Tactical Duty Kilt
November 19, 2014 11:13 AM   Subscribe

 
"6.14oz polyester", because 3 digits of precision are necessary when you're buying clothing.

And they could have done a take or two more so that poor model didn't look so shakey on the "run along the top of the railing" bit of that parkour sequence...
posted by straw at 11:25 AM on November 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


5.11 and the Dropkicks? Whodathunkit.
posted by Seamus at 11:32 AM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


It took me an absurdly long time to figure out what 'tactical' meant in contexts like this, so for those who are similarly confused: It appears to mean that it has some stuff on it, but it's OK for dudes anyway.
posted by ernielundquist at 11:32 AM on November 19, 2014 [6 favorites]


So after blogging about Outlander and podcasting about the same with my wife, we dressed up in Highland styles for Halloween. I bought a kilt off Amazon and after years of rolling my eyes at those UtiliKilt dudes, goddamn if they don't have a point. The kilt was super comfy after a long day of work. I'm now only half jokingly asking for a kilt like this for Christmas, a sort of fancy pair of sweatpants.

To see that there are varieties that won't get in the way of my weekend counterterrorism/bar nut eating, so much the better.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 11:32 AM on November 19, 2014 [8 favorites]


Whoever made this video must have taken a lesson at Cold Steel.
posted by Seamus at 11:33 AM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


More like "Tacticool", amirite ?
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 11:34 AM on November 19, 2014 [5 favorites]


Nice job posing KiltGuy in front of that fountain at the end!
posted by shiny blue object at 11:35 AM on November 19, 2014


It took me an absurdly long time to figure out what 'tactical' meant in contexts like this,

As Pogo_F notes, spelling it correctly as "tacticool" helps communicate the specific meaning of the term.
posted by Dip Flash at 11:35 AM on November 19, 2014 [3 favorites]


It reminds me of the product I once saw in a catalog. Inexplicably, the camouflage roller skates didn't become a trend...
posted by Kirth Gerson at 11:44 AM on November 19, 2014


It doesn't have enough MOLLE, like the TRU-XTREME MOLLE XTreme Tactical Response Unit Extreme Tactical Response Uniform.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 12:02 PM on November 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


It reminds me of that famous number from SNL to paraphrase,"Richard in a box." Rugged out back adventuring is not for everyone. Room for a healthy, respectful jar of your goo du jour.
posted by Oyéah at 12:03 PM on November 19, 2014


He's wearing underpants.
posted by BinaryApe at 12:09 PM on November 19, 2014


They might be tactical underpants, though.
posted by BinaryApe at 12:09 PM on November 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


Apparently tactical underwear is the worn thing with such a kilt.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 12:11 PM on November 19, 2014


Bah! Timing.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 12:11 PM on November 19, 2014


They reference the tactical underpants in the video.
Really.

(I am always amazed at how "UnderArmor" went from being something to wear under your armor to something seven year-olds brag about in the dugout.)
posted by Seamus at 12:12 PM on November 19, 2014


(I am always amazed at how "UnderArmor" went from being something to wear under your armor to something seven year-olds brag about in the dugout.)

The New Yorker had an interesting article about their efforts to go even more mainstream than they already are.
posted by Dip Flash at 12:21 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Running around being all tactical and shit, how does one keep that front bag from bashing the family jewels into a mush?
posted by exogenous at 12:23 PM on November 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


Have a big dong.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:26 PM on November 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


ALSO, POCKETS ENOUGH TO HOLD AN AMMO CLIP
posted by robocop is bleeding at 12:36 PM on November 19, 2014


Sure, that's very fetching, but I'm trying to imagine the concrete burns you'd get parkouring around town in a kilt. And yes, that bag in the front seems...problematic. Sure, it beats a tactical chainmail bikini, but I that's just setting the bar too low.
posted by Edgewise at 1:01 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


"5.11 sports boxer briefs are also available separately, but not required."

So the under-the-kilt mystery lives on.
posted by workerant at 1:18 PM on November 19, 2014


Doesn't tactical just mean "military"? They showed that their pockets are sized to fit ammo cartridges.
posted by macrael at 1:38 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Doesn't tactical just mean "military"? They showed that their pockets are sized to fit ammo cartridges.


In most contexts now, it means "pretend military."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 1:38 PM on November 19, 2014 [19 favorites]


Urban tactical gear is the preferred clothing of bros who are sick of cat-calls and casual harassment as they stroll around town. Undies are available, but NOT NECESSARY.
posted by OHenryPacey at 1:51 PM on November 19, 2014


It looks less impressive than the ubiquitous (well, okay, that's not the right word) Utilikilt.
posted by el io at 2:01 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


"It's not a fanny pack, it's a TACTICAL SPORRAN!"
posted by kandinski at 2:16 PM on November 19, 2014 [4 favorites]


Moooom! It's not a skirt and purse! It's TACTICAL!
posted by lumpenprole at 2:17 PM on November 19, 2014 [8 favorites]


Well, I'm not so sure about tactical, but yes indeed it's rather fetching.

