"It was terrible the first time, and it's terrible now."
November 18, 2014 9:28 AM   Subscribe

“Do They Know It's Christmas?” may, or may not, be the most tasteless and smug charity song ever recorded, and at least the 2014 version fixes a particularly “bone-headed” lyric from the first time around, but neither version is a patch on 2005's “Do they know it's Hallowe'en?” a riposte masterminded by the beloved, excellent, long-dead Unicorns.
posted by Zerowensboring (120 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
 
I hate that song, but I hate just about every extant Christmas song. I can't even tolerate the Trans-Siberian Orchestra until the 21st of December. Bah humbug, and have yourselves a smelly little shitmas.
posted by starbreaker at 9:35 AM on November 18, 2014 [4 favorites]


Thanks so much for posting this! I had missed that song somehow. I never knew how much I needed David Cross/Unicorns collaboration. I miss the Unicorns so much, they are easily one of the most underrated bands from the 2000s. I continue to be super bummed that I missed their very short-lived reunion opening for Arcade Fire recently.
posted by dialetheia at 9:36 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


[Screams]
posted by ryanshepard at 9:37 AM on November 18, 2014 [4 favorites]


Aww, I kind of like that song. It's got bells, at least. Even as a young child hearing the song for the first time, it was clear that the "bone-headed" lyric was just very biting sarcasm.
posted by Rock Steady at 9:40 AM on November 18, 2014 [8 favorites]


I read this yesterday. One thing that seemed open to interpretation to me was the question of whether the line "where nothing ever grows, no rain nor rivers flow" portrayed Africa as one undifferentiated entity. I had always interpreted that to mean "we're talking about the part of Africa where nothing ever grows..." not that all of Africa is like that. At the time the song was about the famine in Ethiopia specifically, so I assumed it was a reference to that region of Africa specifically.

I later learned that Ethiopia is actually a fertile farming region most of the time and then started wondering why they wouldn't have said "where nothing's growing now" or some such, but still didn't think they were implying that all of Africa is constantly and uniformly famine-stricken.

Also, I thought the bone-headed lyric was essentially "there but for the grace of God..." in other words -- that could just as easily have been you, so have a little empathy for this situation.

Maybe I was too generous in my interpretation.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 9:41 AM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


Oh, I was hoping they changed "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."
posted by maryr at 9:42 AM on November 18, 2014 [7 favorites]


Huh, I always really liked that lyric. I thought it was oddly honest - people in the developed world should be grateful that they were born where they were.
posted by jbickers at 9:43 AM on November 18, 2014 [10 favorites]


(The Washington Post doesn't like the song either.)
posted by maryr at 9:43 AM on November 18, 2014




i hate so many lines in that song, not least of all the title which always seemed very assured that everyone is christian everywhere.
posted by nadawi at 9:46 AM on November 18, 2014 [15 favorites]


Ain't no party like a Status Quo party.
posted by The Card Cheat at 9:46 AM on November 18, 2014 [4 favorites]


I love Christmas music, I really do, but man I hate that song. I always heard this whole song as "isn't it terrible that they're not Christian? We are Christian so we know about this season and how Jesus makes us happy this time of year, and also we know about prayer, but they aren't Christian [and we will imply that it is their lack of Christianity that causes their problems]." I don't actually think that's what the writers meant, exactly, at least not on purpose, but that's sure what the lyrics imply. And that's without the "there's no water or snow there! It's a place that's Different and Bad and everyone who lives there should be sad they live there!" parts. I'm sort of ashamed at the artists I like that participated in this... they couldn't write an aid for Africa song that isn't actively offensive?
posted by brainmouse at 9:46 AM on November 18, 2014 [12 favorites]


Ugh, they resurrected that horrible song? They couldn't manage to write a better song in thirty years?
posted by octothorpe at 9:47 AM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


Also, I thought the bone-headed lyric was essentially "there but for the grace of God..." in other words -- that could just as easily have been you, so have a little empathy for this situation.

Maybe I was too generous in my interpretation.


It's a bit hard to imagine any other interpretation making a lick of sense. If you go with the (forced and ridiculous) interpretation implied by the "shock! horror! they said WHAT?!" response, we're supposed to think that all these mega-stars were donating their time and effort in order to raise money to send to people whose sufferings pleased them and which they did not in fact want to alleviate. That's pretty stupid.

Yeah, it's a pretty crappy, paint-by-numbers song. On the other hand, if we are to weigh in the moral scales the action of making a crappy, paint-by-numbers song so as to raise money to send to suffering people versus the action of writing carping blog posts about how you'd have written a much better song if someone had had the wisdom to ask you to do it and, you know, if you could be arsed then it seems to me that it's pretty clear who is on the side of the angels here.
posted by yoink at 9:47 AM on November 18, 2014 [28 favorites]


Ok, that's the first time I've seen the video of the new version. Am I old because I know just about everyone in the old video and only Bono (and maybe Sinead O'Connor -- was that her in the hat?) in the new one?
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 9:47 AM on November 18, 2014


Oh, I was hoping they changed "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."

I can never hear that line without thinking "Because that would help so much. Now they're starving and freezing."

We should just scrap the song entirely. It's just mind-numbingly stupid.
posted by bibliowench at 9:48 AM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


Christmas jumps the shark for me not when Target puts out decorations before Halloween, but when Metafilter has a Christmas Music post before Thanksgiving. #alreadyburntoutonxmas
posted by Nanukthedog at 9:48 AM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


I would like to take this opportunity to thank the Flight of the Conchords again for single-handedly redeeming the charity single. (previously)
posted by argonauta at 9:48 AM on November 18, 2014 [5 favorites]


Bah humbug, and have yourselves a smelly little shitmas.

