Bulletproof Nutrition
December 16, 2014 7:49 AM   Subscribe

Maybe you've heard of Bulletproof Coffee, the revolutionary fad that advocates mixing in butter and oil into your coffee? Well, Dan Norman's here to tell you about the Bulletproof Sandwich (YT) (here's the original Bulletproof Coffee promo video, for reference).
posted by shivohum (77 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
 
I had no idea bulletproof coffee was a thing outside of the keto... I hate to say subculture, but there you are, I suppose.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:54 AM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Can I make either of these with one of those goofy Magic Bullet Mixers?
posted by Confess, Fletch at 7:57 AM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


paleo-blue ?
posted by k5.user at 7:59 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


The very idea of Bulletproof Coffee scares the bejeezus out of me.
posted by Kitteh at 7:59 AM on December 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


Skip the coffee, just melt the butter and drink it straight!
posted by blue_beetle at 8:06 AM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


I gagged when he slurped the plate. Good show, ol' chap.
posted by sibboleth at 8:07 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Confess, Fletch: I don't know about the coffee, but the magic bullet is convenient for making smoothies/lassi.
posted by jb at 8:08 AM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


if MCT oil is made from palm oil, that's bad for orangutans.
posted by jb at 8:12 AM on December 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


I've never heard of bulletproof coffee but I know the Sherpas in Nepal drink tea with rancid yak butter in it and they can climb the fuck out of the Himalaya, so maybe there's something to it.

I guess living most of your life above 20,000 feet helps as well.
posted by bondcliff at 8:14 AM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


The Darwin Award diet
posted by indubitable at 8:16 AM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


I hadn't heard of Bulletproof coffee before but...it sounds a whole lot like yak butter tea. Except with coffee. Yak butter tea is an acquired taste, which I have acquired, and I do like coffee a lot, so, guess I'll give it a go one of these days!
posted by skye.dancer at 8:17 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Bulletproof Coffee is just about the dumbest thing in the world. You want to add fat to your coffee, USE HEAVY CREAM. It's already liquid! It tastes like pudgy lil' angels from Heaven! Stop making things hard for yourself!
posted by leotrotsky at 8:17 AM on December 16, 2014 [43 favorites]


Eh, it's not rancid, if you're lucky it will be fresh-churned from yak milk; otherwise it might just be regular butter they got at the SPAR.
posted by poffin boffin at 8:18 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Oh, and Dave Asprey a snake oil selling scumbag. Full Stop.
posted by leotrotsky at 8:18 AM on December 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


I was tempted to go back to the bulletproof thread and post this article a couple days ago (but figured nobody would see it):

The Cult of the Bulletproof Coffee Diet (New York Times "Style" section, Dec 12 2014)
posted by Auden at 8:19 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Stirring a little bit of coconut oil into your coffee makes it very delicious.
Proselytizing about the imagined health benefits of same makes you very annoying.
Calling it "Bulletproof Coffee" makes you a total douche.
posted by mrjohnmuller at 8:20 AM on December 16, 2014 [8 favorites]


On the subject of fats and teas, I have noticed that when I add virgin coconut oil to my green tea, I get a huge vasodilation effect in my extremities - esp a warm rush of blood to my feet and a general feeling of relaxation. This doesn't happen with consumption of either green tea or coconut oil alone; the oil seems to be enhancing the absorption of some of the tea's phytochemicals. Great in winter. The effect is even greater if you brew the tea with a decoction of fresh ginger, btw.
posted by Auden at 8:25 AM on December 16, 2014 [7 favorites]


“It’s a gateway drug for taking control of your own biology”

YEAH YOU HEAR THAT BODY NOT SO SMART NOW ARE YOU
posted by Kitteh at 8:26 AM on December 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


If'n you're not the type to actually watch the video: it's a parody, y'all.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 8:27 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Oh my god the look on the guy's face when he actually eats it!
posted by Kitty Stardust at 8:27 AM on December 16, 2014


Behold this demonstration of the awesome power of marketing, in which people are abruptly convinced they want something they actually have no need for!
posted by Fupped Duck at 8:28 AM on December 16, 2014


if MCT oil is made from palm oil, that's bad for orangutans.

Also climate change.

Palm oil is bad stuff. Well, the palm oil industry is bad stuff, because it encourages slash-and-burn deforestation on a massive scale.

