Newtown's Adam Lanza and Missed Opportunities
November 24, 2014 3:39 AM Subscribe
Connecticut's Office of The Child Advocate Releases Report on Sandy Hook Shootings "Newtown shooter Adam Lanza was an isolated young man with deteriorating mental health and a fascination for mass violence whose problems were not ignored but misunderstood and mistreated, according to a report released Friday by a Connecticut state agency."
From CNN: The 114-page report released by the Connecticut Office of the Child Advocate profiled the developmental and educational history of Lanza, the young man who carried out the mass killings at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012. The report noted "missed opportunities" by Lanza's mother, the school district, and multiple healthcare providers.
It identified "warning signs, red flags, or other lessons that could be learned from a review of [Lanza's] life."
The authors of the report relied on extensive documentation and interviews with Lanza's educators and doctors, as well as email exchanges between Lanza and his parents, to make their determinations and recommendations.
From early developmental concerns that were largely ignored to a parent who believed that her son's borderline autism had been outgrown, the report paints a picture of a young man who desperately needed special education services and did not receive them.
"The report concluded that a pattern of accommodation to Lanza's mental health conditions -- rather than addressing his underlying needs -- by Nancy Lanza and certain health care providers, exacerbated Lanza's mental status."
From CNN: The 114-page report released by the Connecticut Office of the Child Advocate profiled the developmental and educational history of Lanza, the young man who carried out the mass killings at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012. The report noted "missed opportunities" by Lanza's mother, the school district, and multiple healthcare providers.
It identified "warning signs, red flags, or other lessons that could be learned from a review of [Lanza's] life."
The authors of the report relied on extensive documentation and interviews with Lanza's educators and doctors, as well as email exchanges between Lanza and his parents, to make their determinations and recommendations.
From early developmental concerns that were largely ignored to a parent who believed that her son's borderline autism had been outgrown, the report paints a picture of a young man who desperately needed special education services and did not receive them.
"The report concluded that a pattern of accommodation to Lanza's mental health conditions -- rather than addressing his underlying needs -- by Nancy Lanza and certain health care providers, exacerbated Lanza's mental status."
6'0 and 112 lbs and he wasn't taken to the hospital for obvious nutrition problems that further exacerbated his poor mental health? Smh.
I noticed his mother was really relying on him to fulfill her emotional needs. It was really bizarre. Both of his parents seemed to be fine letting Adam make all the decisions. And his dad wasn't concerned that Adam's mom needed help or was being manipulated by Adam.
It's just so weird.
posted by discopolo at 3:51 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
I noticed his mother was really relying on him to fulfill her emotional needs. It was really bizarre. Both of his parents seemed to be fine letting Adam make all the decisions. And his dad wasn't concerned that Adam's mom needed help or was being manipulated by Adam.
It's just so weird.
posted by discopolo at 3:51 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
Fun fact: the doctor who provided the note getting Adam permanently out of school later fled the country due to a sex scandal.
As a bonus, rooting around the Internet looking for some of the references of items mentioned in this report leave me find that crazy conspiracy guy who has this complete other view where Adam is 100% innocent and is framed. So the Fruitloop contingent is handled, in case anyone was worried.
posted by jscott at 3:52 AM on November 24, 2014
As a bonus, rooting around the Internet looking for some of the references of items mentioned in this report leave me find that crazy conspiracy guy who has this complete other view where Adam is 100% innocent and is framed. So the Fruitloop contingent is handled, in case anyone was worried.
posted by jscott at 3:52 AM on November 24, 2014
As a bonus, rooting around the Internet looking for some of the references of items mentioned in this report leave me find that crazy conspiracy guy who has this complete other view where Adam is 100% innocent and is framed. So the Fruitloop contingent is handled, in case anyone was worried.
OMG apparently there's some crazy theory that it was all a hoax and that there wasn't an Adam Lanza. What the hell is wrong with people?
posted by discopolo at 3:55 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
OMG apparently there's some crazy theory that it was all a hoax and that there wasn't an Adam Lanza. What the hell is wrong with people?
posted by discopolo at 3:55 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
And the mom faking MS? Someone explain that to me. Who does that kind of thing?
posted by discopolo at 4:01 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by discopolo at 4:01 AM on November 24, 2014
OMG apparently there's some crazy theory that it was all a hoax and that there wasn't an Adam Lanza.
Clearly you haven't had enough contact with the teaparty/wingnutbrigade, who after Sandy Hooks were very quick in declaring it a false flag operation designed by Obama to provide the pretext to take away their guns.
Lucky you.
posted by MartinWisse at 4:14 AM on November 24, 2014 [16 favorites]
Clearly you haven't had enough contact with the teaparty/wingnutbrigade, who after Sandy Hooks were very quick in declaring it a false flag operation designed by Obama to provide the pretext to take away their guns.
Lucky you.
posted by MartinWisse at 4:14 AM on November 24, 2014 [16 favorites]
Ugh. "AL’s parents (and the school) appeared to conceptualize him as intellectually gifted, and much of AL’s high school experience catered to his curricular needs. In actuality, psychological testing performed by the school district in high school indicated AL’s cognitive abilities were average."
posted by Scram at 4:17 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Scram at 4:17 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
OMG apparently there's some crazy theory that it was all a hoax and that there wasn't an Adam Lanza.
Yeah, for extra insanity you can find people that say Lanza and Tsarnaev were patsies for the real government agent, Jeff Bauman.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:46 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Yeah, for extra insanity you can find people that say Lanza and Tsarnaev were patsies for the real government agent, Jeff Bauman.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:46 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
They list the titles of all the books and video games in his possession, but the anti-anxiety medication he took is described no further.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:03 AM on November 24, 2014 [28 favorites]
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:03 AM on November 24, 2014 [28 favorites]
Previously on Metafilter, Sandy Hook truthers.
I actually had a student in a summer class a year or two back who believed this, to the point that I had to respond when said student raised it in open class during a discussion of possible research paper topics. (I don't imagine I convinced the student of anything other than my own complicity, of course.)
That said, I almost find the phenomenon weirdly encouraging. Sandy Hook trutherism is basically the result of an unwanted realization that massacres are a direct result of the insanity of American gun culture. People literally have to *deny its very reality* in order to avoid questioning the gun-nut orthodoxy.
posted by kewb at 5:08 AM on November 24, 2014 [19 favorites]
I actually had a student in a summer class a year or two back who believed this, to the point that I had to respond when said student raised it in open class during a discussion of possible research paper topics. (I don't imagine I convinced the student of anything other than my own complicity, of course.)
That said, I almost find the phenomenon weirdly encouraging. Sandy Hook trutherism is basically the result of an unwanted realization that massacres are a direct result of the insanity of American gun culture. People literally have to *deny its very reality* in order to avoid questioning the gun-nut orthodoxy.
posted by kewb at 5:08 AM on November 24, 2014 [19 favorites]
I haven't read this report, but as a person who grew up in a family with autism spectrum disorders, I think it's important people know that schools and community health programs do not just give away special education and assistance. You need to apply for programs and make a case for needing them more often than not. Some parents do this, others don't, either out of ignorance, denial, apathy or just plain being spread too thin between other responsibilities to argue with a Child Study Team. This is true even in communities famous for their special education programs.
I'm not saying Lanza's mother was being responsible or sane, but there are probably more systematic issues here as well.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:17 AM on November 24, 2014 [13 favorites]
I'm not saying Lanza's mother was being responsible or sane, but there are probably more systematic issues here as well.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:17 AM on November 24, 2014 [13 favorites]
There actually was one truther website arguing it was a false flag by pointing out people on the news that looked like Hollywood actors such as John Goodman.
I guess if you believe that Stanley Kubrick directed the fake moon landing that's less of a leap, but you'd think they'd rather cast unknowns in front of the camera.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:20 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
I guess if you believe that Stanley Kubrick directed the fake moon landing that's less of a leap, but you'd think they'd rather cast unknowns in front of the camera.
posted by mccarty.tim at 5:20 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
I haven't read this report, but as a person who grew up in a family with autism spectrum disorders, I think it's important people know that schools and community health programs do not just give away special education and assistance. [...] I'm not saying Lanza's mother was being responsible or sane, but there are probably more systematic issues here as well.
The report's executive summary is six pages long, so not a huge commitment if you're interested. Three pages of it are a pretty exhaustive description of the things the commission thinks the system should be doing and isn't. They're not sweeping the broader failure under the rug.
posted by dorque at 5:56 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
The report's executive summary is six pages long, so not a huge commitment if you're interested. Three pages of it are a pretty exhaustive description of the things the commission thinks the system should be doing and isn't. They're not sweeping the broader failure under the rug.
posted by dorque at 5:56 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
Well, I couldn't make it past page two.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:06 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 6:06 AM on November 24, 2014
there's some crazy theory that it was all a hoax and that there wasn't an Adam Lanza. What the hell is wrong with people?
As a great American philosopher once said "A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. La la la la la la la la la."
posted by octobersurprise at 6:07 AM on November 24, 2014 [11 favorites]
As a great American philosopher once said "A man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. La la la la la la la la la."
posted by octobersurprise at 6:07 AM on November 24, 2014 [11 favorites]
I wonder if Adam Lanza had a sleep disorder, which is what I think of first when I hear "deterioration" of mental states.
posted by Brian B. at 6:09 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Brian B. at 6:09 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Why did they decide to only refer to Adam by initialisms after the first mention? Is that the norm for this type of report?
posted by saucysault at 6:14 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by saucysault at 6:14 AM on November 24, 2014
I had a FB argument with a relative over the truther picture that claims that the Newtown principal also was claimed to be a Boston Marathon victim, when it was just an out of context picture. After I presented him with the Snopes article, he claimed that the "Jury was still out." Which means that everyone who lives in Newtown and knew the principal of the school is somehow being silenced by the government's false flag.
posted by pashdown at 6:25 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by pashdown at 6:25 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
The concluding paragraphs are worth reading.
While authors’ focus has been on AL’s psychological deterioration, we reiterate that this should not be taken to mean that we do not recognize the ubiquitous role that guns, and especially assault weapons with high capacity magazines, play in mass murder. In fact, while mental illness plays only a small role in violence in America, assault weapons are an increasingly common denominator in violent crimes. The widespread access to assault weapons and high capacity ammunition is an urgent public health concern.
posted by cacofonie at 6:30 AM on November 24, 2014 [12 favorites]
While authors’ focus has been on AL’s psychological deterioration, we reiterate that this should not be taken to mean that we do not recognize the ubiquitous role that guns, and especially assault weapons with high capacity magazines, play in mass murder. In fact, while mental illness plays only a small role in violence in America, assault weapons are an increasingly common denominator in violent crimes. The widespread access to assault weapons and high capacity ammunition is an urgent public health concern.
posted by cacofonie at 6:30 AM on November 24, 2014 [12 favorites]
At the end of the day how can we be sure that this place called Newtown actually exists? I mean I never heard of it before this event and thus I can reasonably expect that Obama actually directed the government to build this town and then fake this event in an attempt to curtail our 2nd amendment rights prior to a declaration of martial law and Obama as president for life.
I just finished typing that and realized that I can actually see someone typing that in a non-joking manner and have some people actually believe it. Although let's be honest it's too short and to the point to the be typical conspiracy theory ramblings. I also forgot to include reptilians.
posted by vuron at 6:36 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
I just finished typing that and realized that I can actually see someone typing that in a non-joking manner and have some people actually believe it. Although let's be honest it's too short and to the point to the be typical conspiracy theory ramblings. I also forgot to include reptilians.
posted by vuron at 6:36 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
I am just sitting down to read through this whole report, but early on at page 15 I feel like I know where this is going:
He lived with his parents, Mrs. Nancy Lanza and Mr. Peter Lanza, and one brother, Ryan, who was older than AL by four years. Mrs. Lanza returned to work after AL’s birth for some period of time.
I assume Mr. Lanza returned to work as well. No mention of that.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:44 AM on November 24, 2014 [30 favorites]
He lived with his parents, Mrs. Nancy Lanza and Mr. Peter Lanza, and one brother, Ryan, who was older than AL by four years. Mrs. Lanza returned to work after AL’s birth for some period of time.