That sounds like a line from "A Trailer Park Boys Christmas" - which totally needs to be made, as soon as they make up with Corey and Michael (money soothes bruised feelings, or it would in this case) so we can have the full cast. Bubbles in a Santa suit, Ricky dressed as an elf, Randy and Leahey doing the Max and Grinch thing. Cannot miss.

(And we heard the "Do They Know It's Halloween" song on Slacker's Kid's Halloween channel, it's pretty fun! Also six hundred covers of "Monster Mash", all of them terrible, and ton of horror surf guitar, all of it awesome.)
posted by Slap*Happy at 9:51 AM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


we will imply that it is their lack of Christianity that causes their problems

I don't think anybody ever had that idea arise unbidden to their minds on listening to that song. It's a product of a deliberate against-the-grain reading.

Yes, the song is ethnocentric and self-congratulatory. You want to get people to dig into their pockets and cough up money for a good cause? You do it by telling them they're good people and that their ethical principles--which are inherently good--should prompt them to give. If you're raising money in a predominantly Islamic country, you do it by reminding them that charitable giving is one of the pillars of the Muslim faith. If you're raising money around Christmastime in predominantly culturally-Christian countries, you're missing out on a pretty good stick for shaking money out of the money-tree if you don't associate charitable giving with the "Christmas spirit."
posted by yoink at 9:53 AM on November 18, 2014 [17 favorites]


as far as effectiveness goes - are there write ups about how much money was raised and where that money went? was/is it actually helping people, or is it more like bono's product red - a lot of flash without a lot of money actually getting into the right hands?
posted by nadawi at 9:53 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


I don't think anybody ever had that idea arise unbidden to their minds on listening to that song.

i think you're unqualified to speak on what everyone might have thought for the last 30 years. i personally wasn't trying to be purposefully against the grain when i had that reaction.
posted by nadawi at 9:56 AM on November 18, 2014 [20 favorites]


Had Bob Geldof known about St. Frumentius who evangelized Ethiopia in the 4th century AD, he would have realized that they do, in fact, know it's Christmas.
posted by deanc at 9:56 AM on November 18, 2014 [10 favorites]


"We are the World" kicks this song's ass handily.
posted by Renoroc at 9:58 AM on November 18, 2014 [4 favorites]


I wouldn't know, Slap*Happy, since I haven't seen Trailer Park Boys. Netflix keeps suggesting it, and I keep finding other things to watch. :)

I'm 36, and got burned out on Christmas in college. Working in a supermarket and having to listen to wailing kids screeching "Mommylookit!" every time they see yet another shitty imported toy from China while hearing the same shitty songs on the in-store Muzak between 10/31 and 12/31 proved too much.

So now I'm the resident Scrooge at my office. There were some spirits who came by and tried to persuade me, but I knew who to call.

Here's another one for ya.
Jingle Bells, Batman smells
Robin laid an egg.
The Batmobile lost a wheel
and the Joker got away (Hey!)
posted by starbreaker at 9:59 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


Is it smug or not? Do you like it or not? Did the artists act altruistically or not? Is Bob Geldof the worst person ever or not?

All irrelevant. The only question of relevance is did Band Aid and Live Aid raise millions and save many lives? Yes they did.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 10:00 AM on November 18, 2014 [7 favorites]


I don't think anybody ever had that idea arise unbidden to their minds on listening to that song.

What? I was too young for the song when it first came out, and had no context for it the first time I heard it, but that is exactly what I thought - that it was a "Christianity causes happiness" song. That interpretation is literally in the title! The implication of "Do they know it's Christmas" being "their lives would be better if they knew it was Christmas".
posted by brainmouse at 10:00 AM on November 18, 2014 [7 favorites]


I don't think anybody ever had that idea arise unbidden to their minds on listening to that song.

Huh? That was my very first response, without ever hearing a word of criticism about it. It's implied by the title for chrissake!
posted by dialetheia at 10:00 AM on November 18, 2014 [5 favorites]


This song is gross, and so is the notion that anything designed to raise money for [feel good cause] is exempt from or should be subject to less critical examination.
posted by almostmanda at 10:01 AM on November 18, 2014 [13 favorites]


I always kind of liked the original - it sounded like Geldof, et al spent 90 minutes writing an unpolished ditty then called up a bunch of semi-willing celebrity friends to help out. Most of the hate comes from the song's enormous success, the lyrics are designed to be a little confrontational, while you and yours are stuffed with Christmas turkey, others are just having another day starving in the sun, which was absolutely true.

The followups have all be terrible, at this point they should probably just write another song.
posted by AndrewStephens at 10:03 AM on November 18, 2014 [4 favorites]


Rock Steady: "Aww, I kind of like that song. It's got bells, at least. Even as a young child hearing the song for the first time, it was clear that the "bone-headed" lyric was just very biting sarcasm."

I always heard the entire song in that sense. Surely the title question, "Do They Know it's Christmas?" is calling out the kind of provincial ignorance that would ask such a thing.

(For the record, it would not have been Christmas in Ethiopia yet because they've been celebrating it on January 7th for probably longer than England has been celebrating it at all and would be observing the fast of Advent during England's "Christmas Season.")
posted by straight at 10:04 AM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


I dunno, I'd say sneering at something that, hate it or not, smug or not, has raised millions of needed dollars to address a present crisis is its own special kind of smug.
posted by dry white toast at 10:04 AM on November 18, 2014 [10 favorites]


I had two reactions:

First, the quality of the singing in the new recording is much worse. Tons of vocal fry in effect.