But, yeah, orangutans would be reason enough. AFAIK they are the only species other than humans that knows how to give the finger.
posted by Cookiebastard at 8:36 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Nas-TEE!!!
posted by harrietthespy at 8:38 AM on December 16, 2014


You want to add fat to your coffee, USE HEAVY CREAM. It's already liquid! It tastes like pudgy lil' angels from Heaven!
Preach on, brother leotrotsky. The infidels that use half/half know not what they do. A small drip will do wonders. Either heavy cream, or black.
posted by k5.user at 8:44 AM on December 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


I need another box of WTFs, I seem to have run out while reading the NY Times article
posted by Ella Fynoe at 8:51 AM on December 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


Here's a great analysis of the impact of bulletproof "butter is healthy" theory. To this day I'm surprised that Asprey has never bothered to do this himself. Quantified self indeed.
posted by analogue at 8:53 AM on December 16, 2014


Palm oil is bad stuff. Well, the palm oil industry is bad stuff...

but...but...Nutella!
posted by Thorzdad at 8:56 AM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Nutella? Aw fuck.
posted by Cookiebastard at 9:02 AM on December 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


coffee, butter, oil

This sounds absolutely fucking horrible. Who thought this was a good idea?
posted by Old'n'Busted at 9:02 AM on December 16, 2014


and..and... Oatcakes!

Look, I fully admit that oatcakes look (and taste) like cork coasters to the rest of the world, but if you are Scottish, they are the business.
posted by scruss at 9:03 AM on December 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


The only healthy element of drinking milk or cream in coffee is having to walk to Tesco to buy fresh. I have taught myself to drink it black so I can limit myself to the commute from couch to kettle.
posted by biffa at 9:03 AM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


I tried Bulletproof Coffee a couple of years ago. It was okay. Not great, but okay. So I made my own version: two or three raw eggs, a big cup of coffee, and a teaspoon of maple syrup. Blend. Drink. Best breakfast ever.
posted by JohnFromGR at 9:07 AM on December 16, 2014


Scandinavians beat you to this. Behold what the Swedes call kaffeost and the Finns call leipäjuusto, but in the US it's just called Finnish squeaky cheese.

For those wanting to try this, find where the Finns moved to when they moved here. Hancock, MI is one of them.
posted by eriko at 9:08 AM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


Guess all you naysayers are never going to get optimized.
posted by Kitty Stardust at 9:10 AM on December 16, 2014 [9 favorites]


Thanks eriko, that reminded me! I've been wanting to try "bread cheese" for awhile now. Wasn't able to track any down locally a few years back, maybe this year is different.
posted by Auden at 9:13 AM on December 16, 2014


The Finns here in Wisconsin call it juustoleipä, and it is good good good, and they make no claims for it other than that it is good good good, for they are stalwart and honest Finns.
posted by escabeche at 9:15 AM on December 16, 2014


This guy is a genius.
posted by TheRedArmy at 9:17 AM on December 16, 2014


I feel like his hands are trying to tell me something.
posted by Kabanos at 9:19 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Nutella has been working on "zero deforestation oil", and as of about a year ago said "We are on track to achieving 100% traceable segregated, RSPO-certified palm oil by the end of 2014, nearly one year ahead of our original schedule."
posted by achrise at 9:23 AM on December 16, 2014 [10 favorites]


I'm glad people are realizing that butter is healthier than all these cheap processed oils that they've been dumping in out food for decades but that doesn't mean you need it in everything.
posted by Liquidwolf at 9:24 AM on December 16, 2014


I tried bulletproof coffee on my own after hearing about it because I'm always up for a quick, filling breakfast. It was all the rage a few years back on the "Mark's Daily Apple" forums. Then I went to the guy's site and saw he was selling exclusive, "fungus-free" coffee beans, and I laughed and laughed.

As for the BP coffee: didn't taste all that great, didn't fill me up. Went back to my usual joe after a week's experiment.

This video is brilliant.
posted by offalark at 9:31 AM on December 16, 2014


I will anxiously await the arrival of ethical Nutella.
posted by Cookiebastard at 9:41 AM on December 16, 2014


I fully admit that oatcakes look (and taste) like cork coasters to the rest of the world

THEY ARE A DELIGHT IN ALL WAYS especially the fact that they look like sad cardboard punch outs from a cheap off-label children's toy and thus no one ever wants to steal them from you.

also nairn's makes those gingery biscuits which are fucking divine
posted by poffin boffin at 9:49 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Before "Bulletproof" sandwiches:
Chewing the Fat Is a Culinary Obsession for Ukrainians : 'It's not a food, it's a narcotic,' say connoisseurs of salo (subcutaneous pork fat).

