I don't believe in evolution I believe in Jibbers Crabst

December 5, 2014 3:26 PM

I don't believe in evolution I believe in Jibbers Crabst. Matt Inman gives the keynote address for BAHFest (previously) West, and explains why Darwin is wrong and why we are all the creation of a fire breathing lobster.
posted by ilama (35 comments total)

This is hilarious. I love the sign language interpreter.
posted by brundlefly at 3:28 PM on December 5, 2014 [10 favorites]

There is only one God, Jibbers Crabst, and John Zoidberg is his prophet.
posted by The Whelk at 3:32 PM on December 5, 2014 [6 favorites]

really man? lol fat people, lolxtians?
posted by beefetish at 3:37 PM on December 5, 2014 [6 favorites]

Matthew Inman commented on the youtube video saying that he wasn't aware at the time that people were laughing at the ASL interpreter during the banana spiders bit. :D
posted by surazal at 4:04 PM on December 5, 2014 [6 favorites]

This is the best thing. I really needed a laugh today. Thank you!
posted by pipoquinha at 4:07 PM on December 5, 2014

She did a really fine job of carrying audience interest through the most boring parts of his talk.
posted by fredludd at 4:08 PM on December 5, 2014 [5 favorites]

I noticed the interpreter spelled some things but had signs for most - were they all standard signs or is there some wiggle room to how things are delivered? Great example of what I'm asking about is "it gives you a boner until you die".
posted by stinkfoot at 4:12 PM on December 5, 2014 [2 favorites]

FSM will not be pleased!
posted by CrowGoat at 4:15 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I disagree with Mister Inman regarding this basic fact. Jibbers Crabst did not in fact invent the butthole and the vagina. Rather, he invented the butthole and the vulva.
posted by surazal at 4:18 PM on December 5, 2014 [5 favorites]

I thought for sure this was going to be yet another Spongebob thing. I can't decide if it was actually better or worse.
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:28 PM on December 5, 2014

stinkfoot, from what I remember there's a bit of play with how you can sign/interpret things. Somewhat related Radiolab recently ran an episode about an interpreter at a comedy festival. It really gave me a newfound respect for everything they do.
posted by ilama at 4:28 PM on December 5, 2014 [6 favorites]

This is intellectual slapstick.
posted by johnnydummkopf at 4:32 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Note to self: submit a talk next year. Potential topic: Delaware.
posted by gusandrews at 4:36 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I believe you have a bad ad-hoc hypothesis about Delaware. Let me recommend "There are no living humans in Delaware, just corporations."
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:39 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Ah, non-Romneyan Analysis. Go on...
posted by benito.strauss at 4:45 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Joey Michaels, it's obvious: Why do we have a nice, round, even fifty states? Why do we have something called "corporate personhood"? Why do so many corporations incorporate in Delaware? WHY DOES THE UNIVERSITY OF DELAWARE HAVE A MARYLAND POST OFFICE BOX?!

Teach the controversy.

(I'm realizing for BAH rules, though, that this might be a bit far afield. Just have to figure out how to relate it to evolution...)
posted by gusandrews at 5:01 PM on December 5, 2014 [3 favorites]

aw damn, they don't have a Maryland post office box anymore. They did in the mid-90s, though!
posted by gusandrews at 5:02 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Was anyone else delighted to find that Matt Inman is capable of speaking exactly the way he presents text in The Oatmeal?
posted by gusandrews at 5:08 PM on December 5, 2014 [10 favorites]

I noticed the interpreter spelled some things but had signs for most - were they all standard signs or is there some wiggle room to how things are delivered? Great example of what I'm asking about is "it gives you a boner until you die".

Oh, there's wiggle room: along with the clearly evident tone of voice that interpreter was expressing, ASL has slang, idioms, visual puns, etc. Here's the honest-to-god sign for pasteurized milk (get it?).
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:30 PM on December 5, 2014 [15 favorites]

(I'm realizing for BAH rules, though, that this might be a bit far afield. Just have to figure out how to relate it to evolution...)

Obviously, the corporations evolved from people.
posted by Joey Michaels at 5:50 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I will never forget how to communicate "persistent erection until you are dead" in sign language.
posted by idiopath at 6:12 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Here's the honest-to-god sign for pasteurized milk (get it?).

I think I get it. "Pasteurized" sounds like "past your eyes"?

But...that seems to raise more questions than it answers.
posted by nicolas.bray at 6:21 PM on December 5, 2014 [4 favorites]

Sign language blows my damn mind.
posted by atoxyl at 6:26 PM on December 5, 2014

If you look over your milking sign real quickly is that pasteurized skim milk?
posted by atoxyl at 6:27 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I noticed the interpreter spelled some things but had signs for most - were they all standard signs or is there some wiggle room to how things are delivered? Great example of what I'm asking about is "it gives you a boner until you die".