I assume Mr. Lanza returned to work as well. No mention of that.
posted by DarlingBri at 6:44 AM on November 24, 2014 [30 favorites]
And yet friends of mine with children who have similar conditions have to beg, cajole and threaten their local school districts for service, services they are entitled to by law. Mothers giving up paid employment because this Hassling The School To Do Their Job IS a full time job. Schools that think it's perfectly ok to call them and say, we just can't deal with your kid today, come take him home. (Usually this happens when the school blatantly ignores his IEP and exacerbates unwanted behaviors).
So while a report like this is all well and good, I'll believe state agencies devoted to child welfare and schools when they walk the fucking walk and actually follow their own recommendations.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:49 AM on November 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
So while a report like this is all well and good, I'll believe state agencies devoted to child welfare and schools when they walk the fucking walk and actually follow their own recommendations.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 6:49 AM on November 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
There's actually some discussion of how Mr. Lanza wasn't very involved in his kids' lives and considered himself a "weekend father." His wife said he was a workaholic and complained in emails to her friends that he was only around for fun stuff and wasn't involved in day-to-day child-raising activities. He said that he didn't think his kids were affected by their parents' separation, because he saw them on the weekends and was therefore as involved in their lives as he had been before the separation. So yeah: not a very involved parent, and that's an issue, because that means he didn't notice that his wife was under the totally mistaken impression that she was dying from MS.
Having said that, you have to wonder what they'd have found out about Mr. Lanza if they'd been in a position to go through his emails. Being alive, he was able to shape the narrative of his own life, in a way that his ex-wife wasn't.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:53 AM on November 24, 2014 [13 favorites]
Having said that, you have to wonder what they'd have found out about Mr. Lanza if they'd been in a position to go through his emails. Being alive, he was able to shape the narrative of his own life, in a way that his ex-wife wasn't.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:53 AM on November 24, 2014 [13 favorites]
Why did they decide to only refer to Adam by initialisms after the first mention? Is that the norm for this type of report?
I know that a lot of my mental-healthcare practitioner colleagues do this in emails, even on secure systems, because they were taught that email isn't ever secure enough to include personally identifying information about clients. I wonder if it was just an easy way to have everyone feeling comfortable sharing files electronically?
posted by jaguar at 6:55 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
I know that a lot of my mental-healthcare practitioner colleagues do this in emails, even on secure systems, because they were taught that email isn't ever secure enough to include personally identifying information about clients. I wonder if it was just an easy way to have everyone feeling comfortable sharing files electronically?
posted by jaguar at 6:55 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
Not all experiences with Special Ed services are helpful for high-functioning students. We went that route with our oldest, and found our child was unchallenged because he had an IEP. It was easier to put him in a private high school and reduce his meds than hire a lawyer. He was on some JV teams, so the exercise & supportive community played a role that had him in college prep work. He was able to connect with students of his ability level. There was a lot of stigma behavior in elementary & middle schools, not just from students.
Hopefully this is improving within schools. It's not a perfect answer, is all I'm alluding to.
posted by childofTethys at 6:58 AM on November 24, 2014
Hopefully this is improving within schools. It's not a perfect answer, is all I'm alluding to.
posted by childofTethys at 6:58 AM on November 24, 2014
It's also a report from the Office of the Child Advocate, so I wouldn't be surprised if they're just used to refer to subjects by initials as a way of maintaining the confidentiality of juveniles.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:58 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 6:58 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think it may have been a way of differentiating him from the other Lanzas who are discussed in the report. His father is referred to as Mr. Lanza and his mother as Mrs. Lanza. Referring to him as Adam would have seemed too familiar, I think, referring to him as Lanza would have been confusing, and spelling out Adam Lanza would get repetitive.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:58 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 6:58 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
They list the titles of all the books and video games in his possession, but the anti-anxiety medication he took is described no further.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:03 AM on November 24 [9 favorites +] [!]
AL generally refused to take any medications. When he finally agreed in 2007 to take a small dose of anti-anxiety/anti-depression med, he took it for just three days, then reported bizarre side-effects and quit it.
Immediately after prescribing the medication, the clinician received a call from the mother reporting that AL was “unable to raise his arm.” Mrs. Lanza stated that AL was attributing this symptom to the medication. An email from Mrs. Lanza to the clinic indicated that AL took the medication for three days. Mrs. Lanza wrote an email that AL experienced immediate and diverse symptoms associated with the medication, including “decreased appetitive and nausea . . . dizziness . . .disorientation,” disjointed speech, and sweating. She stated that “he couldn’t think. He sat in his room, doing nothing....Mrs. Lanza said AL would be discontinuing the medication."
posted by Carol Anne at 7:04 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 5:03 AM on November 24 [9 favorites +] [!]
AL generally refused to take any medications. When he finally agreed in 2007 to take a small dose of anti-anxiety/anti-depression med, he took it for just three days, then reported bizarre side-effects and quit it.
Immediately after prescribing the medication, the clinician received a call from the mother reporting that AL was “unable to raise his arm.” Mrs. Lanza stated that AL was attributing this symptom to the medication. An email from Mrs. Lanza to the clinic indicated that AL took the medication for three days. Mrs. Lanza wrote an email that AL experienced immediate and diverse symptoms associated with the medication, including “decreased appetitive and nausea . . . dizziness . . .disorientation,” disjointed speech, and sweating. She stated that “he couldn’t think. He sat in his room, doing nothing....Mrs. Lanza said AL would be discontinuing the medication."
posted by Carol Anne at 7:04 AM on November 24, 2014
Oh God, Sandy Hook was terrifying. I was teaching middle school at the time and we had a number of unstable, often violent students in the school. The shooting happened on a Friday while we were all in professional development and the next Monday at dismissal I heard a loud noise and FREAKED OUT and threw myself in front of the nearest kid all set to start shouting at everyone else to get in the classroom and hide out of sight of the door when I realized that, uh, no one else was doing anything. I looked at Ms. Wilson whose room was across the hall and said "that wasn't a gunshot, was it?" and she said "No, someone in my class was mad and slammed the fire door" but I was just so on edge that any loud noise made me assume that someone was attacking the kids with a gun.
The thing is, in terms of the shooter's treatment, schools have an affirmative duty to identify students with special needs but so often it just doesn't go anywhere because there's not enough time or resources. I've had students who I KNEW needed special ed and/or mental health and social services, multiple kids in the same class, and the process is so ridiculously onerous that even though I tried to get them help there just wasn't anything I could do about it. The burden is put on teachers to identify and document and try interventions and managing that on top of everything else can be too much and basically impossible. It's tempting to blame the school districts (and, to a certain extent, I do!) but the problem is that many of them also don't have the resources to help all the kids they are legally required to help, so we make these laws (some of which are good laws!) putting the burden on schools and then underfund and understaff them and then blame the teachers and administrators and districts when they can't appropriately address the needs of every kid because we haven't given them the resources. It's really pernicious and awful and the Sandy Hook shooting is just one especially terrible very visible consequence of this.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:20 AM on November 24, 2014 [13 favorites]
The thing is, in terms of the shooter's treatment, schools have an affirmative duty to identify students with special needs but so often it just doesn't go anywhere because there's not enough time or resources. I've had students who I KNEW needed special ed and/or mental health and social services, multiple kids in the same class, and the process is so ridiculously onerous that even though I tried to get them help there just wasn't anything I could do about it. The burden is put on teachers to identify and document and try interventions and managing that on top of everything else can be too much and basically impossible. It's tempting to blame the school districts (and, to a certain extent, I do!) but the problem is that many of them also don't have the resources to help all the kids they are legally required to help, so we make these laws (some of which are good laws!) putting the burden on schools and then underfund and understaff them and then blame the teachers and administrators and districts when they can't appropriately address the needs of every kid because we haven't given them the resources. It's really pernicious and awful and the Sandy Hook shooting is just one especially terrible very visible consequence of this.
posted by Mrs. Pterodactyl at 7:20 AM on November 24, 2014 [13 favorites]
I can only imagine how exhausting and demoralizing it would be to have a kid with that level of constant need. However, a kid staying shut up in his room for ONE DAY should be a major red flag. Parents need to be the ones to make sure that the members of the family interact with each other daily, or else it's not a family. That goes for older (18+) children still living under the same roof. If they don't like it, they can move out and get a place.
And the gun thing ... I can't even. How could the parents not realize letting him be around guns was a bad idea?
posted by freecellwizard at 7:24 AM on November 24, 2014
And the gun thing ... I can't even. How could the parents not realize letting him be around guns was a bad idea?
posted by freecellwizard at 7:24 AM on November 24, 2014
And the gun thing ... I can't even. How could the parents not realize letting him be around guns was a bad idea?
Because a lot of gun owners believe that they are responsible people. Having a gun in the same house as any child is a bad idea, but especially a child who has mental or emotional issues.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:27 AM on November 24, 2014
Because a lot of gun owners believe that they are responsible people. Having a gun in the same house as any child is a bad idea, but especially a child who has mental or emotional issues.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 7:27 AM on November 24, 2014
I wonder if Adam Lanza had a sleep disorder, which is what I think of first when I hear "deterioration" of mental states.
posted by Brian B.
The report talks at length about the fact that Adam Lanza didn't really sleep, from infancy.
He sounds like an absolute nightmare to live with--it's impossible for me to see, from outside the situation, how living with his issues was easier for his mother than fighting to have them dealt with appropriately. Not only was her inaction utterly detrimental to him, but her own life must have been straight-up hell. As clear as it is to me that Ms. Lanza had her own boatload of mental health issues, I just cannot relate to her choices on any level. And the absentee father is utterly complicit as well.
posted by padraigin at 7:32 AM on November 24, 2014 [11 favorites]
posted by Brian B.
The report talks at length about the fact that Adam Lanza didn't really sleep, from infancy.
He sounds like an absolute nightmare to live with--it's impossible for me to see, from outside the situation, how living with his issues was easier for his mother than fighting to have them dealt with appropriately. Not only was her inaction utterly detrimental to him, but her own life must have been straight-up hell. As clear as it is to me that Ms. Lanza had her own boatload of mental health issues, I just cannot relate to her choices on any level. And the absentee father is utterly complicit as well.
posted by padraigin at 7:32 AM on November 24, 2014 [11 favorites]
roomthreeseventeen: "Because a lot of gun owners believe that they are responsible people. Having a gun in the same house as any child is a bad idea, but especially a child who has mental or emotional issues."
I think it's also an admission that your child has really serious issues and will "never be normal" and that is a hard hurdle to make it over as a parent. It's one thing to say "my kid needs supportive services for now to become a fully functional adult" but it's totally different to say "my kid will need supportive services for the rest of his life."
Having to make big changes to your lifestyle -- buying a wheelchair-accessible house, getting rid of all your guns, having to lock up your valuables -- those are admissions that these problems are super-serious and not temporary, and it represents not just facing something about your child that you don't want to face, but the death of a lot of dreams you had about your life as a parent and for your child, and then feeling horrifically guilty for mourning that loss. Parents honestly need grief counseling-type support to go through those changes and cope with the grief and the guilt, and most don't get it.
We're not gun people, but we have friends who are hunters who, when they finally had to admit that their son (who was adopted and had FAS) would never, ever be able to safely go hunting with his dad, and they could not safely keep guns in the house under any circumstances, it was ridiculously dislocating for them as a family, because it was "I am losing this hobby for myself" and also "My son has problems I cannot fix with love alone" and "We can never have the future I imagined" and "My life has to be different" and "My son's life will never be as full as we dreamed." It was the moment that they had to face the emotional reality of their son's illness and accept that they had to become different people to be his parents. I think a lot of parents just can't ever face that moment, and I think in families where hunting is an important part of father-son bonding, it becomes a dangerous flashpoint because it's so hard to face. (In fact, I feel like there should be support and guidance for seriously exactly this situation from the hunting community, but of course with the NRA there won't be.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:41 AM on November 24, 2014 [58 favorites]
I think it's also an admission that your child has really serious issues and will "never be normal" and that is a hard hurdle to make it over as a parent. It's one thing to say "my kid needs supportive services for now to become a fully functional adult" but it's totally different to say "my kid will need supportive services for the rest of his life."
