A "distressed & unfriendly" seal has been rescued from a British field.

December 22, 2014 8:57 AM

Experts believe the grey juvenile seal may have swam from a colony in Hilbre Island, in the Dee Estuary, and got lost.
A Merseyside Police spokesman said: "A report came in from dog walker at 9:39 AM of the animal on a farmers' field off Winwick Road in Newton-le-Willows."
The seal was put into the container and taken to a seal sanctuary, where it will be checked over before being returned to the sea.
Rachael Fraser, from [British Divers Marine Life Rescue Service], said: "It's very unusual."
posted by Going To Maine (36 comments total)

Never drinking tequila again.
posted by arcticseal at 9:00 AM on December 22, 2014 [11 favorites]

He was establishing a beachhead.
posted by Naberius at 9:03 AM on December 22, 2014

"Cheese it! The Feds!"
posted by robocop is bleeding at 9:05 AM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

You picked a fine time to leave Dee, loose seal.
posted by Iridic at 9:05 AM on December 22, 2014 [70 favorites]

So it swam all the way round the Wirral, up the Mersey, and then up Sankey Brook? Does it have family in St Helen's it was planning to visit for Christmas?
posted by Thing at 9:06 AM on December 22, 2014 [8 favorites]

Santa's experimental reindeer replacement scheme is not going well...
posted by Devonian at 9:08 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]

Crazy.
posted by acb at 9:11 AM on December 22, 2014

Who amongst us has not woken damp and confused in a field in Merseyside? especially at this, the office holiday party time of year.
posted by poffin boffin at 9:11 AM on December 22, 2014 [37 favorites]

The seals at Hilbre Island are very friendly. I always take some sprats to lob at them, though I've never had one try to follow me home.
posted by sobarel at 9:19 AM on December 22, 2014

Favorited and flagged as "Fantastic," Iridic.
Imma gonna giggle all day.
posted by Floydd at 9:22 AM on December 22, 2014

It's a strange world.
posted by bq at 9:28 AM on December 22, 2014

Came in here expecting Arrested Development references, and got treated to Kenny Rogers parody instead. What a great day!
posted by barchan at 9:33 AM on December 22, 2014 [2 favorites]

Of all the animals you might end up gently shoving with one of those long brooms, a seal seems the most apt.
posted by automatic cabinet at 9:42 AM on December 22, 2014 [4 favorites]

And of all the people to wield the long broom, the round guy with whiskers was the best choice.
posted by moonmilk at 9:52 AM on December 22, 2014 [5 favorites]

> "Farm owner Gary Watkinson said: 'It’s quite unusual.'"
So very English.
posted by Spanner Nic at 10:27 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Douglas Adams's posthumous communiques are subtle, but not overly so.
posted by clockzero at 10:56 AM on December 22, 2014 [18 favorites]

This is what the farmer's wife gets for disparaging sea lions.
posted by pxe2000 at 11:04 AM on December 22, 2014 [3 favorites]

Looks a bit Bath-and-Wells-ish to me. Has it got a tattoo on the back of the neck?
posted by briank at 11:06 AM on December 22, 2014

A distressed seal found stranded in a Merseyside field . . . fifty miles [inland] . . . and got “very, very lost. It’s within a field that’s fenced . . . we need to work out who it belongs to, and how it got there

Perhaps Elton has the answer:

Tell me why it's never light on my lawn,
Why does it rain and never say good-day to the new-born . . .
The Phoenix bird will leave this world to fly
If the Phoenix bird can fly then so can I.

Now tell me, grey seal
How did you wind up in that field?
Hitchin' a ride down Merseyside and keepin' it real?
Tell me, grey seal . . .

Who amongst us has not woken damp and confused in a field in Merseyside? especially at this, the office holiday party time of year.

Yeah, it's hardly a good night out unless you get a traffic cone grey seal . . . it's the policewoman's helmet and suspenders he was wearing that I don't understand!
 
posted by Herodios at 11:09 AM on December 22, 2014

I believe these might be the Arrested Development seal links you're looking for.
posted by arcticseal at 11:19 AM on December 22, 2014

So... a seal of disapproval, then?
posted by GenjiandProust at 11:42 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

This sort of thing is more common than one would think.

In 2004, a juvenile sea lion made its way nearly 100 miles from San Francisco Bay up the San Joaquin River and into the Central Valley, where a farmer discovered him sitting by the side of a road, half a mile from the nearest water. In 1985, a 40-foot, 45-ton humpback whale was found swimming past corn fields in a slough 70 miles inland from the Golden Gate Bridge.
posted by oozy rat in a sanitary zoo at 11:56 AM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Another tragedy of the common seals.
posted by dhartung at 12:22 PM on December 22, 2014

> You picked a fine time to leave Dee, loose seal.

That was horrible, one for the ages.
posted by benito.strauss at 12:24 PM on December 22, 2014 [1 favorite]

Strange how the RSPCA finds time, staff, transport, and a space in a sanctuary whenever the TV cameras are around. Try ringing them about a cat in distress and see how far you get.
posted by StephenB at 12:59 PM on December 22, 2014

After watching that video of the Seal raping a Penguin; I am now all for clubbing baby seals. Compared to the majestic, tuxedo wearing flightless ambassadors of cool; the seals are loud, smelly, lazy, uncouth neanderthals. I am planning a trip to Canada next year to join the clubbing.
posted by indianbadger1 at 4:15 PM on December 22, 2014

Still giggling, Iridic.
posted by Floydd at 4:52 PM on December 22, 2014

Who's fat widdle doggie? Yes, YOU'RE a fat widdle doggie!
posted by KingEdRa at 5:22 PM on December 22, 2014

> Crazy

I SAW WHAT YOU DID THERE …

(but it's never gonna survive unless …)
posted by scruss at 6:15 PM on December 22, 2014

I am planning a trip to Canada next year to join the clubbing.

Hey, I'm right here, eh!
posted by arcticseal at 7:19 PM on December 22, 2014 [5 favorites]

Teenagers! What are gonna do wif it?
posted by Oyéah at 12:10 PM on December 23, 2014

"You" le phoque au Cap Ferret avec un chien
posted by homunculus at 10:56 AM on January 17, 2015 [2 favorites]

I encourage every one to watch homunculus's link. Oh lala lala.
posted by arcticseal at 12:03 PM on January 17, 2015

I second arcticseal's encouragement.
posted by moonmilk at 9:04 PM on January 17, 2015

Niouk mon petit phoque.
posted by homunculus at 9:14 PM on January 17, 2015 [1 favorite]

Sea lion evaded captors to take a dip at public pool
posted by homunculus at 10:48 AM on January 18, 2015