ASL is very flexible about these things. Part of it is the fact that it has a spacial grammar, so "boner 'til you die" is surprisingly easy to express even if it is not (for obvious reasons) standard vocabulary.

Another aspect, somewhat related, is that you can define or re-define signs on the fly. I *think* that's what she was doing there w/r/t the orange vagina bit (hard to be sure with the edits and my out of practice skills.) This comes up a lot in very technical situations, like law, medicine, etc.

lolxtians?

Curious. What struck home?
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 6:53 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

Once Christianity dips below 50% of the population, that'll be punching down. Obesity, on the other hand, looks like smooth, fat-shaming satyrical sailing for the foreseeable future if we stay on trend. Good thing we're so jolly. Enjoy the historical sweet-spot, Metafilter.
posted by perhapsolutely at 7:50 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I think I get it. "Pasteurized" sounds like "past your eyes"?

But...that seems to raise more questions than it answers.

Yeah, that one had to have been coined by a hearing ASL speaker, possibly a wiseacre interpreter tired of finger-spelling it or repeatedly signing "germs-cook-kill" or something? But still, one of the interesting things about ASL is the relative ease of compounding, coinages, etc. since you're working with compact concept-chunks in space and have more syntactic options and less inflectional garbage. You can't layer English words very understandably, but in ASL, it doesn't take any longer to say "pasteurized milk" than "milk" because in the former, you say both concept-chunks at the same time.
posted by FelliniBlank at 7:55 PM on December 5, 2014 [1 favorite]

I'm not really a fan of Inman, but I am now a fan of that interpreter. I like how he gets kind of upset/surprised that they find 'boner until you die' funny.
posted by graventy at 5:55 AM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

really man? lol fat people, lolxtians?

It's an event devoted to presenting, and laughing about, poor evolutionary science. Skewering of Christian creationism and science-denial seems eminently appropriate.
posted by escape from the potato planet at 7:50 AM on December 6, 2014 [3 favorites]

I imagine that "pasteurized" not only sounds like "past your eyes", but also looks similar on your face when spoken.
posted by Flunkie at 8:33 AM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

interpreter made this talk.

Although i did like the "using science to prove existence of god is like trying to find your car keys with bing"
posted by eustatic at 8:38 AM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

I believe you have a bad ad-hoc hypothesis about Delaware. Let me recommend "There are no living humans in Delaware, just corporations."

Delaware: a lonely island in a sea of undercapitalized fleshbags.
posted by ennui.bz at 9:47 AM on December 6, 2014 [1 favorite]

> It's an event devoted to presenting, and laughing about, poor evolutionary science. Skewering of Christian creationism and science-denial seems eminently appropriate.

That comic you linked to, the one that inspired the event, poked fun at people who are scientific but are doing it badly. It was very convoluted and clever. And while there are ways of engaging with creationism's bad science (I usually enjoy "actual biologist visits creationist museum" vids and podcasts), this didn't so much engage with it as taunt it. It reminded me of a kid making fun of another kid named "Robert" by calling him "Poopert", over and over again. I'd love to see someone take the "principals" of baraminology and apply them to candy bars, or Marvel movies, or types of pasta — that would be a clever skewering of creationism's methods. I think of this talk as a lost opportunity for some clever scientific humor.

To be honest though, I stopped watching after a minute or so, when I realized that this was "The Oatmeal" guy, because I tend to get tired of his comics by the second cell it felt like the same thing. But it sounds like I should go back for the interpreter. I'm a sucker for a good ASL interpreter.
posted by benito.strauss at 10:07 AM on December 6, 2014

The "boner until you die" ASL interpretation was pretty graphic, but the interpretation of "the palps... look... like.. a vagina. They look like a vagina--and not a good one." Wow. She nailed the words, the timing, and the expression. In the moment.

In answer to your question, she was consistent in how she signed 'boner', but even though she didn't sign die/dead after that (which she does do after paralysis - she does paralysis by putting herself into a rictus and the puts one hand palm up and one hand palm down and flips them - that's die/dead) but instead made the arm up for 'boner' drop like a person dropping dead while at the same time closing her eyes. This is a good example of why there is no ASL translation, only interpretation.
posted by plinth at 4:51 PM on December 7, 2014 [1 favorite]

Inman was great, and his presentation was fantastic, but the interpreter totally stole the show once the banana spider topic came up. Her priapism delivery was perfect, and I don't even know ASL.
posted by quin at 2:00 PM on December 9, 2014