Having to make big changes to your lifestyle -- buying a wheelchair-accessible house, getting rid of all your guns, having to lock up your valuables -- those are admissions that these problems are super-serious and not temporary, and it represents not just facing something about your child that you don't want to face, but the death of a lot of dreams you had about your life as a parent and for your child, and then feeling horrifically guilty for mourning that loss. Parents honestly need grief counseling-type support to go through those changes and cope with the grief and the guilt, and most don't get it.
We're not gun people, but we have friends who are hunters who, when they finally had to admit that their son (who was adopted and had FAS) would never, ever be able to safely go hunting with his dad, and they could not safely keep guns in the house under any circumstances, it was ridiculously dislocating for them as a family, because it was "I am losing this hobby for myself" and also "My son has problems I cannot fix with love alone" and "We can never have the future I imagined" and "My life has to be different" and "My son's life will never be as full as we dreamed." It was the moment that they had to face the emotional reality of their son's illness and accept that they had to become different people to be his parents. I think a lot of parents just can't ever face that moment, and I think in families where hunting is an important part of father-son bonding, it becomes a dangerous flashpoint because it's so hard to face. (In fact, I feel like there should be support and guidance for seriously exactly this situation from the hunting community, but of course with the NRA there won't be.)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 7:41 AM on November 24, 2014 [58 favorites]
AL generally refused to take any medications.
Yes, I read that part, and the drug that he did take for that brief time was reported by the local newspaper as Celexa. Here are the adverse effects that the doctors said are totally not possible.
I question the objectivity of a report that name-checks Lego Star Wars but fails to disclose the name of a drug that has already been reported in the press. (Of course, nowhere in the paper is it claimed that its purpose is to be objective)
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:50 AM on November 24, 2014 [7 favorites]
Yes, I read that part, and the drug that he did take for that brief time was reported by the local newspaper as Celexa. Here are the adverse effects that the doctors said are totally not possible.
I question the objectivity of a report that name-checks Lego Star Wars but fails to disclose the name of a drug that has already been reported in the press. (Of course, nowhere in the paper is it claimed that its purpose is to be objective)
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 7:50 AM on November 24, 2014 [7 favorites]
The report describes that Nancy Lanza preferred to just keep Adam comfortable. The email exchange Adam and his mom had in 2008 that's captured in the report suggests Nancy Lanza had emotional and mental health issues of her own----especially the lying about having MS.
She received enough child support and alimony to have gotten help/respite for dealing with Adam. But she seemed to just let him rule the house. The report even mentions that she wouldn't disturb his "privacy" or cross whatever boundaries made him uncomfortable.
But she's the one who had to deal with him and his anger and moods. And she was clearly ill-equipped and had a host of her own problems that kept her from dealing with her son in a better way then to just constantly appease him.
posted by discopolo at 7:50 AM on November 24, 2014
She received enough child support and alimony to have gotten help/respite for dealing with Adam. But she seemed to just let him rule the house. The report even mentions that she wouldn't disturb his "privacy" or cross whatever boundaries made him uncomfortable.
But she's the one who had to deal with him and his anger and moods. And she was clearly ill-equipped and had a host of her own problems that kept her from dealing with her son in a better way then to just constantly appease him.
posted by discopolo at 7:50 AM on November 24, 2014
AL’s mother told the Yale psychiatrist that he used to look at people but did not anymore. AL then asked rhetorically, “Why should I have to.” When the doctor explained all of the information that a person could learn by looking at a facial expression, such as a smile, AL stated that people could interpret smiles differently: “Some primates smile when they are frightened.”posted by nev at 7:53 AM on November 24, 2014
As clear as it is to me that Ms. Lanza had her own boatload of mental health issues, I just cannot relate to her choices on any level.
The thing is, Nancy Lanza was also Adam's first victim, can't speak for herself or defend her actions so it's very easy to just dump a lot of the blame for his actions on her and I'm not certain the report's authors haven't given in to this temptation, no matter how carefully they've worded their conclusions.
I also wonder what the point of the report is: mental problems, autism or not, without guns no murder spree.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:36 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
The thing is, Nancy Lanza was also Adam's first victim, can't speak for herself or defend her actions so it's very easy to just dump a lot of the blame for his actions on her and I'm not certain the report's authors haven't given in to this temptation, no matter how carefully they've worded their conclusions.
I also wonder what the point of the report is: mental problems, autism or not, without guns no murder spree.
posted by MartinWisse at 8:36 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
it's impossible for me to see, from outside the situation, how living with his issues was easier for his mother than fighting to have them dealt with appropriately
I think it's a little easy for us to say that he should have had his issues "dealt with appropriately." Obviously the outcome here was incredibly disastrous and indefensible, but it's not like the solution here was some simple regimen of pills and exercise that would have produced a happy well-adjusted member of society.
Not to equalize the two, but from my recollection the shooter in the mass killings in Santa Barbara had plenty of access to mental health care.
posted by leopard at 8:40 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
I think it's a little easy for us to say that he should have had his issues "dealt with appropriately." Obviously the outcome here was incredibly disastrous and indefensible, but it's not like the solution here was some simple regimen of pills and exercise that would have produced a happy well-adjusted member of society.
Not to equalize the two, but from my recollection the shooter in the mass killings in Santa Barbara had plenty of access to mental health care.
posted by leopard at 8:40 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
You raise a good point that I wasn't ignoring, but I think that Adam Lanza's life was a complete tragedy before guns entered into it and that's exactly what the report bears out.
posted by padraigin at 8:41 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by padraigin at 8:41 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I also wonder what the point of the report is: mental problems, autism or not, without guns no murder spree.
From the report:
From the report:
While this report focuses on educational, physical and mental health issues, the authors recognize the significant role that assault weapons and high capacity ammunition clips play in mass murder. That AL had ready access to them cannot be ignored as a critical factor in this tragedy. Assault weapons are the single most common denominator in mass shootings in the United States and as such, their ready availability must be considered a critical public health issue.posted by leopard at 8:42 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
nev, I'm not sure what you were going for with that particular quote. Personally I'm sad and exhausted with the fact that the article seems to want me to equate a bog-standard autistic trait with some kind of horrible disrespect for people as people.
posted by dorque at 8:47 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by dorque at 8:47 AM on November 24, 2014
The report does also suggest better joining-up of services - it seems the school, ER, community psych and Yale team had no idea what each other were recommending, and it was left to Nancy Lanza to pass info on, or not, as it suited her.
We have had several of these inquiries in the UK after high-profile child protection disasters (Baby P, Victoria Climbie), and practice has actually changed as a result. Not saying we're now perfect over here, but the inquiries were definitely useful in identifying what had gone wrong and forcing through improvements. Hopefully this report will be acted on, and not just shoved in a cupboard somewhere.
posted by tinkletown at 8:48 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
We have had several of these inquiries in the UK after high-profile child protection disasters (Baby P, Victoria Climbie), and practice has actually changed as a result. Not saying we're now perfect over here, but the inquiries were definitely useful in identifying what had gone wrong and forcing through improvements. Hopefully this report will be acted on, and not just shoved in a cupboard somewhere.
posted by tinkletown at 8:48 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
MartinWisse: "I also wonder what the point of the report is: mental problems, autism or not, without guns no murder spree."
I think the report is pretty clear about that: in reviewing the supports his family had available, and where those supports failed, the report highlights problems in how Connecticut (and the U.S.) treat children with multiple challenges and with mental health challenges. It acknowledges that without the guns, there would have been no spree, but summarizes in the executive summary:
The gun piece clearly needs to be dealt with, but so does the mental health piece. The fact that the gun lobby in the US will make it impossible to deal rationally with the gun piece doesn't abrogate our responsibility for dealing with the mental health piece. The Office of the Child Advocate also has expertise not so much in gun issues, but in the complex issues of child health and wellbeing, so that's what the report focuses on.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:56 AM on November 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
I think the report is pretty clear about that: in reviewing the supports his family had available, and where those supports failed, the report highlights problems in how Connecticut (and the U.S.) treat children with multiple challenges and with mental health challenges. It acknowledges that without the guns, there would have been no spree, but summarizes in the executive summary:
32. The dynamics presented in this report reflect common concerns over siloed systems of education, physical health, and mental health care for children.And offers key recommendations like (I just picked a few that jumped out at me):
33. Findings in the report strongly implicate the need to assist parents with understanding and addressing the needs of children with complex developmental and mental health disorders.
34. Relevant to this report is that a multi-state review conducted by the federal government confirmed that many states struggle with a dramatic lack of effective services for transition-age youth diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders.
Systems must facilitate and financially support universal screening for behavioral health and developmental impairments for children ages birth to 21. This is especially necessary within a pediatric primary care setting, with a financial reimbursement strategy to incentivize compliance with screening requirementsAs someone who has been involved in educational administration from the administrative side, and who now has a child receiving special educational services, these are real and serious issues in how we provide service and support to children with special needs; they are difficult to solve because of the many moving parts; and they will require high-level intervention from state-level and sometimes federal-level rule-makers. They will also require funding from state and federal governments.
Children and their families should have access to quality care coordination, often reserved only for children with complex medical needs, but beneficial for children with developmental challenges and mental health concerns. Care coordination should facilitate more effective information-sharing among medical, community, and educational providers.
Parents may be overwhelmed with their own difficulties and the burdens of daily care and support for a youth with significant disabilities. States must increase access to therapeutic services, psycho-education, and peer support for families who have children with specialized needs.
By asking special education teams to specify a child’s eligibility under a specific (or single) label — meaning what is the “right” disability — there is a tendency for interventions to focus on only one aspect of a child’s learning and development. This focus on “primary disability” may mitigate against a truly comprehensive support system for the child. It is essential that a more holistic approach to identification for special education eligibility that encourages attention to multiple aspects of disability — as was true in AL’s case — be undertaken.
The gun piece clearly needs to be dealt with, but so does the mental health piece. The fact that the gun lobby in the US will make it impossible to deal rationally with the gun piece doesn't abrogate our responsibility for dealing with the mental health piece. The Office of the Child Advocate also has expertise not so much in gun issues, but in the complex issues of child health and wellbeing, so that's what the report focuses on.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 8:56 AM on November 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
The report actually does discuss guns, but it's way down towards the end.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:58 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
While the prevalence of severe mental illness is roughly stable around the world, for instance the prevalence of schizophrenia is approximately 1% in all developed countries,87 the rates of gun violence vary widely and are generally in keeping with the prevalence of guns in various societies.... The conclusion that access to guns drives shooting episodes far more than the presence of mental illness is inescapable. Those countries that have tight gun controls in general experience less overall gun violence and have fewer episodes per capita of mass shootings.But I guess I think that the failures documented here would have been failures even if Adam Lanza hadn't killed a bunch of six-year-olds. He had developmental delays and mental illness and an eating disorder, and he didn't get real treatment for any of those things. That would have been a tragedy even if he'd taken the much-more-common route of just killing himself.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 8:58 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I thought the report was about as damming of the school district as it could be. And in that vein:
"The report concluded that a pattern of accommodation to Lanza's mental health conditions -- rather than addressing his underlying needs -- by Nancy Lanza and certain health care providers, exacerbated Lanza's mental status."
Fuck you, CNN, because the report also places as much blame on a school district as it does on any other party named there. This reports shows through 98 pages that the district consistently failed to address his social and emotional needs in his IEPs, failed to follow through on the IEPs he did have, failed him completely in his homebound setting, and focused only on his curricular needs in the school environment.
But by all means, call out Nancy Lanza.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:59 AM on November 24, 2014 [8 favorites]
"The report concluded that a pattern of accommodation to Lanza's mental health conditions -- rather than addressing his underlying needs -- by Nancy Lanza and certain health care providers, exacerbated Lanza's mental status."
Fuck you, CNN, because the report also places as much blame on a school district as it does on any other party named there. This reports shows through 98 pages that the district consistently failed to address his social and emotional needs in his IEPs, failed to follow through on the IEPs he did have, failed him completely in his homebound setting, and focused only on his curricular needs in the school environment.
But by all means, call out Nancy Lanza.
posted by DarlingBri at 8:59 AM on November 24, 2014 [8 favorites]
> I also wonder what the point of the report is: mental problems, autism or not, without guns no murder spree.
