a "disjoined, incoherent stream of historical tidbits."
November 20, 2014 1:03 PM Subscribe
This would not make Chipotle the first major American chain restaurant to decorate with death iconography from another culture (that distinction may go to P.F. Chang's, with their terracotta soldiers), but I'm of the opinion "death by burrito" should be about portion size, and not about inadvertently invoking the wrath of an ancient deity.So it turns out those "Mayan" glyphs at Chipotle restaurants are indeed of Mayan origin, explains Taylor Jones in Slate. (Via Languagehat)
Somebody should write a short story in the American Gods mythos about the Mayan gods holding court at a downtown burrito joint. They could be those customers who wander in at opening time, order a burrito and a fountain drink, and just hang out all day using the Wi-Fi until close.
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:28 PM on November 20, 2014 [14 favorites]
posted by Strange Interlude at 1:28 PM on November 20, 2014 [14 favorites]
Welcome to postmodernity, Slate.
posted by aught at 1:30 PM on November 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by aught at 1:30 PM on November 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
literally all i want out of life for every possible media product is an american gods crossover
posted by poffin boffin at 1:32 PM on November 20, 2014 [12 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 1:32 PM on November 20, 2014 [12 favorites]
For some reason it's bringing to mind that after-credits scene in The Avengers where Thor & Co are eating shwerma.
posted by small_ruminant at 1:34 PM on November 20, 2014
posted by small_ruminant at 1:34 PM on November 20, 2014
"Chipotle: so good, you'll vomit bees and decapitate yourself!"
Chipotle: so good you'll cut out your own heart and eat it while it's still beating.
posted by fuse theorem at 1:39 PM on November 20, 2014 [7 favorites]
Chipotle: so good you'll cut out your own heart and eat it while it's still beating.
posted by fuse theorem at 1:39 PM on November 20, 2014 [7 favorites]
THE CHIPOTLE SECRET MENU
Burritodilla
Quesarito
Still-beating heartchos
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:44 PM on November 20, 2014 [14 favorites]
Burritodilla
Quesarito
Still-beating heartchos
posted by prize bull octorok at 1:44 PM on November 20, 2014 [14 favorites]
...oh, it's really too on-the-nose, isn't it? Fine.
Metafilter: a disjoined, incoherent stream of historical tidbits
posted by Four Ds at 1:55 PM on November 20, 2014 [7 favorites]
Metafilter: a disjoined, incoherent stream of historical tidbits
posted by Four Ds at 1:55 PM on November 20, 2014 [7 favorites]
chipotle: a divine winged serpent burns within you from regret
posted by poffin boffin at 1:57 PM on November 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by poffin boffin at 1:57 PM on November 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
This goes a long way toward explaining why my experiences eating there are always accompanied by the sounds of mountains crashing together, a wind that blows flesh-scraping knives, and a river of blood filled with ferocious jaguars.
And, no, I'm not talking about the hazardous four-year journey to the Mictlan underworld. I'm talking about 15 minutes in my bathroom the morning afterward.
posted by maxsparber at 2:01 PM on November 20, 2014 [9 favorites]
And, no, I'm not talking about the hazardous four-year journey to the Mictlan underworld. I'm talking about 15 minutes in my bathroom the morning afterward.
posted by maxsparber at 2:01 PM on November 20, 2014 [9 favorites]
The still-beating hearts were more of an Aztec thing.
The Maya were more into painting people blue, binding their hands and feet, and throwing them into wells.
posted by chrchr at 2:03 PM on November 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
The Maya were more into painting people blue, binding their hands and feet, and throwing them into wells.
posted by chrchr at 2:03 PM on November 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
So what?
This isn't any worse than much of the English that I've seen on Japanese T-shirts. And the purpose is pretty much the same: It's just supposed to look kinda cool, there's no actual meaning behind it.
posted by sour cream at 2:05 PM on November 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
This isn't any worse than much of the English that I've seen on Japanese T-shirts. And the purpose is pretty much the same: It's just supposed to look kinda cool, there's no actual meaning behind it.
posted by sour cream at 2:05 PM on November 20, 2014 [1 favorite]
Actually, I feel like Aztec iconography would be more appropriate, considering that tacos are more of a northern Mexican food. I think a marigold motif wold be especially striking, and it's my understanding that Mictlantecuhtli makes a mean al pastor.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:08 PM on November 20, 2014
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:08 PM on November 20, 2014
Also-
Chipotle: It won't hurt quite as bad as piercing your foreskin with a stingray spine.
Chipotle: Not exactly a ritual enema, but you get the picture.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:12 PM on November 20, 2014
Chipotle: It won't hurt quite as bad as piercing your foreskin with a stingray spine.
Chipotle: Not exactly a ritual enema, but you get the picture.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:12 PM on November 20, 2014
I'm talking about 15 minutes in my bathroom the morning afterward.
