Plastic Jesus [MLYT]

December 24, 2014 4:03 PM

I don't care if it rains or freezes
as long as I got my plastic Jesus
ridin' on the dash board of my car
comes in colors pink and pleasant
glows in the dark cause it's iridescent
take it with you when you travel far

Lyrics and chords to Plastic Jesus.

Bonus riff on a clasic:
Thank you Jack White for the fiber-optic Jesus that you gave me
it shined so bright that I couldn't help believin' it would save me"*
*same as before but all the jokes are over-explained

posted by peeedro (17 comments total)

Also, Chocolate Jesus. Can't forget Him!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:09 PM on December 24, 2014 [4 favorites]

Also Plastic Cthulhu and, props if you can find it, Plastic Vishnu, both by Joe Bethancourt
posted by IndigoJones at 4:51 PM on December 24, 2014

When I first saw the multiple links, I wondered how far in Paul Newman would be.

Very good, peeedro. Carry on.
posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI at 6:04 PM on December 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

I'm not afraid of any kind of disaster
as long as I got my plaster Zoroaster.
posted by 0rison at 6:11 PM on December 24, 2014 [8 favorites]

I can't favorite this hard enough.
posted by sweetmarie at 6:22 PM on December 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

"i got a statue of vegas vic instead of jesus on the dashboard of my car"

really weird that this classic tune shows up right now, as i'll be posting a song with the line above in 2 or 3 days
posted by pyramid termite at 6:39 PM on December 24, 2014

This post is a thing of beauty (and shall, no doubt, be a joy forever).
posted by mr. digits at 6:50 PM on December 24, 2014

He's a boon to all young lovers
'Neath his base fits three rubbers
Riding on the dashboard of my car.
posted by aspo at 6:56 PM on December 24, 2014

your own personal plastic jesus
posted by Redfield at 7:06 PM on December 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

Does anyone know anything about the tune shared by "Plastic Jesus," "Oklahoma Hills," "Red River Blues" (apparently composed by Jimmie Davis, but I only know of Jorma Kaukonen's rendition), and I'm sure a bunch of other songs?
posted by waninggibbon at 8:45 PM on December 24, 2014

"Get yourself a sweet Madonna
Dressed in rhinestones sittin' on a
Pedestal of abalone shell.
Goin' ninety I ain't scary
'Cause I got the virgin Mary
Assurin' me that I won't go to hell."
posted by Mental Wimp at 8:52 PM on December 24, 2014 [2 favorites]

Man I wish I could dig up a link to the version Don Imus used to play on his radio show... Reverend Billy Sol Hargis for the win!
posted by lotusstp at 9:09 PM on December 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

My personal favorite version, by the Flametrick Subs.
posted by dhens at 9:45 PM on December 24, 2014 [1 favorite]

Aww. My dad would sing this to himself absentmindedly while doing things.

Dusting? "I don't care if it gets real hairy..."

Rewiring a lamp? "As long as I got my magnetic Mary..."

Driving? "Riding on the dashboard of my car."
posted by evidenceofabsence at 12:45 AM on December 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

Rev. Billy Saul Hargis

Hmm. No links, but from memory:

Hey, Billy Saul, won't you please heal us all,
Oh say, Billy Saul, wont you please heal us all,
Gramma's ticker's gettin' weaker
She's got her hands up by the speakerrr --
Oh say, Billy Saul, won't you please heal us all!

Well, our daughter came home with a 'social disease',
Even the dog's got terminal fleas,
And Daddy's still coughin' a' awful lot.

But ever' Saturday night at the nine o' clock hour,
We wait for your magic healing power,
With our hands -- and Tommy's hook -- on the radio. . . .

posted by Herodios at 6:32 AM on December 25, 2014

That song always makes me hungry for hard boiled eggs.
posted by buzzv at 6:37 AM on December 25, 2014 [1 favorite]

In high school back in Maryland I was a founding member of a jug band called The Tucson Truckers. Plastic Jesus was one of the few songs in our set list, and our favorite. Thanks for posting!
posted by Rash at 7:01 AM on December 25, 2014