Second, the haircuts and outfits were much more diverse and interesting in the group from 1984.
posted by slkinsey at 10:04 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


And surely "Band Aid" is also an ironic comment about the limits of one-time gifts to charity.
posted by straight at 10:08 AM on November 18, 2014 [8 favorites]


people keep bringing up the millions raised - but it does seem like there are concerns about what the money funded.

the susan g komen foundation raises an absolute obscene amount of money, but i think we pretty much all agree that it's not handled properly (and in fact is spent in ways that goes against its mission). the dollar amount is not as important as how it's used.
posted by nadawi at 10:08 AM on November 18, 2014 [5 favorites]


"And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom."
posted by colie at 10:09 AM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


Critical examination of it? Who gives a fuck what us rich westerners have the luxury if doing. Criticise away. I'm sure some guy whose life was saved in Ethiopia in 1984 gives a ton of shits about its artistic merits.
posted by GallonOfAlan at 10:09 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


"We are the World" kicks this song's ass handily.

You're in luck: "At the announcement made on Monday, Geldof revealed that Quincy Jones would be assembling a band for a U.S. follow up to the mega-hit charity song 'We Are The World.'"

(Maybe this time with just as much Kenny Rogers, a little less Dan Akyroyd.)
posted by argonauta at 10:09 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


It's implied by the title for chrissake!

No, it's not. There's an amazing lot of smug ignorance about this issue parading as superior knowledge. As, for example, the general assumption that this was a bunch of "Christians" singing about a bunch of "non-Christians." The song wasn't about "Africa" it was specifically about a famine in Ethiopia. You know, a country that is majority Christian and is, indeed, one of the oldest Christian countries in the world. So the question "Do They Know it's Christmas" is not "have these heathen heard the good word" it is "will they have any reason to be thankful in this Christmas season?" And, again, when the song came out (and there hadn't been decades worth of "I'm so much better a person than Bob Geldof because I chose not to do anything at all in the face of famine in Africa" snark framing people's opinions) absolutely nobody thought that the song was about proselytizing to the godless heathen. Nobody. I mean, seriously, were we supposed to imagine that Bob fucking Geldof was getting up on his hind legs to say "oh, those benighted infidel--if only we brought them the word of God they wouldn't suffer in this way"? No, this was simply an appeal (a highly effective appeal) to a cultural association between the Christmas season and "doing good."
posted by yoink at 10:10 AM on November 18, 2014 [31 favorites]


Africa, Stop Ebola
Disaster appeals are necessary but it also matters what picture they give of crises and their structural causes. People need to understand the long-term factors which have made the Ebola crisis possible. This crisis is part of a long colonial disengagement, and a consequence of the years of structural adjustment tearing up local healthcare infrastructure. Geldof, Bono et al are deeply complicit in glossing neoliberal policies towards the continent with a humanitarian/anti-poverty sheen of respectability. These policies will continue to fail ordinary people and actively prevent governments putting in place the quality public services people require... Geldof is the one who always gets the international platform on crises in Africa (he says he’s responding to a request from the UN this time), but he never talks about these things. In his launch, he spoke about how “tragic” it was that “modernity” has arrived in Africa at last and it has brought Ebola with it. It’s the kind of nonsense you end up coming out with when you mean well but don’t really know what you’re talking about.
Consuming Africa (at Christmas Time)
posted by ChuraChura at 10:11 AM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


If a radio station were ever to play "Do They Know It's Christmas," "Wonderful Christmas Time," and "Christmas Shoes" all one after another, then a passage to a hell dimension would open up and the strains of a fourth song would trickle out. This has not yet happened, so theologians can only guess at the infernal contours of the Fourth Song.

Could it be a collaboration by Sugar Ray and Rob Thomas? Would there come repeated attempts to rhyme Christmas Day with roller blades? An interminable solo plinked out on a toy xylophone? A children's chorus providing backup for the big finish? The answer to all of these is almost certainly "yeah, sure."
posted by Iridic at 10:11 AM on November 18, 2014 [10 favorites]


GallonOfAlan: Critical examination of it? Who gives a fuck what us rich westerners have the luxury if doing. Criticise away. I'm sure some guy whose life was saved in Ethiopia in 1984 gives a ton of shits about its artistic merits.

Well, if the song is better, more people will buy it, which will raise more money. Of course some people will like it and buy it, some people will be "meh" about the content but buy it for the cause, but clearly a song more people like should raise more money, and a lot of people think this song sucks.
posted by tonycpsu at 10:11 AM on November 18, 2014


There's an amazing lot of smug ignorance about this issue parading as superior knowledge.

There sure is.
posted by dialetheia at 10:12 AM on November 18, 2014 [9 favorites]


I don't think anybody ever had that idea arise unbidden to their minds on listening to that song. It's a product of a deliberate against-the-grain reading.
I was 11 when it came out, and I distinctly remember thinking "well, if they're Christian then they probably do know, and if they're not Christian then why should they care?" But I was also a non-Christian, non-Christmas-celebrating 11-year-old, so maybe that seemed particularly obvious to me.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 10:12 AM on November 18, 2014 [5 favorites]


I love the song. It's pretty much no more inaccurate and damaging than any love song.
posted by taterpie at 10:14 AM on November 18, 2014


Trivia: Of the 8 Canadian musicians credited with individual lyrics for Do They Know It's Halloween, three have since won the Polaris Prize, the highest award in Canadian indie music, with one more making the shortlist. I think that bodes well for Peaches' chance next year...
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:15 AM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]





Second, the haircuts and outfits were much more diverse and interesting in the group from 1984.


Artists rerecording the song should be required to do it in period (1984) clothing and hairspray.
posted by ZeusHumms at 10:17 AM on November 18, 2014 [8 favorites]


At the time the song was about the famine in Ethiopia specifically, so I assumed it was a reference to that region of Africa specifically.

