Santa as you may never have seen him before
December 10, 2014 7:59 AM Subscribe
*stays up all night stoking the fire*
posted by louche mustachio at 8:10 AM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by louche mustachio at 8:10 AM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
Ummm... If you find those Santas disturbing you live one hell of sheltered life. Ok, the last one with the gun qualifies, and there's one with a bundle of switches for some bad kid.
Other than that, a bunch of grandfatherly graybeards.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:12 AM on December 10, 2014 [3 favorites]
Other than that, a bunch of grandfatherly graybeards.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:12 AM on December 10, 2014 [3 favorites]
I dunno, a lot of them look like snapshots of Saruman at the exact moment when he went bad.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:13 AM on December 10, 2014 [10 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:13 AM on December 10, 2014 [10 favorites]
Behold! Behold!
Behold the might of Santa!
Beware! Beware!
Beware his jolly boots of DOOM!
Bow down! Bow down!
Before the power of Santa!
Or be crushed! Be crushed!
By his jolly boots of DOOM!
posted by Foosnark at 8:30 AM on December 10, 2014 [10 favorites]
Behold the might of Santa!
Beware! Beware!
Beware his jolly boots of DOOM!
Bow down! Bow down!
Before the power of Santa!
Or be crushed! Be crushed!
By his jolly boots of DOOM!
posted by Foosnark at 8:30 AM on December 10, 2014 [10 favorites]
Holy shit! Never thought I 'd say this, but thank God for the Coca Cola Company!
posted by Naberius at 8:32 AM on December 10, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by Naberius at 8:32 AM on December 10, 2014 [6 favorites]
"Deadeye Santa was pretty sweet."
You will pry this beard from my cold, defenceless fingers.
posted by Paul Slade at 8:45 AM on December 10, 2014
You will pry this beard from my cold, defenceless fingers.
posted by Paul Slade at 8:45 AM on December 10, 2014
Ummm... If you find those Santas disturbing you live one hell of sheltered life. Ok, the last one with the gun qualifies, and there's one with a bundle of switches for some bad kid.
Other than that, a bunch of grandfatherly graybeards.
If the Santa with a shiteating grin holding his penis er... a stick ... qualifies, remind me to avoid your family reunions.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:05 AM on December 10, 2014
Other than that, a bunch of grandfatherly graybeards.
If the Santa with a shiteating grin holding his penis er... a stick ... qualifies, remind me to avoid your family reunions.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:05 AM on December 10, 2014
I am curious what is the context of Santa with a revolver.
We've got one Santa from the Shoneman Bro's Trimming & Fancy Goods Store, and the Santa who stuffs toys in his boots is apparently compliments of S. Silberman, The Shoe Dealer. Is gun Santa advertising a gun store? Is he an illustration from a pulp crime novel about robbers dressed as Santa?
posted by RobotHero at 9:07 AM on December 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
We've got one Santa from the Shoneman Bro's Trimming & Fancy Goods Store, and the Santa who stuffs toys in his boots is apparently compliments of S. Silberman, The Shoe Dealer. Is gun Santa advertising a gun store? Is he an illustration from a pulp crime novel about robbers dressed as Santa?
posted by RobotHero at 9:07 AM on December 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
Is he an illustration from a pulp crime novel about robbers dressed as Santa?
You mean like this one?
[Many years ago, I read Brown's novel - it's a really good pulpy, fun story.]
posted by Paul Slade at 9:19 AM on December 10, 2014
You mean like this one?
[Many years ago, I read Brown's novel - it's a really good pulpy, fun story.]
posted by Paul Slade at 9:19 AM on December 10, 2014
Deadeye Santa was pretty sweet.
"You've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel naughty or nice?" Well, which are ya, punk?"
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:21 AM on December 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
"You've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel naughty or nice?" Well, which are ya, punk?"
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:21 AM on December 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
I assume Gun Santa was from a revolver ad. He was one of the very first advertising icons, after all. Before Coca-Cola got hold of him, he ran with a rougher crowd.