The point of the report is that there’s very little chance that Connecticut, even if it has the political will, can prevent its residents from amassing the stockpile of weapons that Adam had access to, at least in the near term. And whatever state laws it passes will be largely toothless in the midst of our nationwide gun dysfunction.
Also: even if Nancy didn’t have an arsenal, even if she had one pistol, or no guns at all, it’s highly likely to me that Adam would’ve found a way to kill her at the very least. It’s worth it to figure out where the system broke down, even if the answer is that the system did nearly everything right, but could not penetrate the unfortunate situation of an overwhelmed parent in denial about her child’s problems.
posted by savetheclocktower at 9:01 AM on November 24, 2014
The point of the report is that there’s very little chance that Connecticut, even if it has the political will, can prevent its residents from amassing the stockpile of weapons that Adam had access to, at least in the near term. And whatever state laws it passes will be largely toothless in the midst of our nationwide gun dysfunction.
Also: even if Nancy didn’t have an arsenal, even if she had one pistol, or no guns at all, it’s highly likely to me that Adam would’ve found a way to kill her at the very least. It’s worth it to figure out where the system broke down, even if the answer is that the system did nearly everything right, but could not penetrate the unfortunate situation of an overwhelmed parent in denial about her child’s problems.
posted by savetheclocktower at 9:01 AM on November 24, 2014
(I do not claim that’s what the report states; just saying that even if there’s no failure that’s actionable on the part of government, the report is worth writing.)
posted by savetheclocktower at 9:01 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by savetheclocktower at 9:01 AM on November 24, 2014
"I also wonder what the point of the report is: mental problems, autism or not, without guns no murder spree"
Uhm, murder sprees happen even without guns. Just look at all of the school massacres in China or that UCSB student who was the son of a director who killed a few people in Isla Vista. Not Elliot Rodger, the other guy, from 2001. Or the biggest school massacre in U.S. history, the Bath School massacre. Just because somebody doesn't have access to guns doesn't mean they won't go on a murder spree.
EDIT: Just remembered that Elliot Rodger killed his 3 roommates with knives. So, yeah, saying "no guns, no murder" is pretty weird.
posted by I-baLL at 9:07 AM on November 24, 2014
Uhm, murder sprees happen even without guns. Just look at all of the school massacres in China or that UCSB student who was the son of a director who killed a few people in Isla Vista. Not Elliot Rodger, the other guy, from 2001. Or the biggest school massacre in U.S. history, the Bath School massacre. Just because somebody doesn't have access to guns doesn't mean they won't go on a murder spree.
EDIT: Just remembered that Elliot Rodger killed his 3 roommates with knives. So, yeah, saying "no guns, no murder" is pretty weird.
posted by I-baLL at 9:07 AM on November 24, 2014
I think the point is that we used to lock up people like this. Now we don't, because we're all special snowflakes, and these are the consequences (not saying the old way was better).
posted by Melismata at 9:09 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by Melismata at 9:09 AM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
while mental illness plays only a small role in violence in America
Can this possibly be true? Ask anyone who works in a jail and they'll tell you that 70% of their prisoners have mental health problems and that they've become the de facto mental health caregivers for each area.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:11 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
Can this possibly be true? Ask anyone who works in a jail and they'll tell you that 70% of their prisoners have mental health problems and that they've become the de facto mental health caregivers for each area.
posted by small_ruminant at 9:11 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
Yeah, small_ruminant, that rubbed the wrong way with me too especially since there's a pretty popular theory these days that the reason for the dramatic drop in violent crime in recent decades could be attributed to the reduction of lead in our environment.
posted by I-baLL at 9:15 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by I-baLL at 9:15 AM on November 24, 2014
A lot of people in American jails have mental health issues, but most of them aren't there for violent crimes.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:16 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I think the point is that we used to lock up people like this.The basic theme of the report is that almost everyone was complicit in denying the extent of Adam Lanza's problems. I don't see any reason to think that would have been any less true in the bad old days of long-term forced hospitalization.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 9:16 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
In terms of over-siloing of services (as mentioned in the report), what's the solution there? Communicating mental health records across differing agencies, hell even between different offices in the same field can be incredibly difficult (due to privacy laws, etc). Much less coordinating between education, health, law, etc. I can't see how you can implement that without a change of the laws, and even then implement it without much more centralized health care (which I am absolutely in favor of).
In terms of making that work, assigning a single care coordinator, who can talk to various coordinators in each realm, to make sure that everyone understands the treatment regime and to make sure that it is being upheld. But where does that person reside, and who employs them? Again, privatized healthcare seems to be a big problem here. Yet we do have medical care coordinators, to make sure that people aren't prescribed conflicting medications.
posted by X-Himy at 9:19 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
In terms of making that work, assigning a single care coordinator, who can talk to various coordinators in each realm, to make sure that everyone understands the treatment regime and to make sure that it is being upheld. But where does that person reside, and who employs them? Again, privatized healthcare seems to be a big problem here. Yet we do have medical care coordinators, to make sure that people aren't prescribed conflicting medications.
posted by X-Himy at 9:19 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
This guy says that "If we were able to magically cure schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and major depression, that would be wonderful, but overall violence would go down by only about 4 percent."
posted by leopard at 9:29 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by leopard at 9:29 AM on November 24, 2014
Yes, but that's overall violence. I think that a lot of "regular" homicides and shootings are most likely related to gang violence and are a side effect of the drug war. School massacres and such, however, do seem to be related to mental health and bullying and other things.
posted by I-baLL at 9:38 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by I-baLL at 9:38 AM on November 24, 2014
Despite all the resources sought and provided, it reads like a perfect storm of neglect from the parents and the school district. A child who washes his hands raw for years receives no OCD medication. A kid who is demonstrably capable of connecting with others is encouraged to self-isolate. He's put on homebound status (which is not the same homeschooling), his mother rejects any tutoring and the school district does nothing to ensure he's getting an education. Then the compulsive dancing and anorexia.
And it could have gone on indefinitely. It was sick, but sustainable, so long as Nancy Lanza stayed on course. The trigger appears to have been her reneging on her previous commitment to providing a lifelong, enabled isolation chamber for AL. In the last months before the shootings, she's hanging out at the bar until all hours, talking about putting the house on the market and sticking him in an RV in the driveway, she goes on vacation anyway after he presents with some bloody (staged?) accident on the eve of her departure...
What happened to making sure Adam was comfortable at all costs? Maybe the person who snapped was Nancy Lanza.
posted by Scram at 9:43 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
And it could have gone on indefinitely. It was sick, but sustainable, so long as Nancy Lanza stayed on course. The trigger appears to have been her reneging on her previous commitment to providing a lifelong, enabled isolation chamber for AL. In the last months before the shootings, she's hanging out at the bar until all hours, talking about putting the house on the market and sticking him in an RV in the driveway, she goes on vacation anyway after he presents with some bloody (staged?) accident on the eve of her departure...
What happened to making sure Adam was comfortable at all costs? Maybe the person who snapped was Nancy Lanza.
posted by Scram at 9:43 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
This morning there were a few opinion pieces that tried to put the blame on "white Privilege", believing that if AL were black that DCF would have stepped in, but because he wasn't the "officials" deferred to "Mother knows best". Without reading through I am not clear if DCF was ever involved, If doctors became concerned when mom decided that AL wouldn't be taking his meds, if other meds were prescribed...
posted by Gungho at 9:46 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Gungho at 9:46 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I agree that this sounds like "a perfect storm of neglect" on everyone's part - but I don't think that it's right to heap all the blame on Nancy Lanza. Adam wasn't born from parthenogenesis; he had a father, too, and I blame Mr. Lanza for being a weekend dad, and leaving all of Adam's problems up to Mrs. Lanza to deal with. Mr. Lanza is just as culpable as Mrs. Lanza was.
You can divorce your spouse, but you don't get to divorce your child.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 9:52 AM on November 24, 2014 [13 favorites]
You can divorce your spouse, but you don't get to divorce your child.
posted by Rosie M. Banks at 9:52 AM on November 24, 2014 [13 favorites]
Agreed, Rosie M. Banks. And it's interesting that the Lanzas separated, but did not divorce until Adam was 18.
posted by Scram at 10:02 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by Scram at 10:02 AM on November 24, 2014
X-Himy: "In terms of over-siloing of services (as mentioned in the report), what's the solution there?"
I think you are right that it will require a change in laws -- which is one of the things this report by a state agency can help spur -- but I think it is so necessary. With my son receiving special ed, I am just knocked over with how I, as the parent, am expected to be an expert care coordinator among medical, psychological, therapeutic, and educational resources for complicated conditions that I don't understand because I am not a pediatrician with expertise in abnormal development! But here I am spending days on end on the phone talking to this office and that one, trying to get records sent here, referrals sent there, with specialist doctors with 12 years' training asking me to explain another specialist doctor's diagnosis, or educators with expertise in children with special developmental needs wanting me to interface between them and the doctors. And it's super-important that parents be looped in to these decisions and all, but I am better-equipped than 99.9% of parents to serve in this role of "child services coordinator" (with my high degree of literacy in English and my advanced degrees and my stay-at-home mom status and my health insurance and my unusual background on the school board and my support network of friends and family that includes pediatricians, educational lawyers, superintendents, special ed teachers, etc., who can explain things to me when I don't understand) and I have no fucking idea what I'm doing and I find this whole process frustrating, upsetting, emotional, and opaque. At his most recent IEP meeting there were TWELVE school professionals at the meeting and I was supposed to be absorbing all the information from all these areas of expertise, and transmitting it to three different teams of doctors, and ... I just can't even.
And then you think of parents like Nancy Lanza who are functioning without a strong support system and who have their own problems. Or you think of a parent with limited English, or limited literacy, or two jobs to keep food on the table. Or a parent whose child has serious, complicated problems (my kid's are complicated, but not very serious). Or even just someone who is timid about confronting bureaucrats -- being a special ed parent requires an endless patience for bureaucracy and an endless willingness to escalate within that bureaucracy, which a lot of people are simply not emotionally suited to do! I am doing a shitty job at this work, and I have almost the largest possible array of resources to bring to bear (including a deep inner desire to stick it to the man at all possible junctures so I don't mind fighting with the man).
Anyway, a care coordinator who had access to all of my child's records and who came to these meetings with me would be MAGIC. Probably I'd put them in the state Medicaid office, since developmental issues (which include virtually all educational problems) are handled through Medicaid already in a lot of cases. I have a friend who's considering leaving her job as an engineer because her daughter's epilepsy requires so much care coordination and management. It's not the actual caring for her daughter, which they have pretty well sorted out -- it's the arranging the 8 zillion appointments and meds and whatnot that is killing her career.
Gungho: "This morning there were a few opinion pieces that tried to put the blame on "white Privilege", believing that if AL were black that DCF would have stepped in, but because he wasn't the "officials" deferred to "Mother knows best"."
There are definitely complicated race and class issues around DCF involvement, and middle-class white parents with private resources are much better able to avoid DCF involvement for far longer periods of time. It's a fair question to consider.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:04 AM on November 24, 2014 [17 favorites]
I think you are right that it will require a change in laws -- which is one of the things this report by a state agency can help spur -- but I think it is so necessary. With my son receiving special ed, I am just knocked over with how I, as the parent, am expected to be an expert care coordinator among medical, psychological, therapeutic, and educational resources for complicated conditions that I don't understand because I am not a pediatrician with expertise in abnormal development! But here I am spending days on end on the phone talking to this office and that one, trying to get records sent here, referrals sent there, with specialist doctors with 12 years' training asking me to explain another specialist doctor's diagnosis, or educators with expertise in children with special developmental needs wanting me to interface between them and the doctors. And it's super-important that parents be looped in to these decisions and all, but I am better-equipped than 99.9% of parents to serve in this role of "child services coordinator" (with my high degree of literacy in English and my advanced degrees and my stay-at-home mom status and my health insurance and my unusual background on the school board and my support network of friends and family that includes pediatricians, educational lawyers, superintendents, special ed teachers, etc., who can explain things to me when I don't understand) and I have no fucking idea what I'm doing and I find this whole process frustrating, upsetting, emotional, and opaque. At his most recent IEP meeting there were TWELVE school professionals at the meeting and I was supposed to be absorbing all the information from all these areas of expertise, and transmitting it to three different teams of doctors, and ... I just can't even.
