So you're tired of sugar cookies for the Holidays, eh?
December 22, 2014 5:49 AM Subscribe
Step One: Go watch forty seconds of this sketch from the MST3k episode "The Mole People". Step Two: Go below the fold.
Servo: "You wanna get busy, Mike? We're in charge of the bake sale for Lawgiver Days."
Mike: "Well, I didn't bake anything. Nobody told me."
Servo: "Well, that's no excuse."
Mike: "Well, actually, it kind of is."
Crow: "Well at least be a customer, then, Mike."
Servo: "Yeah."
Mike: "Well, fine. I'll just have one of these kolaches, then."
Servo: "That's not a kolache, that's a kringle."
Mike: "Ah, well then I'll have one of those."
Servo: "That's a Krumkake."
Mike: "Um, well I'll have..."
Servo: "That's a Pierogi."
Mike: "Can I have one of these?"
Servo: "That's a Cornish Pasty."
Mike: "What's that?"
Servo: "That's a Profiterole."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "That's a Pfeffernusse."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Creamhorn."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Crumhorn."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Zeppole."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Tiramisu."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Baba au rum. A Zuppa Inglese. An Eclair. A Napoleon. A Canolli. A Charlotte Russe. A Baklava. A Blintz. A Blini. A Papadam. A Naan."
There is a ringer amongst those links, but I blame Kevin Murphy for that. Happy Holidays, everyone!
Servo: "You wanna get busy, Mike? We're in charge of the bake sale for Lawgiver Days."
Mike: "Well, I didn't bake anything. Nobody told me."
Servo: "Well, that's no excuse."
Mike: "Well, actually, it kind of is."
Crow: "Well at least be a customer, then, Mike."
Servo: "Yeah."
Mike: "Well, fine. I'll just have one of these kolaches, then."
Servo: "That's not a kolache, that's a kringle."
Mike: "Ah, well then I'll have one of those."
Servo: "That's a Krumkake."
Mike: "Um, well I'll have..."
Servo: "That's a Pierogi."
Mike: "Can I have one of these?"
Servo: "That's a Cornish Pasty."
Mike: "What's that?"
Servo: "That's a Profiterole."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "That's a Pfeffernusse."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Creamhorn."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Crumhorn."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Zeppole."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Tiramisu."
Mike: "This?"
Servo: "A Baba au rum. A Zuppa Inglese. An Eclair. A Napoleon. A Canolli. A Charlotte Russe. A Baklava. A Blintz. A Blini. A Papadam. A Naan."
There is a ringer amongst those links, but I blame Kevin Murphy for that. Happy Holidays, everyone!
I've often wanted to do an entire dinner party based on having as many of the suggestions from this AskMe as I could find. When I do, I'll have to come here for dessert.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:16 AM on December 22, 2014
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:16 AM on December 22, 2014
I didn't expect all of those things from the sketch to, you know, exist. Wow.
posted by JHarris at 6:20 AM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by JHarris at 6:20 AM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
I didn't expect all of those things from the sketch to, you know, exist.
That's the heart of the joke. The fact that all those things exist is as ridiculous as the sketch.
Now I'm hungry for a canolli.
posted by localroger at 6:29 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
That's the heart of the joke. The fact that all those things exist is as ridiculous as the sketch.
Now I'm hungry for a canolli.
posted by localroger at 6:29 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
There is a ringer amongst those links ...
Somehow that was the first link I clicked, and I was mildly confused. Now I want to start wearing a ruff.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:54 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
Somehow that was the first link I clicked, and I was mildly confused. Now I want to start wearing a ruff.
posted by The Great Big Mulp at 6:54 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
Pierogies are basically little happiness pockets.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2014 [20 favorites]
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:07 AM on December 22, 2014 [20 favorites]
PFEFFERNUSSE, YO!
posted by KingEdRa at 7:10 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by KingEdRa at 7:10 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
This sounds like my wife when she breaks out her Cooky Book.
That's the book my wife uses! From the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas, our kitchen turns into a cookie factory. The breakfast nook is covered with Rubbermaid containers filled with all types. The kitchen island is cluttered with cookie cutters and tubes of frosting. When I go to cook dinner I have to push aside cookie sheets or bins of flour.
