48 AM on October 26, 2014


My nomination for worse: whiteface Ray Rice and Janay Palmer. Posted by their son, so too late to stop them, they are already breeding.
posted by madamjujujive at 8:04 AM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


What could possible be worse than an "Ebola Containment Suit" Halloween costume?
Leia and Han apparently.
posted by fullerine at 8:26 AM on October 26, 2014 [3 favorites]


One of the weirdest one, although I suspect it was ironic is Sexy Gregor Samsa
posted by motdiem2 at 8:34 AM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


I'm still hoping for Sexy Otto von Bismark.

Wait no longer.
posted by kirkaracha at 8:57 AM on October 26, 2014 [8 favorites]


Halloween-costume angle aside, I'm waiting for someone to take the gendered-everything bullshit to its tasteless extreme and make a fake ad for Ebola For Her.

Hint: it's pink.
posted by psoas at 9:18 AM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


Can't not drop this link, from super indie Canadian illustrator Jillian Tamaki at her SuperMutant Magic site which include "Sexy New York Subway Rat" and almost a score more.
posted by Jesse the K at 9:18 AM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]




Sexy dirt - it's sexy because it's dirty.
posted by Solomon at 11:07 AM on October 26, 2014


Tip to keep the profiteers from winning if you were to want to do things as above. Look for:
Tyvek
Respirator
Face shield
posted by wotsac at 12:01 PM on October 26, 2014


I am backstage at my church play right now and I am playing Gomer, who is literally a biblical whore and I am very very sexy. I just wanted you to know.
posted by Biblio at 12:21 PM on October 26, 2014


The sexy calendar should get its own FPP. It's awesome.
posted by medusa at 12:25 PM on October 26, 2014


At least it's one less person dressed as Frozen's Elsa.
posted by dances with hamsters at 2:33 PM on October 26, 2014 [3 favorites]


Sexy Masque Of The Red Death
posted by The Whelk at 2:59 PM on October 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


"I'm still hoping for Sexy Otto von Bismark."

Wait no longer.


That's less a "come hither" look than a "whither have they gone" look. More pensive, less sexy. Although the breastplate probably gets some fanciers. And his mustache is better than Wilhelm II's.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:26 PM on October 26, 2014


The Whelk: "Sexy Masque Of The Red Death"

If that would be a person in a fancy period ballgown spattered or dripping with blood, then there were a metric ton of them at the Halloween parade yesterday. That and people wearing plague doctor beaks.
posted by Bugbread at 3:31 PM on October 26, 2014


I'm not worried about Ebola me and my friends are having a costume party far away from town - I'm painting all the rooms different colors!
posted by The Whelk at 3:32 PM on October 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


I saw a sexy bee outfit in a costume shop last week. A bee. Like, a stinging, honey-gathering insect. Not even kidding.

Oh gods, here it is.
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 3:43 PM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


shothotbot: Are you infectious baby because I am starting to feel feverish.

this sounds like an actual midnight star lyric, like to the point i googled it to see if it was.
posted by emptythought at 4:18 PM on October 26, 2014


The Whelk: "Sexy Masque Of The Red Death"

Huh. From the "Adaptations" part of the Wikipedia article on the Masque of the Red Death:
"Wendy Pini wrote and illustrated "Masque of the Red Death", an erotic version set in the future."
posted by Bugbread at 5:13 PM on October 26, 2014


For frugal super hilarity you could just put on a cheap protective face mask and drag a blood-stained mattress behind you.
posted by turbid dahlia at 5:32 PM on October 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


I saw a sexy bee outfit in a costume shop last week. A bee. Like, a stinging, honey-gathering insect. Not even kidding.

For a lot of people Halloween is one of the very rare occasions where they feel ok to dress transgressively sexual (along with Vegas, couples-only all-inclusive resorts, and bachelorette parties), so the theme of the costume is often just a pathway for the sexy. Sexy bee makes just as much sense as sexy anything, I guess.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:04 PM on October 26, 2014


Sexy $ALL_COSTUMES_YOU_COULD_THINK_OF is the rule 34 of Halloween.
posted by el io at 8:42 PM on October 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


For a lot of people Halloween is one of the very rare occasions where they feel ok to dress transgressively sexual

Sure, let your freak flag fly and all that, but who out there wants to fuck a bee?
posted by His thoughts were red thoughts at 10:25 PM on October 26, 2014


That's why they had to sex it up.
posted by Bugbread at 11:11 PM on October 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


turbid, you could also just bring a Metrocard and a bowling ball...
posted by en forme de poire at 10:06 AM on October 27, 2014


Eyebrows McGee, Fig Newtons? You could have totally gone for the wine, cheese, and bread plate.
posted by tavella at 11:23 AM on October 27, 2014


I saw a sexy bee outfit in a costume shop last week. A bee. Like, a stinging, honey-gathering insect. Not even kidding

Blind Melon fans can't be *that* big a market, can they?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 11:38 AM on October 27, 2014


Er, fruit, cheese, and bread plate. Wine was on my brain...
posted by tavella at 11:42 AM on October 27, 2014


Sexy John Oliver.
posted by maryr at 1:25 PM on October 27, 2014 [5 favorites]




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