What kind of exotic burrito are you eating? Or do you normally have a problem with rice, beans, chicken, tomatoes, etc.? I never understood this meme about Mexican food, especially "Mexican" food consisting of all the normal ingredients that you'll encounter in non-Mexican foods.
posted by Edgewise at 2:13 PM on November 20, 2014 [24 favorites]
What kind of exotic burrito are you eating? Or do you normally have a problem with rice, beans, chicken, tomatoes, etc.? I never understood this meme about Mexican food, especially "Mexican" food consisting of all the normal ingredients that you'll encounter in non-Mexican foods.
posted by Edgewise at 2:13 PM on November 20, 2014 [24 favorites]
No mention of South American pre-Columbian culture is complete without a reference to Jaguar-Paw's Wager:
"Pascal's Wager leads us to Jaguar-Paw's Wager. Jaguar-Paw, the Aztec philosopher, postulated that even though we can't prove that Tezcatlipoca exists, you might as well sacrifice human hearts to him just in case he does." - lukelightning, Fark
posted by IAmBroom at 2:16 PM on November 20, 2014 [11 favorites]
"Pascal's Wager leads us to Jaguar-Paw's Wager. Jaguar-Paw, the Aztec philosopher, postulated that even though we can't prove that Tezcatlipoca exists, you might as well sacrifice human hearts to him just in case he does." - lukelightning, Fark
posted by IAmBroom at 2:16 PM on November 20, 2014 [11 favorites]
Somebody should write a short story in the American Gods mythos about the Mayan gods holding court at a downtown burrito joint.
There are millions of actual mayans in central America, that still speak mayan, and many of them still worship mayan gods and practice ancient Mayan rituals.
In many cases, their families have lived in the same place for a thousand years. If the Mayan gods are hanging out anywhere, they're still where they were born.
posted by empath at 2:16 PM on November 20, 2014 [10 favorites]
There are millions of actual mayans in central America, that still speak mayan, and many of them still worship mayan gods and practice ancient Mayan rituals.
In many cases, their families have lived in the same place for a thousand years. If the Mayan gods are hanging out anywhere, they're still where they were born.
posted by empath at 2:16 PM on November 20, 2014 [10 favorites]
Subway, feeling the heat, puts Linear A inscriptions on its cups and sandwich wrappers. McDonald's, realizing their market share is slipping, plasters their walls with poster-size reproductions of pages from the Voynich manuscript. Not to be outdone, Wendy's changes their logo to be written in Elder Futhark.
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:18 PM on November 20, 2014 [21 favorites]
posted by prize bull octorok at 2:18 PM on November 20, 2014 [21 favorites]
never understood this meme about Mexican food, especially "Mexican" food consisting of all the normal ingredients that you'll encounter in non-Mexican foods.
Some people don't handle beans well and there's also the association with traveler's diarrhea/montezuma's revenge. I thought it was exaggerated, but I spent a few days running to the bathroom my first week in Guatemala. It was not a fun experience.
posted by empath at 2:19 PM on November 20, 2014 [2 favorites]
Some people don't handle beans well and there's also the association with traveler's diarrhea/montezuma's revenge. I thought it was exaggerated, but I spent a few days running to the bathroom my first week in Guatemala. It was not a fun experience.
posted by empath at 2:19 PM on November 20, 2014 [2 favorites]
Not to be outdone, Wendy's changes their logo to be written in Elder Futhark.
Considering that White Castles originated as offerings to some nameless eldritch horror, worshiped in cyclopean temples that were pulled down ten thousand years before the birth of Christ (and could easily be described as both squamous and rugose), I think most other QSRs really need to step up their game.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:25 PM on November 20, 2014 [9 favorites]
Considering that White Castles originated as offerings to some nameless eldritch horror, worshiped in cyclopean temples that were pulled down ten thousand years before the birth of Christ (and could easily be described as both squamous and rugose), I think most other QSRs really need to step up their game.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 2:25 PM on November 20, 2014 [9 favorites]
Subway, feeling the heat, puts Linear A inscriptions on its cups and sandwich wrappers. McDonald's, realizing their market share is slipping, plasters their walls with poster-size reproductions of pages from the Voynich manuscript. Not to be outdone, Wendy's changes their logo to be written in Elder Futhark.
this is my yuletide request, 5k min, thx
posted by poffin boffin at 2:38 PM on November 20, 2014 [2 favorites]
this is my yuletide request, 5k min, thx
posted by poffin boffin at 2:38 PM on November 20, 2014 [2 favorites]
What kind of exotic burrito are you eating? [...] I never understood this meme about Mexican food
On the one hand: I also feel like the stupid, exoticizing insults to Mexican food have long overstayed its welcome. On the other: the only time I've ever gotten food poisoning was from a Chipotle in Washington, DC, so fuck it.
posted by psoas at 2:46 PM on November 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
On the one hand: I also feel like the stupid, exoticizing insults to Mexican food have long overstayed its welcome. On the other: the only time I've ever gotten food poisoning was from a Chipotle in Washington, DC, so fuck it.
posted by psoas at 2:46 PM on November 20, 2014 [4 favorites]
Considering that White Castles originated as offerings to some nameless eldritch horror, worshiped in cyclopean temples that were pulled down ten thousand years before the birth of Christ...