"Santa doesn't like to talk about those days, Timmy. Lotta bad memories."
posted by emjaybee at 9:27 AM on December 10, 2014 [4 favorites]
"Santa doesn't like to talk about those days, Timmy. Lotta bad memories."
posted by emjaybee at 9:27 AM on December 10, 2014 [4 favorites]
Also, Flula on creepiness of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" seems appropriate here.
posted by emjaybee at 9:30 AM on December 10, 2014
posted by emjaybee at 9:30 AM on December 10, 2014
Some of these Santas do look creepy. But keep in mind that what Santa is doing is inherently creepy: He's sneaking into people's houses, giving them gifts that he thinks they want, after having surveilled their behaviour for a couple of months to see if they've been "bad" or "good".
posted by clawsoon at 9:30 AM on December 10, 2014
posted by clawsoon at 9:30 AM on December 10, 2014
I appreciate the circumspection of saying "may never" in the thread title instead of just "never."
posted by Pfardentrott at 9:37 AM on December 10, 2014
posted by Pfardentrott at 9:37 AM on December 10, 2014
Does everything have to get the Christopher Nolan treatment now?
posted by Naberius at 9:45 AM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Naberius at 9:45 AM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
Not that I'd ever question anything found on the internet, but the last illustration doesn't look like it could have been made in 1912. It's not the subject matter, it's the painting style and the manner of print. I think it's modern.
posted by tula at 9:48 AM on December 10, 2014
posted by tula at 9:48 AM on December 10, 2014
I think it's modern.
'Hands Up!' As Santa Claus looks to some of us." From the December 11, 1912 cover of Puck. Illustrated by Will Crawford.
Easy to verify if anyone is nearby a database right now.
posted by Miko at 10:14 AM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
'Hands Up!' As Santa Claus looks to some of us." From the December 11, 1912 cover of Puck. Illustrated by Will Crawford.
Easy to verify if anyone is nearby a database right now.
posted by Miko at 10:14 AM on December 10, 2014 [1 favorite]
These are great! I prefer a somewhat grittier Santa than the hokey Hallmark-y property he became through the 20th century. As a kid, I loved L. Frank Baum's The Life And Adventures of Santa Claus.
posted by batfish at 10:15 AM on December 10, 2014
posted by batfish at 10:15 AM on December 10, 2014
I can't actually get into a real database right now, but looks legit (and makes sense for Puck).
Science Source
100 Years Ago Today
posted by Miko at 10:16 AM on December 10, 2014
Science Source
100 Years Ago Today
posted by Miko at 10:16 AM on December 10, 2014
Some of these Santas do look creepy. But keep in mind that what Santa is doing is inherently creepy: He's sneaking into people's houses, giving them gifts that he thinks they want, after having surveilled their behaviour for a couple of months to see if they've been "bad" or "good".
And let's not even get started on the way he tries to get everyone to sit in his lap and tell him what they really want.
posted by orange swan at 10:33 AM on December 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
And let's not even get started on the way he tries to get everyone to sit in his lap and tell him what they really want.
posted by orange swan at 10:33 AM on December 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
100% of these guys are me
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:37 AM on December 10, 2014
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:37 AM on December 10, 2014
I'LL shoot your eye out, kid
posted by Hoopo at 10:51 AM on December 10, 2014 [5 favorites]
posted by Hoopo at 10:51 AM on December 10, 2014 [5 favorites]
When I was little my father told me and my sister that if we were bad Santa was going to make us "raisin sticks", which were sticks with nails through them, with a raisin stuck on each one. We would be permitted to eat the raisins, but then we would be beaten with the sticks. This was supposedly some sadistic family tradition, but I've never heard of it anywhere else.
One year he actually made the sticks out of thin doweling and tacks and put them in our stockings, "from Santa". We were never beaten though, I assure you!
posted by Fnarf at 5:05 PM on December 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
One year he actually made the sticks out of thin doweling and tacks and put them in our stockings, "from Santa". We were never beaten though, I assure you!
posted by Fnarf at 5:05 PM on December 10, 2014 [2 favorites]
« Older Pirates hide treasure in Swedish Mines of Moria... | On the tin Newer »
This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments
posted by maryr at 8:04 AM on December 10, 2014