And then you think of parents like Nancy Lanza who are functioning without a strong support system and who have their own problems. Or you think of a parent with limited English, or limited literacy, or two jobs to keep food on the table. Or a parent whose child has serious, complicated problems (my kid's are complicated, but not very serious). Or even just someone who is timid about confronting bureaucrats -- being a special ed parent requires an endless patience for bureaucracy and an endless willingness to escalate within that bureaucracy, which a lot of people are simply not emotionally suited to do! I am doing a shitty job at this work, and I have almost the largest possible array of resources to bring to bear (including a deep inner desire to stick it to the man at all possible junctures so I don't mind fighting with the man).
Anyway, a care coordinator who had access to all of my child's records and who came to these meetings with me would be MAGIC. Probably I'd put them in the state Medicaid office, since developmental issues (which include virtually all educational problems) are handled through Medicaid already in a lot of cases. I have a friend who's considering leaving her job as an engineer because her daughter's epilepsy requires so much care coordination and management. It's not the actual caring for her daughter, which they have pretty well sorted out -- it's the arranging the 8 zillion appointments and meds and whatnot that is killing her career.
Gungho: "This morning there were a few opinion pieces that tried to put the blame on "white Privilege", believing that if AL were black that DCF would have stepped in, but because he wasn't the "officials" deferred to "Mother knows best"."
There are definitely complicated race and class issues around DCF involvement, and middle-class white parents with private resources are much better able to avoid DCF involvement for far longer periods of time. It's a fair question to consider.
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 10:04 AM on November 24, 2014 [17 favorites]
I-baLL, the quote that "rubbed the wrong way with you" said that "mental illness plays only a small role in violence in America." Or as you may want to put it, "overall violence."
I agree with you that the subset of violence that is linked to mental illness is indeed probably very hard to separate from mental illness.
posted by leopard at 10:06 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I agree with you that the subset of violence that is linked to mental illness is indeed probably very hard to separate from mental illness.
posted by leopard at 10:06 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Although as mentioned above, only Peter Lanza gets to explain himself after the fact, the article by Andrew Solomon in the New Yorker after six long interviews with Mr. Lanza makes this all the more tragic. How do you connect with an adult child who does not wish to communicate with you? Peter could only affer so much if he son would not answer and his ex-wife acted as gatekeeper.
White privilege? More like a giant cushion of money. Money allowed Nancy Lanza the time and resources to keep Adam in precisely the cocoon we wanted to be in.
posted by readery at 10:07 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
White privilege? More like a giant cushion of money. Money allowed Nancy Lanza the time and resources to keep Adam in precisely the cocoon we wanted to be in.
posted by readery at 10:07 AM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
It's a fair question to consider.
The racial angle seems a little disingenuous here since people usually use whites with resources as a "normal" benchmark and argue that black people are less able to avoid the DCF because of systemic racism (and of course that's true).
It's kind of like the "racism" explanation for why suddenly everyone believes that Bill Cosby is a rapist -- apparently if he was white then people would be more reluctant to believe his accusers. But what about the fact that Cosby coasted by untarnished for decades? Oh, that's racism too, because he made white people feel good about race. I mean, is the point to actually explain things, or is it to leverage the omnipresent racism in American society to score points in opinion pieces?
posted by leopard at 10:21 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
The racial angle seems a little disingenuous here since people usually use whites with resources as a "normal" benchmark and argue that black people are less able to avoid the DCF because of systemic racism (and of course that's true).
It's kind of like the "racism" explanation for why suddenly everyone believes that Bill Cosby is a rapist -- apparently if he was white then people would be more reluctant to believe his accusers. But what about the fact that Cosby coasted by untarnished for decades? Oh, that's racism too, because he made white people feel good about race. I mean, is the point to actually explain things, or is it to leverage the omnipresent racism in American society to score points in opinion pieces?
posted by leopard at 10:21 AM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
How do you connect with an adult child who does not wish to communicate with you? Peter could only affer so much if he son would not answer and his ex-wife acted as gatekeeper.At that point, I agree, there probably wasn't much he could do. But he seems to have ceded decision-making about his son's care to his estranged wife much earlier than that, and he does bear some responsibility for that, I think. He seems to have wanted much more intensive intervention and to have pushed for the Yale evaluation when Adam Lanza was 14, and when his wife refused to comply with the Yale people's recommendations, he could have insisted. He could have gone to court for medical custody when it became clear that she refused to accept the extent of their son's disabilities. He didn't have to let his troubled, overwhelmed wife call all of the shots. I realize that hindsight is 20/20, and it feels cruel to blame someone who has suffered such a painful loss, but I think there are things that he could have and in retrospect should have done. And I think there's some truth to the idea that he gets let off the hook because we don't necessarily expect fathers to be engaged parents.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 10:49 AM on November 24, 2014 [6 favorites]
Ugh. "AL’s parents (and the school) appeared to conceptualize him as intellectually gifted, and much of AL’s high school experience catered to his curricular needs. In actuality, psychological testing performed by the school district in high school indicated AL’s cognitive abilities were average."
The article later gets into more depth about the cognitive testing, noting that he performed really well on some tasks like attention and memory tasks but poorly on others. I don't know that this is inconsistent with the idea of someone with a developmental disorder but specific academic gifts.
posted by atoxyl at 10:59 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
The article later gets into more depth about the cognitive testing, noting that he performed really well on some tasks like attention and memory tasks but poorly on others. I don't know that this is inconsistent with the idea of someone with a developmental disorder but specific academic gifts.
posted by atoxyl at 10:59 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
And I think there's some truth to the idea that he gets let off the hook because we don't necessarily expect fathers to be engaged parents
And there's some truth to the idea that maybe he didn't try harder (although according to the NYer article, he tried hard enough) because he knew he'd be ignored, because we always assume that mother knows best.
posted by Melismata at 11:07 AM on November 24, 2014
And there's some truth to the idea that maybe he didn't try harder (although according to the NYer article, he tried hard enough) because he knew he'd be ignored, because we always assume that mother knows best.
posted by Melismata at 11:07 AM on November 24, 2014
Just look at all of the school massacres in China...
Well, let's look, shall we? From 2010-2012, there were ten major incidents with a total casualty rate of 25 dead and 115 injured. These were anomalous events, not part of a longer-term pattern anyone has readily identified.
In the same period in the United States, a country with about a third of China's population, left 57 total dead and 39 injured across 32 separate shooting incidents. And this is part of a longer pattern. In fact, since September of 2010, we've had an average of one school shooting incident per month per year.
Sandy Hook alone left 28 dead, more than all ten of the attacks in China.
Oh, yeah, and the Bath School killer of...1927, well before the era of modern spree killings? Just prior to his attack, he bought a rifle along with those explosives, and used it to kill his wife and then himself. Elliot Rodgers? He also bought a load of guns, which he used to carry out three more killings and wound thirteen others. And while the other incident that year involved vehicular homicide -- 4 dead, 1 injured -- 2013 saw a shooting spree in nearby Santa Monica that left five dead and four others injured.
Spree violence may not be distinctive to the U.S., but the frequency of incidents and the lethality of major incidents is essentially unequalled. And while even mass murder doesn't require a gun, mass murder seems a lot more frequent in the land of the gun.
posted by kewb at 11:09 AM on November 24, 2014 [8 favorites]
Well, let's look, shall we? From 2010-2012, there were ten major incidents with a total casualty rate of 25 dead and 115 injured. These were anomalous events, not part of a longer-term pattern anyone has readily identified.
In the same period in the United States, a country with about a third of China's population, left 57 total dead and 39 injured across 32 separate shooting incidents. And this is part of a longer pattern. In fact, since September of 2010, we've had an average of one school shooting incident per month per year.
Sandy Hook alone left 28 dead, more than all ten of the attacks in China.
Oh, yeah, and the Bath School killer of...1927, well before the era of modern spree killings? Just prior to his attack, he bought a rifle along with those explosives, and used it to kill his wife and then himself. Elliot Rodgers? He also bought a load of guns, which he used to carry out three more killings and wound thirteen others. And while the other incident that year involved vehicular homicide -- 4 dead, 1 injured -- 2013 saw a shooting spree in nearby Santa Monica that left five dead and four others injured.
Spree violence may not be distinctive to the U.S., but the frequency of incidents and the lethality of major incidents is essentially unequalled. And while even mass murder doesn't require a gun, mass murder seems a lot more frequent in the land of the gun.
posted by kewb at 11:09 AM on November 24, 2014 [8 favorites]
And kids from his "Tech Club" recall being impressed by his knowledge and math skills. It's just we already knew he had deficits I don't really see why all these people have to be wrong in getting the impression that he also had strengths.
posted by atoxyl at 11:10 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by atoxyl at 11:10 AM on November 24, 2014
Oh ok I see that particular characterization of mismatched expectations of ability is from the Yale evaluation. Enough comments for now sorry.
posted by atoxyl at 11:17 AM on November 24, 2014
posted by atoxyl at 11:17 AM on November 24, 2014
kewb: I'm not sure what point you're making. I was responding to MartinWisse's comment:
"I also wonder what the point of the report is: mental problems, autism or not, without guns no murder spree."
My point is that without guns there can still be murder sprees.
posted by I-baLL at 11:17 AM on November 24, 2014
"I also wonder what the point of the report is: mental problems, autism or not, without guns no murder spree."
My point is that without guns there can still be murder sprees.
posted by I-baLL at 11:17 AM on November 24, 2014
Not really sure why people are saying the report doesn't address guns. It addresses that issue right in the introduction, on page 3, and went to some pains to do so even though doing that explicitly overstepped their remit:
In January, 2013, the Office of the Child Advocate was directed by the Connecticut Child Fatality Review Panel to prepare a report that would focus on Adam Lanza... The charge was to develop any recommendations for public health system improvement that emanated from the review.
It was not the primary purpose of this investigation to explicitly examine the role of guns in the Sandy Hook shootings. However, the conclusion cannot be avoided that access to guns is relevant to an examination of ways to improve the public health. Access to assault weapons with high capacity magazines did play a major role in this and other mass shootings in recent history. Our emphasis on AL’s developmental trajectory and issues of mental illness should not be understood to mean that these issues were considered more important than access to these weapons or that we do not consider such access to be a critical public health issue.
Emphasis mine.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:41 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
In January, 2013, the Office of the Child Advocate was directed by the Connecticut Child Fatality Review Panel to prepare a report that would focus on Adam Lanza... The charge was to develop any recommendations for public health system improvement that emanated from the review.
It was not the primary purpose of this investigation to explicitly examine the role of guns in the Sandy Hook shootings. However, the conclusion cannot be avoided that access to guns is relevant to an examination of ways to improve the public health. Access to assault weapons with high capacity magazines did play a major role in this and other mass shootings in recent history. Our emphasis on AL’s developmental trajectory and issues of mental illness should not be understood to mean that these issues were considered more important than access to these weapons or that we do not consider such access to be a critical public health issue.
Emphasis mine.
posted by DarlingBri at 11:41 AM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I also wonder what the point of the report is: mental problems, autism or not, without guns no murder spree.
There have been gunless mass murders.
Anybody know what the state of public opinion is on restricting gun ownership for medicated individuals? Is there any daylight there or is it lumped in with blanket restrictions? It seems like a delicate balance, you don't want to encourage people that need treatment to not get it because it would restrict their rights to gun ownership; it's striking how many of these mass killers were receiving some form of treatment though. Perhaps requiring their doctor's approval or something might be a reasonable step.
posted by Nelson69 at 12:11 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
There have been gunless mass murders.
Anybody know what the state of public opinion is on restricting gun ownership for medicated individuals? Is there any daylight there or is it lumped in with blanket restrictions? It seems like a delicate balance, you don't want to encourage people that need treatment to not get it because it would restrict their rights to gun ownership; it's striking how many of these mass killers were receiving some form of treatment though. Perhaps requiring their doctor's approval or something might be a reasonable step.
posted by Nelson69 at 12:11 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
After I presented him with the Snopes article...