The problem with that is that there are rivers in Ethiopia, like the Nile. During the famine, they were still exporting green beans to the UK. The song is so misleading and simplistic.
posted by autoclavicle at 10:18 AM on November 18, 2014 [4 favorites]


So the question "Do They Know it's Christmas" is not "have these heathen heard the good word" it is "will they have any reason to be thankful in this Christmas season?"

Look, I'm not saying that's what they intended, but what with the "no rivers" and "no snow" parts of the song (when Ethiopia itself has both), I don't think it's a stretch to suspect that the writers also had no idea that the country the song was about had lots of Christians either. I do not speak to their intent, I don't know their intent, I only vaguely know who Bob Geldof is and I don't have any idea what he stands for, and I wasn't around to understand the song in context when it first came out. But the lyrics of the song, without that context (which is how most people now know it -- and remember the current version isn't even intended to be for Ethiopia), can easily be - and often is - interpreted as a "Christianity makes people happy" song, regardless of if that's how the authors meant it. And to ignore that fact -- to continue to offend even if that wasn't their intent, knowing that many, many people read it this way -- is bad, and should be discussed.
posted by brainmouse at 10:18 AM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


Status Quo also enjoyed Live Aid and the accompanying refreshments immensely. They arrived by helicopter but found the backstage scene a bit tame, so headed off to their favourite pub in the helicopter again. Then they saw on the TV that things had picked up at the gig, so got in the helicopter and returned.
posted by colie at 10:19 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


On the subject of awful Christmas songs, the only job I ever literally walked away from, mid-shift, with no warning whatsoever was a Cinnabun in a mall. Bad enough by itself, it's infinitely worse after you hear the instrumental Muzak version of The Twelve Days of Christmas for the jillionth fucking time. I lasted three weeks before one too many "DA-dada-dada DA-dada-dada" and aaaaaaaaaahjefjjfhkkwhyfkjsjjfk
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 10:21 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


And surely "Band Aid" is also an ironic comment about the limits of one-time gifts to charity.

Actually, kinda. They were thinking that maybe they'd sell a couple thousand singles and turn the money over to Save the Children or UNICEF or something, and that'd be it. It was only when sales totally blew up that Geldof started thinking "whoaaaaaaa. Okay, maybe this is bigger than I thought," and started thinking about a more organized thing.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:23 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


(For certain definitions of "organized", that is.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:24 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


I don't like the song, but if we didn't have it, we could never have had the Venture Aid 2006 version of it. Which is wonderful ("Thanks, God!").
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:25 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


dry white toast: “I dunno, I'd say sneering at something that, hate it or not, smug or not, has raised millions of needed dollars to address a present crisis is its own special kind of smug.”

David Rieff: “A strong case can be made for Live Aid's achievements. According to one Ethiopia expert, Alex de Waal, the relief effort may have cut the death toll by between a quarter and a half. The problem is that it may have contributed to as many deaths. The negative effects of the NGO presence on the government side became more pronounced as the crisis went on. Moreover, the government in Addis Ababa became increasingly adept at manipulating these Live Aid-funded NGOs. Indeed, a good case can be made that the picture provided of the Ethiopian famine was to some degree manipulated by the Dergue from the beginning.”

Adam Curtis: “Those running Live Aid thought that they had transcended the corruption of politics. But actually, the money they raised may have had its own corrupting and destructive influence in Africa...”
posted by koeselitz at 10:28 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


How is this a Christianity makes people happy song? They don't say to let them know it's Christmas time again by sending over Bibles or tracts or calendars with the 25th of December helpfully circled. They say "feed the world."
posted by knuckle tattoos at 10:31 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


for me it gave more of an air of "we have to help those savages who don't have the blessings christianity gives but since we're all such good christians we're going to save them." i've always found it pretty icky - even more so as i learn more about intersectionality and how the white savior complex fucks shit up.
posted by nadawi at 10:48 AM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


yoink: “I mean, seriously, were we supposed to imagine that Bob fucking Geldof was getting up on his hind legs to say ‘oh, those benighted infidel--if only we brought them the word of God they wouldn't suffer in this way’? No, this was simply an appeal (a highly effective appeal) to a cultural association between the Christmas season and ‘doing good.’”

That's exactly the problem with it. The cultural association is that "Christmas" means "doing good" – and therefore people in Africa who haven't heard of Christmas don't know what this particular "doing good" means, have never experienced it; and we Western initiates to the mysteries of modern secularized good-doing Christmas are neglecting our sacred duty by not teaching them through our charitable actions.

Rock Steady: “Even as a young child hearing the song for the first time, it was clear that the ‘bone-headed’ lyric was just very biting sarcasm.”

It is pretty clearly sarcasm, I think; but that is almost worse to me. It's that trademark Bob Geldof biting sarcasm, the sarcasm that dripped behind the hideously offensive "I Don't Like Mondays," a song that got away with profiting off of an actual school shooting by telegraphing a sneering snideness about the emptiness of modern life. The same type of sarcasm is on display in "Do They Know That It's Christmas?" – the cool sarcasm that hints directly that anybody who doesn't happen to be the person singing the song is complicit in something terrible.

Bending that kind of sarcasm around a charity event is a great way to make it hip, I guess, but it doesn't grant the moral high ground that some people seem to think it does.
posted by koeselitz at 10:52 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


If the song was originally for Ethiopia, I think we can assume most of them knew when Christmas was...
posted by Navelgazer at 10:59 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


If the song was originally for Ethiopia, I think we can assume most of them knew when Christmas was...

yeah, and it's also ridiculous to assume that Rocky Balboa literally developed a feline eye in the ring, or that Blondie's ex had his aorta turn into a silicate compound or that women in Australia glow and the men all constantly puke.