It's insane, but every teacher, friend, neighbor, and plumber gets a plate of cookies. She even spared some for a Metafilter meetup I went to the other night.
I didn't have cable or really watch much TV during the nineties (I'm making up for it now) so I've now watched a total of 40 seconds of MST3K.
posted by bondcliff at 7:28 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
That's the book my wife uses! From the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas, our kitchen turns into a cookie factory. The breakfast nook is covered with Rubbermaid containers filled with all types. The kitchen island is cluttered with cookie cutters and tubes of frosting. When I go to cook dinner I have to push aside cookie sheets or bins of flour.
It's insane, but every teacher, friend, neighbor, and plumber gets a plate of cookies. She even spared some for a Metafilter meetup I went to the other night.
I didn't have cable or really watch much TV during the nineties (I'm making up for it now) so I've now watched a total of 40 seconds of MST3K.
posted by bondcliff at 7:28 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
So are you a fan, bondcliff?
posted by Mister_A at 7:46 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister_A at 7:46 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
I would cut someone for a pierogie, BTW.
posted by Mister_A at 7:47 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
posted by Mister_A at 7:47 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
So are you a fan, bondcliff?
Sure, in the sense that all I know is that it's a show about a guy talking about cookies with a couple of puppets.
So now when I talk about MST3K I'll just go "Yeah, I love that show. It's the cookie show with the puppets!"
posted by bondcliff at 7:48 AM on December 22, 2014 [9 favorites]
Sure, in the sense that all I know is that it's a show about a guy talking about cookies with a couple of puppets.
So now when I talk about MST3K I'll just go "Yeah, I love that show. It's the cookie show with the puppets!"
posted by bondcliff at 7:48 AM on December 22, 2014 [9 favorites]
Those are not like any pierogi I've ever seen. They do look damn tasty though.
posted by specialagentwebb at 8:01 AM on December 22, 2014
posted by specialagentwebb at 8:01 AM on December 22, 2014
I didn't have cable or really watch much TV during the nineties (I'm making up for it now) so I've now watched a total of 40 seconds of MST3K.
bondcliff, would you like to get acquainted with the show?
posted by JHarris at 8:08 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
bondcliff, would you like to get acquainted with the show?
posted by JHarris at 8:08 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
bondcliff, would you like to get acquainted with the show?
I may. I'm almost done binge-watching Emergency!* on Netflix, and re-watching Louie, so maybe I'll give MST3K a shot next. I'm always reluctant to get into shows that have a large back catalog (paging Dr Who. Dr. Who, white courtesy phone...) because of the large time-sink involved. But from 10PM - Midnight every night I'm usually alone after the family is in bed so that's Daddy's TV time.
*someone who isn't me needs to make a mega-post about this awesome show from the 1970s that I watched as a kid. So damn good. "I-V with ringers and transport as soon as possible." "10-4, Rampart."
posted by bondcliff at 8:17 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
I may. I'm almost done binge-watching Emergency!* on Netflix, and re-watching Louie, so maybe I'll give MST3K a shot next. I'm always reluctant to get into shows that have a large back catalog (paging Dr Who. Dr. Who, white courtesy phone...) because of the large time-sink involved. But from 10PM - Midnight every night I'm usually alone after the family is in bed so that's Daddy's TV time.
*someone who isn't me needs to make a mega-post about this awesome show from the 1970s that I watched as a kid. So damn good. "I-V with ringers and transport as soon as possible." "10-4, Rampart."
posted by bondcliff at 8:17 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
I would cut someone for a pierogie, BTW.
One of the things I enjoy about living in western NY is that the frozen food aisles in the supermarkets have the usual labeled areas -- CHICKEN, BREAD, VEGETABLES, PIZZA, etc -- but also have a labeled area specifically for PIEROGI.
(There are also almost always fresh pierogi in the general meat area or the deli section)
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:24 AM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
One of the things I enjoy about living in western NY is that the frozen food aisles in the supermarkets have the usual labeled areas -- CHICKEN, BREAD, VEGETABLES, PIZZA, etc -- but also have a labeled area specifically for PIEROGI.
