Shepherded, lovingly but firmly, away from harmful things like airlocks.
November 23, 2014 12:49 PM Subscribe
Tropical Islands is the mother of all water parks, built inside one of the world's largest buildings, with a separate play area for the kinder while the teens and adults discreetly down their pina coladas or Erdinger weissbiers in the thatch-roofed bars overlooking the beach. It's safe, and clean, and organized and curated and manicured to within an inch of its life. It's got that Malaysian high concept futurist vibe going, combined with German thoroughness and attention to detail, for an experience that's pretty much what you'd expect if Disneyworld opened a park in Singapore, only with fewer dire declarations of death to drug smugglers. It is in short thoroughly enjoyable if you're in Berlin and for some reason decide you want a relaxing tropical beach-side day out in an environment that's barely less artificial than an L5 space colony.
Discussed on an episode of the Judge John Hodgman podcast, earlier this year.
posted by Squeak Attack at 1:10 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Squeak Attack at 1:10 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
Totally insane, thanks for posting!
Though can I say, as a denizen of the sunny South Pacific, I sometimes wish we had our own miniature Berlin in an aircraft hangar. Full of queer hipster artists and ridiculously cheap apartments.
posted by dontjumplarry at 1:14 PM on November 23, 2014 [9 favorites]
Though can I say, as a denizen of the sunny South Pacific, I sometimes wish we had our own miniature Berlin in an aircraft hangar. Full of queer hipster artists and ridiculously cheap apartments.
posted by dontjumplarry at 1:14 PM on November 23, 2014 [9 favorites]
In the Casey Neistat video, I really like the perspective view where you can see the sky backdrop only reaches up 20 feet or so -- very Truman Show-esque.
This is, of course, the perfect corollary to Ski Dubai.
posted by dhartung at 1:38 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
This is, of course, the perfect corollary to Ski Dubai.
posted by dhartung at 1:38 PM on November 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I have been there, and it is awesome. Back before they had a per-day charge, I know someone who was seriously considering living there for a couple of months in the winter.
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 1:54 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 1:54 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
Favorited just for the Charlie on the MTA reference.
posted by ericales at 2:39 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by ericales at 2:39 PM on November 23, 2014 [2 favorites]
Google just signed a 60 year lease for a dirigible hangar, which is just about the same size. I don't think they are planning anything like this though.
posted by eye of newt at 2:45 PM on November 23, 2014
posted by eye of newt at 2:45 PM on November 23, 2014
Neat! I wrote an article about this place back in 2006, but I had been unable to find video at the time. Thanks Sys Rq.
posted by Hot Pastrami! at 5:05 PM on November 23, 2014
posted by Hot Pastrami! at 5:05 PM on November 23, 2014
I have been here; it is insane. We stuck mainly to the sauna portion, and as a slightly-overweight, prude, body-conscious American, I did not feel as comfortable as my German then-boyfriend swinging around naked from treehouse sauna, to vaguely Mayan sauna, to chic, neon-glow sauna.
We got a free CD with our visit of "Island" music, which meant awful pop songs from the 90s and early 2000s. The first song, though, was their theme song which basically went "Tropical I-I-ISLAND! Tropical I-I-ISLAND!" until your ears began bleeding. We sang that song a lot to one another. No wonder we didn't work out.
posted by missmary6 at 5:16 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
We got a free CD with our visit of "Island" music, which meant awful pop songs from the 90s and early 2000s. The first song, though, was their theme song which basically went "Tropical I-I-ISLAND! Tropical I-I-ISLAND!" until your ears began bleeding. We sang that song a lot to one another. No wonder we didn't work out.
posted by missmary6 at 5:16 PM on November 23, 2014 [3 favorites]
I just watched the movie We Are The Night the other day, and this place shows up in one of the scenes. Looked like a fun place minus the vampires.
posted by P.o.B. at 5:17 PM on November 23, 2014
posted by P.o.B. at 5:17 PM on November 23, 2014
Those Germans know their water-based leisure centers. I once spent an afternoon in the Carolus Thermen in Aachen and it was glorious.
posted by apricot at 7:17 PM on November 23, 2014
posted by apricot at 7:17 PM on November 23, 2014
I want to go to there
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:35 PM on November 23, 2014
posted by feckless fecal fear mongering at 10:35 PM on November 23, 2014
Another great one: Therme Erding, in the same town as where the Weissbier comes from, is a fantastic indoor sauna and water park. It's enormous, like a cavernous nightclub with heaps of different themed rooms, and big outdoor area. Most of it is not "clothing optional", they go one step further to "clothing forbidden".
(There is a nice German word for this: "textilfrei".)
You can cover yourself with a towel or robe as you walk around, but everyone in the water or the sauna is blissfully unencumbered. It's very pleasant once you get used to it. Having said that, I can't imagine going there with any visting friends or family from overseas.
However, this place in Berlin sounds like it's a size up from Erding. Must visit, thanks for the hint.
posted by illongruci at 8:31 AM on November 24, 2014
(There is a nice German word for this: "textilfrei".)
You can cover yourself with a towel or robe as you walk around, but everyone in the water or the sauna is blissfully unencumbered. It's very pleasant once you get used to it. Having said that, I can't imagine going there with any visting friends or family from overseas.
However, this place in Berlin sounds like it's a size up from Erding. Must visit, thanks for the hint.
posted by illongruci at 8:31 AM on November 24, 2014
I went to a much smaller scale spa along these lines in Helsinki in the middle of winter. It was heaven. With days of almost near-darkness and feet of snow and bitter temperatures, having the chance to splash around in a water park and then finish off with an adults-only spa was the perfect way to absolutely forget where I was. If I had something like this near me in the winter, I'd want to be there every day.
posted by Neely O'Hara at 11:36 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by Neely O'Hara at 11:36 AM on November 24, 2014
That's pretty much the appeal of the waterpark at West Edmonton Mall.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:50 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by Sys Rq at 11:50 AM on November 24, 2014
Ballard. I wanted Ballard to have written this as a short story before I got to this paragraph -
Of course there's a down-side. You can imagine a hapless tourist, buying entrance with their credit card, not realizing that their issuer's mainframe will decide their card has been stolen: they enter, and like Charlie on the MTA they can never leave. Trapped forever, unable to pay the robot it's exit fee, they live feral lives trapped in the interstices of a tropical future ...
posted by Zack_Replica at 3:32 PM on November 24, 2014
Of course there's a down-side. You can imagine a hapless tourist, buying entrance with their credit card, not realizing that their issuer's mainframe will decide their card has been stolen: they enter, and like Charlie on the MTA they can never leave. Trapped forever, unable to pay the robot it's exit fee, they live feral lives trapped in the interstices of a tropical future ...
posted by Zack_Replica at 3:32 PM on November 24, 2014
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This thing is amazing. Someone made the observation "to heck with biosphere III, just use this thing", but it made me wonder what the energy use of it is. I know a lot of it is solar heat, but still.
posted by jferg at 12:51 PM on November 23, 2014