IT IS CALLED POETIC LICENSE AND SOMETIMES PEOPLE SAY DUMB THINGS TO MAKE A RHYME SCAN PROPERLY AND MOST PEOPLE KNOW NOT TO TAKE IT SERIOUSLY
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:06 AM on November 18, 2014 [7 favorites]


This inverted world where the Unicorns are roundly ignored in favor of faffing over a bunch of dweebs singing an unintentionally mind-destroying song pains me greatly.

IT IS NOT CHRISTMAS Y ET.

IT IS CLEARLY STILL HALLOWEEN. Don't you know it's Halloween?
posted by carsonb at 11:10 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


"And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom."

Seriously, what the hell is a clanging chime of doom?
posted by Metroid Baby at 11:24 AM on November 18, 2014


Clanging chimes of doom would be bad enough, but these ones have passed themselves off as Christmas bells. Unimaginable horror.
posted by colie at 11:27 AM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


Er................ to all the rich comfortable not sick not dying folks with your little pompous words about this song, Bob Geldof, the real efforts he has made the last 30 years - it is about humans dying and well, selling that idea to rich comfortable not sick not dying folks sometimes is not perfect. Get over yourselves and be a bit more forgiving. Dead babies are not an idle topic for trolling.
posted by Freedomboy at 11:29 AM on November 18, 2014


Surely there is room for both an appreciation of the good intent of Band Aid as well as piss taking about the awful lyrics and the coke-fuelled excesses of the song's silly performers.
posted by colie at 11:36 AM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


apparently if you have any reservations about the song or how the money was spent you like to kill babies. good to know.
posted by nadawi at 11:38 AM on November 18, 2014 [17 favorites]


Freedomboy: “Get over yourselves and be a bit more forgiving. Dead babies are not an idle topic for trolling.”

It is not trolling to point out using facts that the only 'good' cultural paternalism of this kind has done is to make us English-speakers feel better about ourselves.

Your last sentence here is crass and low, and I can't bring myself to respond directly to it beyond saying that some things ought not be used as a proof of someone's moral high ground.
posted by koeselitz at 11:40 AM on November 18, 2014 [10 favorites]


Why does nadawi like to kill babies?
posted by jalexei at 11:40 AM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


Africa's only hope of success against poverty is through sustained, structured and equitable economic growth brought about through things such as investment and tourism. It's hard to imagine how a few dollars raised every so often can possibly outweigh the damage it does by blemishing the continent's image.
-Ethiopian financial analyst

This is likely to exacerbate the discrimination of Africans as potential Ebola-carriers that we have already seen. ...
If the purpose of Bob Geldof and others is really to help the Ebola response rather than burnish their own profiles as modern day saints, they would donate money behind the scenes. The money that will be raised through this Ebola single could easily be raised by these rich musicians having a whip round among themselves and their friends.

-Nigerian human rights activist

And others
posted by vacapinta at 11:45 AM on November 18, 2014 [5 favorites]


I unashamedly love this song -- at least in its original version.

For me it's a hugely potent time machine back to being 14 again, to being a teenager in Thatcher's Britain, all excess and greed and city boys and estate agents, watching the reporting from Ethiopia on the TV news night after night, and feeling like nobody in power was doing anything about it.

And then Geldof and Ure standing up and saying, well, we'll do something then. And then the music industry rallying around them; and then the huge swell of popular support.

Is it a great song? Probably not. But it's a good song. And it represents a shining moment of greatness, a reminder that people could be decent and good and kind, in the middle of a fairly bloody bleak period in the UK. I will always love it for that.

(And FWIW I never heard that "instead of you" line as "bone-headed", nor smug, nor even as sarcasm. I always found it quite honest: it's a cutting recognition of privilege, that both the pop stars singing the song and the audience hearing it are lucky by birth.)
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 11:48 AM on November 18, 2014 [16 favorites]


apparently if you have any reservations about the song or how the money was spent you like to kill babies

signs of impending end of year holiday season on metafilter: everything is more terrible than ever before
posted by poffin boffin at 11:48 AM on November 18, 2014 [9 favorites]


It is pretty clearly sarcasm, I think; but that is almost worse to me...The same type of sarcasm is on display in "Do They Know That It's Christmas?" – the cool sarcasm that hints directly that anybody who doesn't happen to be the person singing the song is complicit in something terrible.

I suppose when you're begging rich people to part with a few pennies to help starving children, one must be polite and respectful and not make any suggestion that they might be ignorant and self-absorbed.

Or are you saying the criticism should've been direct instead of sarcastic? That Geldof should have instead recorded a track titled, "Why The Fuck Do I Have To Sing A Stupid Song to Get You To Care About Kids Starving In Ethiopia?"
posted by straight at 11:52 AM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


"Easy," the vile, sickening Midge Ure slavered in Bob's ear. "That's the sweetest cherry of all. We'll sing the chorus. I'll do the first one and you can have the rest." He licked his lips in a disgusting manner then rubbed his hands on his greasy lapels.
Band Aid: Behind the Truth. By Dale Shaw (formerly of UK Riot Grrrl era band Blood Sausage, best known for the song Fuck You and your Underground) and sort of a bonus track to his book parodying Letters of Note titled Letters of Not.
posted by larrybob at 11:58 AM on November 18, 2014


we had a deal kyle - I unashamedly love this song -- at least in its original version.

this. your whole comment is my sentiment exactly. i'm definitely not a cynic, but i like to feel that i apply the right amount of skepticism, and this whole topic makes it thru the filter pretty cleanly. yes, plenty rough around the edges, but the "doing something when so many are doing nothing" is what does it for me.
posted by rude.boy at 11:59 AM on November 18, 2014


Given that there are non-offensive interpretations for most of the lines people think are offensive, and given that there's no reason to believe that Geldof is a proseletyzing Christian who thinks Ethiopians aren't Christian and that he's actually happy that they're the ones suffering (instead of him), doesn't it make sense to assume the non-offensive interpretations are the intended ones?