(There are also almost always fresh pierogi in the general meat area or the deli section)
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:24 AM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
Sorry, but an "Estonian" kringle is not a real kringle (a clue that they are frauds is the fact that they try to confuse you with multiple spellings - see Estonian kringle, Astonian kringle, kringle estonio). A real kringle is Danish and quite common in the upper midwest (so must be what the MST3K guys are talking about). Though apparently, according to youtube, there is no homemade option, they can only be made by professionals.
posted by rtimmel at 8:25 AM on December 22, 2014
posted by rtimmel at 8:25 AM on December 22, 2014
I'm always reluctant to get into shows that have a large back catalog
The good thing about MST3K from that standpoint is that with the exception of its final season or two, there was no real attempt at continuity or story arcs. So you can pretty much just cue up whatever episode you think looks interesting.
I personally would start with the "MST3K: The Movie" as my entry point as the riffage volume is a little easier to take and the movie they riff itself (This Island Earth) isn't as brain-meltingly terrible as some of the other ones they do.
When they did attempt arcs (mandated by the network) they were so poorly executed (due ironically to the network screwing up the running order of the shows) that you're still no worse off for watching it out of order.
posted by AndrewInDC at 8:26 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
The good thing about MST3K from that standpoint is that with the exception of its final season or two, there was no real attempt at continuity or story arcs. So you can pretty much just cue up whatever episode you think looks interesting.
I personally would start with the "MST3K: The Movie" as my entry point as the riffage volume is a little easier to take and the movie they riff itself (This Island Earth) isn't as brain-meltingly terrible as some of the other ones they do.
When they did attempt arcs (mandated by the network) they were so poorly executed (due ironically to the network screwing up the running order of the shows) that you're still no worse off for watching it out of order.
posted by AndrewInDC at 8:26 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]
It's a long par five to our nation's capital...
posted by maryr at 8:35 AM on December 22, 2014 [6 favorites]
posted by maryr at 8:35 AM on December 22, 2014 [6 favorites]
Baba au rhum is the best, and they are super easy to make- if you can make a sponge cake, you can make baba au rhum.
The secret is the rum.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:41 AM on December 22, 2014
The secret is the rum.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 8:41 AM on December 22, 2014
Multiple times now I've made lists in comments of good introductory episodes here, and it's proving difficult to find them to link them again. So I'll just say that everything we're showing for the Christmas marathon is good introductory material. We've got a lot of shorts queued up....
posted by JHarris at 8:45 AM on December 22, 2014
posted by JHarris at 8:45 AM on December 22, 2014
Yeah, the shorts are a great way to start.
posted by Chrysostom at 9:00 AM on December 22, 2014
posted by Chrysostom at 9:00 AM on December 22, 2014
Retro TV has started showing MST3K on Saturdays.
(I'll have the Mile High Meringue Pie)
posted by dirigibleman at 9:00 AM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
(I'll have the Mile High Meringue Pie)
posted by dirigibleman at 9:00 AM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
i am looking askance at these "lazy pierogi," but i think that's just because i'm about to embark on my annual Christmas Making of the Pierogi; a feat so annoyingly labor intensive that the only reason i do it is because the end result is so delicious. also it's not Christmas without pierogi.
(my grandma's recipe for cheese pierogi is unusual because it has no potato - just farmer's cheese [you can use ricotta in a pinch], egg, grated onion, salt, and pepper]. her sauerkraut and mushroom filling is pretty standard, though.)
posted by misskaz at 11:51 AM on December 22, 2014
(my grandma's recipe for cheese pierogi is unusual because it has no potato - just farmer's cheese [you can use ricotta in a pinch], egg, grated onion, salt, and pepper]. her sauerkraut and mushroom filling is pretty standard, though.)
posted by misskaz at 11:51 AM on December 22, 2014
This is the best short to be introduced to
posted by The Whelk at 3:55 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
posted by The Whelk at 3:55 PM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]
I have a friend whose (formerly Polish) family thinks potato pierogi are just the ants pants. I can't understand it. Most cultures seem to have mastered the idea of taking something tasty-but-expensive and covering it with dough to make it (a) go further; and (b) provide a nice surprise when you bite through the crust. The "tasty-but-expensive" thing is usually jam, or meat, or julienned vegetables. The fact that Poles think that mashed potato fits that description ... troubles me.