Snopes is pretty well know to be complicit with, if not an active arm of the conspirators who are out to rule the world. Name a conspiracy and they'll present "proof" it doesn't exist. It is probably the least convincing source you could ever provide to a conspiracy enthusiast.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 12:40 PM on November 24, 2014
Snopes is pretty well know to be complicit with, if not an active arm of the conspirators who are out to rule the world. Name a conspiracy and they'll present "proof" it doesn't exist. It is probably the least convincing source you could ever provide to a conspiracy enthusiast.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 12:40 PM on November 24, 2014
Anybody know what the state of public opinion is on restricting gun ownership for medicated individuals?
I believe the NRA's position is something like "NO MAKING ANY LISTS OF ANY PEOPLE WHO AREN'T ALLOWED TO BUY GUNS 'MERICA! 'MERICA!"
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:01 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I believe the NRA's position is something like "NO MAKING ANY LISTS OF ANY PEOPLE WHO AREN'T ALLOWED TO BUY GUNS 'MERICA! 'MERICA!"
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:01 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Anybody know what the state of public opinion is on restricting gun ownership for medicated individuals? Is there any daylight there or is it lumped in with blanket restrictions? It seems like a delicate balance, you don't want to encourage people that need treatment to not get it because it would restrict their rights to gun ownership; it's striking how many of these mass killers were receiving some form of treatment though. Perhaps requiring their doctor's approval or something might be a reasonable step.
* Most people on psychiatric medications (I assume that's what you mean by "medicated") are not dangerous.
* Mental health disorders are already stigmatized, and Western society has a long history of needlessly and often cruelly restricting the civil rights of people with mental health disorders.
* Psychiatrists, therapists, and other doctors cannot in any real way guarantee that any particular client is not or will never be a danger to themselves or others. Asking them to do so will also greatly increase their liability.
I am fairly anti-gun, but I think this is a situation in which restricting gun rights only for this particular group of individuals is a non-starter for actual good reasons.
posted by jaguar at 1:14 PM on November 24, 2014 [9 favorites]
* Most people on psychiatric medications (I assume that's what you mean by "medicated") are not dangerous.
* Mental health disorders are already stigmatized, and Western society has a long history of needlessly and often cruelly restricting the civil rights of people with mental health disorders.
* Psychiatrists, therapists, and other doctors cannot in any real way guarantee that any particular client is not or will never be a danger to themselves or others. Asking them to do so will also greatly increase their liability.
I am fairly anti-gun, but I think this is a situation in which restricting gun rights only for this particular group of individuals is a non-starter for actual good reasons.
posted by jaguar at 1:14 PM on November 24, 2014 [9 favorites]
My son is five years old and in kindergarten.
He came from school the other day and told me about all of the drills they have at school: tornado, fire, and "stranger danger."
Do you know what a "stranger danger" drill is? They turn off the lights, lock the door, and hide against the wall nearest the hallway very quietly so that someone looking through the window in the door will think the classroom is empty.
I realized quickly that this was the kindergarten class's plan for how to respond to a shooter.
I am, I guess, grateful that my kid's school has a plan for what to do if a maniac enters the school intent on murdering a bunch of children. But I am absolutely fucking horrified that he has to be a kid in an era where that is fucking necessary.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:58 PM on November 24, 2014 [8 favorites]
He came from school the other day and told me about all of the drills they have at school: tornado, fire, and "stranger danger."
Do you know what a "stranger danger" drill is? They turn off the lights, lock the door, and hide against the wall nearest the hallway very quietly so that someone looking through the window in the door will think the classroom is empty.
I realized quickly that this was the kindergarten class's plan for how to respond to a shooter.
I am, I guess, grateful that my kid's school has a plan for what to do if a maniac enters the school intent on murdering a bunch of children. But I am absolutely fucking horrified that he has to be a kid in an era where that is fucking necessary.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:58 PM on November 24, 2014 [8 favorites]
DirtyOldTown, that is not what the concept of "stranger danger" means. Please don't tell me hiding in place has replaced teaching kids not to wander off with strangers, and not to fall for the social hacks of a potential abuser.
posted by Scram at 2:27 PM on November 24, 2014
posted by Scram at 2:27 PM on November 24, 2014
Scram, they can't very well call it a "shooting spree" drill. So they call it this and the kids know what to do.
I'm also horrified my child's school does this, but on the other hand my mother hid under her desk so as to be protected from the atomic bomb, and I knew where the fallout shelter in our school was. Different dangers for different times. At least the lockdown procedures have a shot of protecting kids from the actual danger at hand, which the fallout shelter likely did not.
posted by anastasiav at 2:30 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I'm also horrified my child's school does this, but on the other hand my mother hid under her desk so as to be protected from the atomic bomb, and I knew where the fallout shelter in our school was. Different dangers for different times. At least the lockdown procedures have a shot of protecting kids from the actual danger at hand, which the fallout shelter likely did not.
posted by anastasiav at 2:30 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Scram, they can't very well call it a "shooting spree" drill. So they call it this and the kids know what to do.
Exactly. They can't tell kids they prepping them in case some maniac comes in trying to shoot them all to death. Euphemisms--even misused ones--are better.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:34 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Exactly. They can't tell kids they prepping them in case some maniac comes in trying to shoot them all to death. Euphemisms--even misused ones--are better.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 2:34 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
My son has ASD and a constellation of learning issues that make him hard to get a handle on. He has Noverbal Learning Disorder, which means his verbal skills are quite advanced while he struggles with nonverbal skills. His IEP was an utter failure and he was not served well by high school. Fortunately he found a college with a strong disabilities program. He is simultaneously very bright and very challenged.
posted by Biblio at 4:27 PM on November 24, 2014
posted by Biblio at 4:27 PM on November 24, 2014
So my daughter is 19 months, and still not particularly verbal. She has some signs, she has one or two words, but not to the extent she should have. She doesn't use "mama" and "dada" (for instance), and she has a series of sounds she uses for "yes" and "no" that are not "yes" and "no". At her last checkup, our pediatrician got us in contact with a state program which will do an evaluation to see if she needs speech intervention.
But it's funny, because I have family members waving it off. "Bah, she's just slower. It's okay. She'll catch up. All our kids are like that." "There is NOTHING wrong with that BABY. You're WASTING your TIME." "She was 3 weeks early, right? I heard somewhere that it takes them [preemies] until 2 years to catch up."
And I'm like, but -- if there IS a problem, and the evaluation DOES catch it, wouldn't you want to?
Sometimes the inertia comes from the unshakable belief we have in our children, that we're fine, they're fine, everyone's fine, we just need time and space.
Not saying that's what happened with the Lanzas, but I've noted it in my own life -- that people don't want to see the problems, they want to believe in the status quo, and don't understand the virtue of early intervention.
(For the record: offalarklette is in all other ways a perfectly fine baby, very loving, very huggy-squeaky. Her evaluation is next Monday, and we look forward to learning what we can from it.)
posted by offalark at 4:38 PM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
But it's funny, because I have family members waving it off. "Bah, she's just slower. It's okay. She'll catch up. All our kids are like that." "There is NOTHING wrong with that BABY. You're WASTING your TIME." "She was 3 weeks early, right? I heard somewhere that it takes them [preemies] until 2 years to catch up."
And I'm like, but -- if there IS a problem, and the evaluation DOES catch it, wouldn't you want to?
Sometimes the inertia comes from the unshakable belief we have in our children, that we're fine, they're fine, everyone's fine, we just need time and space.
Not saying that's what happened with the Lanzas, but I've noted it in my own life -- that people don't want to see the problems, they want to believe in the status quo, and don't understand the virtue of early intervention.
(For the record: offalarklette is in all other ways a perfectly fine baby, very loving, very huggy-squeaky. Her evaluation is next Monday, and we look forward to learning what we can from it.)
posted by offalark at 4:38 PM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
What happened to making sure Adam was comfortable at all costs? Maybe the person who snapped was Nancy Lanza.
And if she did, who can blame her, because my god what that woman went through. Scram, did you read the whole report? She devoted her whole life to trying to do right as she saw it by her son. She was misguided, it appears, but I do not think you could call her neglectful by any stretch.
it reads like a perfect storm of neglect from the parents and the school district. A child who washes his hands raw for years receives no OCD medication.
The advice of the Yale psychiatrist who apparently was most insightful and prescient about the long-term effects on Adam Lanza (and his mother) without significant change to his treatment (pp 49-52)--that advice was sought by Mr Lanza apparently with Mrs Lanza's support. It looks like that psychiatrist was hamstrung by Adam's complete refusal to accept medication and by Mrs Lanza's fears of excerbating his problems through participation in a clinical trial group.
You can't call it parental neglect if a adolescent completely refuses medication, can you? What are you going to do, commit him, or force-feed him the pills? It seems like Mrs Lanza was insistent that she best understood her son and his needs and what would stress him out too much; but it can hardly be argued that she didn't go to immense lengths herself trying to meet his needs as she saw them.
The trigger appears to have been her reneging on her previous commitment to providing a lifelong, enabled isolation chamber for AL. In the last months before the shootings, she's hanging out at the bar until all hours, talking about putting the house on the market and sticking him in an RV in the driveway, she goes on vacation
That just seems like a really tendentious characterization of a desperate woman's actions while she continued to try to care for her son in an impossible situation. She didn't renege on her commitment; she proposed moving WITH him. She wasn't going to "stick him in an RV"; she planned to purchase an RV to spare him the stress of buyer house tours. She "went on vacation"? Who could fault her for that after caring for this boy/man for two decades? Who could fault her for frequenting a bar for that matter? Good lord not me.
The report mainly characterizes Nancy Lanza as stubborn and wrongheaded at times and her husband as helpless, but I don't think it suggests either of them was neglectful.
My two takeaways after reading all that are, 1) wow what a living hell Nancy Lanza's life was; and 2) Adam Lanza was the last person on earth who should have had access to guns.
posted by torticat at 5:42 PM on November 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
And if she did, who can blame her, because my god what that woman went through. Scram, did you read the whole report? She devoted her whole life to trying to do right as she saw it by her son. She was misguided, it appears, but I do not think you could call her neglectful by any stretch.
it reads like a perfect storm of neglect from the parents and the school district. A child who washes his hands raw for years receives no OCD medication.
The advice of the Yale psychiatrist who apparently was most insightful and prescient about the long-term effects on Adam Lanza (and his mother) without significant change to his treatment (pp 49-52)--that advice was sought by Mr Lanza apparently with Mrs Lanza's support. It looks like that psychiatrist was hamstrung by Adam's complete refusal to accept medication and by Mrs Lanza's fears of excerbating his problems through participation in a clinical trial group.
You can't call it parental neglect if a adolescent completely refuses medication, can you? What are you going to do, commit him, or force-feed him the pills? It seems like Mrs Lanza was insistent that she best understood her son and his needs and what would stress him out too much; but it can hardly be argued that she didn't go to immense lengths herself trying to meet his needs as she saw them.
The trigger appears to have been her reneging on her previous commitment to providing a lifelong, enabled isolation chamber for AL. In the last months before the shootings, she's hanging out at the bar until all hours, talking about putting the house on the market and sticking him in an RV in the driveway, she goes on vacation
That just seems like a really tendentious characterization of a desperate woman's actions while she continued to try to care for her son in an impossible situation. She didn't renege on her commitment; she proposed moving WITH him. She wasn't going to "stick him in an RV"; she planned to purchase an RV to spare him the stress of buyer house tours. She "went on vacation"? Who could fault her for that after caring for this boy/man for two decades? Who could fault her for frequenting a bar for that matter? Good lord not me.
The report mainly characterizes Nancy Lanza as stubborn and wrongheaded at times and her husband as helpless, but I don't think it suggests either of them was neglectful.
My two takeaways after reading all that are, 1) wow what a living hell Nancy Lanza's life was; and 2) Adam Lanza was the last person on earth who should have had access to guns.
posted by torticat at 5:42 PM on November 24, 2014 [5 favorites]
Also, from earlier in the thread:
Why did they decide to only refer to Adam by initialisms after the first mention? Is that the norm for this type of report?
I almost had the impression it was a way of not doing him the honor of naming him. The introduction where it says he will be called "AL" immediately follows the list of victims' names, and the "AL" bit immediately precedes the rather odd statement: "Additionally, because the work of this report tracks AL from birth to the mass shooting the authors described AL in what appear to be human terms."