Salo, a slab of fat typically served raw on a slice of bread with a few condiments, is the comfort food of many Eastern Europeans. They've even used it to make salo sushi.
posted by Kabanos at 9:49 AM on December 16, 2014


oops i ordered a case from amazon
posted by poffin boffin at 9:51 AM on December 16, 2014 [5 favorites]


Thorzdad:
"but...but...Nutella!"
Make your own without palm oil!!!
posted by Hairy Lobster at 10:06 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


Justin's has a chocolate hazelnut spread that I like better than Nutella and they allege their palm oil is not the devil's oil.
posted by poffin boffin at 10:16 AM on December 16, 2014 [2 favorites]


i mention them every time this subject comes up but i assure you all that i am not a paid shill for Big Nut Butter
posted by poffin boffin at 10:17 AM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


cream ruins coffee.

coconut oil actually makes it taste good.

also dairy is hard on the stomach.

Whatever, get back to judging people.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 10:28 AM on December 16, 2014


It's a long video, I was skipping ahead madly, I thought he was just eating a big slab of butter between slices of bread (which didn't sound totally terrible), then I skipped in a different pattern OH DEAR GOD NO

(I actually know someone who might honestly make a go of this, mind you.)
posted by maudlin at 10:29 AM on December 16, 2014


cream ruins coffee.

No, it just makes it into a different drink. It's like saying cream ruins Black Russians.
posted by leotrotsky at 10:48 AM on December 16, 2014 [4 favorites]


that analogy would hold up if black russians were just vodka.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 10:52 AM on December 16, 2014


Behold this demonstration of the awesome power of marketing, in which people are abruptly convinced they want something they actually have no need for!

Power Sauce!
posted by mandolin conspiracy at 10:55 AM on December 16, 2014


This is the second weirdest thing to go into coffee.
Why? Oil? Butter? Why?

First weirdest thing? Breast milk.
Why? Breast milk? Why????
posted by hal_c_on at 11:22 AM on December 16, 2014


Stirring a little bit of coconut oil into your coffee makes it very delicious.

I've been drinking "bulletproof coffee" for about three years now, and I can tell you that stirring oil into your coffee will just result in a layer of oil on top of your brew. Gross. You really need a blender to thoroughly mix the two.

There is a way to get around the mixing/blending, but it requires an espresso machine: Put soft butter and almond milk under the steam wand for a little while. The two will mix very well. Then, mix the butter/milk combo with the coffee. It will stay mixed for a while, certainly long enough for you to finish your coffee.
posted by hellphish at 11:24 AM on December 16, 2014


Oh, to the people going all "ewww butter, yuck!" keep in mind that you are supposed to use UNSALTED butter from grass-fed cows. Also keep in mind how butter is made (hint: its made from cream.)
posted by hellphish at 11:26 AM on December 16, 2014


although... adding small amount of salt is a well-known trick for reducing bitterness in brewed coffee. But probably at much smaller levels than present in salted butter.
posted by Auden at 11:49 AM on December 16, 2014


You want some good medium chain triglycerides for breakfast? Eat half an avocado. I've been doing this, and noticed a definite improvement in metabolism, as in, I get hungrier earlier than getting the equivalent calories from cereal or bread.
I've tried yak-butter tea, and bullet-proof coffee, and neither is really worth that much work in the morning. (Shaving the yak is particularly troublesome)

My typical breakfast: 1/2 avocado w/ salt, 1 egg fried in butter, a slice or two of lean ham, and a cup of non-kevlar coffee. A cup of oatmeal occasionally.
posted by bashos_frog at 12:10 PM on December 16, 2014


Butter makes everything better. Butter is God.
posted by five fresh fish at 1:05 PM on December 16, 2014


Well then god makes me super gassy.
posted by poffin boffin at 1:18 PM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Upgraded Coffee, his low-mold beans (toxins from mold are “performance-robbing,” he said

This toxin geezer nicked me performance
posted by Greg Nog at 1:56 PM on December 16, 2014


So I made my own version: two or three raw eggs, a big cup of coffee, and a teaspoon of maple syrup. Blend. Drink. Best breakfast ever.

I really can't tell whether this is going to turn out to be an unexpected taste sensation, or an obvious and cruel trick.
posted by metaBugs at 2:07 PM on December 16, 2014


Irish person here, butter and bacon on toast sandwiches considered a perfectly acceptable meal for generations. Way ahead of you paleo people.
posted by fshgrl at 2:16 PM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Oh, to the people going all "ewww butter, yuck!" keep in mind that you are supposed to use UNSALTED butter from grass-fed cows. Also keep in mind how butter is made (hint: its made from cream.)