I can see a possible point about the whole endeavour having a white man's burden sort of tone to them, but the lyrics are pop song pablum and no more.

I was 8 when the song came out. It has never crossed my mind that "Do they know it's Christmas" means they weren't Christian or that there problems were caused by non-Christianity or would be solved by being Christian. My understanding was "will they even notice it's christmastime when they're so busy trying not to die. How can it possibly feel like Christmas when you're watching your infant die?"

The line isn't "Do they know what Christmas is?" "Do they know when Christmas is?" it's "Do they know it's Christmas?" as in are they aware of that at this moment.

Let me make other Christmas song related confessions right now, since this will inevitably come out eventually:

Not only do I not mind this song. But...I cry every time I hear The Christmas Shoes. It's a terrible song. I don't like it. I burst into tears whenever I hear it. It's so sad! I know I"m being manipulated, but I just can't help it.

Also, I like the Huron Carol with its original English lyrics. Now those really are weird and offensive, but I like the song nonetheless, and the less offensive lyrics that are the proper translation from the Huron and the French, I don't really like. I suppose I've lost all credibility on Do They Know It's Christmas with that admission.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 12:04 PM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


Surely the title question, "Do They Know it's Christmas?" is calling out the kind of provincial ignorance that would ask such a thing.

Fuck no.

The one message that song has is give us the fucking money, people are starving.

Only an American would think Christmas here has anything to do with Christianity, because obviously it's about you know, being happy and cozy with your family at Christmas, safe and well fed and on the other side of the world people are starving.

Hence "thank god tonight it's them instead of you".

And of course it would be fucking Bono who would change the one line with any self awareness into just another smug platitude.
posted by MartinWisse at 12:06 PM on November 18, 2014 [8 favorites]


me: “It is pretty clearly sarcasm, I think; but that is almost worse to me...The same type of sarcasm is on display in ‘Do They Know That It's Christmas?’ – the cool sarcasm that hints directly that anybody who doesn't happen to be the person singing the song is complicit in something terrible.”

straight: “I suppose when you're begging rich people to part with a few pennies to help starving children, one must be polite and respectful and not make any suggestion that they might be ignorant and self-absorbed.”

I wasn't saying he ought to be nice. I was pointing out his self-righteousness: "anybody who doesn't happen to be the person singing the song is complicit in something terrible." I was suggesting that maybe the writer or singer himself might allow a bit of self-criticism to creep in.

My perspective on this might have a tiny bit to do with the fact that Bob Geldof has steadily become obscenely wealthy over the past thirty years, and is in the habit of demanding that governments increase foreign aid whilst doing everything he can to reduce his own tax burden. The amounts raised by "Do They Know?" and the early Live Aid benefits is mere pocket change to a guy who can demand $100,000 as a speaking fee to give an inspiring talk about poverty.
posted by koeselitz at 12:21 PM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


Well, I'm just relieved I have all of you to take care of this for me. I was afraid I'd accidentally enjoy the sentiment of the song. You might remember it: Christmas in that part of Africa isn't going to be about being thankful and full and loads of presents. It's not Christmas like you're familiar with it personally. None of the imagery of snow and sleighs and stuff like that. And you should get off your comfortable duffs and do something to improve — even a little — the lives of some of those folks.

The song was aimed at the comfortable, not the afflicted. For all the negligible lyrical missteps, nit-picking them isn't really helping.

But, no, please, keep going. I insist.
posted by grubi at 12:22 PM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


I was afraid I'd accidentally enjoy the sentiment of the song.

you have been here long enough to know that this is simply not allowed, citizen grubi
posted by poffin boffin at 12:23 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


i'm actually shocked that there are so many people defending it :)
posted by bitteroldman at 12:30 PM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


people get hella territorial about nostalgia.
posted by poffin boffin at 12:33 PM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


Guys I'm pretty sure Christmas is All Around Us.
posted by craven_morhead at 12:33 PM on November 18, 2014 [4 favorites]


Thank you for this post! I might have otherwise forgotten that today is the day for my weekly singing of Do They Know It's Taco Tuesday?
posted by Parasite Unseen at 12:33 PM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


I was shocked that anyone thinks the glurgey "We Are The World" is a better song. So there's that.
posted by We had a deal, Kyle at 12:34 PM on November 18, 2014 [8 favorites]


It doesn't matter what Geldof himself intended. Once he writes the song, publicizes it, puts it into circulation, and uses it to define both his identity and, to a great extent, the Western European/North American position as saviors of the Ethiopians, the lyrics take all all sort of meaning that go beyond authorial intent. As such, they're open to various criticisms, including those that argue the song promulgates ideas about "Africa" that are often ignorant and paternalistic. We could argue all day about what Geldof really meant to say about what "knowing Christmas," and I agree with the position that his intent was good. But that song has a life far beyond him, and 30 years later, it's ok to feel uncomfortable with lyrics that suggest -to many people, not to just a few anti-Geldof, pro-infanticide Scrooges - that all of Africa is a desert, and that we know more than they do.
posted by bibliowench at 12:40 PM on November 18, 2014 [9 favorites]




I prefer We Are the World too. I think it had horrible schmaltzy production but it also had Bob Dylan giving it his all.
posted by colie at 12:46 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


I think it had horrible schmaltzy production but it also had Bob Dylan giving it his all.