Explains the non-Euclidean sliders.
posted by brundlefly at 3:53 PM on November 20, 2014 [2 favorites]
Explains the non-Euclidean sliders.
posted by brundlefly at 3:53 PM on November 20, 2014 [2 favorites]
I can see how a huge portion of beans, cheese, and sour cream and meat produced in a high output restaurant setting could give people stomach upset. Then again most restaurant produced food is quite capable of giving people stomach problems.
posted by Ferreous at 4:20 PM on November 20, 2014
posted by Ferreous at 4:20 PM on November 20, 2014
Especially if the beans weren't soaked then cooked in a fresh change of water to reduce the indigestible carbohydrates.
posted by Ferreous at 4:28 PM on November 20, 2014
posted by Ferreous at 4:28 PM on November 20, 2014
maybe it has something to do with the fact that a Chipotle burrito is like three pounds of food
posted by threeants at 4:28 PM on November 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by threeants at 4:28 PM on November 20, 2014 [3 favorites]
psoas, that is mystifying! I have been eating Chipotle in Washington DC at least monthly and sometimes closer to weekly for about as long as there have been Chipotles here, to no ill effect. Although these days I just get two soft tacos because I can't finish a burrito in one sitting anymore.
posted by nonasuch at 9:23 PM on November 20, 2014
posted by nonasuch at 9:23 PM on November 20, 2014
In many cases, their families have lived in the same place for a thousand years. If the Mayan gods are hanging out anywhere, they're still where they were born.
Just for the sake of argument, American Gods features Hindu, Norse and African deities who explicitly refer to the fact that they are American versions of deities who still exist in their "home" regions. They're just the copies brought over by immigrants. So yeah, I could see something entertaining being done with what happens to a Mayan deity brought to the USA by Guatamalan immigrants and who then adapts to the new environment.
posted by AdamCSnider at 3:00 AM on November 21, 2014 [3 favorites]
Just for the sake of argument, American Gods features Hindu, Norse and African deities who explicitly refer to the fact that they are American versions of deities who still exist in their "home" regions. They're just the copies brought over by immigrants. So yeah, I could see something entertaining being done with what happens to a Mayan deity brought to the USA by Guatamalan immigrants and who then adapts to the new environment.
posted by AdamCSnider at 3:00 AM on November 21, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'm of the opinion "death by burrito" should be about portion size, and not about inadvertently invoking the wrath of an ancient deity.
I'm of the opinion, why not both. It's time to demand more.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:35 AM on November 21, 2014 [6 favorites]
I'm of the opinion, why not both. It's time to demand more.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:35 AM on November 21, 2014 [6 favorites]
Mayan gods? Americans putting their symbols to use without full comprehension of what they are messing with to sell burritos?
This seems call for the telling of the cautionary tale or Mr. Hart and the Mayan Death God - Ah Pook is Here, as spoken by William S. Burroughs.
posted by chambers at 6:09 AM on November 21, 2014
This seems call for the telling of the cautionary tale or Mr. Hart and the Mayan Death God - Ah Pook is Here, as spoken by William S. Burroughs.
posted by chambers at 6:09 AM on November 21, 2014
Welcome to postmodernity, Slate.
Precolumbian postmodernity: the best kind!
posted by TedW at 6:49 AM on November 21, 2014
Precolumbian postmodernity: the best kind!
posted by TedW at 6:49 AM on November 21, 2014
maybe it has something to do with the fact that a Chipotle burrito is like three pounds of food
Which Chipotle is this? Asking for a friend.
posted by the christopher hundreds at 6:50 AM on November 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
Which Chipotle is this? Asking for a friend.
posted by the christopher hundreds at 6:50 AM on November 21, 2014 [1 favorite]
No one's done it yet? (Four Ds came close...)
Metafilter: So good, you'll vomit bees and decapitate yourself!
posted by jammer at 1:10 PM on November 21, 2014
Metafilter: So good, you'll vomit bees and decapitate yourself!
posted by jammer at 1:10 PM on November 21, 2014
> Some people don't handle beans well and there's also the association with traveler's diarrhea/montezuma's revenge. I thought it was exaggerated, but I spent a few days running to the bathroom my first week in Guatemala. It was not a fun experience.
Well, people who don't handle beans well should omit beans from their burrito, but that's not Mexico's fault. And if beans are the issue , why don't we have a similar bathroom-troubles meme associated with three-bean salad, or Hoppin' John, or baked beans, or cassoulet, or split pea soup, or chili?
Traveler's diarrhea is a thing, but we're talking about food served by US restaurants in the US.
posted by desuetude at 3:14 PM on November 22, 2014
Well, people who don't handle beans well should omit beans from their burrito, but that's not Mexico's fault. And if beans are the issue , why don't we have a similar bathroom-troubles meme associated with three-bean salad, or Hoppin' John, or baked beans, or cassoulet, or split pea soup, or chili?
Traveler's diarrhea is a thing, but we're talking about food served by US restaurants in the US.
posted by desuetude at 3:14 PM on November 22, 2014
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