It reads strangely though; I kept thinking of HAL, an unfortunate mental connection.
posted by torticat at 5:49 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Why did they decide to only refer to Adam by initialisms after the first mention? Is that the norm for this type of report?
I almost had the impression it was a way of not doing him the honor of naming him. The introduction where it says he will be called "AL" immediately follows the list of victims' names, and the "AL" bit immediately precedes the rather odd statement: "Additionally, because the work of this report tracks AL from birth to the mass shooting the authors described AL in what appear to be human terms."
It reads strangely though; I kept thinking of HAL, an unfortunate mental connection.
posted by torticat at 5:49 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
I agree that this sounds like "a perfect storm of neglect" on everyone's part - but I don't think that it's right to heap all the blame on Nancy Lanza. Adam wasn't born from parthenogenesis; he had a father, too, and I blame Mr. Lanza for being a weekend dad, and leaving all of Adam's problems up to Mrs. Lanza to deal with. Mr. Lanza is just as culpable as Mrs. Lanza was.
No doubt that Peter Lanza was a ridiculously inadequate father to an extremely troubled teenager.
posted by discopolo at 5:59 PM on November 24, 2014
No doubt that Peter Lanza was a ridiculously inadequate father to an extremely troubled teenager.
posted by discopolo at 5:59 PM on November 24, 2014
My daughter was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder after a suicide attempt. She was 15 at the time. I had suspected that she was bipolar from the age of 10 or so. My husband was in denial. Even though she was violent toward both of us. I read all the books I could, I took her to as many therapists as I could, but I could not get the help our family needed. Unless you have been in that situation, it is easy to decide that the parents were terrible. Maybe so, maybe not. My ex is a wonderful man and a great father in many ways. But he was unwilling or unable to accept the idea that our daughter was mentally ill. He still gets angry if I use the phrase "bipolar disorder". He prefers "mood disorder." Maybe a year ago he told our daughter that he didn't believe she was still ill. And she said, then why am I on medication? And he said, because it makes you feel better. And she said, better from what? He couldn't give her an answer.
posted by Bella Donna at 7:17 PM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Bella Donna at 7:17 PM on November 24, 2014 [4 favorites]
Every few months one of my more hippie oriented FB friends posts an image platitude calling on parents not to prepare their kids for the harsh world, but instead to prepare the world for their kids.
Turns out that might not be the best idea.
posted by ocschwar at 7:31 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Turns out that might not be the best idea.
posted by ocschwar at 7:31 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
Unless you have been in that situation, it is easy to decide that the parents were terrible.
I have a hard time believing that if your kid had been 6'0 and 112 lbs, you wouldn't have gotten her hospitalized, involuntarily at least for an eating disorder. Especially if there was enough money for treatment.
posted by discopolo at 7:59 PM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
I have a hard time believing that if your kid had been 6'0 and 112 lbs, you wouldn't have gotten her hospitalized, involuntarily at least for an eating disorder. Especially if there was enough money for treatment.
posted by discopolo at 7:59 PM on November 24, 2014 [2 favorites]
And the mom faking MS? Someone explain that to me. Who does that kind of thing?
I'm not sure what you're alluding to, but the Raising Adam Lanza Frontline addresses Nancy Lanza's health issues in passing:
AL had pretty classic fragile x face (compare the illustration in the wiki link in the paragraph above with the AL file photo in the first link in this paragraph), and the progression from his appearance in his Reed Intermediate School days seems to mirror typical fragile X progression.
And fragile X is considered to be the cause of a significant fraction of cases of autism:
posted by jamjam at 8:21 PM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'm not sure what you're alluding to, but the Raising Adam Lanza Frontline addresses Nancy Lanza's health issues in passing:
The emails at one point do turn a little dark. She does talk about how she was ailing. She doesn’t specify what her disease is. But on Thursday, July 1st, 1999, she writes, “My diagnosis was not good. There isn’t a fancy name for my problem, just a genetically flawed autoimmune system. When it happened to my grandfather, it was so quick that nothing could be done. Six weeks. It’s like living on top of a time bomb. I have told VERY few people”— and she highlights “very” in all caps — “and have not told even some people in my family to try to save people from unnecessary worry.”"There isn’t a fancy name for my problem, just a genetically flawed autoimmune system" doesn't sound like MS, but it may fit with a genetically determined maternal autoimmune condition associated with something I've been wondering about concerning Adam Lanza: fragile X syndrome.
NARRATOR: It has been reported Nancy had multiple sclerosis, but FRONTLINE and The Hartford Courant were unable to confirm.
AL had pretty classic fragile x face (compare the illustration in the wiki link in the paragraph above with the AL file photo in the first link in this paragraph), and the progression from his appearance in his Reed Intermediate School days seems to mirror typical fragile X progression.
And fragile X is considered to be the cause of a significant fraction of cases of autism:
Fragile X syndrome co-occurs with autism in about 5% of cases and is a suspected genetic cause of the autism in these cases.[3][10] This finding has resulted in screening for FMR1 mutation to be considered mandatory in children diagnosed with autism.[3] Of those with fragile X syndrome, prevalence of concurrent autism spectrum disorder (ASD) has been estimated to be between 15 and 60%, with the variation due to differences in diagnostic methods and the high frequency of autistic features in individuals with fragile X syndrome not meeting the DSM criteria for an ASD.[10]Mothers of boys with fragile X are often less affected carriers of the fragile X gene, but that carrier status has been associated with a form of PCOS having autoimmune features, and I'd guess that was Nancy Lanza's genetic autoimmune problem -- though it's certainly not likely to have killed her grandfather!
posted by jamjam at 8:21 PM on November 24, 2014 [3 favorites]
The report says that Nancy Lanza told people she had MS, but her doctor said there was no evidence of any sort of autoimmune or neurological disorder and Lanza did not seem to have consulted any neurologist.
It doesn't seem to be specified whether she was knowingly pretending she had MS or actually erroneously believed that she did (unless that's later in the report; I've only gotten up to his middle school years). There seems to be a pattern, at least, of ignoring professionals' recommendations and opinions, both for herself and for her son.
posted by jaguar at 8:28 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
It doesn't seem to be specified whether she was knowingly pretending she had MS or actually erroneously believed that she did (unless that's later in the report; I've only gotten up to his middle school years). There seems to be a pattern, at least, of ignoring professionals' recommendations and opinions, both for herself and for her son.
posted by jaguar at 8:28 PM on November 24, 2014 [1 favorite]
It doesn't seem to be specified whether she was knowingly pretending she had MS or actually erroneously believed that she did (unless that's later in the report;
There was no evidence of it in her autopsy either. She'd told her husband she had it, as he recalled, but when she went to subsequent doctors, she never mentioned it or had any treatment for it.
It just suggests she made it up for attention of a specific kind.
AL had pretty classic fragile x face (compare the illustration in the wiki link in the paragraph above with the AL file photo in the first link in this paragraph), and the progression from his appearance in his Reed Intermediate School days seems to mirror typical fragile X progression.
Um, no. He was 6'0 and 112 lbs. He did not have Fragile X.
You ought to read the report before remarking on it. It's clear you haven't.
posted by discopolo at 1:52 AM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]
There was no evidence of it in her autopsy either. She'd told her husband she had it, as he recalled, but when she went to subsequent doctors, she never mentioned it or had any treatment for it.
It just suggests she made it up for attention of a specific kind.
AL had pretty classic fragile x face (compare the illustration in the wiki link in the paragraph above with the AL file photo in the first link in this paragraph), and the progression from his appearance in his Reed Intermediate School days seems to mirror typical fragile X progression.
Um, no. He was 6'0 and 112 lbs. He did not have Fragile X.
You ought to read the report before remarking on it. It's clear you haven't.
posted by discopolo at 1:52 AM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]
I have a hard time believing that if your kid had been 6'0 and 112 lbs, you wouldn't have gotten her hospitalized, involuntarily at least for an eating disorder. Especially if there was enough money for treatment.
There is a huge assumption here that she knew. First of all, he kid was communicating with her by email for the last two years of his life. Who knew if she saw him, or how often? Second of all, have you looked at a teenaged boy in the last 10 years? Hoodies and baggie trousers cover, well, everything. Lastly, I would point out that many a teenaged girl has been able to hide an entire pregnancy; it's not so remarkable that Adam Lanza was able to hide weight loss from his parent.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:24 AM on November 25, 2014
There is a huge assumption here that she knew. First of all, he kid was communicating with her by email for the last two years of his life. Who knew if she saw him, or how often? Second of all, have you looked at a teenaged boy in the last 10 years? Hoodies and baggie trousers cover, well, everything. Lastly, I would point out that many a teenaged girl has been able to hide an entire pregnancy; it's not so remarkable that Adam Lanza was able to hide weight loss from his parent.
posted by DarlingBri at 2:24 AM on November 25, 2014
"The report concluded that a pattern of accommodation to Lanza's mental health conditions -- rather than addressing his underlying needs -- by Nancy Lanza and certain health care providers, exacerbated Lanza's mental status."
I'm a high school special education teacher and every year we have a case like AL. EVERY year we have a student who clearly has difficulties and whose parents refuse treatment.
We've had kids JUST like AL. Kids with obvious spectrum disorders or otherwise complicated profiles, kids who are struggling mightily.
And their parents refuse services. They just want their kid to learn how to do math and English. We meet with these parents, explain the testing and the services we can provide for social skills and more. We can hook them up with clinicians and psychopharmacologists.
These parents refuse. They refuse to acknowledge their kids have disabilities and spend MORE TIME shielding these children and teens from this fact than working to treat them.
Social services can be (and have been) contacted and nothing happens. This kids aren't considered in danger and not providing support to a kid on the spectrum isn't considered negligence.
It's the worst part of teaching. We can't help kids who we know need support because their parents won't let us.
Now, when we interview students and families we ask if they have access to weapons. It's all we can do and it sucks that our mindset has shifted to, "How can we protect others in case this student flips?"
posted by kinetic at 3:16 AM on November 25, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'm a high school special education teacher and every year we have a case like AL. EVERY year we have a student who clearly has difficulties and whose parents refuse treatment.
We've had kids JUST like AL. Kids with obvious spectrum disorders or otherwise complicated profiles, kids who are struggling mightily.
And their parents refuse services. They just want their kid to learn how to do math and English. We meet with these parents, explain the testing and the services we can provide for social skills and more. We can hook them up with clinicians and psychopharmacologists.
These parents refuse. They refuse to acknowledge their kids have disabilities and spend MORE TIME shielding these children and teens from this fact than working to treat them.
Social services can be (and have been) contacted and nothing happens. This kids aren't considered in danger and not providing support to a kid on the spectrum isn't considered negligence.
It's the worst part of teaching. We can't help kids who we know need support because their parents won't let us.
Now, when we interview students and families we ask if they have access to weapons. It's all we can do and it sucks that our mindset has shifted to, "How can we protect others in case this student flips?"
posted by kinetic at 3:16 AM on November 25, 2014 [3 favorites]
I'm a high school special education teacher and every year we have a case like AL. EVERY year we have a student who clearly has difficulties and whose parents refuse treatment.
Kinetic, I would encourage you to read the report rather than the CNN summary. Because what you are describing in your district is not what the report says happened in Adam's. The schools did NOT offer Adam an IEP that included social or emotional development. The district focused solely on his curricular needs. The report highlights this failing consistently.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:11 AM on November 25, 2014
Kinetic, I would encourage you to read the report rather than the CNN summary. Because what you are describing in your district is not what the report says happened in Adam's. The schools did NOT offer Adam an IEP that included social or emotional development. The district focused solely on his curricular needs. The report highlights this failing consistently.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:11 AM on November 25, 2014
DarlingBri, she was enabling him in a major way. She was no doubt the victim of his manipulation, and his father should have been more involved, but letting him hide away for 3 months, just keeping him comfortable and happy? She was clearly enabling him when she should have said to someone that she was way out of her depth.