However, if I ever womanage to get Mr. Too-Ticky into any kind of kilt, this one is the most likely candidate.

Ooh baby, work that kilt. And when I say work, I mean work. Not play.
posted by Too-Ticky at 2:20 PM on November 19, 2014


They claim the sports boxer briefs are not required, but yes... yes they are. Nobody ever wants an eyeful of your sausage & biscuits as you parkour your way to the bus stop.
posted by Mary Ellen Carter at 2:21 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


TAKE THAT 5.10! ONE LOUDER!
posted by alex_skazat at 2:34 PM on November 19, 2014


> Nobody ever wants an eyeful of your sausage & biscuits

Man why would you even write something like that
posted by wires at 3:34 PM on November 19, 2014 [7 favorites]


the Kilty Monroe (per wires' link) is gonna be the name of my next band!
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:43 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


Needs parkour-with-claymore. And a suit of armor filled with ham.
posted by ransom_k_fern at 3:58 PM on November 19, 2014


So anyways I said to the Bishop, "Darling it's a lovely frock but your purse is on fire."
posted by angerbot at 5:11 PM on November 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


> Undies are available, but NOT NECESSARY.

In the most tactical of tactical circles they call it "going commando".
posted by Poldo at 5:28 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


They had to have a kickstarter to make this a reality? Does no one remember Utilikilts exists?
posted by Nanukthedog at 6:45 PM on November 19, 2014 [1 favorite]


So basically a Utilikilt, but Tactical!

What need are they really filling here? I tried making a Venn diagram of "guys who feel the need to carry 2 30-round AR magazines and 3 pistol magazines" and "guys who are willing to be seen in a kilt" but I'm having a hard time getting the circles to touch.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 7:46 PM on November 19, 2014 [2 favorites]


What need are they really filling here? I tried making a Venn diagram of "guys who feel the need to carry 2 30-round AR magazines and 3 pistol magazines" and "guys who are willing to be seen in a kilt" but I'm having a hard time getting the circles to touch.

Here is where those circles may intersect.
posted by Zedcaster at 8:58 PM on November 19, 2014


What need are they really filling here? I tried making a Venn diagram of "guys who feel the need to carry 2 30-round AR magazines and 3 pistol magazines" and "guys who are willing to be seen in a kilt" but I'm having a hard time getting the circles to touch.

A 30-round magazine is a lot heavier than Hollywood would make you think, you probably need to add a couple more circles in the diagram, for "guys who wear suspenders" or "guys who don't mind hitching their kilt up to cover their ass all the time".
posted by Dr Dracator at 1:09 AM on November 20, 2014


Oddly, the first YouTube comment is actually rather sensible, "if its not tartan, its a skirt". And surely in this context tactical means "will appeal to poseurs who don't understand what tactical means".
posted by epo at 2:15 AM on November 20, 2014 [1 favorite]


A 30-round magazine is a lot heavier than Hollywood would make you think, you probably need to add a couple more circles in the diagram, for "guys who wear suspenders" or "guys who don't mind hitching their kilt up to cover their ass all the time".

Tactical "Operators" belt, yo!
posted by Seamus at 10:14 AM on November 20, 2014


Tactical "Operators" belt, yo!

On that note, who is going to where a tactical kilt and not have a belt made out of 14 miles of paracord in case of emergencies.
posted by DynamiteToast at 11:25 AM on November 20, 2014 [2 favorites]


It looked like those tactical pockets -- at the same height as in mumble pockets for consistency in training -- are held on with Velcro, which is unwise.

I'm amused that they went to slo-mo for the upskirt shot.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:29 AM on November 21, 2014


You know, the more I think about this, the more it enrages me. I feel like it, and it's only slightly less enraging cousin the Utilikilt, is like the pink staplers or whatever for girls. Like, you want to wear a dress? Wear a dress. I'm all for it, I've done it on occassion myself. You want to make that dress out of weirdly thickness-fetishized materials? Okay, I guess.

But renaming, and then adding 'tactical' is just so much "gah, don't feminize me" horseshit. Wear a dress. Be proud of it. This tactical/scottish/whatever syndrome is just so much fig leaf.
posted by lumpenprole at 2:41 PM on November 21, 2014


It's a skirt, not a dress. And it's a type of skirt called a kilt.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:23 PM on November 21, 2014


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