Actually, about that....it seems Stevie Wonder actually had to coach him in...well, being Bob Dylan.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:48 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


That video is amazing. But yeah I think Bob struggles because he wants to do a good job.
posted by colie at 12:56 PM on November 18, 2014


Look- when it comes to helping people in need, regardless of the season, don't you know that Tears Are Not Enough?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:58 PM on November 18, 2014


> it's pretty clear who is on the side of the angels here.

Ah see what you did there, yoink. Well played.
posted by jfuller at 1:00 PM on November 18, 2014


Okay, you can make me dislike the song if you want, but I'm not giving up my lust for Bob Geldof's beautiful puppy-dog eyes.
posted by JanetLand at 1:00 PM on November 18, 2014


Look- when it comes to helping people in need, regardless of the season, don't you know that Tears Are Not Enough ?

We call this the "Oh, X is Canadian?" song.
posted by bibliowench at 1:04 PM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


Well, as actual songwriting goes, I always kinda felt that Canada's "Tears Are Not Enough" was probably the best.

(on preview - TheWhiteSkull just beat me to it.)

Anyway, I'm pretty solidly with We Had a Deal Kyle that I'm a huge fan - of the original, that is - largely for an era it helped initiate where pop music opened up the world of political activism, from Band Aid to Live Aid, to anti-apartheid concerts, to Amnesty International's "Conspiracy of Hope" tour. (I remember a Simple Minds concert where the audience were handed postcards to sign and mail as part of Amnesty prisoner of conscience campaigns.)

You also have to keep in mind the sheer wow factor of seeing so many favorite singers show up in the same song. (Boy George! Duran Duran! Paul Young! Bananarama!) A few lyrical clunkers get overlooked in the squee-ing process. I would agree, though, that remakes are not the best idea and it's probably time someone wrote a new song to fit the current situation.
posted by dnash at 1:05 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


> it's ok to feel uncomfortable with lyrics that suggest -to many people, not to just a few
> anti-Geldof, pro-infanticide Scrooges - that all of Africa is a desert, and that we know more than
> they do.

But no one on the planet over the age of three thinks all of Africa is a desert, so the suggestion is not a high priority problem. Hey, I've got a lyric in progress here that could be read as suggesting (to the very suggestable) that trees all over SE Asia are eager participants in #gamergate.
posted by jfuller at 1:07 PM on November 18, 2014


But no one on the planet over the age of three thinks all of Africa is a desert

I feel like you are vastly overestimating the average intelligence of, at the very least, all of the US.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:09 PM on November 18, 2014 [10 favorites]


Get over yourselves and be a bit more forgiving. Dead babies are not an idle topic for trolling.
Oh, yeah? Alice Cooper would beg to differ.
posted by starbreaker at 1:31 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


dnash: “Anyway, I'm pretty solidly with We Had a Deal Kyle that I'm a huge fan - of the original, that is - largely for an era it helped initiate where pop music opened up the world of political activism, from Band Aid to Live Aid, to anti-apartheid concerts, to Amnesty International's ‘Conspiracy of Hope’ tour. (I remember a Simple Minds concert where the audience were handed postcards to sign and mail as part of Amnesty prisoner of conscience campaigns.)”

See, this I can understand and appreciate. It's a nostalgia thing, and it has its place. I get irked when people make it sound like I'm a terrible person for disliking the song – and Geldof – but I don't mind that some people really do just like the tune and the moment it seems to represent, at least as a time in history.
posted by koeselitz at 1:33 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


I've always felt Mr. Garrison did the best job of articulating that song's message. (NSFW)
posted by Shmuel510 at 1:33 PM on November 18, 2014 [3 favorites]


One of the reasons I have a hard time stomaching this round of Band Aid is the sheer amount of people involved who are also actively involved in tax-dodging. Speaking about poverty and Ebola feels somewhat insincere from a multi-millionaire who has millions upon millions stuffed off-shore in a deliberate attempt not to pay tax in his main home of residence.

Also, why do people rarely mention Band Aid II? Is it because Kylie's the only performer to emerge from that mess with any form of dignity?
posted by kariebookish at 1:35 PM on November 18, 2014 [6 favorites]


I will admit that "Do They Know It's Christmas?" is a VERY catchy tune and that "We Are The World" is so schmaltzy that it makes me ill. The latter is at least earnest. The former is offensive in its cluelessness. That it is the catchier tune just reinforces the adage that bad things are frequently attractive.
posted by deanc at 2:31 PM on November 18, 2014


That interpretation is literally in the title! The implication of "Do they know it's Christmas" being "their lives would be better if they knew it was Christmas".

I thought the line was meant to basically shame Christians into giving to the truly needy. "They" being relatively wealthy and comfortable Western Christians.
posted by Hoopo at 3:24 PM on November 18, 2014


Raising money is a good thing that's not immune to criticism, and I don't have any prior personal knowledge or preference for the linked song, but

I hate that song, but I hate just about every extant Christmas song. I can't even tolerate the Trans-Siberian Orchestra until the 21st of December.

I'm not sure how people would react to my singing of Christmas songs in July
posted by halifix at 3:24 PM on November 18, 2014


I suppose the other song deserving mention in a Band-Aid post is Pulp's Bad Cover Version, where the video is presented as a Band-Aid style group recording of a bad cover version of the song, with the group made up of celebrity impersonators of various levels of quality.
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 3:47 PM on November 18, 2014


It's my first time hearing this song but it's self-regarding beyond belief. Maybe that's what gets people to open their wallets when they don't personally know the people getting the aid, but this whole idea that Ethiopians/Africans are ONLY suffering and starving while waiting for your donation isn't just tacky, it's actively harmful.
posted by subdee at 4:57 PM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


The original version had some of the biggest stars in pop at the time. Does the new one? I am old and don't know who any of the new people are.
posted by kirkaracha at 5:00 PM on November 18, 2014


Even as a young child hearing the song for the first time, it was clear that the "bone-headed" lyric was just very biting sarcasm.