Also, looking ahead a bit, keep in mind how Havarti is made.
posted by fredludd at 4:07 PM on December 16, 2014


I don't get the Bulletproof Coffee sell. You're supposed to pick some things that the audience has experienced, something that resonates, and say "Does this ever happen to you?", and then talk about how your product fixes those problems. Like "Do you ever get jittery from drinking coffee? Bulletproof coffee has 98% less jitters!" That, or manufacture a need ("Did you know your washing machine has an average of 20 types of germs living in it?")

But his sales points are 1) Bulletproof coffee eliminates the "feel really good, and then crash, and then feel really good, and then crash" effect. I'm sorry...the what effect? Who experiences cyclical crashes from coffee? 2) "It doesn't cause food cravings the way normal coffee does" Again, what? Coffee eliminates food cravings. Who's going to watch the video and think, "Aw, yeah, I always get so hungry when I drink coffee. I need some of this bulletproof stuff!"

So it's not "Hey, that will fix this problem I have!" or "Hey, I didn't even realize I have this problem, but now that I know, I need this product to fix it!" Instead, it's "Well, that doesn't even remotely relate to me." I don't get it.
posted by Bugbread at 4:28 PM on December 16, 2014 [1 favorite]


> Butter makes everything better. Butter is God.

Well then god makes me super gassy.


Christ, what an asshole.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:13 PM on December 16, 2014 [3 favorites]


Should that read Christ: What an asshole?
posted by trif at 9:21 AM on December 17, 2014


Wait wait wait, I glanced at the original bulletproof guy video, and that's all a pour-over is? I've been hearing the term a lot lately and thought it was some new, fancy, improved way of making coffee, but it's just coffee. Maybe there's some fancier piece to it that I'm not seeing.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:36 AM on December 17, 2014


You hold your pinky out while pouring.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:38 AM on December 17, 2014


Pour-over brewing happens in two stages: first you pour a little bit to let the grounds expand or "bloom," then you slowly pour the water over at a speed that doesn't allow the grounds to sit in the water for a long time. The idea of pour-over is to control very precisely the time the water is in contact with the grounds.
posted by hellphish at 9:53 AM on December 17, 2014


That doesn't seem very manly.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:54 AM on December 17, 2014


(That was to the pinky business.)
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:54 AM on December 17, 2014


I've been drinking "bulletproof coffee" for about three years now,

I would love to hear more about your experiences! It all sounds so repugnant to me that I'm overwhelmed with a desire to try it. Presumably, you enjoy it? Would you say the taste or the psyche effect is more what you dig about it?
posted by Greg Nog at 10:37 AM on December 17, 2014


I've made this sort of coffee for breakfast from time to time, and it is not a bad thing, but I saw a bag of "Upgraded Coffee" in the breakroom at work the other day and it was all I could do to not laugh in embarrassment that one of my coworkers fell for the idea that their beans are somehow superior.


Also, it makes me think of the pimp named "Upgrayedd" in Idiocracy.
posted by mmagin at 4:03 PM on December 22, 2014


Pourover coffee is just coffee - it's the manual version of an automatic drip machine (and is what they are based on).

If you do it slowly - like about 3-4 minutes - you can get a coffee that is stronger, more flavourful than the average drip because it has longer to steep. I still prefer a coffee press, because I like my coffee to be caffeinated mud, but a slow pourover is at least not as weak as a regular pourover/drip.

It's also a good alternative for people who don't like coffee press coffee, but who also don't want an automatic machine. My kitchen is very small, and I am the only coffee drinker in the house; I love that I can keep all my coffee stuff in a cupboard and only keep the kettle on the counter. A manual drip cone costs only a few dollars, and can sit on top of your mug.

But I just want to note my coffee philosophy: there is no right way to make coffee, any more than there is a "right" way to make beer or wine or bread or anything else. Coffee is a plant that can be enjoyed many ways; some people like it roasted dark and extracted under pressure, others like it roasted light and extracted gently in a fast drip. Every method just makes for different characteristics, and everyone likes different ones.

Except that Turkish coffee is clearly the best in the world and everything else is water compared to it.
posted by jb at 7:26 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]


I just tried Bulletproof Coffee and it feels like BP just crashed a tanker down my throat
posted by Greg Nog at 12:23 PM on January 14, 2015


You had a better experience than I did, Greg. I felt like I'd just fellated a penis made out of burnt popcorn.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:38 PM on January 14, 2015


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