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:55 PM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
posted by Joe in Australia at 3:55 PM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]
So wait can I get confirmation that you can use leftover mashed potatoes to make a good dough to fill with ground meat? I've heard from home chefs but they never follow up with like, recipes, just a vague "oh you make a dough from the leftover potatoes and put the leftover meat into it and fry them!" and I'm so bad with Anything dough-related I need VERY EXACT INSTRUCTIONS.
posted by The Whelk at 4:13 PM on December 22, 2014
posted by The Whelk at 4:13 PM on December 22, 2014
i am looking askance at these "lazy pierogi," but i think that's just because i'm about to embark on my annual Christmas Making of the Pierogi; a feat so annoyingly labor intensive that the only reason i do it is because the end result is so delicious. also it's not Christmas without pierogi.
When I was about fourteen my father started bonding with our neighbor through bouts of intense pierogi making in the runup to Easter. They coped with the labor by blasting the STOP MAKING SENSE soundtrack and drinking krupnik.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:31 PM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
When I was about fourteen my father started bonding with our neighbor through bouts of intense pierogi making in the runup to Easter. They coped with the labor by blasting the STOP MAKING SENSE soundtrack and drinking krupnik.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:31 PM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]
The Whelk: You are looking for Cepelinai, the national dish of Lithuania.
posted by El Mariachi at 5:49 PM on December 22, 2014
posted by El Mariachi at 5:49 PM on December 22, 2014
This ain't no piegori
This ain't no krupnik
This ain't no foolin around
posted by The Whelk at 5:50 PM on December 22, 2014 [9 favorites]
This ain't no krupnik
This ain't no foolin around
posted by The Whelk at 5:50 PM on December 22, 2014 [9 favorites]
When I was about fourteen my father started bonding with our neighbor through bouts of intense pierogi making in the runup to Easter. They coped with the labor by blasting the STOP MAKING SENSE soundtrack and drinking krupnik.
Dangit, I already made my trip to the Polish deli and I forgot to get Żubrówka. I did get some jałowcowa kielbasa this time, in addition to the usual weselna kielbasa. I think with the juniper berries in the jałowcowa I'll go for a gin based cocktail. Maybe negronis?
My back is already aching from the 10 dozen anise pierniki (Christmas cookies) and I haven't even started the pierogi yet. I can see now why all of my family recipes make huge batches - not only are you feeding a lot of people, but hopefully many of them are helping with the labor! I miss my family pierogi assembly line - not only does it spread out the work but that's definitely some of our best bonding moments. We have a Polish Christmas carols album on reel-to-reel that thankfully my dad converted to MP3. I don't speak Polish but I don't think the pierogi would turn out right if I didn't listen to that while I'm making them.
posted by misskaz at 7:39 AM on December 23, 2014
Dangit, I already made my trip to the Polish deli and I forgot to get Żubrówka. I did get some jałowcowa kielbasa this time, in addition to the usual weselna kielbasa. I think with the juniper berries in the jałowcowa I'll go for a gin based cocktail. Maybe negronis?
My back is already aching from the 10 dozen anise pierniki (Christmas cookies) and I haven't even started the pierogi yet. I can see now why all of my family recipes make huge batches - not only are you feeding a lot of people, but hopefully many of them are helping with the labor! I miss my family pierogi assembly line - not only does it spread out the work but that's definitely some of our best bonding moments. We have a Polish Christmas carols album on reel-to-reel that thankfully my dad converted to MP3. I don't speak Polish but I don't think the pierogi would turn out right if I didn't listen to that while I'm making them.
posted by misskaz at 7:39 AM on December 23, 2014
One of the things I enjoy about living in western NY
I call shenanigans. There's nothing to enjoy about...
posted by mikelieman at 8:15 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
I call shenanigans. There's nothing to enjoy about...
posted by mikelieman at 8:15 AM on December 23, 2014 [1 favorite]
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The only difficulty with the original print being 50 years old is that some of the ingredients have newer names. Sorta like how Skim Milk now generally goes by Fat Free Milk.
posted by Badgermann at 6:01 AM on December 22, 2014