I think she was a needy parent. I think she had codependency issues. I don't think she should have been Adam's guardian. But I don't think anyone was going to be able to talk any sense into her that her kid was deeply troubled and that she should stop deferring to him.
posted by discopolo at 5:12 AM on November 25, 2014
I think she was a needy parent. I think she had codependency issues. I don't think she should have been Adam's guardian. But I don't think anyone was going to be able to talk any sense into her that her kid was deeply troubled and that she should stop deferring to him.
posted by discopolo at 5:12 AM on November 25, 2014
There is a huge assumption here that she knew. First of all, he kid was communicating with her by email for the last two years of his life. Who knew if she saw him, or how often? Second of all, have you looked at a teenaged boy in the last 10 years? Hoodies and baggie trousers cover, well, everything. Lastly, I would point out that many a teenaged girl has been able to hide an entire pregnancy; it's not so remarkable that Adam Lanza was able to hide weight loss from his parent.Did you read the report? She took him to the emergency room for an emergency psych eval when he was in eighth grade. At the time, he was 5'8" and weighed 98 pounds. The doctors recommended that he be admitted for a full psychiatric evaluation and that she consider sending him to a special therapeutic school that could meet his educational and emotional needs. Instead she took him home and found a shady psychiatrist, who has since lost his license for other reasons, who was willing to write a note saying that he wasn't capable of going to school. And then he didn't go to school or get any education at all for eighth grade. That is not normal. There were other options at that point.
posted by ArbitraryAndCapricious at 5:30 AM on November 25, 2014 [3 favorites]
I would encourage you to read the report rather than the CNN summary.
I did read it.
Hospital staff recommended a therapeutic educational placement at the Center for Child and Adolescent Treatment Services (CCATS), and the hospital offered a full evaluation of him to expedite admission to the school.
Mrs. Lanza declined the additional evaluation and referral as documented by the clinical team at Danbury Hospital...
The community psychiatrist later stated that Mrs. Lanza was not interested in having AL take medication to ameliorate any of his symptoms...
...Records confirm that AL was placed on homebound status beginning in 8th grade and, at times, his family declined all district supports, including tutoring.
There's page after page of this. The school dropped the ball, but his mother refused services.
posted by kinetic at 6:32 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
I did read it.
Hospital staff recommended a therapeutic educational placement at the Center for Child and Adolescent Treatment Services (CCATS), and the hospital offered a full evaluation of him to expedite admission to the school.
Mrs. Lanza declined the additional evaluation and referral as documented by the clinical team at Danbury Hospital...
The community psychiatrist later stated that Mrs. Lanza was not interested in having AL take medication to ameliorate any of his symptoms...
...Records confirm that AL was placed on homebound status beginning in 8th grade and, at times, his family declined all district supports, including tutoring.
There's page after page of this. The school dropped the ball, but his mother refused services.
posted by kinetic at 6:32 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
Last example from the report:
In some ways, Yale surmised that this constant placation of AL may have been why he did not feel that he suffered or was otherwise debilitated by his impairments. He did not need to suffer the weight of his problems, as his primary caretaker made every effort to keep him as comfortable as possible. Mrs. Lanza had great difficulty seeing the value in pushing AL out of this comfort zone. Her comment that she was “torturing” AL during his Yale evaluation echoes her earlier comment to a school administrator that she was “abusing” AL by keeping him in the Danbury Emergency Department."
posted by kinetic at 6:42 AM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]
In some ways, Yale surmised that this constant placation of AL may have been why he did not feel that he suffered or was otherwise debilitated by his impairments. He did not need to suffer the weight of his problems, as his primary caretaker made every effort to keep him as comfortable as possible. Mrs. Lanza had great difficulty seeing the value in pushing AL out of this comfort zone. Her comment that she was “torturing” AL during his Yale evaluation echoes her earlier comment to a school administrator that she was “abusing” AL by keeping him in the Danbury Emergency Department."
posted by kinetic at 6:42 AM on November 25, 2014 [1 favorite]
It just suggests she made it up for attention of a specific kind.
There are actual psychological disorders -- Conversion Disorder being the one that jumps to mind -- in which people are having fake medical or neurological symptoms but are not consciously faking their symptoms. There can also exist a lot of gray-area places where someone becomes convinced they have a horrible disease and stay away from doctors in order to avoid getting diagnosed -- a kind of denial, I guess -- that I'm not sure is quite the same as making something up.
The way she refused recommended medical/psychiatric treatment for her son (as kinetic is citing) is such an ongoing pattern that it wouldn't surprise me if she were doing the same for herself, in some sort of panicky "too scared to deal with reality" sort of way. There just seems like layer upon layer upon layer of denial operating there.
posted by jaguar at 7:04 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
There are actual psychological disorders -- Conversion Disorder being the one that jumps to mind -- in which people are having fake medical or neurological symptoms but are not consciously faking their symptoms. There can also exist a lot of gray-area places where someone becomes convinced they have a horrible disease and stay away from doctors in order to avoid getting diagnosed -- a kind of denial, I guess -- that I'm not sure is quite the same as making something up.
The way she refused recommended medical/psychiatric treatment for her son (as kinetic is citing) is such an ongoing pattern that it wouldn't surprise me if she were doing the same for herself, in some sort of panicky "too scared to deal with reality" sort of way. There just seems like layer upon layer upon layer of denial operating there.
posted by jaguar at 7:04 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
The way she refused recommended medical/psychiatric treatment for her son (as kinetic is citing) is such an ongoing pattern that it wouldn't surprise me if she were doing the same for herself, in some sort of panicky "too scared to deal with reality" sort of way. There just seems like layer upon layer upon layer of denial operating there.
The report says her autopsy shows no sign of MS, and there's no indication through any medical testing in her record that she had MS.
Also, in her communications with friends she was building a narrative how heroic she was and how nobody knows about her MS and she's going to keep it a secret because she didn't want pity. This crafting of a narrative...well, she was clearly in need of help/support.
posted by discopolo at 10:15 AM on November 25, 2014
The report says her autopsy shows no sign of MS, and there's no indication through any medical testing in her record that she had MS.
Also, in her communications with friends she was building a narrative how heroic she was and how nobody knows about her MS and she's going to keep it a secret because she didn't want pity. This crafting of a narrative...well, she was clearly in need of help/support.
posted by discopolo at 10:15 AM on November 25, 2014
I understand she did not actually have MS. What I am saying is that we don't know if she actually believed she had MS. I have talked to numerous people who are absolutely convinced they had cancer, or HIV, or MS, based entirely on fear (and often Dr. Google); they weren't faking the disease for pity, they were dealing with immense anxiety and refusing to seek medical or psychological help.
posted by jaguar at 10:35 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by jaguar at 10:35 AM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
I thought this article was relevant, and supports kinetic's previous statement:
Research has found that upper-middle-class parents are far more likely to be resistant, defensive and even litigious when presented with treatment options suggested by school service providers, said Suniya Luthar, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University, who has written extensively on the topic of affluence and mental health.
Deferring to those parents can have grave consequences, allowing nascent problems to escalate to serious and sometimes dangerous levels, she said.
“Even though some of these parents can be very intimidating, schools need to hang tough,” she said. “If there is a psychologist, a teacher or a social worker who believes this child is headed for deep trouble, they need to be firm in advocating for the child”
posted by discopolo at 3:23 PM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
Research has found that upper-middle-class parents are far more likely to be resistant, defensive and even litigious when presented with treatment options suggested by school service providers, said Suniya Luthar, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University, who has written extensively on the topic of affluence and mental health.
Deferring to those parents can have grave consequences, allowing nascent problems to escalate to serious and sometimes dangerous levels, she said.
“Even though some of these parents can be very intimidating, schools need to hang tough,” she said. “If there is a psychologist, a teacher or a social worker who believes this child is headed for deep trouble, they need to be firm in advocating for the child”
posted by discopolo at 3:23 PM on November 25, 2014 [2 favorites]
From the quoted aforementioned article: “Suniya Luthar, a professor of psychology at Arizona State University, who has written extensively on the topic of affluence and mental health...'Even though some of these parents can be very intimidating, schools need to hang tough,' she said. 'If there is a psychologist, a teacher or a social worker who believes this child is headed for deep trouble, they need to be firm in advocating for the child.'” (emphasis mine)
We can't do shit if parents refuse services. Nothing. Our hands are tied.
I work at the type of therapeutic high school AL would have been referred to. School districts pay around $65,000 to send their kids to us because the home district doesn't have a comprehensive, therapeutic, wrap-around approach like us.
When a kid isn't attending their public high school or they're about to get expelled, districts refer the student to us, because all kids are entitled to an education. So, we get THOSE kids.
We're the last chance saloon of high schools.
We have kids who don't come to school for weeks. Their parents don't answer the phone or respond to emails. As soon as we call an official meeting because the kid is in danger of being taken off our roll and returned to public school, the kid comes to school ONCE. (And as a sidenote, the kids are heartbreakingly disturbed and yeah, often kind of scary on that one monthly day of attendance that everyone dreads.)
And then we don't see them again for weeks. All we can do is document absences and our attempts at communication.
What I'm saying is: when parents refuse services, schools are powerless. I can advocate until my face turns blue.
School systems have absolutely no course of action if a parent shuts us down. But we can (and do) ask if the kid has access to weapons and we can deny admission if the answer is yes.
I'm speaking as the safety net that's put in place for kids like AL. And when parents refuse our services, the safety net dissolves.
posted by kinetic at 2:52 AM on November 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
We can't do shit if parents refuse services. Nothing. Our hands are tied.
I work at the type of therapeutic high school AL would have been referred to. School districts pay around $65,000 to send their kids to us because the home district doesn't have a comprehensive, therapeutic, wrap-around approach like us.
When a kid isn't attending their public high school or they're about to get expelled, districts refer the student to us, because all kids are entitled to an education. So, we get THOSE kids.
We're the last chance saloon of high schools.
We have kids who don't come to school for weeks. Their parents don't answer the phone or respond to emails. As soon as we call an official meeting because the kid is in danger of being taken off our roll and returned to public school, the kid comes to school ONCE. (And as a sidenote, the kids are heartbreakingly disturbed and yeah, often kind of scary on that one monthly day of attendance that everyone dreads.)
And then we don't see them again for weeks. All we can do is document absences and our attempts at communication.
What I'm saying is: when parents refuse services, schools are powerless. I can advocate until my face turns blue.
School systems have absolutely no course of action if a parent shuts us down. But we can (and do) ask if the kid has access to weapons and we can deny admission if the answer is yes.
I'm speaking as the safety net that's put in place for kids like AL. And when parents refuse our services, the safety net dissolves.
posted by kinetic at 2:52 AM on November 26, 2014 [3 favorites]
"Uhm, murder sprees happen even without guns. Just look at all of the school massacres in China or that UCSB student who was the son of a director who killed a few people in Isla Vista. Not Elliot Rodger, the other guy, from 2001. Or the biggest school massacre in U.S. history, the Bath School massacre. Just because somebody doesn't have access to guns doesn't mean they won't go on a murder spree.
EDIT: Just remembered that Elliot Rodger killed his 3 roommates with knives. So, yeah, saying "no guns, no murder" is pretty weird."
This and a couple of the other 'don't blame guns!' arguments seem pretty callow when Adam Lanza specifically wrote his mass murder buddies about rejecting the vehicular mass murder (too impersonal) and stabbing (too few casualties, and too much personal contact) routes.
Further, they're part of a foolish argument where because reducing access to guns would only drastically curtail the ability of mass murderers to kill as many people, not eliminate their ability to murder, they're dismissed. No one ever says "no guns, no murder." The formulation is, "No guns, massive reduction in murder." It's a textbook case of the perfect being the enemy of the good.
posted by klangklangston at 8:54 AM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
EDIT: Just remembered that Elliot Rodger killed his 3 roommates with knives. So, yeah, saying "no guns, no murder" is pretty weird."
This and a couple of the other 'don't blame guns!' arguments seem pretty callow when Adam Lanza specifically wrote his mass murder buddies about rejecting the vehicular mass murder (too impersonal) and stabbing (too few casualties, and too much personal contact) routes.
Further, they're part of a foolish argument where because reducing access to guns would only drastically curtail the ability of mass murderers to kill as many people, not eliminate their ability to murder, they're dismissed. No one ever says "no guns, no murder." The formulation is, "No guns, massive reduction in murder." It's a textbook case of the perfect being the enemy of the good.
posted by klangklangston at 8:54 AM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]
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And I thought pro-Ana was bad.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 3:50 AM on November 24, 2014 [6 favorites]