Yes, that was one of the song's better lines. Pity.

Is it smug or not? Do you like it or not? Did the artists act altruistically or not? Is Bob Geldof the worst person ever or not?

All irrelevant. The only question of relevance is did Band Aid and Live Aid raise millions and save many lives? Yes they did.


A chicken dinner for you! Yeah, it's like, "what you got that's worked BETTER?"
posted by mrgrimm at 5:10 PM on November 18, 2014


I like the song, and I'll take the original bonehead lyrics please.

But "Hands Across Your Face" is still the best celebrity charity thingamabob ever.
posted by spilon at 6:20 PM on November 18, 2014


Christmas day, roller blades, Robin laid an egg
posted by Flunkie at 6:37 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


I thought the line was meant to basically shame Christians into giving to the truly needy. "They" being relatively wealthy and comfortable Western Christians.

Huh - honestly, that never occurred to me. I was a kid when the song came out and always heard the "they" as the starving Ethiopians, and thought it was condescending and culturally self-centric - like, do they freaking care if it's Christmas? I mean, they know if they celebrate it and they don't care otherwise, but really, they have bigger issues at the moment, don't they? But then, I was brought up in a secular, politically active environment.

And, again, when the song came out ... absolutely nobody thought that the song was about proselytizing to the godless heathen. Nobody. ... No, this was simply an appeal (a highly effective appeal) to a cultural association between the Christmas season and "doing good."

Well, some people did hear that association as presumptive and somewhat unsympathetic.
posted by mdn at 6:39 PM on November 18, 2014


1
posted by p3t3 at 8:33 PM on November 18, 2014


I'mma gonna point out, as was alluded to above, that the aid money did feed some people, but also paid for a shit-ton of guns and political stability for the Derg, who were an incredibly murderous regime. If you go to Addis, you can check out the Red Terror museum, which has a room filled with the actual bones of people executed by the Derg. People streamed out of Ethiopia as fast as they could, and many, many others just disappeared. Some of the Live Aid money went to forced resettlement programs, basically taking dissidents in the north, and sending them to random places to farm in the South as a way to keep them from collaborating; differences in agriculture and lack of resources meant that many of these displaced people starved, too. The Derg probably weren't quite as bad as the Khmer Rouge, but they sure as hell tried. And they managed to stick around from '74 to '87, compared with the Khmer Rouge's four years...

Aid isn't apolitical, and it really can't be: it's a big international vote in favor of the shitty, shitty status quo.
posted by kaibutsu at 10:14 PM on November 18, 2014 [2 favorites]


Yes We Know It's Christmas
posted by divabat at 10:55 PM on November 18, 2014 [1 favorite]


2 posts up - Android mishap; sorry about that.

But now that I'm here, ... I was about 8 years old when the original came out, but I surprisingly managed to elude it, at least from memory, until adulthood. So while I have nostalgic fondness for We Are The World, this one just sounds awful to my ears.

Christmas music requires either seriousVince Guaraldi-style classing up, or going old school traditional. But anything else is a recipe for garbage.
posted by p3t3 at 11:54 PM on November 18, 2014




mrgrimm: "Yeah, it's like, 'what you got that's worked BETTER?'"

How's about just staying home and not giving millions to dictators and thugs? That works a lot better.
posted by koeselitz at 12:15 AM on November 19, 2014


"Saying no to Bob Geldof is one of the hardest decisions I have had to make this year. However, seeing what looked like the corpse of an African woman being carried out of her home on primetime TV when the video was premiered on X Factor crystallised my concerns about this strategy to combat the Ebola crisis. For me it is ultimately flawed... I pointed out to Geldof the lyrics I did not agree with, such as the lines 'Where a kiss of love can kill you and there's death in every tear', and 'There is no peace and joy in west Africa this Christmas'. For the past four years I have gone to Ghana at Christmas for the sole purpose of peace and joy. So for me to sing these lyrics would simply be a lie."
posted by koeselitz at 1:48 PM on November 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


Band aid = bands raising money for aid. (Not aids because we only barely knew about that then). Back in the 80s, when we wore onions on our belt, it was like - oh hey cute - they've got the band and the aid thing together, and it's band aid which is something you use when you're hurt and it's good for you (because, it was kind of cute back in the 80s, you don't believe, just look at the music videos - all those kids were virgins). Now, we're dry and cynical and yup, a band aid is now and probably was a little bit then a pretty useless solution for a suddenly and unexpectedly blown off leg.

Christianity (in Ethiopa, the song, our minds). I was a confused agnostic back in the day, very unsophisticated (80s, remember) and even I thought it was a - well, if only they worshipped the one true god, we wouldn't have to be raising money singing for them between the lines message. I thought that was a bit mean. But hey, free money. And Ethiopia? That's the place people make bad taste jokes about dieting about. So, like they really need it.

St Frumentius sounded interesting, so I looked at the Wikipedia link, and my both disgustingly and amusingly well-informed offspring said "Oh, so that's why they're orthodox!" which made me laugh, mostly because I had no idea what he was talking about, or that it was something he'd ever considered.

But the Flight of the Conchords. Yeah. That was gold.

Nothing is simple. Nothing is black or white. While the song makes very little sense to me, I applaud the efforts of the very wealthy to try to make a difference.
posted by b33j at 8:01 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Traditional Christmas music has the benefit of mostly dodging Sturgeon's Law - most of the crap has had enough time to be forgotten. Stuff that works come few and far between. I think the only truly great Christmas songs to come out in the past forty years might be Fairytale of New York and Christmas in Hollis, neither of which sound traditional or a la Guaraldi.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:18 PM on November 19, 2014


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