Step #4: Hope it doesn't seek revenge.
November 26, 2014 10:01 AM   Subscribe

Worried that your feline house-mates will ruin Thanksgiving with their evil kitty machinations? Fear not! Once you learn How To Trap A Cat In 3 Easy Steps, you can feel safe in the knowledge that your furry ball of mischief is safely jailed by cat psychology!
posted by quin (26 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
 
I just assume that at all times both my cats are plotting to kill me, and therefore, I don't worry much about what tricks I can play on them before my inevitable mysterious death.
posted by holborne at 10:06 AM on November 26, 2014


Sometimes one step is all you need.
posted by delfin at 10:07 AM on November 26, 2014 [13 favorites]


And there's always neko nabe.
posted by Obscure Reference at 10:33 AM on November 26, 2014 [6 favorites]


I have no idea how these people got their cats wedged into circles, or why.

/Obligatory.
posted by digitalprimate at 10:36 AM on November 26, 2014 [6 favorites]


Proof that cats are evil:
The murderous glint in their eyes
They do that thing when they look they want a tummy rub, then attack you when you give them one
They sacrifice smaller animals when they want to please you
Everyone on Reddit likes them
They kill songbirds, to deprive you of a source of pleasure
They can be constrained by summoning circles
posted by Ned G at 10:37 AM on November 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


Or play online! Previously.
posted by jaguar at 10:39 AM on November 26, 2014


I have tried this with my cat multiple times and each time she's like, "awww hell no." I think it's because she's been accidentally bopped with my hoop before.

A bag, however, works perfectly.
posted by tofu_crouton at 10:44 AM on November 26, 2014


Huh. I have the day off. Back in a bit.
posted by mudpuppie at 10:47 AM on November 26, 2014


A bag, however, works perfectly.

Yup. Never fails with mine.
posted by brundlefly at 10:47 AM on November 26, 2014


It's not a circle. It's a SPOTLIGHT.
posted by Soliloquy at 11:19 AM on November 26, 2014 [15 favorites]


I have also tried this, and as you may have guessed from the "WHATCHA TAKIN' PICTURE FOR" expression on her face, it failed.

Potted plants and stainless steel sinks work better.
posted by fraula at 11:20 AM on November 26, 2014 [7 favorites]


Okay, so I have a cat who cannot pass by a box or a bag. This didn't work on her.

After she inspected the hexagonal trap itself and suspected I was up to something, she made a point of ignoring and defying me. I tried putting her food bowl in it, but the ploy didn't fool her and she again pointedly ignored me.

Now, I said she can't pass a box or a bag, but so far as I know she's never been in a basket, so I checked to see if maybe a basket would tip the scales. All it did was make her ignore me again.

I then went back to the tried and true method, and it's the one I'll stick with.
posted by mudpuppie at 11:29 AM on November 26, 2014 [19 favorites]


The secret to getting a cat to do what you want is to free yourself of all desire.
posted by srboisvert at 12:15 PM on November 26, 2014 [40 favorites]


Naughty cats are the best cats.
posted by orrnyereg at 12:21 PM on November 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


Hell yeah
posted by Greg Nog at 12:27 PM on November 26, 2014 [5 favorites]


Experiments at Casa del Michaels produced the following outcomes:

33.3% of all cats will sit in any circle you produce regardless of material used in the circle's construction.

66.6% of all cats will not sit in a circle even if you build the circle around a favorite sleeping spot.

Use these results for the betterment of humanity please.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:32 PM on November 26, 2014 [3 favorites]


This is not news to me
posted by b33j at 1:34 PM on November 26, 2014 [3 favorites]


The circle confines and reflects the cat's aura, enabling it to bask in the coziness of its own ego.
posted by NMcCoy at 2:14 PM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


A piece of paper works too. My cats would stand on a piece of paper and not move at all for upwards of 30 minutes. If there was a piece of paper on the floor, my cats would run over and stand on it. I called it "claiming countries". If there was only one "country", one would occupy it. The other, once he discovered an occupied country, would declare war and smack the desired country's occupant until they vacated. The victor would then claim the country as their own. Ad infinitum. There's only one kitty now, but he still claims every country he encounters.
posted by Cat Pie Hurts at 2:43 PM on November 26, 2014 [8 favorites]


that cat is shaped like a real-life Pusheen
posted by DoctorFedora at 3:09 PM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


I caught one, but the other one wasn't having with it.
posted by drnick at 4:24 PM on November 26, 2014 [2 favorites]


I will try this, just as soon as I can coax Rory out of his cardboard box...
posted by pompomtom at 5:02 PM on November 26, 2014


Pro tip: make your circle out of pate de foie gras.
Catch a cat every time.
posted by BlueHorse at 5:28 PM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


I tried this and I got was my Siamese pulling the tape up and eating it. :(
posted by fiercekitten at 7:25 PM on November 26, 2014 [5 favorites]


It's a cat trap kitty, and you're already caught.
posted by MartinWisse at 9:47 PM on November 26, 2014 [1 favorite]


So far a no go with my cat. He's standing close to it. Looking at it, then looking at me. I suspect he saw this on the Internet before I did.
posted by one4themoment at 3:06 PM on November 27, 2014 [4 favorites]


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